Chapter 77 – Tea with Milk

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Tuesday, 23 February 2016.

 

Breakfast

 

The tea water is almost boiling in the traditional kettle Anna has over her stove. She decided against having an electric one in her new home. Time to switch it off. There.

Happy sigh. What a night!

Breakfast is on the table, and Anna discovers just how hard it is to wake Christian up.

“I’m not a morning person. Let me sleep five more minutes!” He moans adoringly.

Little kiss on his head and she wakes him up with a warm hug and some teasing fifteen minutes later. Now, they are sitting at her long table for breakfast. She likes visitors, lots of friends at once at her place, so she bought herself a table for up to ten people.

“Tea with milk?”

“Yes, please. Thank you for letting me stay the night. Sorry I’m sick. I haven’t been at my best lately. Did you sleep well, Anna?”

“Oh, I slept very well. Happy!” she smiles sweetly at him — “It’s amazing how perfectly we fit in that narrow bed. Who would have thought??”

“Yes, it was made for us. And I like your cold wall against my back to cool me down.”

“Ooohh, that’s your secret! Yeah, about the heat. Your hellish fever the first night!? You were burning and both of us were waking up to drink water all night long. Even I had a dry throat!

“I think I’ve figured it out now, Chris. It was that veggie soup of mine! I added sooo much garlic, ginger and celery that it must have caused all that thirst. I’m not a great cook, I’ll admit as much.”

“Yes, must have been that! The spices were hot. But the soup was delicious,” he reassures her.

Plo-plim!

Plo-plim!

 

“Oh Christian, I managed to get us a sauna slot for tonight. Here on the seventh floor. Would you like to join me?”

“Only if we can run naked outside!”

“Haha. Maybe someday.”

“Yes, I’d love the sauna. And the naked running…! This is Finland, after all, isnt’t it? So…….. you want to see me again after night two? You were so quiet and mysterious at the restaurant! Plotting Anna. Giving me that look.”

“Of course I want to see you.” She laughs.

Then, feeling a little more vulnerable, where is this sweet voice coming from? I didn’t know I had it in me to be this feminine, “It’s nice to hang out with you, Christian. Especially when you’re less private. You are adorable and warm. And you’ve got the best hugs and touches… It feels as though I get a glimpse into your soul when you open up.”

He holds her hand over the breakfast table.

“Oh. I don’t mean to be private. You can ask me anything.”

“OK…?”   Anna wonders what she should ask at this point.

“Sometimes a guy needs prompting,” he adds.

“I like joking and laughing, but I love deep conversations. I want to know who Christian really is. Your hopes and dreams, vulnerabilities and fears. Innermost thoughts.”

 

“You sound like a shrink!” both of them laugh “I’ve got all those things. I’m human after all.”

“I’m sure. And I’ll feel honored if I can get a glimpse into that. Thanks for the pizza, the walk and your jacket. I got home safely without freezing!”

“You’re welcome… I find it easier to open up with soft lightning, good wine, music. I like to be relaxed. And you have made me very relaxed and at home here.” he kisses her hand  “It’s good to talk in bed too, where it’s more intimate. Otherwise I feel like I’m in an interview. My problem, I know. Hahaha. Why don’t people have interviews in bed?? Defense down.”

“You’re impossible, Chris! Maybe you’re onto something there… But there would be a lot of lawsuits! Haha. Mmm. Now I know where to do all my investigations!”

She goes around the table and sits on his lap.

“And about those girlfriends and marriage again. Don’t get me wrong. I had fun. But it’s not for me,” he tells her.

“What is not for you?” Huh!?

“Being single.”

“Ah, OK. I’ll tell you… It does feel that you are at your best when hugging, kissing and being really sweet!” She kisses his short-trimmed hair.

“I love that, Anna. I need that. I like to love. And to be close to someone.

“I realize you know so little about me. And google is not very helpful! It won’t show you my heart. Remember, that you’re not a mind reader, Anna!” He looks inquisitively into her eyes.

“Well… I’m very intuitive, as you’ll see.”

“You can google some half-marathons of mine and you’ll find something. Those were the days – I miss South Africa! Want to go back to being at my health peak.”

Plo-plim!

“Look at this weak belly!”

She touches it “Aww… I like it, Christian! Very cuddly to sleep against…”

Plo-plim! Plo-plim! Plo-plim!

“That will change! It will have to go!”

“Well, only if you want to and you think you’ll feel more energetic. I want to lose some weight, too. Summer is coming and we have to get into bikini shape!”

“Maybe for my villa in Spain? You’ll love it. It’s so chill!”

Plo-plim!

“Sorry for that. I’ll put my phone on silent mode. Wait.” She reaches for her iPhone.

“Oh… Look at all those Tinder notifications. Popular, Anna!!”

“No…”

“Yes, they were popping up all night long while you were sleeping.” He teases her some more.

“Seriously? Haha……. About Spain, let’s see if I’ll ever be invited again. We’ll talk about it later. Look, it’s almost 12. Are you going to your hotel to check out soon?”

“Yes, I’ve gotta rush. These were the two most expensive hotel nights I’ve ever paid for. A room just for storing my suitcase! Humpf.”

“Haha. What a waste! But I’m glad you stayed here with me.” Maybe he doesn’t realize it just yet – though she’s tried to show him what kind of person she is – but he is the first man ever to spend a night with her – two whole nights – with the exception of her husband. This is such a huge step for me. It takes a lot of trust!

“Me, too. Though you haven’t given me that tattoo you promised me yet, Annita.”

“Well…. You did lose the Ingenious game. Let’s see if you’ll earn your tattoo later!”

“See you at the sauna then?”

“We have ourselves a date, Christian!”

“Well, I got lucky! Come here, you.” He kisses he fully on the mouth and she melts into his embrace.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Can life really, really, reeeaaally feel this sweet?? I’m probably just dreaming. Pinch me!

 

 

Chapter 68 – Tinder Date #16, Part One

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Afternoon

 

Anna is feeling as peppy as a little girl on Christmas morning since she woke up and jumped out of bed.

She cannot believe they are finally going to meet face to face after three weeks of enthusiastic chatting on Whatsapp – such heart-warming interaction. Sweet and witty! Back and forth between Finland and Germany.

Ahhh…

What if Christian really is a special person??

Please be!!

Please… Don’t disappoint me.

Well, his texts and phone calls have been quite impressive – I’ll give him that much… Expectations are high. Just saying.

Anna, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You’ll know soon enough. 

 

If there’s one thing our Anna has learned from her previous fifteen dates, it’s that you never know what the chemistry (or lack thereof) will be like, until you spend some time together in person.

Yes.

She’s found that interesting messages usually make for an interesting person, and phone calls already give you half an accurate first impression.

Definitely.

But, you’ve gotta meet live, really… Spend time together!

Sometimes it only takes ten seconds to know.

But can the attraction grow on you as he shows you the different sides of himself little by little?

Or the opposite? Haha – surely.

It takes time to know people.

 

Then, there’s something else about guys. They have traditionally been considered the stronger, braver gender, but sometimes I think they seem to have interest in a lady, but they just quit way too fast.

Reasonable men won’t pursue a lady if they don’t think they stand a chance. It’s as if their energy is limited, so they need a clear/mysterious sign to see that it’s worth putting in the effort.

This little Love Game is harder than it seems! Gosh.

And more fun.

And more frustrating.

And the winning prize the best there can be (but remember to put in the work to keep the prize alive through the years).

Ahhh… Anna sighs.

Ahhh…

 

It’s like the birds and their back and forth dance of love. We’re just the same!

You chat, he rings you up, you laugh together. You go a little silent – but just a little! You show interest, and then go about your normal daily business.

You live life to the full. Go on many dates, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Never! Not before he will…

He writes again, he pursues you. He finds you interesting and doesn’t go AWOL. You’re active and happy in life.

And thinking of him.

You send him a new message – show him he easily comes back to your mind. Awww. He writes to you for hours on end. Makes you laugh like at the circus. The chat flows. It feels good for both of you.

You send a couple of selfies. Tell him about your day. Wow – he’s interested! He comments. It seems like he cares and finds you adoring for some reason. Expectations are on the rise. You say Good Night 💋, he says Sweet Dreams Xx – and you sleep with a huge smile on your face. Feeling warm and nice.

It’s hot – I’ll open the window.

Sometimes both of you go silent for longer hours and you can’t really know – but you’re hoping you’re on his mind, too. Both are investing time and attention – but playing it just a teeny bit cool, as well. Just to make it more exciting.

This seduction dance goes on for days, weeks or months in some cases.

In theirs, time flies, and the three weeks since they matched on Tinder and started chatting are complete. The awaited D-Day is today. D-evening, actually.

They are going to meet up in person in six hours. Sex, på svenska.

 

Anna finds attraction, romance, passion and love amazing. Maybe it’s happened to her three-four times since she was eleven years old?

That’s why she has to be so picky. You can’t share all that with just anyone. It’s gotta be special. He’s gotta feel like the One. He’s gotta put in the effort and not be a quitter.

 

OK, I’m 40 now.

You fall in love with someone (or the same One) once per decade. That’s not much at all!! Maybe it happens more often as you grow older and approach your end?? Live before it’s too late?? OMG. Fingers crossed.

 

The clock is ticking, and as you can see, all kinds of thoughts are rushing through Anna’s excitable mind as she’s relaxing at home, listening to music on her record player, thinking of what outfit to wear. Singing, humming, swinging to the tune.

She’s on holiday – yay! Hiihtoloma. Her flat is looking awesome – everything is so new – now clean, as well.

 

Ahhh… I should go and set the table. If Christian and I don’t find a restaurant open, we can always come here and have the veggie soup…?

The one I ordered from Mr. Ex – she giggles.

Pedro makes the best veggie soup ever – he’s such a great cook! First, he carries two heavy grocery bags full of fresh vegetables and legumes from the grocery store. Twenty different sorts, for sure. Then, he sits there in the kitchen – a whole day peeling, slicing and chopping the greens. His late mother’s recipe from Rio Grande do Sul.  Extremely healthy. Delicious!

In the last year of their marriage, he would make it whenever she asked him to, while sipping chimarão. She’d freeze different portions of the soup and have them throughout the week.

Last time she went to his home to pick up the dog, she bought a huge pot of the magical soup he’d just made. He laughed at it, but OK, agreed. And gave her the recipe for any future need.

Anna defroze it over the night and tasted it this morning. It seemed a little bland, for some reason, but no problem! She’s chopped garlic, onions, celery and lots of ginger herself, being careful not to touch the garlic so her fingertips won’t stink and be a turn off.

She’s fried it all up and added it to the boiling soup. Must be perfect now.

Ha! I can make soup, too!

 

Uh…Where was I?

Ahhh… daydreaming about tonight’s date. And the Love Game. Mmm.

You talk, you smile, you’re both polite. You look at each other.

Then, look down, fast. In a feminine way.

You have some soup, you smile again, say something interesting. Laugh at his jokes.

The expectation slowly rises. There’s flirting. A little blushing.

He’s cute. He’s sm💗rt. His smile is nice. You touch his arms lightly. There is energy in the air – loads – and he can feel that you like him. His peacock feathers open up. Wide open. You melt.

It takes two to tango.

To tango, to salsa, to samba. To zumba? Definitely to cha-cha-cha.

Well, let’s see what happens.

(Tonight, I promise!!)

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. D-Day and only six hours to wait!

 

 

Chapter 66 – 24 Hours

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

 

Ending Day 62


21:03   Hello! Hope you’ve had a great day. I’m just packing, so will be there in just over 24 hours! 😊 Can’t wait to see you. Early night tonight…
.
.
God, this guy is something else. Well-mannered and endearing. Communicative! Seems normal/wonderful. Hopefully as nice as I expect. 
.
.
Last night was pretty bad. Taxi arrives 11am tomorrow.
My forecast says snow in Helsinki.
🌨️

21:39   Hi Chris,
Yes, an interesting day! Just coming home. After leaving James Bond at home, I decided to drop by a friend’s farewell party. Some Brazilian football players hit on me. Haha! I know the type…
I left quite fast after that because a couple of women started fighting!
But the young woman who is moving back to Brazil is lovely. She’s the one who introduced me to Tinder, so I’m grateful. 😊

Had to go thank her, hug her good-bye and buy some of her wonderful feijoada, a national Brazilian dish. Have you ever tried it?

21:49   Home now to finish tidying up for a prince who’s coming over tomorrow. 😊 Can’t wait. I’ve heard he’s handsome, sweet, friendly and very witty. I’m hoping he’s hot, too. I think he’s a good person. That’s the main thing I can hope for.

Hmm. You’re probably sleeping to have energy for tomorrow, right? Just like Sleeping Beauty. Gosh! Wonder how many dragons and thorny bushes I’ll have to fight to get to you and possibly give you a wake up kiss!

See you in 22h! Tervetuloa vaan!


21:55   Hello! More cleaning and tidying? No more waxing though, right? 😊 Awake. Planning a full night’s sleep.

Fighting!!? What was that all about?? Glad you made your escape. 😊

22:05   😊 So, I’ll go and pick you up at your hotel at 8:15 tomorrow evening.


Perfect. I’ll let you know if there are any delays.

Delays, yay! You know how women can always use some extra time in front of the mirror: selfies, waxing and such.

Haha. Sounds intriguing! 😊 Just finishing packing.

Nice! Have a safe trip!

Thanks. I’m coming alone this time. Did I tell you that?


No.

Maybe business meetings just for one day. CEO/partner decided to postpone his trip to Finland to March. 😊
.
 

Got my Karoo desert haircut today. 😊 Just for you!

22:31   😊😊 Good style!

Yes! Bald men should always trim their hair short. At least the younger ones.
.
.

Btw, is your business meeting on Wednesday? I have an appointment at 1 pm and another from 4:30-6. Maybe could do something with the kids at lunch time. And then I’ll be free again at night.

23:41   Yes, it is. Glad you are spending time with kids. 😊

Ah… Tattoo mystery soon to be solved! Have you always liked tattoos? How many do you have?
.

Oh! Haha. I got my first tattoo to cover a surgical scar. I had two difficult c-sections, especially the second. They sewed me up badly, so I had to get a corrective plastic surgery some years later. I was very pleased with the result and the better quality of life after that! That’s when Sarah, my sister, told me some people cover scars with tattoos.

It’s tough being a woman!!


I never ever thought I’d get a tattoo in my life. I wasn’t the kind. but I figured I preferred seeing a tattoo to a scar…

23:48   Great idea with that. 😊 Is it a snake?

No snakes!!! I’m still planning to get a third and last tattoo to cover another scar.

Well… you have a tattoo parlour in your neighbourhood. Remember the pic you sent me? Unorthodox Tattoo?

I have a few scars. We can compare them. 😊

Let’s compete!


I think you may win. But we shall see!

Haha. I’ve got 5!

Got 3.

😊 Hey, getting sleepy here, but movies and games waiting… Some good food! And wax strips if you need them.
Feel free to do your computer work this coming week, whenever you have to. Just let me know.
.

I should be pretty free. It’ll be like a holiday. 😊

OK. But still, I promise not to cage you up. I won’t use my dungeon this week! 😊 Good night.


Hahaha. But I want to see that! Is it down by the sauna?
Sweet dreams!

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 62 of just being silly. And hoping! Never lose hope!

 

 

 

Chapter 65 – This One Doesn’t Count – But JB Always Does!

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

 

Day 62

 

Right after Date #15, Anna is busy again.

That’s OK, because she has planned her weekend in such a way that she’ll have all Sunday to relax, sleep and pamper herself – in order to be energetic and excited to meet Christian in the evening.

Finally!!

The holidays have started – spring break, yay – so there’ll be lots of chilling time. No stress. So what if I’m tired today?

She checks her phone for Christian’s messages.

There’s one from Giovanni, LOL. To be honest, other messages just don’t interest her enough at the moment.

This is what Christian writes:

 

13:43   Good morning!! Hope you slept in the end, after all that waxing and selfie taking. 😊 I didn’t until after 4 am, so feeling tired now.

Cold better though.

16:00   Good afternoon! Yes, I slept well, thanks. About 7h️.
.
Glad you’re feeling better. You should go back to bed now!
Have energy for tomorrow 😊.
.

In a hurry with the laundry here.

And getting ready to walk the dog… Gonna walk him to grandma’s to meet my mom and daughter there soon. 😊 

I’ll text you later.

Snowing in Helsinki and looking nicer.

But I think it’s going to melt…🙁

Keep the snow just a little longer!! 😊

 

Anna goes back upstairs from the laundry, humming as she opens the door to her flat.

“Hi, JB!”

The jack russel/chihuahua mix, James Bond, aka JB, receives her as excitedly as she’s feeling herself. He’s too darn cute, this adorable little doggie!

“Vamos passear? É, vamos passear.”

JB goes wild with joy. He knows that they’re going out for a walk. He understands Portuguese.

“Beijinho, JB, beijinho!” — and he licks her face – head over heels in love with Anna. Or so she believes…

And that feels good.

Anna’s read somewhere that every single time a pooch sees its owner, the familiar scent activates the dogs’ caudate nucleus – the part of the brain that lights up in humans when we anticipate things we enjoy… Our dogs have a positive association with our scent, so they feel love as we do. Isn’t that just awesome?

Ah JB, JB!

Strong-willed, playful, smart and social.

Dignified, loyal and affectionate.

Hmm…

…I wonder if I’ll find a boyfriend like you out there? 😊

When Anna’s feeling good, JB is great company – though he can act quite nonchalant at other times, too. Huh.

Then, when she’s sad and crying, he cuddles up and won’t let go of her all night long. There’s such empathy in this tiniest of beings – our James Bond, beloved!

 

Anna is feeling as happy as JB to go out for a walk. Life is good!

They walk 4k to her granny’s neighborhood, Kallio, where Mummo Anna, Riitta, Kristiina and Anna have evening tea and a good time together.

Then, just as she is walking James Bond back home past the market square in Hakaniemi, she gets a message from Giovanni.

 

Giovanni is a Canadian-Italian Tinder match with whom she’s been chatting a little this week. He told her he’s just moved to Finland to stay for the next five years, because the company he owns has a multi-million dollar IT contract with one of the biggest grocery stores in the world.

Huh!

Giovanni has been inviting her to dinner in a very gentlemanly manner. He will be going on a business trip to Norway tomorrow, so they’ve agreed to possibly go out when he gets back.

Gentlemanly is always good…

But she wants to meet Christian first. Too confusing otherwise! And this Canadian uses too many LOLs and things like that for her taste!

A little infantile?

 

Anyway, as I was saying…

Anna is walking the dog past Hakaniemi when Giovanni tells her he’s just arrived back to the Hilton in…

…Hakaniemi!

 

Oh, really? I’m literally at the corner of your hotel right now! Small world.

Hey, why don’t I come down so we can meet for a quick hi? Give me five minutes!

 

Spontaneous date? No! This one doesn’t count. Not a proper date – just a hi.

She stands outside the lobby for ten-fifteen minutes. It’s cold and she starts freezing. She hears her name being called, “Hi Anna,” and turns to see Giovanni walking out the hotel door.

“Hi…”

They stand there talking, she’s shaking with cold and grabs JB in her lap to warm up. The dog is shaking, too, poor thing. And uhhh, what is Giovanni saying? It’s hard to pay attention. She’s been caught off guard. He could have warned me!

“Yeah, so dinner two weeks from now, Anna?”

“Uh, why not? Get in touch after your trip!”

 

Anna does not consider herself to be superficial, uh-uh. So, she has always found it hard to understand why men complain that the women on Tinder are too interested in knowing their height before meeting up.

What is the problem with these women? Why does the man have to be tall?? She used to wonder.

Now she understands. Ahhh…

Maybe it’s not that they have to be tall per se, it’s just that Nordic women are quite tall themselves… so they probably prefer the guy to tower just a little above them?

OK… I see.

Anna is just 161, but Giovanni is at least a head shorter than her. 135?

With heeled shoes.

And he’s trying so hard to look upbeat. He’s doing his best to cause a great impression. Maybe trying too hard?

 

A couple of weeks later she has already deleted her account on Tinder and feels sad when she thinks he must imagine she’s disappeared because of his height. Oh no! Poor thing!

Danny DeVito’s romantic movie – The OH in Ohio – occurs to her. I recommend it!

 

And to this day she sometimes wonders how good Giovanni would have been.

He’d probably have valued me, not taken me for granted, not let go, felt lucky, treated me like a Queen; girls just want to feel loved – she smiles at the thought – imagining constant fun rides in his limousine.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 62 with a Chinese Date, a Danny DeVito, lots of JB joys and nice expectations.

Dogs in Love?

The OH in Ohio – Danny DeVito

Chapter 64 – Chinder Date #15

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

 

日 62

 

Only one day to go, and Anna’s going to meet the intriguing Englishman Christian – can’t believe it! I just hope he’s as nice live as online… 🤞🤞

One more pre-booked date to attend, however. The last one before witty Chris.

So…

After twenty-two hours awake the previous day, our main character wakes up tired, but feeling very excited with life indeed. Almost as if it were spring!

Anna has a cup of coffee, takes a nice long shower, puts on a cute outfit with light make up, and goes to Faro by the Ruoholahti Canal for her coffee with her first Chinese date ever.

 

Chun Ah Ah is already there waiting for her when she arrives the usual five minutes late. He stands up, mighty elegant at 42, like Mulan’s warrior teacher in the Disney movie.

Wow! This guy is something else.

Chun Ah Ah has a presence about him. Tall, about 180? Strong jet-black hair that has recently been cut. Clean-shaven and very well-dressed: a smart shirt, smart pants, smart shoes, an impressive watch – ticking, ticking – and an overcoat. Handsome, he’s the spitting image of what Asian discipline must look like.

As strong as a reproductive bull. As impressive as a dragon!

Sigh…

 

They were only supposed to have a coffee, but after three hours of chatting non-stop, Chun Ah Ah looks at his watch.

“Anna, time has flown! It’s so easy to talk to you.” he smiles charmingly.

“Oh, thank you. Likewise.” she corresponds.

“I see that it is already 14:30, so I won’t be cooking anymore. Would you have lunch with me? Across the square? My treat!”

“Oh, that would be nice! Yes.” she answers happily, suddenly craving for pizza.

 

They walk over to Dacca Pizzeria, and it looks as though Chun’s suddenly feeling more relaxed. He pulls a chair for her to sit down, and sits across from her by the window facing the canal. They order and he leans comfortably forward with his forearms against the table.

He folds his shirt up to the elbows and opens the upper button by his collar.

He smiles, flirting intensely now.

They discuss his previous relationship with a Finnish woman. No. They never got round to having kids and…

Anna tells him about her marriage and her wonderful teenagers. How great being a mom has always felt.

 

Their pizzas arrive. His has chili peppers, arugula and extra meat. Hers is a closed calzone with ham, shrimp, oregano and extra mozzarela. Yummy – so moist! And she likes this guy. Mmm.

 

Suddenly, he drops his fork, looking really serious. His eyes almost look big. He holds up two fingers in the air and looks like someone who means business.

Intense, mysterious.

“Anna. My mother is already 82 years old and of weak health. She doesn’t have any grandchildren and she’s concerned about me being alone.”

“Oh?”

“Some women are young and still end up having no kids. Other women are forty-five and can still have babies…

“…How do I know if the woman I choose to marry will be able to give me any little ones? I’m a succesful engineer and I want to build a family.”

“Well…” Anna automatically looks down at her right arm that extends as if holding a newborn.

His voice becomes more urgent.

“Anna, in the next three years I need to (1) get married, and (2) have at least two babies,” he says holding up those two fingers again. ✌️

“Chun, ah…” her left arm raises in the previous manner. Her gaze switches to her left arm, as if in slow-motion.

 

“I need to take a wife and ✌️babies back to my mother in China before she dies.

“And I can’t wait much longer. It’s quite hard to get good matches and nice dates, you know…”

“Ah…” she looks down at her bosom and imagines having two Chinese babies of her own sucking voraciously at her nipples in 2018.

“So, what do you say?” and the vision of a short, very cute, chubby Chinese old lady smiling with satisfaction at her from across the table seems to materialize. Everything is happening so fast!

 

Later, Anna hears that the name Chun means ‘born in the spring’ and Ah means ‘little one’.

That explains it!

Chun Ah Ah!

Haha.

Waa, waa. May his destiny turn out to include the two waa, waas!

 

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 62 with imagined Chinese babies in my loving arms and a very happy mother-in-law in tow.

 

 

(Hey, You Guys!)

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Timeless, maybe.

 

Sidenotes To The Guys

 

My book has been called female-oriented. I don’t think I agree. I guess it depends on who you are and what you’re looking to find when you read me. Hopefully, you’re finding something worthwhile.

In my experience, many men are as sensitive – or even more – than the average woman. Romantic, meek, adorable – strong and wonderfully manly, at the same time.

Some men I know (and some new stranger-friends) are reading these chronicles and sending me comments – giving me all kinds of thought/emotion-provoking feedback. I really, really appreciate it, guys.

Thank you for your valuable input, your time and interest, your intelligence and depth. Thank you for letting our souls touch a little bit, as our journeys cross paths. The world should have more beings like you. I’m lucky to have if just a fraction – you’re heroes, and you make a difference! Like you can’t imagine.

But that was not what I intended for this chapter. This parenthesis.

So……….

 

Hey, you guys (as in Goonies)!

This book is not a How-to-Find-a-Lady-Online, nor a How-To-Understand-a-Tinderella kind of book. Nonetheless, if you’re attentive, you will capture some indirect tips in my writings. Dating, food for thought, some thoughts on being a decent human being…

Well, it all comes down to this.

Be human, yes, be flawed and powerfully vulnerable – by all means. Be yourself, but seek to become the best version of yourself – even if just one tiny step at a time. We won’t respect ourselves otherwise. I hear that progress equals happiness, and I agree.

(What’s our alternative? Growing older and sadder with time? A downhill trip to the grave? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s meant to be).

Try. Succeed. Stumble and fall. Err and then dust off, chin up and repeat. A small step, but a small step in the right direction. It piles up and amounts to much. Get help, if needed.

(I often need help. Hugs + talking are the best kind!)

 

Whether you’re single and happy to stay so, or longing for a partner and all the love in the world. Whether you’re happily married, or in the process of deciding to divorce.

I’m sure that whatever the case, you want to feel alive, very ALIVE!

Vulnerable, yet mighty. Responsible, but true. You want to be gentle and loved and respected. And wild!

You want to be needed, missed and admired – to hug her and make her laugh, make her life happier and lighter (whoever the word ‘she’ represents here).

You thrive in having something to offer and living a purpose-filled life. And you have lots to give. We need each other.

Be true, be true, be true, darling. “To thine own self be true.” Go through the process, but get there, don’t give in. I believe in you.

If you were suddenly in your deathbed, would you say, “I wish I had lived a life true to myself – not the life that others expected of me. I wish I had expressed my feelings, and I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.”?

If not, you’re doing great. Yay!

 

And to those of you in hopes of finding a special gal (the same works for keeping her, I guess).

If you’re not ready for dating, don’t do it. Wait a little. Work on yourself. But when you’re ready…

Go for it 100%!

I can’t promise you the lady you like will like you back, but I can promise you this:

Women like attitude (without the arrogance). Women respond to self-confidence and self-respect. Remember to respect them, too.

Women like guys who are wise and cool and brave. Decisive. They know what they want and dare to try. Men who have the courage to give their best, put in the effort and risk rejection – even if it hurts. (Aren’t guys supposed to love adventure and uncertainty? Hunting? Battlefields? Conquering? A quest, a fair fight with dignity, any way??)

You don’t have to be James Bond, but when you decide to go dating/to keep the lady, don’t just be yourself – but your best!

Don’t do anything half-heartedly, with meager efforts, out of fear. Yuk!

You might be super skinny or short, super fat or old or whatever. Kind of poor? I don’t care.

You need time? Ask for it. Communicate.

Have goals, be working on your goals. Going somewhere. Be affectionate – romantic sometimes. Don’t be mean. I think what she really cares about is the fact that you try hard – even though what you really want is to succeed.

Put on a great newish shirt or a casual outfit, wash your hair, trim your beard, back straight, smile! Treat her with respect and admiration. Listen to her a little more than you talk yourself. Care! Look into her eyes – practice eye contact. Be a perfect gentleman. Well-mannered, at least.

But dare to hold her hands in the second part of the date. To kiss her good-bye. Text her back soon! The world is quick nowadays, and if you dormir no ponto, if you give it too much time… If she’s really special – uh-oh!

Read her body language and watch out for the signs. Is she touching her hair as she looks at you? Leaning her head? Retouching her lip gloss? Is she touching your arm lightly? Is her smile genuine? Does she think you’re funny? Can you sense if you’re being smart and interesting in her eyes?

 

And what if you don’t like her? That’s OK, too. Others will. Just like there will be a person who will like you. Your unique self.

Change the game, but be a gentleman anyway. Don’t be a jerk – thank her for a lovely evening. Wish her good luck!

Leave your best impression wherever you go – be it a yes or a friendly no – and she’ll respect you for it. You’ll respect yourself. And that’s powerful!

(I respect all the times Mr. Ex was a good man. All the times he was true and vulnerable, a decent guy. The moments when he was his best. I’ll remember. And most of all, I respect him for not wasting any more of my time and daring to ask for a divorce. For finally making up his mind. Thank you, Pedro.)

If you’re not for each other, at least you did your part and treated her with dignity. Why would you regret that?

But don’t give her half-efforts, excuses or laziness, BS. You deserve to leave a better impression than that.

Your statement, your signature.

That’s just one girl’s very humble opinion. And I’m as fallible as you.

 

XOXOXOXO,

Anna

(And my real name to others).

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Today I received this cute message. Here it goes for you, too:

 

Life is as passing as pain.

As beautiful as love.

As simple as me.

As important as you.

Therefore fight, forgive, love, conquer and enjoy every second of it.

If you have to choose between being happy or being important, choose being happy,

Because important you already are! 😊

 

 

Chapter 59 – 3D

 

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

 

Day 60

 

Anna is on her way to work – alone – because the teachers who usually carpool with her have a shorter workday today. That gives her a whole hour to reflect, while she drives in the dark, heavy early morning rainstorm.

Hopes and dreams. Needs.

Frustrations and the hurt she’s determined to leave in the past.

Good things to look forward to!

Ah… how I’d love a boyfriend.

I feel young(ish) and pretty. So much affection to give! So much that could be shared. So very much I’d love to receive. And life is for sharing! We are social beings.

And I’m so passionate!!

I’ve been through too much to care for stuff. Materialism, shopping? Despicable. Meaningless bickerings? Wasting life?

And aren’t the best things for free, anyway?

Affection, embraces, kisses, caring, playfulness, chatting, loving, helping others. Smiling. Shedding emotional tears and other goodies.

With an equal.

Attraction, vulnerability, growth.

Interesting dates – fun!

If not hilarious – to say the least.

 

She finds that it’s been good to meet up as quickly as possible after matching on Tinder and enjoying some pleasant interaction.

You see, when you’re just online, you start building up a mental picture of the other person in your head. Maybe you imagine a certain height, weight, voice, appearance and body language.

An imagined person based on words and a few 2D images.

It’s like when you’re reading a novel and deciding for yourself what the characters look like. And, more importantly, how their personality shines.

Then comes the date and… even if you keep an open mind and heart, the longer you’ve imagined the person in a certain way… the more difficult it can be to make the shift from 2D to 3D.

Oh!

Tonight is date #14. With Aarne – the one scheduled three weeks ago, since he lives in Turku. Coming to visit his daughter and excited to meet me – he says.

Hmm. He’s 54.

Finnish.

Uh… I just wonder…

…if I’ll like Christian in person — Anna laughs.

She parks her car and reads the Englishman’s last messages again.

 

4:30   Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😞  Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

 

🎼  I’ve got sunshine in a cloudy day… 🎶

 

9:21   Still feeling like that, yes. But at 4 I was fast asleep.

Glad that you wrote any way. 😊  How are you feeling today? Any coughing? Sore throat?

11:31   Morning. Feel much worse today. Cold is finally coming out. Throat feels better though. Nose will be raw by end of today.

Hope you’re having a nice day there.

 

Ah, is he really going to make it with his cold??

 

14:24   Oh, no!! Get well soon. I hope you can stay in bed all day today again. Maybe the salt helped with the throat?

Raw nose? Try lip balm around there a few times per day. Solves the problem. 

Awful weather here. Raining hard. Would be perfect to be under covers with good company and watch a nice movie, drinking hot cocoa…

14:47   Eurgh. Struggling today. Glad I don’t have to be anywhere else. Raining? No!! Bring back the snow. ☃️  I like your ideas for spending a rainy day. 😊

15:00  😊 Maybe Monday?

15:01   OK. Hoping for rain in that case. 😊

  Me, too!

🎼  When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way? 🎶

 

Got hotel booked today. Staying at Radisson Blue Royal hotel until Tuesday.

15:24   Nice place! And walking distance to my flat. About 1 km downhill and you’re at my door. Maybe I could choose a restaurant between the hotel and my place, instead of Vapiano. Maybe Koti Pizza? Since you’re ill… So you won’t need to walk that much. What do you think?

15:41   That sounds like a great plan. 😊 And downhill too! Can I ski there??

Haha. You can try to ski there. I’ll watch. It’ll be funny!

During the week, we could have some wonderful veggie soup at my place. Would be good for your cold, too!

Meeting up at 8 or 8:30?

If you could meet me at hotel around 2015 that would be great. I’m still not that familiar with Helsinki….but improving. This is my 4th trip. 5th in March. 😊

Nice!

Let’s do that. Should be there by then.

If the flight is late – snow storm or something – I’m sure we’ll manage to find some other place open.

Healthy pizza sounds great. And your soup. 😊 Want to try that. I won’t let you starve and hope to take you out a few times.

16:22   So we have ourselves a plan. 😊 Oh, I eat very little nowadays. Can survive with 4-6 eggs and I’m happy.

16:24   You should keep chickens!!

Soup, salads, eggs. Volleyball. Not much more that I need. Except a little loving.

That’s good exercise too. 😊 Miss that.

Blink slowly at me with those dreamy eyelashes of yours… And that voice. Maybe I won’t be able to resist. Not sure. Who knows??

Hmmm. I’m just coming out of a long long relationship. So no hurry.

Christian… Should I maybe tell you something?

I’m not really the wild kind. My values are important to me. Having said that… I’d love to get to know someone slowly. Find a boyfriend. Someone to enjoy life with, respect, spend time with whenever possible. Have my person out there!

I read something that makes sense. Something I’ve experienced in life, and it was totally worth it. Even though it ended… ☹️

 

“I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience… You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.”  And… “Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.”

16:58   I’m quoting Anais Nin. Ever heard of her? Beautiful!

   I’ve had it and hope to again. Someday!

How do you feel about this? Are you looking for something completely different?

You seem to be a nice person. Friend? Boyfriend? Who knows? We have to meet first, spend some time together. Will there be any chemistry? Maybe.

But I like sincerity and I think you do, too. When there’s honesty, people can make informed decisions and be on the same page.

Would love to hear your thoughts. A little now and more later.

17:14   Thought-provoking quotes there. I haven’t seen them before. To start with, friendship is so important for me – hopefully much more, but it takes a lot of time to get to know people.

Somehow, I can sense that you are such a good person!

I had some bad people in my life. It was only recently I decided to cut my ties. There are too many nice people in the world go bother with the bad ones.

I love what you write. So… looking forward to Sunday. Hope you won’t be disappointed. Either way, we’ll have a fun evening. And some good food and laughs.

🎼  Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶.
.
.
And… You have to teach me ‘Hazel Eyes,’ Love Letter and Ingenious – all the games you told me about. You promised! 😊
.

17:23  You sound wise. Looking forward to Sunday!!

Fingers crossed for rain. 😊 Back in bed.

18:08   Good! You need that!

Can’t wait to feel well again. Btw, is my hotel close to station? I’m catching bus from airport.

The hotel is about 600m uphill from the station.

Ok. Hope I can make it uphill!! 😊 They need a chairlift.

You’re so funny! I wish I could pick you up, but it’s sauna time and the teens are coming over for that and then leaving.

Won’t have much luggage so should be easy. Oh. I would never expect that!!

Don’t want to miss the sauna.

Sauna is the right place for you.

 

🎼  I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me
I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees 🎶

But I would have loved picking you up. You would have been able to hear me singing in the car from moment zero.

Not necessary at all. But thanks.

18:13   No singing necessary for you then. LOL! 😊  Loved your suggestion of getting myself some chickens!

  unnamed (4) – kopio

18:15   Meant the lift. Please sing away!! 😊

Look at my dinner.

Mmmm. Making me hungry.

I knew that you meant the lift. Was just teasing you a little.

You teasy-joker! 😊

 

Anna sends him another picture of her taking a nap. Under lots of covers.

 

Are you having another power nap?

No. Actually just eating those eggs.

OK. Thought you were multitasking. 😊

Teasing is kind of fun, too. I’m in an energetic mood all the time nowadays! Beware. I might grab you.

I was wondering where you were balancing the eggs. 😊 Grabbing? I like a bit of energy.

(Love how witty you are)! Just a bit? I heard you…

Haha. OK. A lot!!

 

🎼  Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶

 

So lucky to be on holidays from tomorrow afternoon. 😊 Hiihtoloma – our spring break – meant for skiing in Finland.

18:22   Enjoy! Holidays at last.

I’ve brought home some games for 2 from school. Some of my own, so that we’ll have enough to do in case of bad weather.

Great. 😊

Competitiveness and intelligence are big turn-ons!

18:30   So I have to win. What are the games?

Ha. You want to practice, huh? Ingenious. That’s one of the games. 😊 Ticket to Ride. 6 Nimmt.

I want to do my homework for the teacher.

The rules are in Finnish, so, too bad!

Haha. I see. I will just have to trust your teaching, then.

Are you going to sleep soon? Get your energy back for me.

Yep. Sleeping. But I’m thinking about your hazel eyes.

Sweet dreams… I’m going out soon.

Enjoy. I will be thinking about sauna games, as well.

You do that and try to come up with some cool rules. Talk to you later then, handsome eyes.

Sleep well later.

P.S. Three days!! X

Three days for you and me in 3D. 😊 Finally!

 

🎼  I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
I’ve got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do) 🎶

 

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 60 – hey, hey, hey! 🎶

(My Girl © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC)