Chapter 33 – Empanadas de Kebab


Friday, 5 February 2016.


Day 47


🎶 The girls need a break, tonight we’re gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance, we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hang down 🎵


Do I really?


“You look good, Anna.” The surgeon arrives and gives her a hot kiss.

She’s not wearing a dress, high heels… Nor red lipstick. She is looking pretty in her own way, thank you very much.

They go and sit down in the second row of the movie theater. Anna’s sister and niece on her right side. Ümit on her immediate left. And next to him, his daughter and Sabri, her fiancé. All united for the Avant Premiere and the spilling of Ümit’s guts.

A typical date. 😁

Very curious to learn about his life…


The documentary starts. The lights are dimmed and Anna can sense the surgeon’s nervousness.

He grabs her hand for support. It’s cold and he’s shaking like a wet puppy. Poor doggy. She smiles and assures him that it will be alright – pressing his hand affectionately.

In the very first minutes of the show, there’s a scene in which the surgeon’s daughter is assisting him in filling an online dating form. So, right at the start and Anna already discovers about his preferences in women. Funny.

Everybody in the theater laughs heartily during the show. Well done! Talented director.

The documentary portrays him as a strong-willed, stubborn, funny, hardworking man. A loving/controlling father, whose daughter finally moves to Turkey to have breathing space, connect with their relatives there and grow as a person.

Anna can feel how they love each other immensely. She is happy for them.

Reader dear – yes you! No need to tell you much more, because if you’re the curious type, I’m sure you can easily google up this documentary, using just your brain a few key words.

Flashforward to October 2017 and Anna’s at the cottage again, one of her favorite places on Earth.


She calls Ümit from there. She wants to ask for his permission to write about their dates, since he can potentially be recognizable.

“How are you, Anna? he asks with his sexy accent and warm style “Have you remarried?”

“Oh, not yet,”  she laughs “but I did fall in love last year…”

“Really, tell me about it!”

“That’s why I’m calling you, tbh. I’m writing a book…”

“Interesting…” he comments. With a rising, curious, investigative pitch in his friendly voice.

“It’s about the experience of being a woman, a mother, an ex-wife, a teacher, a friend… A vulnerable, yet strong human being. Someone who, though brokenhearted, still has the courage to believe in new love. She needs to deconstruct and reconstruct herself. She just needs to find out who she is now. And she joins Tinder and, voilá, you’re one of her dates. Number 9. Just 46 days after her separation.”

“Wow, you were quick and active!”

“Oh, I met Mr. Boyfriend a few dates after ours. Actually, just a few days after meeting you, as well.”

“Haha. Good. And is he from Finland??”

“Well, you’ll have to read the story to find out. You know how poker-faced, mysterious and slow Finnish guys can be, don’t you? But I won’t reveal anything at this point.

“So… I’ve reached the chapter where it’s time to write about meeting you. And… our dates were so different from the others. Really fun (well, mostly), that I’d rather not change them too much, if that’s OK…?

“You know, I was lonely and I direly wanted some fun that evening. You distracted me. I needed that!”

“Good, good.”

“I can change many details in my writing. For example, if you want I can say you came from abroad to Helsinki for a medical conference. We matched, and you took me to the conference gala as your +1. A gala where you were going to give a speech and receive a prize? What do you say?”

“Hmm. Let me think for a second. Maybe you could just change my name and my city? Now I’m seeing a nurse, but at the time I wasn’t seeing anyone. We were both single, we had a good time. So…”

“Yes, and I want to describe all the positive stuff.”

“Yes. You do that. It’s your story. Write from your heart. Maybe I can proofread before you publish it?”

“Yes. And do send me a Turkish name you’d like? On WhatsApp?”



Anna receives some suggestions to choose from. As well as…


Write briefly about our night ending with talks about religion.

Did it happen? Remind me please. Tell me what you remember and I’ll use some of it. Co-author. 🙂

I remember feeling excited! Let’s meet and reconstruct it all again?

Funny guy! Now I know why I had such a great time with you!


Hmm. I’ll think about it.


Ümit says he could be a gynecological surgeon in the story. What else? Anna emails him the previous chapter and he likes it.  He’s quite flattered and wants nothing changed. I told you he likes the spotlights. Artistic man!


But now, back to Day 47 and our second date…

Ümit is being interviewed on stage after the documentary. He looks pleased. And relieved.

Anna’s sister congratulates him and leaves with her daughter. It’s late. Anna and Ümit walk to the cocktail celebration hand in hand.

There, she meets his people.

This is a very Turkish-South American kind of date. Extended family?? Friends. Ex-wife and her lover! Workmates. The whole bunch.

Bring the kebab already. Empanadas de queso, por favor!

Noisy. Warm.

“Anna, in a couple of years, you will already have raised your teens and we will travel the world together! I’ll buy an apartment in Rio – sea view – and we’re moving in together. OK?”


Hours later, after much kissing and some grabbing, Ümit opens his heart a little. He’s looking a bit sad.

“Anna, I have everything. A career (I’m a good surgeon)! A wonderful daughter. Money. Trips.

“A documentary!

“What’s the meaning of life? Where will happiness come from? Does anything make sense?? What about this big void? What else is there?”

“Oh Ümit.” sigh “Those things are all good. You are so privileged!

“Still, I believe that only God can fill our deepest, biggest void.”

“But I don’t believe in God. Isn’t money the god of this world?”

“Well, are people really fulfilled with money, careers and all that stuff?”


“So there, you see?

“I’ve had lots of problems and suffering in my life. Everyone suffers in different ways sooner or later, sadly enough. I don’t know where I’d be without my faith in God and the strength I get from it. He is the one who fills my void, ultimately.”


“Yes, and if you want, we could pray…”

He closes his eyes, they hold hands and Anna prays with him. For them.

“Anna, it’s late. Let’s sleep now.”

No! She wants to go home and sleep in her own bed. He walks her to her car, like a gentleman.



Day 48


The next afternoon, he calls her up.

“Anna, let’s meet! Let’s spend the day together. I like you!”

She is feeling a little sad. “No, Ümit. I don’t think we’re right for each other.”

“Ah, come on. Let’s make each other company, have some fun!”

“Thank you, but I think we’re looking for different things in life. You want company and I’m looking for a relationship.”

“Eurgh. Why do women always want to define things? Can’t we just have a good time? I could send you a plane ticket. We could travel together. I’ll cook for you!”

“Ümit. I admire you!

“You paint your own house and plant your own apple trees. You cook like a true chef – I’ve heard. You seem to be a very loving father – raised your daughter alone. While studying Medicine in Finland.

“In Finnish!!

“Becoming a good surgeon in a country like this. That’s impressive.

“But… you smoke, you swear, you like to party hard? I think we’re just too different… Besides, I’m a little angry at you!! So… friends?”

“Thank you! Haha. OK, let’s be friends. Yes.”

“And I think you’ve achieved so much! You could find lots of purpose in helping others with what you have to offer.”

They discuss that for a bit and he gets excited. He says he could start a social project to support single dads. I’d be proud of him if he did that!

There’s a time for everything, but Anna believes that if we’ve been given any strengths and special advantages in life, they’re not to just be used for our own benefit alone. We should try to relieve people’s pain with it. Protect the vulnerable. Help the weak. Bless the needy… Make someone’s life a little happier?

Yes, that’s our main purpose in life.


Now, remember the cat?


…You’ll just have to keep reading. 🐱 Yes?

The gory details. Are you curious? Do you want to know?

© 2017 rf

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.


Obs. Only day 47 of does everything happen for a reason?




Chapter 17 – Netflix and Eggs…

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂


Saturday, 30 January 2016.


Day 41


It’s Saturday evening and the kids have left to their dad’s again.

The week with them was lovely. Heart-warming. They all went to school, enjoyed time together at the gym upstairs, watched Friends and talked.

And hugs, lots and lots of them. Naturally!

I think they’re OK. And we have each other.


As planned, Anna focused on them all week, going on zero dates. But… she did chat with Frederick and Christian on a daily basis – during lunch break and such.

The way Englishmen interact is so different. Warm and lively. They’re polite. Communicative. It feels pretty awesome. 🎯

With Frederick, the chats are quite deep. Friendly and versatile. He seems to be a frank and centered person. There’s no talk of meeting up, but their exchange feels soothing. Besides, he’s cute. Maybe we could be friends who are there for each other.

With Christian, on the other hand, it’s always so surprising!

He’s smart, playful, flirty, witty, but in a very gentlemanly way, making Anna laugh all the time.

He seems quite eager to get to know me better.

And women love attention. 😍😍😍


Christian asks questions, comments on her replies. What an endearing guy… And he keeps promising to come to Finland soon.

Hmm. Too good to be true? We shall see.


But……. don’t put all your eggs in one basket, Anna! Nor in two. Haha.

Not yet.

You never know, after all.

And remember you’re free to play the field for the first time in your life. Breathe, sit back, enjoy the flirting, the attention. The cute compliments.

After Mr. Ex, I’d say it’s about time!


It’s snowing outside, and Anna’s feeling really content. It’s one of those rare, special moments. She goes into the freezing balcony and looks out the window. Oh, the glass is a bit dirty. Eurgh! I hate cleaning windows.

Later. I’ll do it one day.

So what, the rest of the flat is in tiptop shape.

She’s taken a shower and is just relaxing in bed, enjoying the weekend over the clean sheets. Perfect. Life is good. There’s nothing better than chilling in bed with your skin against crisp, newly-changed sheets, with a warm eiderdown to cuddle and wrap your feet in. Is there?

Perhaps some Netflix?


Her phone rings. It’s beautiful Kristiina. Calling to ask her what she’s up to. “Oh! Nothing special. Just some Netflix and chill.”

“Mom! Nooooo!!! Don’t say that!” Kris is giggling, partly terrified, partly amused.

“Why? What? It’s cool. My pupils say it all the time. They look happy when they do.” Anna says — “Last Monday I began my lesson by asking them what they’d done over the weekend. ‘I myself just netflixed and chilled’, I told them. They loved it!” by this time, Kris is laughing uncontrollably.

What the heck?

“Mom!! Don’t you know what it means?? Haha. OMG. Joey, come here! Mom… it’s code language. You text somebody to come over for Netflix and Chill. The chill part is sex! The movie is just an excuse. Or the warm-up. Hahaha.”

Now I’m blushing. “Oh, they got me, those little devils” and I’ll never say that again. Thank God for my teens. Phew.


“Haha, ok Kris, noooo! No chilling whatsoever here. Just netflixing. I promise.”

It’s still early evening when Andre sends her a text on Tinder.

So, read about them, aka my next Tinder Dates in the upcoming chapters. Coming to you through WordPress, sponsored by Netflix and…

Absolutely No Chilling (so far).

© 2017 rf



Obs. Day 41 of no chilling.