Chapter 25 – Justin, Dustin’

 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016.

 

Day 45

 

You look out the window and it’s freezing, but Finnish apartments are always warm and nice in winter — about 21°C.

Anna’s wearing her favorite pj’s: a navy blue tank top with pink text, and flannel shorts with a tartan pattern. So comfy! She’s braiding her hair loosely, ending in a pony tail slightly to the right side.

Hmm, time to get my highlights redone.

Tonight, Anna’s just chilling. Strolling around her house, dusting off here and there, feeling good. Headphones on — she’s swinging to Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself, playing on her iPhone.

So melodic — she likes the songs her pupils suggest — Yeah… moving on. That’s the spirit — and she’s humming along.

OMG, that reminds me. Meeting up with the Norwegian god tomorrow! And I still haven’t researched how to say no to a second date.

Anna googles “Let him down easy,” hitting the search button.

Articles, forums… Oh, a video! Here we go. Let me listen to this while I have a snack. Just in case I need it tomorrow.

 

DON’T LIKE HIM? Let him down easy like this (by Matt Boggs)

▶️  “… why would this be important in meeting your man? Because the path to meeting your man… is through the dating process. It’s by going out with people…

“Inevitably, when you give people a chance, you’re going to meet people who are just not a great fit for you.”

You don’t say! 💀🤑🤖👿🤡👺

“Until you end up meeting that person and it just clicks – feels amazing and there’s tons of chemistry.”

Uh, I want that! 🙂 

“…Reframe rejection… to have liberty and freedom to go on more dates…”

Nice.

“…But first, let me explain why this is so important: if you’re afraid of rejecting someone, then you’re not going to go out with a lot of guys who, at first glance, look like, ‘ahhh, I might end up rejecting this guy.’

“But you go out, and you find out that this guy is amazing! This guy blows your socks out!”

My socks!! 😍🤩😍

 

“You see, he’s everything you never knew that you always wanted (to quote a line from Fools Rush In)…

“So, you’re going end up going out on more dates, you won’t be afraid to disappoint them and you’ll be able to reject them in the kindest, most humane way possible.”

Hmm.

“So here’s the key: men respect people who are (1) honest, and who are (2) direct.”

Seriously??! It’s that simple?

“And you want to be absolute. Let me explain. A lot of women like to dance around the topic. They like to hint at things…

“Let me be clear, men don’t speak hint… And letting a guy down easy actually creates more pain through the process than just being honest, being direct and being absolute.”

 

⏸  Wow. I had no idea. I like it when people let me down easy. I can take a hint…

Man, are we different!

OK. I do want people to be objective with me. But still, in a very warm way, giving me their honest reasons. Having a talk about it… Then I don’t feel hurt and it’s easier to move on.

▶️ Oh, gosh! Boggs is telling us not to give guys the reasons!? Haha. That would just be a challenge for the guy to overcome. Or something like that. Interesting…!?

 

“So there’s one thing that nobody can argue, when it comes to calling it quits in any kind of dating experience. It is absolute. That you just don’t feel the chemistry with this person.

“…Two ways that you can reject a man…

“(1) If you’re talking to a guy online:

“‘Hey, thanks so much for contacting me. I’m flattered, but I don’t really feel we are a good fit. You sound like a great guy, and I’m wishing you all the best. Take care.’

“…Great text. Direct, to the point. It’s confident. And you’re wishing them well, you’re being respectful – an open, honest person.”

I like that.

“(2) If you’ve gone out with the guy and it’s face to face on a date (you’re not really feeling it with this guy, but you can tell that he’s going to ask you out on a second date):

“You can simply say, ‘Hey, I really appreciate going out with you tonight. But unfortunately, I’m not feeling the romantic chemistry. You’re an amazing guy, I know you’re going to meet someone really special, and I’m wishing you all the best’.”

Oh, I could have said that to Tapio – he was so sweet. But, I wouldn’t say that to a nutjob. Hmm. Better screen them better from now on.

“…That’s all you need to say. It’s that simple… Understand that it’s just part of the game, no big deal. You’re going to reject people. People are going to reject you. But you’re all gonna live on, and ultimately you’re going to find that special someone and create an extraordinary relationship….”

Hmm. Thanks, Matt! I’ll practice. I’ll try…

Values. Anna believes in self-respect and in treating others with respect, too.

 

Ding!

Yay, Christian’s sending me a Whatsapp message. Aww…

 

Plo-Plim!

And Riku on Tinder.

Plo-Plim!

Ding!

 

 

 

Obs. Day 45 since moving out.