now what – The Chronicles of a Happy Divorcée

More coming soon!

Saturday, 6 January 2018.

Hi friends,

Happy New Year!!

I’m back from a wonderful ten-day trip to England with my son. We loved every minute, even the three missed flights, delays and the 40h which took us to get back to Helsinki.

It was very, very special to meet and spend time with beloved people, friends, cousins, CT2…

During the trip, Joey decided that my cheeks are very round and its muscles strong. Haha. He teased me every day about them, “Mom, you are so cute!” pinching them and smiling at me. Believe it or not, that was one of the highlights of our trip. Isn’t it wonderful when your 16-year-old likes to hang out with you?

We had a great time! Especially in Windsor, Sandhurst, Greenwich and Hammersmith. 🙂

windsor

(Anna in Windsor)

london

(Joey on Westminster Bridge)

Today is my first day back home. Joey is out at a sleepover and I’ve taken the whole day to be silent. No music, no TV, no people or phones until 9 p.m.

I’ve been reflecting about who I am, how I’ve changed, who I aspire to be.

Still the same – hopefully a good person – happy, energetic, affectionate, etc. But calmer, more content, stronger and more trusting than ever.

No New Year’s resolutions, but good plans already put into action: sports, healthy foods, healthy thoughts…

Being present and caring with others.

Reading more classics.

Watching all the Star Wars movies with my son – I have never, can you believe it?

Treating myself as my best friend would.

Doing more of the things that I love and want to do.

Investing in a better future version of myself, even as I grow older on the outside. May inner beauty grow – may the ugly parts of our selves get smaller.

Believing and dreaming on! There is a time for everything. So, no more sadness, no fear, no despair. Life is good!

Finishing the book about Anna’s 2016 in love. Now I know how to go about it… so expect new chapters every week. 🙂

Dear friends, enjoy 2018. Be happy!

Love,

Annita

Merry Xmas, Dear All! S2

24 December 2017.

Merry Xmas, Mr. One out there, family, friends, everyone!

Today, my amazing daughter Kristiina surprised me with special gifts. Very well planned, very affectionate. If you have read chapter 21 – Anniversary – you’ll see.

Lindt chocolates, socks… You’ll understand the bird reference later, in book 2. Haha.

Could she have been any more thoughtful?!?

Check these out:

Seriously? She’s the sweetest! S2

Love her sooooo much!

Joey and I are going on a special Xmas trip, where he’ll get me something I choose, too! S2

Hmmm, so who needs men?? Hmm. Well, I want Him.

Mr. One.

I need him – to make me even happier than I already am. 😀

And while there’s a bump in the road… Yes! I am happy and will remain so! It’s a decision. No more tears. Not too many, anyway. Just good emotional ones, from time to time, just to feel so very alive.

Stronger and happier each day – appreciating the wonderful people and the wonderful love I have in my life. Like Kristiina’s. Like Joey’s. Riitta’s, Marcos’s. Sarah’s, Moses’s. Ida’s. Lisa’s. CT2’s. James Bond’s…

Like yours!! S2

And so you wonder, who needs men? Why did Kristiina write that? Where is Christian???

Well… keep reading. 🙂

Obs. Feliz Natal! God jul! Hyvää joulua! Feliz Navidád! Merry Xmas! xxx

Chapter 82 – Yes, Definitely!

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 26 February 2016.

18:25 Hi Chris, sweetheart! 😊 This afternoon I ran 10 km, walked 6 and cycled 5. In the cold! I wonder what has made me this motivated… Or who has. 😊 Here’s another acrostic for you. It popped into my mind during the run:

C aring

H onorable

R omantic

I ngeniously competitive

S exy

T all, talkative and tasty

I ncredibly cute

A mazing

N aked in the sauna? Yes, definitely!

Wishing you were here!

18:34 Hi Annita. I was waiting for your messages… 😊 I love the acrostic! ❤️‍ And would love to be with you. Great workout there. I like that you’re active – you have a nice body. And the right height. Pocket size. 😊

Need to see you soon. Would love a hot, romantic get-away with you. Long weekend by a fireplace.

Then we have a choice… I come over and we rent a cottage. Or you come with me to Spain! Or both. 😊

Aww. I’d love Spain, someday. But I told my teens that I’d like taking them abroad first, since their dad has just come from the Bahamas…

18:40 Fair enough. Can we rent that cottage you like so much?

I’ve only been there with extended family. But I’ll check! 😊 You made me get used to good loving all day and every night.

I want to eat more grapes with you.

😊 Yum. And I want to draw a tattoo on you!

I love your belly button.

18:43 You haven’t drunk from my navel yet.

OK. I just need 4 things……

Fire…

Sauna…

Snow…

More champagne…

And you. OK, five. 😊 Are you wearing my t-shirt tonight again? Feels odd not seeing you. 😞

Odd = sad

19:30 That’s the fourth time you say you’re sad not to be with me since yesterday. Yay! I’ll tell you a secret. Have worn your T-shirt all day since yesterday (except for the run).

Nice. 😊 I had nothing to wear of yours… 😞

Next time! Feels that I’m closer to you and that you are hugging me a little. And I can smell of you.

I know what you mean. I miss your smell. But I remember it. 😊

Sweet. I miss your profile.

Profile? Tinder?

No! Looking at the profile of your face while you close your eyes and cuddle up close to me.

God I miss that. 😞

Censured

Censured addictive. It feels like ages since I saw you. And months since we first met!

Feels like I’ve known you for a year. Really! Almost falling asleep here. Nap time!

You are the only person to keep me awake till 5 am these days. 😊 That’s a compliment.

23:00 Next time I’m there, I’d love to see some more old movies. Naked. You in my arms. Little ears. Which I would pull and tweak. 😊

23:01 This morning my daughter came to visit and she said I looked younger, happier and invigorated. I wonder why.

Well……. you looked young and happy whenever I saw you 😊. I’m booking that cottage. It’s a done deal! Can I call you tomorrow? I miss hearing your voice.

Meeting my good friend Justin tomorrow. For lunch. Off to bed now. Sweet dreams. No nightmares. But if you do… tell me. Kiss on your lips, censured, and a little bite on your tongue.

Night night, handsome. Lots of good things to look forward to. Mmm. Can’t wait! Miss you, too! Xx

Obs. Sad four times!! 🙂

Chapter 81 – Enveloped

Thursday, 25 February 2016.

Fire, sugar and longing.

He’s not there physically, but she feels happy; completely enveloped by him.

Wearing his T-shirt to sleep – having many, many sweet dreams.

Obs. He writes that he is sad with longing 4 times. 🙂

Chapter 80 – Sad

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 25 February 2016.

Anna has been her best self this week.

She felt appreciated for who she is.

She’s so happy, my friends! Every woman deserves that…

Chris and Annita got to see a few different sides of each other, and now she wants to keep exploring what they have got in store. The best of what life has got to give? Slowly, no rush.

Time flies.

13:54 Just taking off. Thanks so much for taking me to airport. And for a magical week. I can’t wait to see you again soon. Enjoy the rest of your holidays and speak soon. Think of me when you eat your grapes. 😊

Instead of answering his message, she calls her best friend Lisa to tell her about her spring break.

“And ohhhh, Lisa. It was so fun! I felt so relaxed. You know how hard-working I am, right? Always doing something in the house and at work – a thousand projects for me and for others…

“But this week a miracle happened. I just stopped everything. I just enjoyed myself. I even sat on the sofa a few times, can you imagine that? Christian made me stop all the rush. Naturally. Just like that.”

“Seriously? Is that even possible?”

“Awww. He called our week magical. And yes, that’s the best way to describe it. It was magical!”

“Really?” — Liisa giggles — “Tell me more!”

“Gosh, I feel I’m like I’m 20 years old again! I had free time, dates. I was treated with courtesy and good mood. English manners are super sexy. All these hugs, this affection. Pure joy!

“I felt important, Lisa. Well, I certainly retributed. He earned it…

“Why did I stay in the marriage that long? Tell me, am I just dreaming now? Do tell me!”

“I’m so excited for you, Anna!”

“Thanks, Lisa. And thank you, Tinder.” — Ding! — “Hey, Christian is texting me now. Haha.”

17:11 I made it. Fell asleep and the passenger beside me woke me up after landing. Must have thought I died.

“Wait… Lisa, he is trying to call me on WhatsApp now. Can I call you back?”

Anna takes Christian’s call.

“Hello,” she says sweetly.

“Hi.” — there’s laughter in his voice — “It’s only me. I’ve just landed. I miss you so much that I had to hear your voice again,” he says with longing.

“That’s awesome. I miss you, too.” — smiles.

She texts him immediately after they hang up.

My pleasure taking you to the airport. That way I got to touch and kiss you a little more. 😊

I have some nice plans for tonight, starting with a long nap soon… I’ll miss your ears, Chris. And how you love sleeping! I’ll miss trying to wake you up.

She sends him the pics of their last date at Gringos Locos and Töölö Bay. Especially their kiss selfie.

Mmm, couldn’t stop biting your tongue. Totally irresistible. 😊 I miss you. Xx.

Anna, thanks for the pics. I’m feeling quite sad to have left you there. ☹️

I saw my son. Glad he remembers me. Hope you will wear my t-shirt tonight. Where are you sleeping? Sofa? Floor? Bed? Chair? I will imagine you next to me. And I’ll be back. 😊

There are still so many games for us to play, Christian. And I can’t believe it you beat me in some! I want my revenge. More movies, forests, walks, hugs. Would love to show you many nice places. My favorites. We also need to try out other kinds of saunas. You’re sweet! 😊

In the next few weeks (well, months), they’ll be chatting more avidly than ever. There will be frequent visits, mind-blowing dates, hot getaways, more and more unforgettable texts, precious voice messages, movie nights, novel games, new tricks for old dogs…

Sharing, dreaming, touching, growing fond of, having fun, feeling inspired, challenging one another, missing, praying, trusting, believing, questioning and way too many crises, too. Eurgh. They’ll take the good with the bad. Grateful. Appreciative. Sometimes feeling sadness and doubt. Hopeful.

And then… hmmm.

But, who knows what tomorrow will bring?? One day at a time. No rush.

Obs. Missing him soooo very much!

Chapter 79 – Gringos

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Wednesday, 24 February 2016.

That week, when they’re apart for his work calls and her visit with relatives, they text each other.

Christian, what an adorable place you have in Spain! I looked at the link you sent me. Happy for you. Now I’m ashamed of my lack of space. Though very grateful with the life I’ve got. So many have so much less than me…

Oh! Spain was my home for a long time. I miss the fireplace, most of all. And the quiet. Your place is lovely, Anna. It’s all about maximizing space.

Yes! I make the most out of it. Keeping organized. And as long as my home is filled with love, the bills are paid, there’s healthy food and I can give my teens the occasional treat, I’m more than satisfied.

Trust me. You are doing an amazing job.

What kids want the most is attention, anyway.

Your children are lucky. And I can see you have lots of interest, passion and energy. I’m sure your ex is a good dad, as well.

Yes, he is. And thanks, I really do. I just need to heal my feelings a bit.

It’s always intense, their back and forth interaction.

Their holidays together just keep getting better. More fun! They play short, strategic board games with lots of competitiveness – Ticket to Ride, Nexus, Ingenious. They laugh, watch more movies and then there’s all that crazy-sweet loving.

They’re chatting in the shower now, getting ready to go out. This will be their last night together.

This week!

“Yeah Chris, I know myself and what I dream of. I don’t want to live alone forever – of course not. But it would be crazy to be in a hurry, after a 20-year-long marriage behind me. I’ve gotta be wise.”

“But maybe in a year? Maybe then? I understand you, Anna, and need time, too.”

“Maybe one. Maybe two. Hopefully not more! Then my teens will have been raised.” Is he just curious? It’s interesting that he is bringing up this topic already. I must have made quite an impression, then. Cool.

“I think you like me, Chris!”

“OMG, you are fantastic, Anna. You are the whole package. The whole package! Really! I’m amazed.”

“You are? I am? How come?!” — She smiles happily.

“Oh, Annita. You’re organized, hard-working, fun, sweet, smart.”

“Mm, what else? Keep it coming.”

“And so beautiful, sexy girl!” — He pinches her cheeks.

I am?! — “Of course I am, Chris. And you’re not bad either.”

Yesterday, he took her out on dates to Stones – for a quick happy hour – and then to Vapiano, near Stockmann. Vapiano was quite boring and she almost left, because he was very late in coming to meet her there. Humpf. A bunch of business calls for his start-up and such. He apologized, of course, but hmm.

Now it’s his last night in Helsinki, and “I want to make it special, Anna. No phones, no hurry. Choose one of your favorite places and I’ll take you there!”

“Gringos Locos it is, then!” — with delicious food and an authentic feel — “They have such cool decorations, Chris. With real ponchos and sombreros from Mexico. It’s not a franchise, you know… Joey and Kristiina love the place, too!”

(Later in 2017, Gringos is shut down and a new restaurant called Hooks is opened in the same location. Haha. Must be destiny, but Anna hasn’t been there yet…)

The winter air is crisp and dry, as Christian and Anna walk the 4 km to their last date night this week, stopping to take some pictures of each other by the Töölö Bay. And kiss, of course. Great memories!

They’ve joked and had a chat with the cute, tattooed waiter – they’ve eaten the marvelous entrecôte – and now they are sitting there, just smiling and looking at each other. Not a care in the world.

“Anna, your teeth are so white! I like your fashion sense, but I love your happy smile. Really, how can your teeth be this white?”

“Haha. I think you’re just comparing them to heavy tea-drinkers’ teeth, English guy. Mine are just normal…”

“No. They’re really white!”

“You’re funny, Chris!” — First time a date has praised my pearly whites. Haha! — “Btw, I like the shirt you’re wearing tonight, lover boy!” — She smiles looking into his vulnerable, beautiful eyes. His gaze says a thousand things his mouth won’t utter. — “I’ve had a happy week, Christian. Thank you for all these dates!”

“Thank you, Anna. I never knew whether you’d want to see me again.” — His voice sounds vulnerable, too! — “The same mystery every afternoon! You were always plotting, huh………?” — Silence.

He looks at her with a quizzed look on his face. — “Will you want to see me again when I come back?”

She hasn’t been plotting – no!

She has simply been wondering about him and his life, because I can already tell I like this charming guy.

What is he looking for, really? What can I become to him eventually? What’s the potential? I just want a boyfriend for now – is that too much to ask in life?

That’s it – a bf.

And this week has surpassed my expectations…

“There you go plotting again! With The Look!” — He protests jokingly.

“Chris… I just want to share the simple good things in life with someone special. Nothing mysterious there. Good movies. Games. Sports. Loving. Friendship. Trips… Hmm. Are you special, Christian? Hmm. Let me see… Ah, maybe you’ll do.” — She teases him, laughing affectionately. — “Yes! I want to see you again.” — pause — “But do enjoy your son in Berlin, in the meanwhile.” — In that feminine voice she’s growing used to now.

“Phew! In that case, I’ll be back with you soon, Annita!” — He is a natural sweetie, isn’t he?

And… She’s getting a serious crush. Is he really coming back??

I’ll just have to wait and see. Guys have to do their part. My bf will!

Hand in hand they take the walk back home from Gringos.

Something has been bugging her for 2 km, so they have to stop.

She holds onto him with one arm, takes off her right boot and rolls down her hold-up pantyhose that has ripped and is hurting her toes.

“Are you going to repeat that naked-outside-wearing-just-your-overcoat-and boots drill, Annita?”

“Haha. No. That was spontaneous… You know I had to change the parking meter fast, don’t tease me now! My toes hurt.”

“That was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. I loved it!” He supports her on the icy sidewalk, and then gives her a passionate kiss and a warm embrace. This is what love in pieces tastes like! Gosh.

“Let’s take a kiss selfie, Anna! Show me how.”

Click, click, click.

He’s looking hot – wearing her mother’s scarf and his elegant overcoat.

“You have the juciest lips, Anna! The best kisses I’ve had in all my life.”

“Awww. You do, too! I love your thin-thicks.”

They resume their walk.

Anna is happy.

Obs. Sighs. Happy, happy sighs!

Chapter 78 – The Student Prince

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Ein zwei drei vier
Lift your stein and drink your beer

Drink! Drink! Drink!
To eyes that are bright as stars when they’re shining on me!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To lips that are red and sweet as the fruit on the tree!

Here’s a hope that those bright eyes will shine
Lovingly, longingly soon into mine!
May those lips that are red and sweet,
Tonight with joy my own lips meet!

Drink! Drink!
Let the toast start!
May young hearts never part!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Let every true lover salute his sweetheart!

Drink! Drink! Drink!
To arms that are white and warm as a rose in the sun!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To hearts that will love one, only when I am the one!
Here’s a hope that those soft arms will twine
Tenderly, trustingly soon around mine!

All I ask is the right to see those smiling eyes beguiling me
Drink! Drink!
Let the toast start!
May young hearts never part!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Let every true lover salute his sweetheart!
Let’s drink!

Tuesday, 23 February 2016.

She visits her sister Sarah, for a late lunch with her niece and nephews, mom Riitta, and her teens Kristiina and Joey.

“Anna mamma, you are glowing,” says Kristiina, laughing and giving her a hug, “How did your date go? Was that Christian nice?”

“Oh, yes. Very!” — Anna smiles — “In fact, I’m having my third dinner with him tonight. I’ll tell you a little more during the weekend, OK darling? What about you and Joey? How are your holidays going?”

Yes, Anna mamma, you are glowing, girl! — She agrees as passes the entry hall mirror. —So good to feel happy!

In the evening, Christian and Anna’s arms twine. They are cooling off, looking at the panoramic view from the sauna terraces on the eigth floor of her building, before going back in for more löyly.

“I missed you, Anna!”

“Oh, did you now? Already!??” — their lips meet — “I did too, Christian, but just a little bit.”

“Ouch,” he says slapping her bottom, “Is that so?”

“Ouch! Christian!!!”

It’s movie night now.

“Here are the Fiesta Salads you’ve ordered, Madame!” he says and then inquires, “What are we watching, Annita?”

“Thank you, sweet guy! Let’s eat as we watch The Student Prince? It’s another classic my dad taught me to love.” Oh! Dad, the pastor… Very genuine and strong in his faith. He’d have a heart attack if he knew I’m sleeping with the Englishman… Sigh. But I’m an adult now. I’ve gotta figure this out for myself.

“OK. What is the movie about?”

“Oh! It’s so beautiful, Christian. Such great music! You’ll like it.

“It’s about this prince called Karl, who is sent off to the university in Heidelberg to learn how to socialize. He makes friends there and falls for Kathie, the barmaid. The two are soul mates, but when the king is at his deathbed, he…”

“Don’t tell me the whole movie, Anna!”

“No. No spoilers. You’re right.” — she smiles heartily, poking his nose.

“I still can’t believe you had me go to MacDonald’s!! That’s it. Tomorrow I’m taking you on a proper date. Somewhere nicer. Gosh!”

“But the salad is delicious. You’ll see!”

MV5BMTUzZWI4OTUtMjcyYS00NjZlLThjNTgtNmNlOWUyZjEzMjA0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMDMxMjQwMw@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,772,1000_AL_

The movie starts. They eat, laugh and 🎶 drink the rest of the champagne. She sings along a little. They pause the movie to take the food away.

They chat, smile, laugh, hug, cuddle. It feels sooooo warm and nice. They play the movie again. They look at each other and start kissing passionately. Things heat up. They pause the movie for some loving. Then, he envelops her to chat a little more, while stroking and kissing her hair and her cheeks.

“I’m still hungry, Anna! Do you have anything light for dessert? Where are those grapes you keep promising, huh?”

“Oh, yes. We still haven’t had the grapes!”

They sit up on her bed and he mouthfeeds her, teasingly. Touching the cold fruit first against different parts of her hot skin. Mmmm. Looking at her adoringly.

Drink! Drink! Drink! To lips that are red and sweet as the fruit on the tree?! — She smiles at the thought.

After a while, he is asleep – the poor guy is still fighting his terrible cold – but Anna wants to finish watching the movie. She presses play.

She cries – alone – during the most emotional scenes. During the song I’ll Walk with God.

So beautiful!

A prince has a beautiful romance before he must choose between his country and his own happiness…? Noooo! So sad! I need to cry some more…

The next day Anna is looking thoughtful again and Christian asks her why.

“Oh, Christian. It’s the movie.”

“Oh? I fell asleep. Did you finish it? Naughty! I wanted to finish it with you.”

Giving up personal happiness for duty?

“Maybe it’s better that you didn’t. It’s so beautiful, and yet so sad!”

“It’s just a movie, Annita. Don’t be sad.” — He hugs her.

Obs. Premonition? Please, no!

DRINKING SONG (aka DRINK, DRINK, DRINK)
From the Broadway Operetta "The Student Prince" (1924)
(Sigmund Romberg / Dorothy Donnelly)

Chapter 77 – Tea with Milk

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Tuesday, 23 February 2016.

Breakfast

The tea water is almost boiling in the traditional kettle Anna has over her stove. She decided against having an electric one in her new home. Time to switch it off. There.

Happy sigh. What a night!

Breakfast is on the table, and Anna discovers just how hard it is to wake Christian up.

“I’m not a morning person. Let me sleep five more minutes!” — He moans adoringly.

Little kiss on his head and she wakes him up with a warm hug and some teasing fifteen minutes later. Now, they are sitting at her long table for breakfast. She likes visitors, lots of friends at once at her place, so she bought herself a table for up to ten people.

“Tea with milk?”

“Yes, please. Thank you for letting me stay the night. Sorry I’m sick. I haven’t been at my best lately. Did you sleep well, Anna?”

“Oh, I slept very well. Happy!” — she smiles sweetly at him — “It’s amazing how perfectly we fit in that narrow bed. Who would have thought??”

“Yes, it was made for us. And I like your cold wall against my back to cool me down.”

“Ooohh, that’s your secret! Yeah, about the heat. Your hellish fever the first night!? You were burning and both of us were waking up to drink water all night long. Even I had a dry throat!

“I think I’ve figured it out now, Chris. It was that veggie soup of mine! I added sooo much garlic, ginger and celery that it must have caused all that thirst. I’m not a great cook, I’ll admit as much.”

“Yes, must have been that! The spices were hot. But the soup was delicious,” he reassures her.

Plo-plim!

“Oh Christian, I managed to get us a sauna slot for tonight. Here on the seventh floor. Would you like to join me?”

“Only if we can run naked outside!”

“Haha. Maybe someday.”

“Yes, I’d love the sauna. And the naked running…! This is Finland, after all, isnt’t it? So…….. you want to see me again after night two? You were so quiet and mysterious at the restaurant! Plotting Anna. Giving me that look.”

“Of course I want to see you.” — She laughs.

Then, feeling a little more vulnerable, where is this sweet voice coming from? I didn’t know I had it in me to be this feminine, “It’s nice to hang out with you, Christian. Especially when you’re less private. You are adorable and warm. And you’ve got the best hugs and touches… It feels as though I get a glimpse into your soul when you open up.”

He holds her hand over the breakfast table.

“Oh. I don’t mean to be private. You can ask me anything.”

“OK…?” — Anna wonders what she should ask at this point.

“Sometimes a guy needs prompting,” he adds.

“I like joking and laughing, but I love deep conversations. I want to know who Christian really is. Your hopes and dreams, vulnerabilities and fears. Innermost thoughts.”

“You sound like a shrink!” — both of them laugh — “I’ve got all those things. I’m human after all.”

“I’m sure. And I’ll feel honored if I can get a glimpse into that. Thanks for the pizza, the walk and your jacket. I got home safely without freezing!”

“You’re welcome… I find it easier to open up with soft lightning, good wine, music. I like to be relaxed. And you have made me very relaxed and at home here.” — he kisses her hand — “It’s good to talk in bed too, where it’s more intimate. Otherwise I feel like I’m in an interview. My problem, I know. Hahaha. Why don’t people have interviews in bed?? Defense down.”

“You’re impossible, Chris! Maybe you’re onto something there… But there would be a lot of lawsuits! Haha. Mmm. Now I know where to do all my investigations!”

She goes around the table and sits on his lap.

“And about those girlfriends and marriage again. Don’t get me wrong. I had fun. But it’s not for me,” he tells her.

“What is not for you?” Huh!?

“Being single.”

“Ah, OK. I’ll tell you… It does feel that you are at your best when hugging, kissing and being really sweet!” — She kisses his short-trimmed hair.

“I love that, Anna. I need that. I like to love. And to be close to someone.

“I realize you know so little about me. And google is not very helpful! It won’t show you my heart. Remember, that you’re not a mind reader, Anna!” — He looks inquisitively into her eyes.

“Well… I’m very intuitive, as you’ll see.”

“You can google some half-marathons of mine and you’ll find something. Those were the days – I miss South Africa! Want to go back to being at my health peak.”

Plo-plim!

“Look at this weak belly!”

She touches it — “Aww… I like it, Christian! Very cuddly to sleep against…”

Plo-plim! Plo-plim! Plo-plim!

“That will change! It will have to go!”

“Well, only if you want to and you think you’ll feel more energetic. I want to lose some weight, too. Summer is coming and we have to get into bikini shape!”

“Maybe for my villa in Spain? You’ll love it. It’s so chill!”

Plo-plim!

“Sorry for that. I’ll put my phone on silent mode. Wait.” — She reaches for her iPhone.

“Oh… Look at all those Tinder notifications. Popular, Anna!!”

“No…”

“Yes, they were popping up all night long while you were sleeping.” — He teases her some more.

“Seriously? Haha……. About Spain, let’s see if I’ll ever be invited again. We’ll talk about it later. Look, it’s almost 12. Are you going to your hotel to check out soon?”

“Yes, I’ve gotta rush. These were the two most expensive hotel nights I’ve ever paid for. A room just for storing my suitcase! Humpf.”

“Haha. What a waste! But I’m glad you stayed here with me.” Maybe he doesn’t realize it just yet – though she’s tried to show him what kind of person she is – but he is the first man ever to spend a night with her – two whole nights – with the exception of her husband. This is such a huge step for me. It takes a lot of trust!

“Me, too. Though you haven’t given me that tattoo you promised me yet, Annita.”

“Well…. You did lose the Ingenious game. Let’s see if you’ll earn your tattoo later!”

“See you at the sauna then?”

“We have ourselves a date, Christian!”

“Well, I got lucky! Come here, you.” — He kisses he fully on the mouth and she melts into his embrace.

Obs. Can life really, really, reeeaaally feel this sweet?? I’m probably just dreaming. Pinch me!

Chapter 76 – The Day After

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Monday, 22 February 2016.

A Little Dark Cloud?

Anna and Christian’s first date and night together turned out to be surprisingly special. So much so that she spent the morning smiling – and writing about it in her diary. Now, he is back at his hotel for work and Anna is taking a nap.

13:52 I’m wondering if there are any games that you have that I know… and to which you can’t make up arbitrary rules!! 😊

14:28 Hi Chris.

Hey. Sorry I gave you a late night.

It was fun!

For me, too.

14:32 Yes, let’s go play more games and watch a movie? I’ll beat you!

In the games…

Haha. Only because you don’t tell me the rules. Where is James Bond? Cute dog. Cute owner.

Lots of good things happening. Have made my business calls.

Getting a tattoo later.

Funny guy!

Anna approves of Christian and feels that there is some potential in this man…

She is on holiday – the sun is shining so bright! And ahhh to be free for the first time in my life! Ready for some loving and some action. Some TLC.

Nonetheless… why has life gotta have lows too, huh? Do you know when a little dark cloud comes out all of a sudden and overshadows your perfect sunshine?

After writing in her diary, she is feeling a little intrigued by something she read about Christian, as she googled him a little earlier. Hmmm. Anna, be smart!

Well, at least I’m going to have a good week.

Minimum.

His part is his job. To prove himself worthy of my trust and interest. But, what’s the hurry? Sometimes frogs become princes… We shall see.

Ops! What if a prince can turn out to be a frog, too??

His choice entirely!

At 4:30, Anna visits her sister and then goes to meet Christian at his hotel reception, as planned. This time the feverish Englishman is there. Sweet.

A nice kiss on the cheek and he says, “Hi pretty one! How was your day? How are you doing? I would have found your home this time. Believe me!”

“Well, I did not want to take the risk of you being two hours late. Again. Haha.”

“Oh, those things never happen twice with me. Don’t worry…

“Anna, I want to take you on a proper date tonight. My turn to treat you. Where do you want to go? Choose your venue!”

“Oh! That’s nice, Christian. Hey… why don’t we make it practical tonight? We are planning on watching a movie and playing a game later, aren’t we? So, instead of going to the city center, let’s have a pizza near my home? Then you can come and give the nurse here a proper visit, Mr. Englishman With A Bad Cold!”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Let’s do that.” — he smiles with warm eyes.

They walk down towards Ruoholahti without holding hands. He is looking nice, smartly dressed, and she is showing him places and sharing little stories about the neighborhood as they walk to Pizzeria Daka by the canal. The place is not fancy at all, but the pizza there is delicious, in Anna’s opinion.

They sit opposite each other. She doesn’t really like the style of his blazer – hmm, it makes him look older – but she does like him…

“Anna, how has your day been? Tell me all about it.”

“Oh, good. Saw my sister, took a nap, wrote a little…”

“Wrote? To your other Tinder matches, huh?”

“No. This week is all yours. Haha. Maybe! Hmmm… Just in my diary.”

Anna is a little serious, more quiet than usual. She’s thinking. A lot.

“I had a great time yesterday, Anna. Thank you for a wonderful dinner.”

“Oh, me too. Thanks for the champagne, Christian! Nice to finally meet you.” — she smiles.

“You are so thoughtful. I hadn’t realized you had that serious side. It looks like you’re plotting!”

“No! everything is OK. I’m just thinking.”

“About what? Would you tell me?”

“Ah, not yet. Someday. Just some things… Never mind. I’ll tell you later.”

“Phew. Good. You are giving me The Look!”

“Yes, I am. But for now, you’ll just have to wonder what it means.” — she laughs, feeling more relaxed.

And he is nodding really quickly. Awww.

“Chris, I love your nodding! Has anyone told you how cute you are when you nod fast?”

“My nodding!?”

“Yes. Have none of your girlfriends told you that?”

“No. That’s hilarious! Must be a Finnish thing.”

“Yeah. It’s adorable! Crazy ladies didn’t tell you.”

“You are the first… Anna, when I like someone, I nod.” — he looks at her affectionately.

During dinner yesterday, Anna had asked him how many serious relationships he had had. He’d gotten married around the age of forty, after all, and then separated three years later, so she wanted to check – lightly – about him possibly being an eternal bachelor.

“Btw, I counted today. I have had 14 girlfriends.”

“14?? That’s a lot!!”

“Well, I had about twenty years for that… Working in the Karoo desert for fourteen… It wasn’t easy to find a wife there. Guess I was just waiting for the right person… Until I grew tired of the whole place. Tired of waiting. I missed Germany! All my friends had families and kids. I went on many dates, met a nice person and proposed after six weeks. Crazy! Everything happened so fast.” — He comments on the story he’s told her before. — “The rest is history. But I’ve never had a shy girlfriend. All crazy!”

“What about me? Am I shy? Am I crazy?” — Anna wants to know.

“You are not shy at all! Crazy…? Hmmm. I am leaning. You do have a wild side.”

“Yes, but I am shy at first. Reserved. But not about being honest. I love honesty… Honesty with love…! Still, it’s good to be the more quiet one for a change. I get to be thoughtful!” — She teases him. — “I get to plot!”

“Hope you’re not plotting your escape!?”

“No……” — She’s laughing now.

“Do guys normally dominate the conversation, Anna? I like to listen. Then be silly. Then serious later.”

“Most guys I know are more quiet than me.”

“Am I quiet? I’m a bit sick. Scared to talk with my girlie voice!!”

“Haha. Don’t worry. It’s funny. Besides, I like playing nurse.”

“And I like to hear you talk.”

Score!

Anna believes a guy should always listen to the woman a little more than talk himself. I want them to see my heart!

“I’m glad that you like to listen, Chris. And happy you make me laugh.”

“Well… I haven’t really made you laugh yet! Laugh until you cry. Best medicine!”

“But you are the one in need of some of that, don’t you see?”

“Yes, Ms. Nurse.”

It wasn’t easy to lose a husband after twenty years. I like this guy so much already. What if I lose him, too? I don’t deserve that. Can I take more heartbreak already??

She gets more talkative now. They keep chatting and laughing as they have the pizza. Her mood is finally on the rise again.

“Did you like the drawing I made of you, Anna? Are you going to keep it on the wall?”

“Yes, of course! It’s so cool. Can we draw some more tonight, Chris? Please?”

“OK.”

“I think I’m gonna draw on your back. More fun! You’re being a good distraction, Christian. I need that! And lots of hugs. Lots more.”

“Yes, you need more. I agree. Are you going to tattoo my back? You can draw the Brazilian flag there – with your nails!”

“We shall see what I come up with. Shall we go? Lots to do. The games are waiting, the movie, the tattoo.”

“Definitely. Let’s go, Anna.” — As he waits for the payment to go through, he puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her head.

Now they are walking like that, his arm around her shoulders. Awww.

My God! This feels so nice! I’ve missed this! A lot. Just wanted to meet a warm, confident man. She thinks with her heart melting a little. Healing a little. Can this be? Can life be this sweet?? Really? I’m feeling very glad again right now.

“Anna, I liked the pizza, but tomorrow I’m going to take you on a proper date. This place was way too simple. Where do you want to go?”

They stop and kiss affectionately, while good expectations for the night float in the cold wintry air around the canal.

Obs. Any red flags? Maybe not. Besides, I’m not perfect either. And healing feels soooo good!! Oh, let me heal fully. Let me just dive all the way in!

I Ask You One Thing, Dear Readers

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 9 December 2017.

Dear Readers,

The story will continue tomorrow – at least that’s the plan. But tonight, I just want to stop by to honor my cousin Helen.

Beautiful, always fun, always smiling, full of joye de vivre, life and love.

Helen was my close friend since childhood. She came from South America to visit us many times in Finland, last time a year ago. And this July, I was privileged to see her at her home – already battling against her rare, agressive cancer.

She bravely fought all year – with lots of pain, faith, hope, and lots of desire to survive. And the full loving presence of her mom, my godmother, as well as other close family.

Just a few days ago, she sent me and my sister “I love you, cousin” messages, like she always did, on a weekly basis. It was mutual interaction, of course.

That was who she was. Loving. Happy. And always daring.

She passed away yesterday night, in the presence of her most beloved ones, at the age of 34.

Today, hundreds of people are posting smiley pictures of her hugging them, on her FB page. She had hundreds of friends.

Helen, you will be greatly missed! You shone your light and your example will live on with us!

And to you, my reader friends, I’ll just say this:

Life is fleeting!

Let us live to love and smile and extend our helping hand.

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? Whose face do you desire to see last by your deathbed? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

This afternoon, I went to Mr. Ex and Ms. Newbie’s home to have a Xmas meal with them and their baby, our teens, our James Bond and my daughter’s super boyfriend. Mr. Ex had cooked with devotion and everything was delicious. Ms. Newbie was really sweet and I’m happy she gets to enjoy motherhood.

You see, our daughter Kristiina asked for this meal as a Xmas gift, because she loves us all and wants to experience that she has lost none of us – and we can still celebrate important occasions together. It’s important to her, so it’s equally important to us. And life is to be shared…

After that, I’ve been alone at my flat, as Joey is at a party. He called me twice, though, and wanted to talk about Helen, who he loved very much, as well. Tonight, I’ve enjoyed a meditative, sentimental mood, full of memories of her – celebrating her wonderful life to the music of B.J. Thomas.

Full of heartfelt sentiments.

I’m here alone, but I’m OK. In fact, some friends have texted and are doing it right now, too.

I just want to ask you, my reader, wherever you are:

If you’re not alone in the house, go seek out your family member or your friend now. Tell them you love them! Give them a wonderful embrace. NOW! You never know how long you’ll have them. How long you’ll be around. Don’t be sparing with your love. Be brave!

I just wish I could hug certain people tonight. I wish I could rest within the perfect embrace. James Bond will have to do. 🙂

We were made to hug. Don’t be too busy to do what’s important first and what’s urgent in second place.

Glad my parents are coming to Helsinki this week and I’ll go and see my 94 yo Mummo, as well. Glad I’ll spend time with my son tomorrow! Glad I saw Kristiina and her bf today. Glad Mr. Ex is doing OK. Grateful that my beloved sister Sarah lives nearby – and her precious family.

Let’s pray for many blessings over my godparents and surviving cousins!

My love and happy wishes to all of you too, fellow human amigos. Take care! Xx