Chapter 73 – Crush at First Sneeze

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Just Past Midnight, 22 February 2016.

 

Game Time!

 

Ah, where were we?

Yes. Christian loads the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. “My job! You did all that cooking already.”

“Btw, I bought the champagne at the airport – like I promised – to celebrate finally meeting my mysterious Anna! Shall we have a glass tonight?”

“Yes! And, Christian…?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still have some energy left? We could play one of those card games I told you about.” Somehow her voice sounds so feminine and sweet in her own ears. Wow, where is that coming from? I’m such a tough lady!

“Of course. I’m feeling much better now after your delicious veggie soup.” He smiles – looking better indeed.

“Great. So why don’t we sit on the sofa? Have our champagne there?”

 

Christian has been pleasant company for dinner. Anna feels good around him, but thinks he is quite mysterious, a bit like Finnish guys? It’s hard to know what they are thinking…

Just a little bit of flirting since the soup?

He is easy to talk with, nonetheless, and very well-mannered. It surely feels as though they have known each other for a year? Is that how it feels when there’s chemistry?

I should be stronger. Still unsure about this guy. The meal conversation was just OK. Nothing too impressive. He was shy!

But why does it suddenly feel so good again?? I think it’s the good manners, the dishes he’s loaded into the washer.

And… he’s brought champagne to celebrate meeting me in person. A romantic gesture?

The mystery – the game – is a turn on. There is electricity between you, but you just don’t know what’s gonna happen. Or even how much he likes you. 

Anna, you like him, but you want to see if he’ll win you over fully. Keep up – in person – the good work he’s put in through the messages and calls. The challenge is a turn on, too. Did you know that?

OK. Let’s see how he’ll do at my board games. See if he really is smart.

 

Anna switches off the dining table lights. The living room is as not as bright anymore, as they sit on her couch to play Ugh over the wooden antique chest with the added wheels. She informs him he’ll learn the games by playing – because she will tell him the rules as they move along.

He wins the first game, she sits closer to him. Side by side. She wins the next, their legs are touching slightly now. More relaxed and familiar with each other? There is tension in the air – that much I’m certain of.

 

“Atishoo. Aaaatisho. Oh, excuse me!” He goes to the bathroom to blow his nose.

Cute guy! He flew in to see me – with champagne – despite his cold. Oh, Anna! I think you may have a little crush.
.
“Sorry for that. I’m back. So… the game is tied. 1 x 1. One more round? The winner takes it all and I’m gonna beat you again.”
.
“No way you’ll win,” she defies him, with a completely different kind of scoring system she’s keeping in her mind.
.
🎼  We’ll have a good time, baby, don’t you worry
And if we’re still playin’ around, boy, that’s just fine. 🎶 I think!!

 

Sorry, Anna can’t remember who won the challenge. Eurgh.

Oh! Who cares! The games are really fun, but the whole point is obviously just being able to sit very close to each other. You know as much, right?

🎼  Give in this time and show me some affection…
We shouldn’t even think about tomorrow
Sweet memories will last a long, long time  🎶

 

The game ends. They have a laugh and he says something. Whatever – it is not important. Christian stands up to take their glasses back to the kitchen.

“It’s getting pretty late, I should get going,” he tests her.

“Really? Let’s play another game! This one here, Love Letter. I’m on holiday, remember? So there’s no hurry. No alarm clocks for tomorrow,” she tests him back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Please?”

“OK, so let me refill a glass of champagne for us to share. Wow. This is the cleanest fridge I have ever seen.” He stands there, admiring the insides.

“Stop it, you’re just saying that. I haven’t cleaned it for weeks!”

“And you’ve bought grapes!” Christian adds. “Haha. Naughty! But remember I’m the sick one, so you’re gonna do all the mouth-feeding.”

“You’re funny, Christian. That will be dessert for later. If you win!! We shall see.”

 

Love Letter ends and Christian leans back on the couch. She turns towards him and lightly touches his blue SuperDry shirt, complimenting him on his choice of outfit.

He grabs her hand and their fingers intertwine. She smiles. Maybe blushes just a little bit. They say a few things. Anna can’t remember what, but she remembers how she felt with him. The growing desire. His long warm fingers. His mouth.

The flirting is intense now. Finally! Magnetism draws them together, and now they are kissing and kisssing. Amidst the zillion butterflies fluttering their amazing little wings in the air. Zizzzz. This feels so electric. Zizzz.

They look at each other. Zizzzz. Deep gazes. Zizzzz. The desire is so intense. Zizzzz……….

“Anna, you’re so beautiful, sexy girl.” clothes being dropped everywhere.

.
🎼  Let’s get excited, we just can’t hide it
I’m about

Oh boy, I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you

I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you 🎶

🎼  I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can’t get enough
And if you move real slow, I’ll let it go
I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it
I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), and I just can’t hide it (you got me burning up)
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it (yeah)
I’m so excited (how did you get to me?), and I can’t deny, no, no, no (I’ve got to give it up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)I know, I know, that I want you
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), oh boy (you got me burning up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh) Hey, hey I think I like it (yeah)
I’m so excited (how did you get to me?), you got me (I’ve got to give it up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh) Oh, ooh I like it boy
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), oh, you got me burning up (burning up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, ow)  🎶
.

© 2017 rf

.
 
 
Obs. 🎼  (Oh, oh, oh, oh) 🎶
.
I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

 

Chapter 57 – Who I Am?

 

Wednesday, 17 February 2016.

 

Dichotomy.

 

Not the sun – just thy moon?

I’m a lover – I’m beloved.

I am fun, I am old.

Woman, sister, mom and daughter,

I am scared, I am bold.

 

 

I’m not bitter, I am sweet!

I’m a lady,

Bittersweet.

I’m determined, I am flawed,

I am awed by thee.

 

I’m his Ex, I am deep,

I am active, I’m asleep.

I am happy, ugly, heavy.

I just want to leave.

 

I am light, I am dark,

I am gracious, I am marred.

I’m a birdie, I am barred.

I am patient, restless, pretty –

Just thy wild card.

 

North and south,

Kind and blind.

Just a girl,

I’m a friend.

I’m just tired –

I will end.

 

I am loyal, I betray:

I’m a sinner, I’m a saint –

I’m forgiving, I’m forgiven,

Though now drained.

 

Hot and cold (not really)

I’m a teacher, so silly!

I’m a playful mystery…

I am strong, I give up,

Direly need thy hugs.

 

I am human – there you go.

You won’t judge me,

So I’m told.

 

I am crazy, I am biased.

Fired up,

Wise, wired and hooked.

I am Tinderella Anna.

I’m thy secret, open book.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 59 of who am I’s?

 

 

Chapter 52 – Kristiina’s Phone Call

 

Monday, 15 February 2016.

 

Still Day 57

 

Just as Anna is entering her building – less annoyed after the fresh air and the jog – her phone rings.

It’s her daughter, beloved Kristiina.

 

“Hi, sweetheart, how are things over there at dad’s?”

“Oh, mom. I’m so stressed out!” she sobs.

Poor darling dear!

“What’s up? Good that you called me.”

 

“I’m just exhausted. Feeling stressed out and a little down.

“There’s way too much school work! Essays. Normal homework. Exams.

“The school days are soooo long. I come home tired, rest for ten minutes and then study until 1 a.m. I can’t take it anymore.”   she laments.

“Not enough sleep, not enough time for hobbies or exercise. Not enough time for my friends… And now the divorce and two homes. I’m feeling upset. Help?”

 

Eurgh! We stupid adults can’t be happy together and our teens have to suffer the consequences.

Eurgh.

But we tried everything!

 

“Kristiina, my dear, so sorry you’re feeling that way. I understand. I do! Please, always call me and talk it out. Any time.

“OK, mom.”

“What can I say? Is your father there? Can he help you?

“Kris, you know he and I tried everything, right? At least you know we stayed together for as long as we could? For your sake.”

“Oh, mom! I wish you hadn’t. It was horrible to see some of the fights and have so many family holidays ruined. No. It’s better this way. You deserve better. You both deserve more love in your every day.”

“Oh…” I feel the same way.

“Yes, I really wish you had divorced earlier…

“It’s just a little overwhelming right now. I’m exhausted.”

“Kris, I’m glad you called me. Do you want to come over tomorrow? We can have a snack together any time, you know that.” they’ll always be my priority. I’m still raising our teens.

Kristiina promises to come over if she feels the need to.

“Just wanted to talk… It’s good that you and dad accepted my suggestion.”

Recently, she suggested they live two whole weeks at one place before moving to the other parent’s. That way, there’s less packing and moving here and there all the time.

“The new system feels better? You’ve always been wise – we do listen to what you have to say.” Anna smiles.

“I miss you, you know! But it’s nice you send me pictures and messages on WhatsApp every day. And your prom dance is in four days. Wow. You’re going to look so beautiful! I can’t wait to see you.

“Why don’t we look into you studying a bit slower? In Finland you can go through high school in four years. Please consider it. You’d have more time to sleep and meet friends…”

With Kristiina it’s always like that. We have to tell her: study less, sleep more, go party, live a little, have fun. Sweet girl! So responsible.

 

Now where were we?

Back to Christian – the Englishman, of course. The other one’s out for good. Gosh.

 

20:07   Basically it’s free time Sunday and Monday. 😊

21:15   Hi! Good to hear from you. Was just on the phone with my daughter. Maybe I’ll tell you later. Excited to meet you on Sunday. But getting confused with the dates. I guess your work plans keep changing? ☺️  If you want, you can reserve only Sunday and Monday initially. And if we feel we still want to see each other again during that week, then you’ll let me know if any extra time comes up.

21:24   Good evening. 😊 I’m coming to see you Sunday, and free all day Monday and Tuesday morning. If you want to see me… Hope that all makes sense. Sorry for the confusion!!

Still lost.

 

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

Obs. Day 57 was a long, long day.

 

 

Chapter 49 – Christian 1/ Tinder Date #11

 

Sunday, 14 February 2016.

 

Day 56

 

Anna is getting used to sending messages to Christian, Englishman #2, first thing every morning.

8:45   Morning! Slept 10 hours. Gosh, couldn’t take it anymore. My body even started to hurt from the discomfort! Going to work out soon.
For how many days are you staying next week?

Just a rough idea, because I’d like to organize my holiday week. The thing is, the teens will be with their dad. And since I’ll be on holiday and they’ll be on holiday, I know they’ll ask me to do something nice with them. It’s a pleasure for me. But, if I have an idea of the days when you’re available, I can plan special things for my teens, too.

In case we do want to hang out a lot! But having said, let’s feel free not to meet me again after the first time (though I’d love to at least make a friend). Happy Friends’ Day again! It’s today. ☺️

hook – kopio

 

10:44   Good morning and Happy Friends’ day to you too!
10 hours? You really do like sleeping! Beautiful hook! 😊

I’m going to let you know my movements a little later. Still figuring out a few details. Don’t want to take time away from your kids.

10:51   Of course not. Just let me know about your movements this week because then I can plan. My kids care a lot about my needs, and they know I need my own time. As long as I’m also there for them during the week, no problem.

Just yesterday my son was so loving. We were hanging out alone at home and he was leaving and then he stopped everything and said: “Mom, I love you so much! You’re so wonderful. You totally deserve an awesome boyfriend and you will get one in the right moment.”

   They know I’ve been on Tinder dates. At first they thought it was hilarious/ embarrassing, but then they started to get it. They support me even in this. Great teens! 😊

11:27   Wow. Special kids. That’s really amazing. 😊

13:36   Off the top of my head, I am free evening 21st, then all day Tue and Wed. Poss free Wed pm, then business trip 24/25th. Helsinki again, so free morning of 26th.

Back to Germany from 3rd-8th, then back to Helsinki for a week or so. China prob April now.

Hope you’re having a nice day.

15:59   Good to know! I’ll try to make plans around that. ☺️
Just finished watching The Revenant with son. So bloody. But well made.
How’s your day coming along?

16:10   Don’t you feel like you could use an extra warm hearty hug today? I’m kind of more emotional. Valentine’s mode.

But strong girl here, though.
Looking forward to finally meeting you in person on Sunday.  😊

16:28   One more week. I will give you that hearty hug. If you let me. 😊

If you don’t, I may just grab you by force. ☺️ Beware.

17:02  Please do. ☺️ I’m coming on 21st with no plans to work. I’m coming to meet you. 😊 Work starts late Wednesday.

Great.

Need to get to bottom of the tattoo mystery. Among other things. 😉
Any ski lifts nearby? I’d love to see that.

18:09   I mean you on/off one. 😉 Remember you told me how you can’t get off? How you slide backwards and fall?

Hahaha. We could make a day trip. Would be fun!
But are you sure you want to risk me dying before solving the tattoo mystery?

18:10   I’ll solve that one quickly. Then we’ll move on. 😊

Good one! I have to go out now. Speak later?

18:12   Enjoy! Talk soon.

Good to have company on Friend’s day! Especially being a bit emotional today…

What are friends for? Exactly.

I would totally hug you today. You wouldn’t have a choice.

Oh. That would be nice.

Women and their cycles.  😊

18:14  Choice or no choice. 😊 I’m coming at the wrong time then. Anyway, enjoy your day!

 

Anna goes out with another Tinder date – one of those she had booked days ago. Another Christian (but American, this one). Says he’s an ex-police officer, now a counter-terrorist agent lending services to the Finnish government.

He’s strong, good looking.

They go to the Nepalese restaurant in her neighborhood, the same where she’s been with Riku, her blind date.

She has a small soup and he a full-course meal. It’s nice to have company. He gives her a nice French kiss at the end and promises to invite her out for dinner tomorrow. She says she’ll think about it.

 

In the meanwhile, Christian sends Anna a montage and a recording, finally:

19: 43   🇩🇪🇬🇧 + 🇺🇾🇫🇮 = 😊😊☃️❄️🍴🍴🍾🍕🍰⛷️🍷🎲🎲💋

“Hello, only me. Just want to wish you a Happy Friends’ Day.  Hope you’re having a nice day with your loved ones. And, can’t wait to see you seven days from now. Ah, it’s crazy. One week from now. Yeah, really can’t wait. So, have a nice night and get lots of sleep. See you soon!”

19:58   Almost forgot:

20:07   🔥🔥🔥 and 🎆🎆🎼🎹🎬💤💤

21:34   My montage was not as creative as yours.

 

His messages feel more interesting than her date.

 

21:42   Yes it was! 😍

Earlier today, I went running with James Bond, my son’s dog (6 km).

22:15   Loved the montages, especially the double everything.

Great to hear your voice. Really lovely! Tell me more about your German side.

Love and miss this little friendly, playful dog! Look at this picture – how cute!

jb
23:36   Ahhh. He’s cute.

Wonderful. I never had a pet as a child. Apart from goldfish. It killed itself. Love James Bond – what a fun name! You had a good active day, I can see. I walk a lot. More in Helsinki.

23:36   Hopefully you can show me more.

Here’s a tiger I drew with color pencils:

IMG_2402

 

And some more of my art:

Had a box of leather leftover pieces. Created this bag with glue and scissors and sewing, and gave it to mom.

23:39   Wow. I am impressed. Love it. You should be a designer. Our designer!!

 

IMG_2393

So cool. I can see your future.

P.S. I love hugs too.

😊 Wonderful. This one’s not mine, but I love it:

IMG_2395

That’s quite funny. I like it.

It’s very creative, isn’t it?

Yep. Do you know who did it?

It says Terry Border was the artist.

23:44   May I flood your phone with pics like this? You can delete them soon. Otherwise I’ll eat up your memory space.

Please. Flood me. 😊

IMG_2397

This is my daughter’s kind of art!

23:49   A proper baker. 😊 Getting hungry. You are killing me!

She should totally bake wedding cakes.

I wouldn’t resist that.

 

IMG_2398

I love taking pictures, as well. And I love Finland!!

Beautiful!

IMG_2399

I have a nice camera, but have no idea how to use it.

Nowadays I just use my phone.

Yep. Like me. New iPhone takes great pics.

My favorite place in Majorca:

IMG_2400

Looks familiar. V Spanish.

Favorite game (it’s called Ingenious):

IMG_2401

I want to play. I’ll probably win. 😊 Maybe we can play? You have to teach me. Is that in your flat?

No, not my flat. A game night I hold at church, sometimes.

I hope you win! I like to play against smart, competitive people.

Otherwise it’s no fun!

00:01   I always play to win.

After midnight, so 6 days to go. 😊

And the art of selfies. Here you go.

 

Anna sends him a couple of good ones.

 

00:03   Beautiful. 😊

Teach me. I need to learn how to take good selfies. Night night. Thanks for all the pics. 😊 Sweet dreams.

00:05   I’ll teach you. Ah! Where is that smile selfie I asked for? (Sorry for the flood).

I loved the flood.

Had a kind of nostalgic day today.

Keep flooding! 😊

Looking at the kids as small babies, etc.

Lovely pictures. Thanks for sharing.

Ah, yes. Here is chubby me as a baby!

00:07   OMG!

Me. Then my son.

HOW CUTE!!!

Haha.

I told you he looks just like you!!

Definitely mine. 😊

I love all your pictures.

And I guess you have an older sister?
Send me as many pics you want as well. Love them.

Sleep tight! X

00:12   Night night x

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. Day 56 since moving out… And 6 days to go!

 

 

Chapter 46 – Those Little Butterflies

 

Thursday, 11 February 2016.

 

Day 53

 

9:47   Good morning! Hope you slept well and completed your project. Don’t forget, I need to check your work. 😊

Struggling to get up today. It’s cold here.

 

Anna looks forward to receiving Christian’s messages every the morning – the Englishman with the upgraded Hugh Grant’s voice.

Somehow, he always makes her feel good. That is, since they matched on Day 36.

Very good. In comparison to all hundreds of other chatters.

Now that I think of it, I think he’s the person I’ve been chatting with the most, so far. Almost twenty days!

So much for my own rules. Typical!

Christian’s so interactive with his messages. Always comments and always asks. Shows undying interest.

Learn Finns. Learn!!!

 

Ahhh – I can’t believe we are really going to meet soon.

But will I like him?? What if he turns out to be a weirdo in person??? Another nutjob.

I’ll just have to find out.

In that case, he’ll just be an extra story to tell my friends. I can live with that.

Smelly? Hmm. Too slim? Badly dressed. Annoying? All his teeth missing. I’d better ask for a smile selfie! Yes. That’s what I’ll do.

He says he doesn’t smoke…

1,82m. What does a long-armed embrace feel like, I wonder…?

Is he a good kisser, you think? His lips are awfully thin. Even for a man. But he looks soooo friendly and cute in his South African pic. Dreamy.

11 days.

He’s my exception — she smiles at the thought and I’m growing really fond of our chats.

 

10:11   Morning. 😊  Today I waited to hear from you first – but I knew you’d write. I’m not sure if a pic of my work would make any sense. I think you have to see it in person to understand. 😉

Cold there? Brrrr.

The heating system is very good in Finland – not like you suffering over there. My flat was so warm yesterday night that I had to shed more and more of my clothes. When I realized it, I’d been sewing in my underwear for an hour. Haha!

10:12   Hahaha! And that’s why you didn’t take a picture! In case I’d catch you in your undies! 😊 That’s funny.

Still cold here so staying under duvet for a little longer. Now I have a nice mental picture to warm me up. 😊

Yep. Count on me to be unsystematic. Unorthodox, hard-working, out-of-the-box. Clumsy! Yet efficient. 😊

Cute and hot, too. Or so I’ve been told. Haha.

10:13   Send some of that heat over here please, your clumsy-yet-efficientness. Hope you were careful with the needle!! 😊

 

He’s a darling. At least virtually…!

I’m curious about this guy.

Hmm. We shall see.

 

Carinhoso – that will be your new nickname! 😊

What does it mean again? I think google didn’t explain it to me well enough.

Happy you get to stay in bed. I wish. Feeling tired here and there’s a long day ahead. Have to find time for a power nap today.

Oh! It means affectionate one (a caring loving person/someone who likes caressing and touching). It makes more sense in Portuguese, as it has a wider meaning.

(I spent some years near the border between Brazil and Uruguay, so I speak both Spanish and Portuguese……. And many other languages! 😊)

You language computer!! 😊😊 For me, only English and German. And a little bit of Spanish. Studied French, but can’t remember it that well.

Not bad! Hats off.

Ah yeah: friends, relatives, workmates and especially lovers can be referred to as carinhoso – if they are, of course. 😊

I have a feeling that you are…

Ops. Gotta go teach some more now.

In case we don’t chat anymore today, have a wonderful day!

10:32   You too! Thanks for the nickname. 😊  I hear the snow is back. Well… a little.

 

A little later, Anna sends him a picture of the lovely wintry countryside view from her classroom window.

11:38   Looks lovely! Must be very peaceful. Are you under the teacher’s desk taking those coffee power naps you like so much?? 😊

13:47   Oh, had no time for that today. 😦 🙂

So, lots of work there?
Looking forward to the 21st and to enjoying our cool friendship in person…
So nice to be on my way home already. Shorter day today.

14:02   Hey there. On my way to Berlin for a work meeting at the moment. And then the doctor’s. 

Looking forward to seeing you very soon. 😊 Glad you have a short day at work.

Cool friendship? I like that. 😊

14.29   Maybe more…… It takes two to tango, right?
Who knows if we’ll like each other in person? 😊
At least this cool friendship.

 

He asks if he can call. She says yes. The phone rings and the chat is warm and… ahhh, wonderful.

What a nice man.

I wonder if…

And those little butterflies in Anna’s stomach have slowly but surely started to flap their tiny wings. Should she be careful? Protect her heart? Be smart…

Yes.

Eurgh. But I’m dying for some carinho here.

From a guy who earns it first.

 

14.59   Always so fun to talk to you, sweet guy! Take care. Loving your voice. Maybe you could send a recording for me to listen to before falling asleep every night. 💤🔥 Please?

15:01   Hahaha. You sure?

15:02   Yes. I’ll be happy if you do.

I can’t promise. But I’ll see what I can do.

15:03   I’m being tortured here.

In a good way?

Not so good. But… 🎶  🇺🇾 + 🇬🇧 = 🇫🇮 💓.

😊 What’s that first one? Music?

 And in eleven days: 🇩🇪 🛫 🇫🇮 🛬 🍝 🍽️🍷 🍽️.

Haha Love it.

Maybe after that 🏠 🔑 🎬 ☕ 🍓  💏 🎶🔥 ?

Someday 🛫 🇪🇸 🏖️? We shall see…!

OK. Not bad. Wow. I have some ideas.

15:12   Good to have ideas. Send me your own charade charming man?

That made my phone crash!! Must have over-heated.

Overheating is good, right? For a fire guy!

15.14   Absolutely!! Need more fire in my life.

Who doesn’t. 😞😕

15:30   You should be power napping.

I’m in the doctor’s waiting room now. But I’m good with needles. As are you! Tattoos and sewing. Piercings?

Hahaha. Let’s keep some of the mystery.

 

Anna wakes up feeling extra excited. She’s going out now with her daughter Kristiina to pick up the prom dress and have a chick-chat-snack.

 

21:20   How’s your evening going?

21:40   I got home a little earlier. Berlin is tiring. I love it, anyways. Lived there for 10 years but won’t live there again. Great to visit.

How are you all doing there?

But for tourism with no hurry, must be lovely, surely?

Good to know oneself. What you want and don’t want. It makes decision-making  easier.

We’re fine here. Kris and Joey entertained and happy.

21:44   Because you are entertaining! I bet they love being back with you.

Yes, about knowing ourselves… Comes with age I guess.

Not that I’m old!!!

21:45   Thanks. They like the home I was able to make for them. Home is where the heart is…

You’re not old! Perhaps even a little young for me. 😊

 

Pedro is two years older than me, but always looked ten years younger than his own age. More fit. Made me feel that maybe I’d earn his love if I lost 10kg. Just maybe!

For the first ten years of marriage, he’d look irritably at Anna whenever she had a small piece of cake at parties. From the first honeymoon breakfast onwards.

Eurgh. Now I want someone as different as possible. In every way. And I don’t really trust Brazilian Don Juans right now. They may be exciting, but… Always gaping at any moving lady targets.

 

Talking about knowing yourself, I was reading a newsletter article about ‘Dating Again’, and it kind of had three tips.

21:48   Beware the Englishman?? 😊  Half-English. 😊

(1) Not loving yourself… (the need to forget the past, blah blah)

Actually, it was about the three mistakes people make when going back to the dating world.

What’s the second? And third.

Hahaha! I may not want to beware of him 😊. But, let’s see if he’ll deserve me.

Just teasing you.

I’m actually counting the days to meet this potentially wonderful man.

Numbers 2 and 3 you can read for yourself – it drew my attention because of all the (respectable) Tinder dates I’ve been having.

 

tips

 

21:52  I agree. Very true.

Yeah… Good advice.
Just wanted to let you know that at least online you seem to have many very agreeable traits that I like. I’m already grateful to be exploring this. So thank you from my heart! 😊

   And Happy Valentine’s Day – which in Finland is called Friend’s Day!

Hyvää ystävän päivää.

21:57   That’s very kind. And thank you! Happy Friends’ Day to you too! 😊 X

It is going to be my first Valentine as a single woman – since the age of 17.
I’m going out with my son and I’m sure it’s going to be fun!
What are your plans?

22:00   Wow. Did you usually celebrate? I normally do. Had a girlfriend once who said she couldn’t be bothered but I always made an effort as I didn’t believe her. Thought it was a test. It wasn’t until years later I realized she really meant it!

No plans.

My ex wasn’t romantic.
90% of the dates we ever had in the last 15 years or so I had to plan and execute myself. That’s how it felt and how I remember it, any way.
Very unmotivating.

I love love.

22:03   I love any reason to hug, kiss, fire up, express appreciation, chat, look eye in the eye, laugh and just be very, very happy.
  What about you?
I love sex too.

Which I think was clear front the fire up. 😊

Did you use to make the effort just for her or do you enjoy those things as well?

22:17   I think it’s fun and just a nice thing to do. Probably different for a guy. We have different emotions. But I like your description of romantic. 😊

22.19  👍

Didn’t make an effort because it was expected. I enjoy those things too.

All of them.

Perfect. 😊

 

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. Day 53 of little flapping wings.

 

 

Chapter 44 – For the Love of Writing

 

Wednesday, 10 February 2016.

 

Day 52

 

Anna loves chatting – and writing in general. When she was a teenager, she used to have over two hundred pen pals. It was so exciting to go to her mailbox after school to retrieve up to ten-twelve letters a day from all over the world.

Such joy and excitement. Emotions.

Every single day.

Her boyfriend at the time was a long-distance relationship, and they too sent each other fun, romantic letters for three long years. Drawings, gifts, books. Paper kisses and longing.

Anna’s father, Marcos, is the one responsible for teaching her the love of reading and writing.

You see, in her childhood her family used to move almost every year – from city to city and country to country. Dad, always the affectionate artistic type, didn’t want his kids to become estranged from their relatives and best friends, and so he taught them all the joys of letter writing when Anna was about 9 years old, and her sister Sarah, 10.

She recalls the day when dad came into their room, holding the beautiful letter paper their mom Riitta had bought. They were living in New Jersey at the time.

 

“First, write the city and the date on the upper right-hand corner, you see? Like this.

“Good. Well done, my darlings.

“Then you start with ‘Dear Y, how are you?’ Always tell them how you are doing, as well.

“Sarah, watch your handwriting! You’ll want people to understand what you’re saying. There, that’s better.

“Now, you can proceed to share nice things about your life, your pastimes, school and trips. Tell your pen pal how you felt during certain events, not just about the things you’ve been doing. It makes the reading experience more intense and interesting.

“It’s also very important never to forget to ask them about their life. Be curious and show interest. That’s how you make friends and, above all, keep your old ones.

And with a little kiss on their heads “I’ll proofread your letters when you’re ready and then you’ll go with your mom to the post office.

“Ask me if you need any help, sweethearts.”

 

Day 17. Grownup Anna has just been on Tinder for a couple of days when she matches with a guy named Tino. Remember? Their chats are so intense and Anna’s feeling very excited to meet him… Unfortunately, he cancels the day before their coffee date, becoming her Tinder disappointment #1.

That is when she reads some advice online, and decides to stop chatting for days and days before meeting up with her dates.

 

Day 36, and along comes Christian.

Remember him? One of the Englishman? The one Anna matched with after she decided to change her criteria about who to swipe yes to on Tinder.

Yes, that CEO of a new start-up in Finland who promised to come from Germany soon to meet her in person.

The one with the long, manly nose. — She smiles at the thought.

Not knowing if she’ll really ever meet him or not, she decides to make an exception and keep in touch with this guy. They’ve been chatting on a daily basis for over two weeks now.

And every day the chats grow warmer and more fun.

They’re intriguing.

Christian has become the exception to her rule.

 

10:01   Morning!! 😊 Just reading your messages. I see some selfies up there! 😊
Very frosty here. Hope you slept well. Any dreams?
It’s a nice tattoo. Discreet. 😉 Feminine and sexy.

10:11   Hi Christian…

 

© 2017 rf

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. Day 52 since moving out of Mr. Ex’s home, their last home together.

 

 

Chapter 40 – I Simply Remember

 

Monday, 8 February 2016.

 

Day 50

 

And the lesson goes on.

 

“My dear 8C, now that you’re all awake… Your homework was to think about your favorite pastimes and such, writing a list with at least ten items. Who has done that?”

Hands go up everywhere.

Anna shows the class a video – My Favorite Things, from The Sound of Music – one of her favorite movies. And the boldest of her pupils sing along with her.

“🎶 I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad!”

Ah… Nice.

“Encouraging, isn’t it?” she smiles.

“So, today your task is to be creative. Take your list of favorite things and transform it into beautiful art. A poster, a video, a play. The sky is the limit. If you’re not good at drawing, write a colorful list that will look great on the wall.

“You can also draw stick men, like I did.”

Anna told Christian (one of the nice Englishmen from Tinder), that she’s been working on this theme at school. He insisted she share her list with him – wouldn’t take no for an answer. So endearing! So she drew it for him.

How Anna loves feeling inspired with the silliest of things!

Now, she projects the images she drew on the smart board, hoping to ignite her pupils’ creativity. First, she wants them to speak up and practice their English.

“Hey look, here are my very own favorite things. Can you tell me what they are?”

 

ft1 – kopio

ft – kopio

ft2 – kopio

ft3 – kopio

 

Chatting with Chris has been so lovely. A mix of witty, smart, gentlemanly and flirty. Guys are a mystery, but it’s gradually getting warmer.

She drew him a couple of extra (burning hot) pastimes on the back side. 😍

Completely scratched over now, of course!

 

Hmm. We shall see…

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 50 since moving out. Warm beginnings!

 

 

Chapter 33 – Empanadas de Kebab

 

Friday, 5 February 2016.

 

Day 47

 

🎶 The girls need a break, tonight we’re gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance, we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hang down 🎵

 

Do I really?

 

“You look good, Anna.” The surgeon arrives and gives her a hot kiss.

She’s not wearing a dress, high heels… Nor red lipstick. She is looking pretty in her own way, thank you very much.

They go and sit down in the second row of the movie theater. Anna’s sister and niece on her right side. Ümit on her immediate left. And next to him, his daughter and Sabri, her fiancé. All united for the Avant Premiere and the spilling of Ümit’s guts.

A typical date. 😁

Very curious to learn about his life…

 

The documentary starts. The lights are dimmed and Anna can sense the surgeon’s nervousness.

He grabs her hand for support. It’s cold and he’s shaking like a wet puppy. Poor doggy. She smiles and assures him that it will be alright – pressing his hand affectionately.

In the very first minutes of the show, there’s a scene in which the surgeon’s daughter is assisting him in filling an online dating form. So, right at the start and Anna already discovers about his preferences in women. Funny.

Everybody in the theater laughs heartily during the show. Well done! Talented director.

The documentary portrays him as a strong-willed, stubborn, funny, hardworking man. A loving/controlling father, whose daughter finally moves to Turkey to have breathing space, connect with their relatives there and grow as a person.

Anna can feel how they love each other immensely. She is happy for them.

Reader dear – yes you! No need to tell you much more, because if you’re the curious type, I’m sure you can easily google up this documentary, using just your brain a few key words.

Flashforward to October 2017 and Anna’s at the cottage again, one of her favorite places on Earth.

Writing.

She calls Ümit from there. She wants to ask for his permission to write about their dates, since he can potentially be recognizable.

“How are you, Anna? he asks with his sexy accent and warm style “Have you remarried?”

“Oh, not yet,”  she laughs “but I did fall in love last year…”

“Really, tell me about it!”

“That’s why I’m calling you, tbh. I’m writing a book…”

“Interesting…” he comments. With a rising, curious, investigative pitch in his friendly voice.

“It’s about the experience of being a woman, a mother, an ex-wife, a teacher, a friend… A vulnerable, yet strong human being. Someone who, though brokenhearted, still has the courage to believe in new love. She needs to deconstruct and reconstruct herself. She just needs to find out who she is now. And she joins Tinder and, voilá, you’re one of her dates. Number 9. Just 46 days after her separation.”

“Wow, you were quick and active!”

“Oh, I met Mr. Boyfriend a few dates after ours. Actually, just a few days after meeting you, as well.”

“Haha. Good. And is he from Finland??”

“Well, you’ll have to read the story to find out. You know how poker-faced, mysterious and slow Finnish guys can be, don’t you? But I won’t reveal anything at this point.

“So… I’ve reached the chapter where it’s time to write about meeting you. And… our dates were so different from the others. Really fun (well, mostly), that I’d rather not change them too much, if that’s OK…?

“You know, I was lonely and I direly wanted some fun that evening. You distracted me. I needed that!”

“Good, good.”

“I can change many details in my writing. For example, if you want I can say you came from abroad to Helsinki for a medical conference. We matched, and you took me to the conference gala as your +1. A gala where you were going to give a speech and receive a prize? What do you say?”

“Hmm. Let me think for a second. Maybe you could just change my name and my city? Now I’m seeing a nurse, but at the time I wasn’t seeing anyone. We were both single, we had a good time. So…”

“Yes, and I want to describe all the positive stuff.”

“Yes. You do that. It’s your story. Write from your heart. Maybe I can proofread before you publish it?”

“Yes. And do send me a Turkish name you’d like? On WhatsApp?”

 

Ding!

Anna receives some suggestions to choose from. As well as…

 

Write briefly about our night ending with talks about religion.

Did it happen? Remind me please. Tell me what you remember and I’ll use some of it. Co-author. 🙂

I remember feeling excited! Let’s meet and reconstruct it all again?

Funny guy! Now I know why I had such a great time with you!

Seriously!

Hmm. I’ll think about it.

 

Ümit says he could be a gynecological surgeon in the story. What else? Anna emails him the previous chapter and he likes it.  He’s quite flattered and wants nothing changed. I told you he likes the spotlights. Artistic man!

 

But now, back to Day 47 and our second date…

Ümit is being interviewed on stage after the documentary. He looks pleased. And relieved.

Anna’s sister congratulates him and leaves with her daughter. It’s late. Anna and Ümit walk to the cocktail celebration hand in hand.

There, she meets his people.

This is a very Turkish-South American kind of date. Extended family?? Friends. Ex-wife and her lover! Workmates. The whole bunch.

Bring the kebab already. Empanadas de queso, por favor!

Noisy. Warm.

“Anna, in a couple of years, you will already have raised your teens and we will travel the world together! I’ll buy an apartment in Rio – sea view – and we’re moving in together. OK?”

 

Hours later, after much kissing and some grabbing, Ümit opens his heart a little. He’s looking a bit sad.

“Anna, I have everything. A career (I’m a good surgeon)! A wonderful daughter. Money. Trips.

“A documentary!

“What’s the meaning of life? Where will happiness come from? Does anything make sense?? What about this big void? What else is there?”

“Oh Ümit.” sigh “Those things are all good. You are so privileged!

“Still, I believe that only God can fill our deepest, biggest void.”

“But I don’t believe in God. Isn’t money the god of this world?”

“Well, are people really fulfilled with money, careers and all that stuff?”

“No.”

“So there, you see?

“I’ve had lots of problems and suffering in my life. Everyone suffers in different ways sooner or later, sadly enough. I don’t know where I’d be without my faith in God and the strength I get from it. He is the one who fills my void, ultimately.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and if you want, we could pray…”

He closes his eyes, they hold hands and Anna prays with him. For them.

“Anna, it’s late. Let’s sleep now.”

No! She wants to go home and sleep in her own bed. He walks her to her car, like a gentleman.

 

 

Day 48

 

The next afternoon, he calls her up.

“Anna, let’s meet! Let’s spend the day together. I like you!”

She is feeling a little sad. “No, Ümit. I don’t think we’re right for each other.”

“Ah, come on. Let’s make each other company, have some fun!”

“Thank you, but I think we’re looking for different things in life. You want company and I’m looking for a relationship.”

“Eurgh. Why do women always want to define things? Can’t we just have a good time? I could send you a plane ticket. We could travel together. I’ll cook for you!”

“Ümit. I admire you!

“You paint your own house and plant your own apple trees. You cook like a true chef – I’ve heard. You seem to be a very loving father – raised your daughter alone. While studying Medicine in Finland.

“In Finnish!!

“Becoming a good surgeon in a country like this. That’s impressive.

“But… you smoke, you swear, you like to party hard? I think we’re just too different… Besides, I’m a little angry at you!! So… friends?”

“Thank you! Haha. OK, let’s be friends. Yes.”

“And I think you’ve achieved so much! You could find lots of purpose in helping others with what you have to offer.”

They discuss that for a bit and he gets excited. He says he could start a social project to support single dads. I’d be proud of him if he did that!

There’s a time for everything, but Anna believes that if we’ve been given any strengths and special advantages in life, they’re not to just be used for our own benefit alone. We should try to relieve people’s pain with it. Protect the vulnerable. Help the weak. Bless the needy… Make someone’s life a little happier?

Yes, that’s our main purpose in life.

 

Now, remember the cat?

Well…

…You’ll just have to keep reading. 🐱 Yes?

The gory details. Are you curious? Do you want to know?

© 2017 rf

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

Obs. Only day 47 of does everything happen for a reason?

 

 

Chapter 26 – Ding! Plo-Plim. Ding! Ding!

 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016.

 

Day 45

 

Ding!

Plo-Plim!

Anna feels enthusiastic every time her phone dings.

Ding!

 

Yay…! Connecting with new people has been so interesting…

Sharing ideas, discussing big subjects, some intellectual topics, too. Being a little flirty at times (of course)! It’s all novel stuff, so our Anna can’t help but get all wired up.

There’s a time for everything, and this is the first time that Anna is free, you see? Free to explore, play the field – free to rediscover herself. Who am I now?

I don’t know, but this sure is fun! Yay.

Ding!

 

Don’t get me wrong, my dearest reader. When someone conquers her passionate heart, she’s ever the loyal and adoring type – aren’t twenty years proof enough, huh?

It’s exciting, too, being that passionate. And she’s undoubtedly a daydreamer.

Ah…!

Plo-Plim!

 

Yet, her personality type adores to explore.

Excitement, creativity, laughter, flexibility, sensations, curiosity, energy, drama, novelty intelligence, feelings, fun and unpredictability. That’s what I’m talking about, baby. That’s the kind of stuff that delights her.

Ah…!

Ding!

 

Besides, I’ll let you in on a little secret now.

Anna has yet to understand that about herself, but truth be told, our Anna’s a bit dopamine-driven. She needs a couple of challenges from time to time to ignite her adventurous problem-solving mode.

Yes, she even needs a tiny little bit of drama in her love life. Otherwise she’ll feel bored.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 45 since moving out.

Chapter 25 – Justin, Dustin’

Ding! Christian’s sending me messages on Whatsapp! Aww. And Riku! Plo-Plim.

 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016.

 

Day 45

 

You look out the window and it’s freezing, but Finnish apartments are always warm and nice in winter about 21°C.

Anna’s wearing her favorite pj’s: a navy blue tank top with pink text, and flannel shorts with a tartan pattern. So comfy! She’s braiding her hair loosely, ending in a pony tail slightly to the right side.

Hmm, time to get my highlights redone.

Tonight, Anna’s just chilling. Strolling around her house, dusting off here and there, feeling good. Headphones on she’s swinging to Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself, playing on her iPhone.

🎶 You think you broke my heart, oh, for goodness’ sake
You think I’m crying on my own. Well, I ain’t.
And I didn’t wanna write a song
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care.
I don’t,
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I’ll be movin’ on
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back
Maybe you should know that…

…Didn’t see what’s going on
But now I know
I’m better sleeping on my own

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself 🎶

So melodic — she likes the songs her pupils suggest — Yeah… moving on. That’s the spirit — and she’s humming along.

OMG, that reminds me. Meeting up with the Norwegian god tomorrow! And I still haven’t researched how to say no to a second date.

Anna googles “Let him down easy,” hitting the search button.

Articles, forums… Oh, a video! Here we go. Let me listen to this while I have a snack. Just in case I need it tomorrow.

 

DON’T LIKE HIM? Let him down easy like this (by Matt Boggs)

▶️  “… why would this be important in meeting your man? Because the path to meeting your man… is through the dating process. It’s by going out with people…

“Inevitably, when you give people a chance, you’re going to meet people who are just not a great fit for you.”

You don’t say! 💀🤑🤖👿🤡👺

“Until you end up meeting that person and it just clicks – feels amazing and there’s tons of chemistry.”

Uh, I want that! 🙂 

“…Reframe rejection… to have liberty and freedom to go on more dates…”

Nice.

“…But first, let me explain why this is so important: if you’re afraid of rejecting someone, then you’re not going to go out with a lot of guys who, at first glance, look like, ‘ahhh, I might end up rejecting this guy.’

“But you go out, and you find out that this guy is amazing! This guy blows your socks out!”

My socks!! 😍🤩😍

 

“You see, he’s everything you never knew that you always wanted (to quote a line from Fools Rush In)…

“So, you’re going end up going out on more dates, you won’t be afraid to disappoint them and you’ll be able to reject them in the kindest, most humane way possible.”

Hmm.

“So here’s the key: men respect people who are (1) honest, and who are (2) direct.”

Seriously??! It’s that simple?

“And you want to be absolute. Let me explain. A lot of women like to dance around the topic. They like to hint at things…

“Let me be clear, men don’t speak hint… And letting a guy down easy actually creates more pain through the process than just being honest, being direct and being absolute.”

 

⏸  Wow. I had no idea. I like it when people let me down easy. I can take a hint…

Man, are we different!

OK. I do want people to be objective with me. But still, in a very warm way, giving me their honest reasons. Having a talk about it… Then I don’t feel hurt and it’s easier to move on.

▶️ Oh, gosh! Boggs is telling us not to give guys the reasons!? Haha. That would just be a challenge for the guy to overcome. Or something like that. Interesting…!?

 

“So there’s one thing that nobody can argue, when it comes to calling it quits in any kind of dating experience. It is absolute. That you just don’t feel the chemistry with this person.

“…Two ways that you can reject a man…

“(1) If you’re talking to a guy online:

“‘Hey, thanks so much for contacting me. I’m flattered, but I don’t really feel we are a good fit. You sound like a great guy, and I’m wishing you all the best. Take care.’

“…Great text. Direct, to the point. It’s confident. And you’re wishing them well, you’re being respectful – an open, honest person.”

I like that.

“(2) If you’ve gone out with the guy and it’s face to face on a date (you’re not really feeling it with this guy, but you can tell that he’s going to ask you out on a second date):

“You can simply say, ‘Hey, I really appreciate going out with you tonight. But unfortunately, I’m not feeling the romantic chemistry. You’re an amazing guy, I know you’re going to meet someone really special, and I’m wishing you all the best’.”

Oh, I could have said that to Tapio – he was so sweet. But, I wouldn’t say that to a nutjob. Hmm. Better screen them better from now on.

“…That’s all you need to say. It’s that simple… Understand that it’s just part of the game, no big deal. You’re going to reject people. People are going to reject you. But you’re all gonna live on, and ultimately you’re going to find that special someone and create an extraordinary relationship….”

Hmm. Thanks, Matt! I’ll practice. I’ll try…

Values. Anna believes in self-respect and in treating others with respect, too.

 

Ding!

Yay, Christian’s sending me a Whatsapp message. Aww…

 

Plo-Plim!

And Riku on Tinder.

Plo-Plim!

Ding!

© 2017 rf

 

 

 

Obs. Day 45 since moving out.