More coming soon!

 

Saturday, 6 January 2018.

 

Hi friends,

Happy New Year!!

I’m back from a wonderful ten-day trip to England with my son. We loved every minute, even the three missed flights, delays and the 40h which took us to get back to Helsinki.

It was very, very special to meet and spend time with beloved people, friends, cousins, CT2…

During the trip, Joey decided that my cheeks are very round and its muscles strong. Haha. He teased me every day about them, “Mom, you are so cute!” pinching them and smiling at me. Believe it or not, that was one of the highlights of our trip. Isn’t it wonderful when your 16-year-old likes to hang out with you?

We had a great time! Especially in Windsor, Sandhurst, Greenwich and Hammersmith. 🙂

 

windsor

(Anna in Windsor)

 

london

(Joey on Westminster Bridge)

 

Today is my first day back home. Joey is out at a sleepover and I’ve taken the whole day to be silent. No music, no TV, no people or phones until 9 p.m.

I’ve been reflecting about who I am, how I’ve changed, who I aspire to be.

Still the same – hopefully a good person – happy, energetic, affectionate, etc. But calmer, more content, stronger and more trusting than ever.

No New Year’s resolutions, but good plans already put into action: sports, healthy foods, healthy thoughts…

Being present and caring with others.

Reading more classics.

Watching all the Star Wars movies with my son – I have never, can you believe it?

Treating myself as my best friend would.

Doing more of the things that I love and want to do.

Investing in a better future version of myself, even as I grow older on the outside. May inner beauty grow – may the ugly parts of our selves get smaller.

Believing and dreaming on! There is a time for everything. So, no more sadness, no fear, no despair. Life is good!

Finishing the book about Anna’s 2016 in love. Now I know how to go about it… so expect new chapters every week. 🙂

 

Dear friends, enjoy 2018. Be happy!

Love,

Annita

 

 

Advertisements

Chapter 28 – In the Forest

 

Tuesday, 10 October 2017.

 

Her work trip is long – an hour and twenty minutes from home to the second school where she teaches twice a week. Anna’s driving there now and wonderful English choir music is playing in her Kia Ceed.

These drives are often special. When she doesn’t use the time for listening to Ted Talks or chatting with friends and relatives over the phone, she gets to meditate.

Reflect. Revisit her inner world and check how she really feels about things. Not just logically speaking, but more importantly, in her gut.

Heart. Soul.

A couple of deer have just crossed the road before her. Dangerous. But oh, so beautiful!

Her mind is empty, for a change, and she’s just sucking in the majesty of the Finnish countryside nature.

 

Beauty – ah! What is beauty?

These wheat fields. Oh. Such colors! Now I understand Van Gogh.

 

Rain is falling gently from the grey clouds onto the slippery, curvy, hilly roads ahead, as the Chelmsford Citadel Songsters harmonize with each other. The trees all around her are shedding what they’ll have no use for in the coming seasons.

Gracefully, nonetheless.

Their yellow leafs dance their way down, blowing in the wind as they fall to the ground. To match the scenery, thankful tears of deep emotion escape Anna’s eyes.

Shamelessly.

Lots of people I love are going through so much. Both the good and the bad. And all those dates I had last year. Real human encounters some of them. And then love. I’m going through rain in my soul, too. 

But behind those clouds, the sun is shining strong and it will conquer again.

She inhales deeply.

 

And what about people? What makes a person beautiful? What makes a guy handsome in my eyes?

I know.

Very well.

She arrives at the school parking lot, stays in her car and quickly scribbles some thoughts on a leaflet. She’ll keep on working on the poem during her lunch break.

🍂 🌾

 

I’ve been wondering. What is beauty? Hmm, who is handsome??

 

I think beauty’s a sad countenance

With a hurt heart that’s healing.

A brave heart – succumbed –

That keeps resilient,

Like a little bird must in a cold, cold storm.

 

Beauty is…

…both generosity and self-confidence.

…self-esteem, a good posture.

And your smile.

Yes, yours. Who else’s, precious one?

 

Your weight, your height.

Being you. Your wrinkles.

Trying to become a better version of yourself (with help),

While being comfortable in…

Your own skin.

 

A fearless soul

Marching to battle,

Though so fearful in sacrifice, maturity.

A scarred soldier who conquers:

Beautiful is he.

 

Beauty’s…

Intelligence.

Producing and loving. Youthful vigor.

Experience. Old age.

A life. YOLO. R.I.P.

 

Acceptance is graceful – weaknesses and all.

Loving yourself in a healthy way

To then really, really love others:

Your neighbor, your soul mate,

Your father? Your friends.

 

Oh, beauty is a trusting spirit

– Like that of an innocent child.

Gentleness, uncorrupted sweetness, and kindness, delight.

 

It’s to be proud of your achievements, talents.

Yet humble at heart.

 

It’s certainty, uncertainty.

Genuine you are.

 

In service. Purity.

Determination, vulnerability,

Respect, authenticity.

Do shine your light!

 

Forgiveness.

Wholeness.

Your brokenness, too.

Gratitude. A joyful being!

Deciding to live in truth.

 

Your amazing body and that sparkle in your eyes –

Beauty is the whole package, you see? Cutie pie.

 

When you can be bothered

You’re so handsome, making lots of little efforts

Both in action and in words,

You hardworking, fun,

Affectionate Guy.

 

Beauty’s…

A person walking in the forest

In solitude.

If accompanied – oh!

They’ll soar, they’ll fly.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is!

Tudo é belo ao que ama…

 

It’s solving your problems and

Finding your purpose.

That, beauty is…

Most definitely.

Indeed.

🍂

 

She’ll read her poem aloud to some. She’ll send it to ten-fifteen loved ones she finds beautiful. Who inspire her. Including him.

© 2017 rf

Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Wheatfield_with_crows_-_Google_Art_Project – kopio

Wheatfield with Crows, 1890. Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam

 

 

Obs. About a year and eleven months since moving out.