Tuesday, 10 October 2017.
Her work trip is long – an hour and twenty minutes from home to the second school where she teaches twice a week. Anna’s driving there now and wonderful English choir music is playing in her Kia Ceed.
These drives are often special. When she doesn’t use the time for listening to Ted Talks or chatting with friends and relatives over the phone, she gets to meditate.
Reflect. Revisit her inner world and check how she really feels about things. Not just logically speaking, but more importantly, in her gut.
A couple of deer have just crossed the road before her. Dangerous. But oh, so beautiful!
Her mind is empty, for a change, and she’s just sucking in the majesty of the Finnish countryside nature.
Beauty – ah! What is beauty?
These wheat fields. Oh. Such colors! Now I understand Van Gogh.
Rain is falling gently from the grey clouds onto the slippery, curvy, hilly roads ahead, as the Chelmsford Citadel Songsters harmonize with each other. The trees all around her are shedding what they’ll have no use for in the coming seasons.
Their yellow leafs dance their way down, blowing in the wind as they fall to the ground. To match the scenery, thankful tears of deep emotion escape Anna’s eyes.
Lots of people I love are going through so much. Both the good and the bad. And all those dates I had last year. Real human encounters some of them. And then love. I’m going through rain in my soul, too.
But behind those clouds, the sun is shining strong and it will conquer again.
She inhales deeply.
And what about people? What makes a person beautiful? What makes a guy handsome in my eyes?
She arrives at the school parking lot, stays in her car and quickly scribbles some thoughts on a leaflet. She’ll keep on working on the poem during her lunch break.
I’ve been wondering. What is beauty? Hmm, who is handsome??
I think beauty’s a sad countenance
With a hurt heart that’s healing.
A brave heart – succumbed –
That keeps resilient,
Like a little bird must in a cold, cold storm.
…both generosity and self-confidence.
…self-esteem, a good posture.
And your smile.
Yes, yours. Who else’s, precious one?
Your weight, your height.
Being you. Your wrinkles.
Trying to become a better version of yourself (with help),
While being comfortable in…
Your own skin.
A fearless soul
Marching to battle,
Though so fearful in sacrifice, maturity.
A scarred soldier who conquers:
Beautiful is he.
Producing and loving. Youthful vigor.
Experience. Old age.
A life. YOLO. R.I.P.
Acceptance is graceful – weaknesses and all.
Loving yourself in a healthy way
To then really, really love others:
Your neighbor, your soul mate,
Your father? Your friends.
Oh, beauty is a trusting spirit
– Like that of an innocent child.
Gentleness, uncorrupted sweetness, and kindness, delight.
It’s to be proud of your achievements, talents.
Yet humble at heart.
It’s certainty, uncertainty.
Genuine you are.
In service. Purity.
Do shine your light!
Your brokenness, too.
Gratitude. A joyful being!
Deciding to live in truth.
Your amazing body and that sparkle in your eyes –
Beauty is the whole package, you see? Cutie pie.
When you can be bothered
You’re so handsome, making lots of little efforts
Both in action and in words,
You hardworking, fun,
A person walking in the forest
If accompanied – oh!
They’ll soar, they’ll fly.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is!
Tudo é belo ao que ama…
It’s solving your problems and
Finding your purpose.
That, beauty is…
She’ll read her poem aloud to some. She’ll send it to ten-fifteen loved ones she finds beautiful. Who inspire her. Including him.
© 2017 rf
Wheatfield with Crows, 1890. Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam
Obs. About a year and eleven months since moving out.