Whatsapp – The Chronicles of a Happy Divorcée

Chapter 80 – Sad

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 25 February 2016.

Anna has been her best self this week.

She felt appreciated for who she is.

She’s so happy, my friends! Every woman deserves that…

Chris and Annita got to see a few different sides of each other, and now she wants to keep exploring what they have got in store. The best of what life has got to give? Slowly, no rush.

Time flies.

13:54 Just taking off. Thanks so much for taking me to airport. And for a magical week. I can’t wait to see you again soon. Enjoy the rest of your holidays and speak soon. Think of me when you eat your grapes. 😊

Instead of answering his message, she calls her best friend Lisa to tell her about her spring break.

“And ohhhh, Lisa. It was so fun! I felt so relaxed. You know how hard-working I am, right? Always doing something in the house and at work – a thousand projects for me and for others…

“But this week a miracle happened. I just stopped everything. I just enjoyed myself. I even sat on the sofa a few times, can you imagine that? Christian made me stop all the rush. Naturally. Just like that.”

“Seriously? Is that even possible?”

“Awww. He called our week magical. And yes, that’s the best way to describe it. It was magical!”

“Really?” — Liisa giggles — “Tell me more!”

“Gosh, I feel I’m like I’m 20 years old again! I had free time, dates. I was treated with courtesy and good mood. English manners are super sexy. All these hugs, this affection. Pure joy!

“I felt important, Lisa. Well, I certainly retributed. He earned it…

“Why did I stay in the marriage that long? Tell me, am I just dreaming now? Do tell me!”

“I’m so excited for you, Anna!”

“Thanks, Lisa. And thank you, Tinder.” — Ding! — “Hey, Christian is texting me now. Haha.”

17:11 I made it. Fell asleep and the passenger beside me woke me up after landing. Must have thought I died.

“Wait… Lisa, he is trying to call me on WhatsApp now. Can I call you back?”

Anna takes Christian’s call.

“Hello,” she says sweetly.

“Hi.” — there’s laughter in his voice — “It’s only me. I’ve just landed. I miss you so much that I had to hear your voice again,” he says with longing.

“That’s awesome. I miss you, too.” — smiles.

She texts him immediately after they hang up.

My pleasure taking you to the airport. That way I got to touch and kiss you a little more. 😊

I have some nice plans for tonight, starting with a long nap soon… I’ll miss your ears, Chris. And how you love sleeping! I’ll miss trying to wake you up.

She sends him the pics of their last date at Gringos Locos and Töölö Bay. Especially their kiss selfie.

Mmm, couldn’t stop biting your tongue. Totally irresistible. 😊 I miss you. Xx.

Anna, thanks for the pics. I’m feeling quite sad to have left you there. ☹️

I saw my son. Glad he remembers me. Hope you will wear my t-shirt tonight. Where are you sleeping? Sofa? Floor? Bed? Chair? I will imagine you next to me. And I’ll be back. 😊

There are still so many games for us to play, Christian. And I can’t believe it you beat me in some! I want my revenge. More movies, forests, walks, hugs. Would love to show you many nice places. My favorites. We also need to try out other kinds of saunas. You’re sweet! 😊

In the next few weeks (well, months), they’ll be chatting more avidly than ever. There will be frequent visits, mind-blowing dates, hot getaways, more and more unforgettable texts, precious voice messages, movie nights, novel games, new tricks for old dogs…

Sharing, dreaming, touching, growing fond of, having fun, feeling inspired, challenging one another, missing, praying, trusting, believing, questioning and way too many crises, too. Eurgh. They’ll take the good with the bad. Grateful. Appreciative. Sometimes feeling sadness and doubt. Hopeful.

And then… hmmm.

But, who knows what tomorrow will bring?? One day at a time. No rush.

Obs. Missing him soooo very much!

Chapter 69 – Tinder Date #16, Part Two

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-Evening

Anna’s spring break has started well. 🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶 Remember?

This is her first holiday week ever as a single adult woman, with no care in the world for eight more days. I’m gonna enjoy this as much as I can!

Anna is feeling happy and Christian surely plays a part in that.

Still can’t believe that crazy selfie he sent me, though.

Anna had insisted for days he send her a picture with a smile, teeth showing. She wanted to make sure Christian had teeth, what else? A nice smile is such a turn on, after all!

So, tonight she’s finally going to meet that very, very short, chubby, sixty-five-year-old jolly grandpa with a pink complexion, a forced smile and eyes wide open. Like one of Snow White’s little darlings. Bald, with a few long hairs sticking up his head against the backlight.

Not at all like in his other pics. Haha.

Clueless selfie. He’s such a guy!

Endearing. Some clueless guys are simply endearing.

Ding!

15:00 On my way. 😊 But I forgot to bring my scarf. Delayed flight. Will send you a message once I’m onboard. 😊

Yay! Looking forward to seeing you. Have a safe flight! 😊 About the cold, don’t worry, I’ll bring you one of my mom’s gift-project scarves.

Great. Thanks so much! 😊 What’s the best way to get the hotel?

She sends him detailed directions. Ha! It’s pretty straightforward. Isn’t he supposed to be a world traveller?! And Helsinki is so tiny!

15:50 Can always get lost. 😊 Can you leave a trail of breadcrumbs?

15:58 Funny guy! I’ll leave you a trail of smiles. If you get lost, text me and I’ll come and save you.

16:20 Will do. Just put me in your bicycle basket. 😊 Boarding soon. Take a power nap!

Of course I will! 😊

D-evening has now come and Anna’s ready to mingle. Yay!

She wanted to wear a skirt, but since it is 0°C outside, she’s chosen black slacks and a blue jeans shirt. Hold-ups underneath. High-heeled leather Army-style Vagabond boots on her feet, and to warm her up, a new navy Didriksson’s parka, her favorite scarf and matching gloves (she doesn’t like wearing hats – no).

Loose hair and a happy smile.

She is looking good and feeling awesome!

19:20 The eagle has landed. And can’t find his luggage!

Anna is just waiting around. Getting restless. I can’t wait any longer!! Can you?

20:10 Found my suitcase! And… I’m in Helsinki!!!! Heading for hotel. Will call you when I am there. 😊 Really, really nice to be back. And can’t wait to see you.

Tervetuloa! Xx 😊😊

Ohhh! I’m too excited to wait around the house.

She walks to Mr. Ex’s place, wishes the teens a good holiday – with big hugs – and borrows the dog for the walk up to the hotel.

There has been lots of subtle teasing from both lately. And from his side “cough, cough and splutter,” too.

A funny man…

…With a cold!

Where does he find the motivation to get up from bed and catch a flight? Haha – I did ask him if he wanted to postpone his trip, but no.

So, playing nurse on a date, am I?

20:15 I’m wearing my snow boots. Don’t want to break more bones!

Better safe than sorry. I’m wearing casual. Let’s match?

Yes! Don’t wear heels. 😊 Slippery out there.

Anna and James Bond take brisk steps through the Kolmiopuisto park, towards Kamppi. Cute doggie! It’s drizzling and dark, but who cares??

Soon, soon, soon!

Yes!

Christian has put in so much effort so far – like guys who know what they are doing in the dating game. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying his attention. — She smiles, with a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight.

I’m a single woman now – and my date is here.

Yay, yay, yay!!

20:49 OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

Game on!!

She’s standing outside his hotel and can’t wait to see him…

Literally — she looks at her watch — 21:15? Seriously? Where is this guy??

Obs. D-Evening

(The snow is falling gracefully here in Tampere as I write this chapter, looking out the windows at the beautiful scenery of my parents’ backyard).

Chapter 68 – Tinder Date #16, Part One

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-Afternoon

Anna is feeling as peppy as a little girl on Christmas morning since she woke up and jumped out of bed.

She cannot believe they are finally going to meet face to face after three weeks of enthusiastic chatting on Whatsapp – such heart-warming interaction. Sweet and witty! Back and forth between Finland and Germany.

Ahhh…

What if Christian really is a special person??

Please be!!

Please… Don’t disappoint me.

Well, his texts and phone calls have been quite impressive – I’ll give him that much… Expectations are high. Just saying.

Anna, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You’ll know soon enough.

If there’s one thing our Anna has learned from her previous fifteen dates, it’s that you never know what the chemistry (or lack thereof) will be like, until you spend some time together in person.

Yes.

She’s found that interesting messages usually make for an interesting person, and phone calls already give you half an accurate first impression.

Definitely.

But, you’ve gotta meet live, really… Spend time together!

Sometimes it only takes ten seconds to know.

But can the attraction grow on you as he shows you the different sides of himself little by little?

Or the opposite? Haha – surely.

It takes time to know people.

Then, there’s something else about guys. They have traditionally been considered the stronger, braver gender, but sometimes I think they seem to have interest in a lady, but they just quit way too fast.

Reasonable men won’t pursue a lady if they don’t think they stand a chance. It’s as if their energy is limited, so they need a clear/mysterious sign to see that it’s worth putting in the effort.

This little Love Game is harder than it seems! Gosh.

And more fun.

And more frustrating.

And the winning prize the best there can be (but remember to put in the work to keep the prize alive through the years).

Ahhh… Anna sighs.

Ahhh…

It’s like the birds and their back and forth dance of love. We’re just the same!

You chat, he rings you up, you laugh together. You go a little silent – but just a little! You show interest, and then go about your normal daily business.

You live life to the full. Go on many dates, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Never! Not before he will…

He writes again, he pursues you. He finds you interesting and doesn’t go AWOL. You’re active and happy in life.

And thinking of him.

You send him a new message – show him he easily comes back to your mind. Awww. He writes to you for hours on end. Makes you laugh like at the circus. The chat flows. It feels good for both of you.

You send a couple of selfies. Tell him about your day. Wow – he’s interested! He comments. It seems like he cares and finds you adoring for some reason. Expectations are on the rise. You say Good Night 💋, he says Sweet Dreams Xx – and you sleep with a huge smile on your face. Feeling warm and nice.

It’s hot – I’ll open the window.

Sometimes both of you go silent for longer hours and you can’t really know – but you’re hoping you’re on his mind, too. Both are investing time and attention – but playing it just a teeny bit cool, as well. Just to make it more exciting.

This seduction dance goes on for days, weeks or months in some cases.

In theirs, time flies, and the three weeks since they matched on Tinder and started chatting are complete. The awaited D-Day is today. D-evening, actually.

They are going to meet up in person in six hours. Sex, på svenska.

Anna finds attraction, romance, passion and love amazing. Maybe it’s happened to her three-four times since she was eleven years old?

That’s why she has to be so picky. You can’t share all that with just anyone. It’s gotta be special. He’s gotta feel like the One. He’s gotta put in the effort and not be a quitter.

OK, I’m 40 now.

You fall in love with someone (or the same One) once per decade. That’s not much at all!! Maybe it happens more often as you grow older and approach your end?? Live before it’s too late?? OMG. Fingers crossed.

The clock is ticking, and as you can see, all kinds of thoughts are rushing through Anna’s excitable mind as she’s relaxing at home, listening to music on her record player, thinking of what outfit to wear. Singing, humming, swinging to the tune.

She’s on holiday – yay! Hiihtoloma. Her flat is looking awesome – everything is so new – now clean, as well.

Ahhh… I should go and set the table. If Christian and I don’t find a restaurant open, we can always come here and have the veggie soup…?

The one I ordered from Mr. Ex – she giggles.

Pedro makes the best veggie soup ever – he’s such a great cook! First, he carries two heavy grocery bags full of fresh vegetables and legumes from the grocery store. Twenty different sorts, for sure. Then, he sits there in the kitchen – a whole day peeling, slicing and chopping the greens. His late mother’s recipe from Rio Grande do Sul. Extremely healthy. Delicious!

In the last year of their marriage, he would make it whenever she asked him to, while sipping chimarão. She’d freeze different portions of the soup and have them throughout the week.

Last time she went to his home to pick up the dog, she bought a huge pot of the magical soup he’d just made. He laughed at it, but OK, agreed. And gave her the recipe for any future need.

Anna defroze it over the night and tasted it this morning. It seemed a little bland, for some reason, but no problem! She’s chopped garlic, onions, celery and lots of ginger herself, being careful not to touch the garlic so her fingertips won’t stink and be a turn off.

She’s fried it all up and added it to the boiling soup. Must be perfect now.

Ha! I can make soup, too!

Uh…Where was I?

Ahhh… daydreaming about tonight’s date. And the Love Game. Mmm.

You talk, you smile, you’re both polite. You look at each other.

Then, look down, fast. In a feminine way.

You have some soup, you smile again, say something interesting. Laugh at his jokes.

The expectation slowly rises. There’s flirting. A little blushing.

He’s cute. He’s sm💗rt. His smile is nice. You touch his arms lightly. There is energy in the air – loads – and he can feel that you like him. His peacock feathers open up. Wide open. You melt.

It takes two to tango.

To tango, to salsa, to samba. To zumba? Definitely to cha-cha-cha.

Well, let’s see what happens.

(Tonight, I promise!!)

Obs. D-Day and only six hours to wait!

Chapter 63 – In the Middle of the Night

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Day 62

Back home from her daughter’s Senior Dance and it was so amazing!

My little princess is all grown now. Capable, strong. With the innocent, perfect beauty of youth – soul and skin.

Ah – to be young again and know how to appreciate it!

To be honest, Anna is feeling quite young herself. She is careful, works out, eats right. The lower-carb lifestyle makes her feel extra energetic.

In fact, she’s feeling so pigg (alert in Swedish) that she starts cleaning the house around midnight.

It’s good to do things a day earlier than planned – how very Finnish of her.

That way one can enjoy more free time the next day. Multi-tasking is fun, too, so she answers Christian’s messages.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!

Here’s one! Here you go 😊:

Video of Kristiina’s Senior Dance S2 :))

2:13 Wow! Looking great.

Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it. 😊😊

Ah, before I forget, remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

2:20 Oh, you have great memory. Amazing.

Phew. I thought I was going mad!

Yes, English muffins.

Yum. You have excellent taste.

You like cakes? Maybe I could bake something quick and easy.

Sure. But I don’t have a sweet tooth. What is your speciality?

Korvapuusti. Literal translation: a slap on the ear.

Hahaha. Ouch!! I felt that.

They’re actually the best cinnamon buns in the world. A Finnish recipe. What tea do you usually drink? English people drink a lot of tea! How can one be that thirsty?

2.21 Haha. Yes. Decaf. Also like camomile, peppermint – Chinese tea too. White, no sugar.

Did you find the teas you like in Finland?
My mom always complains that the ones over here are not as good as there.

.…

Well…. I did notice. Not much choice.

There’s an Intense Mint sort that is wonderful. Maybe you could bring a stash of your own tea to keep some in my flat. How intimate is that, huh? 😊

Oh….very!! 😊

Should be drinking champagne but don’t want to make you feel bad.

Why champagne, what’s the occasion? And I won’t feel bad…

A glass to celebrate meeting you.

Ah, that’s too sweet. Now you’ll have to bring it. And I’ll have a glass with you. Celebrate meeting you!

Champagne and English muffins. A good combination. 😊

2.31 Tomorrow – wow. About 40h from now. 😊 Hey, you’ll never ever guess what I’m doing. But I’ll give you three tries.

Ok.

Guess 1. Here goes.

Exercising?

Nope.

Guess 2. Cleaning.

No. Already done with that. 😊

Guess 3. Writing to me? OK, that’s not my real guess. 😊

Guess 3. Drawing a picture?

No, no, no – too many guesses already! 😊

Wrong again? 😔 I give up.

Taking selfie??

2.36 Not staying awake at this time for selfies!

A clue: It hurts a little and maybe you haven’t tried it yet.

Oooh.
Standing on your head?
Planking?

What is planking?

Type of exercise. To strengthen abs.

Waxing legs. Have you ever?

Hahaha. Ouch! Have I waxed?
Sure. Someone did my back (don’t have a hairy back like a bear’s though).

Really! Did you like it?

Loved it.

Texting and waxing, huh?

Women!

Haha. But you won’t believe what happened to my friend after a Brazilian wax. Won’t tell you now, though.

What happened?

It’s horrible. A mood killer!

Does it involve bits coming off??

Yes.

Ouch!!!!!!!

A bacterial infection, and he will need multiple plastic surgeries. Happened last month in Brazil. He posted on Facebook! Google it if you dare: Gangrene de Fournier.

I’m scared. Gangrene!! Googling now.

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst. Losing all the skin everywhere. He almost died!

I’ve never heard of that before. Poor guy! I won’t be trying that anytime soon.

His luck was that he’s a military major and had prompt access to the best care at the military hospital. 😕 Life is so strong and frail at the same time.

I can’t get the images out of my head!!! Help!!!

Sorry! Just a warning for people to be careful when waxing…

Be careful!! Still see it. Burnt into my retinas!!

I promise to be extra careful.

Don’t want to have to visit you in hospital! To feed you grapes!

2:532:5Haha.

But I can still feed you grapes.

There are better things to do here than go to the hospital. Oh! I want grapes now!

Like play hazel eyes??

Yeah. How long can you keep eye contact with those long lashes on the way?

They are quite heavy. It’s crazy! Thought about cutting them.

Don’t you dare cut them!

😊

Text and wax is a new kind of multitasking for me.

Haha. Would love to see that!

Me being a clown here? My phone is all sticky!

Clown. 🤡

😊😊 Hey, did you lose our conversations from WhatsApp like me, or did you have time to back them up?

I backed them up. 😊

Wouldn’t want to lose those fun stories we were co-authoring.

They are safe!
Omg. The gangrene pics are still open on Google. Looked like something from a butcher’s window.

3.02 Poor friend. I hope he recovers fully! Hey, send me a cute selfie of yours? Want to see what you look like in the middle of the night.

Haha. It’ll be dark.

Click and ding!

Nice dreamy eyes. 😊

Wow! He does look cute. Not like that crazy smile selfie. Phew!

Your turn now. 😊

Waxing??

Whatever you fancy. You are queen of selfies. 😊

3:10 Just so you see I’m really texting and waxing.

Click and ding!

You sure are!! Very impressive. And sexy. 😊

3:16 Ok. Better let you get on with it.

Enjoy the rest of your waxing. If that’s possible!

And see you tomorrow. Xx

3.18 See you tomorrow! Xx

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 62. Cleaning, texting & waxing, selfieing – normal multi-tasking.

Chapter 62 – Kristiina’s Vanhojentanssit

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Friday, 19 February 2016.

Day 61

Months and months of dance practice and lots of other efforts, such as searching for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes, planning the perfect hairdo and make up – and the day has finally arrived!

The whole family is very excited with tonight’s special event.

Kristiina woke up at 6 a.m. to go to the hairdresser’s, taking with her the deep-red dress she is going to wear. She’ll be dancing in front of her whole school this morning and in front of all of us, the parents and extended family, in the evening.

Kristiina’s dance partner is her favorite classmate, Babel, a tall Syrian genius who’s grown up in Finland.

“Oh, mom! What if I make mistakes during the dances??”

Anna and Kristiina hug each other bye/see you later.

“It’s normal to feel a little nervous, my darling. But if you make any mistakes, just smile with your back straight, turn your head slightly to the side, let your gorgeous hair fly in the air, and I promise your false steps won’t matter that much. Believe me, linda…

“What people will notice is how confident, beautiful and happy you are.” — Anna reassures her.

Today is the Vanhojentanssit day in all Finnish upper secondary schools – the Ball of The New Seniors, a formal prom that celebrates the passage of the second-year students to high school seniors.

And it is absolutely beautiful!

So far, it feels that the best days since Anna’s separation have all started and ended with Christian’s messages. Today couldn’t be any different. Yay!

10:26 Morning. Still rough today but hopefully will turn the corner.

It’s your last day at school before the autumn break, so I wish you a good one! See you in 2 days (cough cough). 🙂

10:37 Thanks. That’s sweet of you to remember. 🙂 Can’t believe I’ll see you in two days. Hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon!

Teacher Anna is sitting with her whole school after lunch, watching a couple dozen of their countryside students dance graciously – though a bit stiffly. She feels emotional as she looks at them.

The beauty and the innocence of youth… May they be blessed and lead healthy lives, learning to be content in their search for happiness!

She’s grown used to sharing all kinds of things with Christian, so she sends him a video of the dancers.

14:43 I’m sure I’ll cry when see my daughter tonight! Felt like crying when I saw these pupils who I don’t even teach at all.

15:00 Ahh. That’s sweet. Better get the tissues ready!! 🤧 They have obviously been practicing hard.

One of those pupils is really tall!! Must be a basketball player. 😊

15:51 Hi! Going for the coffee power nap now to then get ready to see my very own princess dance tonight! 😊💃

Don’t forget the hankies. 😊

Yeah… I wouldn’t want to mess up my makeup!

Btw, can you see my surnames on WhatsApp? Or does my name appear to you in the way you’ve saved it?

How many do you have??

You’re cute!

I see you as Princess. 😊
Princess Anna!

Aww. Sweet! I have 3 (as do many South Americans). But I’m losing the last one once the divorce is through in July, my dear handsome Prince Christian.

Ahh. You’re too kind.

16:00 Now, I’ve definitely gotta take that nap to then get ready. Trying to look good in less than an hour. Effectively! Very busy day since 5:30 a.m… But tomorrow I’ll just be alone, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, running and such. So, it’ll be easier to chat. I’ll send you a pic of my daughter’s dance later on. 😊

Great. Good luck and enjoy. 😊

Thanks, we certainly will.
I have been sleeping such deep naps that I snore and wake up with my own noises.

Haha. A little snorer? I bet it’s a cute snore though.
💋💋 One for each tattoo. 😊

Mmm 💋!

18:30 Waiting for the dances to start!!

Anna sits in the audience with her mom, Riitta, son Joey, her sister Sarah (Kristiina’s godmother), niece Isabela and varamummo Liisa. They spot Mr. Pedro/Ex from a distance. Riitta cringes.

“Eurgh. Doesn’t it feel bad to see him?” Riitta asks Anna.

“No. I’m sure it’s very important for Kristiina that he’s here, mom.

“And, I’m moving on. Not looking back, but forward.” — Anna assures her. — “Can’t wait to meet Christian in two days. Two days, mom!

“Dating is fun.” — she smiles.

And the Ball of the Seniors is astounding.

01:57 Hey. Just got up. Of course now I can’t sleep. 😊 How did this evening go?

I’m feeling a bit better. Not been eating well though. Lost my appetite, so a bit of weight loss, I guess.

02:01 Hi.

02:02 Hello! You still awake?.

2:03 Yes, have been for 21h already. Since Friday morning 5 a.m.

21 hours awake! How come?

Happy to hear you’re feeling better!

Are you ok?

Yes, fine thanks.

I think I’ve been in bed 21 hours! OK. Not that much.

Oh! I knew I was gonna clean the house on Saturday – just decided to do it after the dance ball instead. This way, when I wake up, I’ll only have some minor things to do. 😊

How was it? Hope you wake up late. You are on holiday after all. 😊

Yes! But I’ll have to get up at 9:50 to move the car.

Your house must be spotless now.

Almost, haha.

The ball was beautiful!! And so much bigger than at my school (I think they said 126 couples were dancing there)!

2:09 Lovely picture. 😊 Did she enjoy it?

Yes! She was sooo graceful. Beautiful! Wonderful body language, smiles, eye contact. 😊 I felt so proud! Will never forget this night.

We never had balls at my school.

Neither did we. Too bad! Love Pride and Prejudice – the dances looked like they were from that time. And from Gone With the Wind.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!

Here’s one! Here you go 😊:

Video of Kristiina’s Senior Dance S2 :))

2:13 Wow! Looking great. Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it.

Ah, before I forget!

Remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 61 to 62. Beautiful! Surreal.

Chapter 55 – The Interim

Tuesday, 16 February 2016.

Day 58

Anna goes away from Tinder Date #12 feeling restless.

Disappointed.

She’s been too busy and is feeling a little worried about her daughter Kristiina, as well.

Not that she’d been too excited with any of this week’s dates before meeting them…

I don’t understand why people even go to the trouble of going on dates with half-efforts.

Nothing we don’t devote ourselves to can become special in our lives.

We learn to love what we serve – in other words, give our best efforts to. Time, energy and affection.

On the other hand, we shouldn’t throw our pearls to pigs…!

We just can’t love what we don’t respect. We don’t appreciate what comes easy. I definitely don’t enjoy half-hearted stuff. Not for me, no.

These half-wits!!

Christian puts in lots of effort into our chats. Good manners, a positive attitude, respect. Flirtiness. Like Frederick – except for the flirting.

She’s feeling a little too tired when he finally sends her that smile selfie he’s been promising.

What?! So different from his other pictures. What??

Oh, what if I don’t like him in person?

All these last events make her ponder over things and worry a little bit. She appreciates honesty, so here it goes.

16:30 Christian, I’ve been thinking… Can I share a little?

I have a question. Is now a good time to ask?

14:37 Hi there. Yes, of course. What’s on your mind? Can I ring you up?

Oh, maybe soon. I’ve just been thinking that my separation is so recent. Imagine. It happened just last December. Yours was in September? So, maybe you can relate…

Here I am two months later… On Tinder. I’ve been on quite a few dates already, and even though most of the men were nice, I didn’t feel any attraction – except maybe with one. Still, I didn’t want to keep on seeing him.

Most of them asked for second dates, but I just didn’t feel like it. And that has made me wonder whether I’m ready for this or if I still have too much emotional baggage to deal with…

I love chatting with you every day. It’s so nice!

But I’m wondering: since I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more (and we don’t even know whether we’ll have any chemistry in person)…

Are you interested in becoming friends with me if we feel no attraction? You seem to be a great person and I could really use some new friends at this point in my life. And… if nothing else comes out of this, at least we could both gain something precious. No wasted time!

I love having a warm well-mannered person to chat with, like you. The best on Tinder. 😊

Anna is being very sincere. At the same time, what she’s not telling him is that based on the previous dates, she knows that some men who seem nice online are so boring in person.

Discouraging, really.

Or then so horribly dressed. An urgent need for the dentist’s?

I am not a superficial person. I make lots of new friends easily and respect every human being. I believe every person was made to be loved and appreciated for who they are. Everyone has their brokenness and their beauty.

Still… that doesn’t mean that I have to accept just anyone into my life, as my boyfriend! Without chemistry there’s nothing – Frederick is right.

Hmmm. Who should I give a chance to?? I’m not looking for a perfect guy. My expectations aren’t too high. I don’t care if he’s my age, younger or 10 years older.

I don’t mind if he’s short, like the other women on Tinder seem to do.

I don’t care if he’s overweight – or middle class, like me. He doesn’t even have to be super handsome.

(I’ve read that it can be good for the relationship if the woman is just a little better looking than the guy. That way, the guy feels like he’s scored and the woman feels great, because she always feels pretty in his eyes. He’ll be happy with this. Value her more? I don’t know if that’s true, but it does make sense…)

So, what am I looking for?? Well, I certainly know what I do like.

Hmmm.

I like kindness and good manners – I hate constant bad moods.

I like good communication. Don’t really feel attracted to slow, boring men who won’t chat or talk much. They don’t ask anything – or then they do, but don’t comment on my answers.

Dull!

He doesn’t need to have a PhD, but I need intelligence. Mr. Pedro/Ex was very smart and I loved that about him.

Funny, hardworking, a good dad (to his own kids). A good enough listener… A guy able to make decisions and take action.

A mature man. Playful, too. The man in the relationship.

Affectionate. Oh, very, very affectionate. That’s what I dream of the most.

Sigh.

Oh, gosh, does he even exist? My cousin Caleb and my brother Moses are like that. My father, too. Some of my friends, as well.

But is there someone out there for me…?

Am I too demanding? Do I have to lower my expectations?

Hmm. Most men my age are married. 90% at least. And the other 10% includes the lazy ones, the crazy ones, the smelly ones. The half-wits.

OK, maybe I could give up some of my expectations. 😯

But, but, I’m talking about who to bring into my intimate life! Not just about who to become friends with.

Into my life, my home, my heart, my body, my history, my dreams.

My present and my future.

And vice versa.

I definitely have to do some research on the topic this week.

Anna, thanks for opening your heart to me. I have loved chatting with you, as well. I can see you’re a kind person, and so beautiful!

Everyone has baggage. I do, too. We’re all flawed, but we won’t know about the chemistry if we don’t meet in person. No pressure, though.

I’m interested in friendship, as well. Hopefully more. Life is good but gets lonely, like I said before. I’m coming to Helsinki just to meet you. If you’ll have me.

Work? I can work from my computer, from anywhere. You are the reason I’ll be flying there.

Wow, what a man.

At least this cool friendship. Fingers crossed for more. 🤞🤞🤞 I hope he’s as lovelicious as his messages.

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 58 and five to go?

Chapter 51 – Living and Yearning

Monday, 15 January 2016.

Still Day 57

What a clown! Annoyed, Anna is thinking as she walks back home from the second date with Christian – the wrong Christian, the American.

I’ve got to start doing my screening better.

If this is not going to add joy and affection to my life – to two people’s lives…

…it’s just pointless and a waste of time!

Her steps get quicker in the cold. It’s good to walk to clear her head.

But I have to be brave.

Have faith, Anna!

I won’t meet anyone if I just stay home and give no one a chance…

Keep being proactive.

Whom to give a chance? Hmm.

Christian, the Englishman, sends a message. She smiles.

21:05 Hello! I’ve had a really busy day. Sorry I’ve not been able to write/call. It sounds like you’ve had a busier day in fact!

You’re lucky you have a ‘normal’ job. Bit different in the world of start ups.

I’ve booked the Radisson Hotel for my stay on Sunday and Monday. Tuesday, Lilla Roberts. Basically it’s free time Sunday and Monday.

Oh! And how I yearn for love, passion and sharing the simple good things in life. It’s been so long. More than three years since I’ve felt like that.

I’m certain there are well-mannered, mature, kind men out there, also looking for someone.

There must be!

Even if most guys my age are taken.

Especially the good ones.

She starts jogging home to fight the cold.

There’ll be exceptions. Recently separated/divorced?

Someone like me!

Yes.

Her phone dings. It’s tomorrow’s date, Eli. They’re just going to have a coffee at McDonald’s on her way home from school.

Because, you see, later tomorrow evening Anna’s going on yet another date. Another coffee at yet another café near Citymarket in Ruoholahti.

A Finn and a Canadian. Should be interesting.

Ah, I have to phone mom and update her! That’s always fun.

Mom gets excited every time she hears a new story – some details left out, of course.

Just as Anna’s entering her building – definitely less annoyed after the fresh air and good thoughts – her phone rings. It’s Kristiina, her daughter.

“Hi, sweetheart, how are you? How are things going there at dad’s?”

“Oh, mom. I’m so stressed out!” — she’s crying. Poor darling dear!

It’s just one of those days.

Vivendo y aprendendo. Living and learning, living and yearning.

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Still day 57 since moving out.

Chapter 45 – The Acronyms

Wednesday, 10 February 2016.

Day 52

10:01 Morning!! 😊 Just reading your messages. I see some selfies up there! 😊 Very frosty here. Hope you slept well. Any dreams?
It’s a nice tattoo on your neck. Discreet. And sexy.

10:11 Hi Christian…

Oh, the back-and-forth interaction. The imagined person. The unveiling of a mystery. The gradual getting-to-know. The peek into the other’s soul, into their hopes and dreams. The warmth and the flirting — that’s the main thing for now. No hurry.

Anna’s at recess at school, daydreaming for just a moment.

10:12 Hello, Annita! Was listening to your music. Just having breakfast. Have a good morning. Hope you don’t get hit by any flying objects!!

She told him yesterday about a 9th grader who threw a really hard snow ball in the back of her head on Monday. From afar. She got furious and told the pupil that next time she’ll have to call the police. Eurgh. Driving home feeling dizzy had been so hard.

11:12 Haha. Thanks!

11:15 I was halfway through when you popped up. Will keep chatting. 😊

Please do. Make me smile – like always! I was just chatting to a pupil who’s really nice. He lent me his spare phone when I broke my mobile last week. Remember I’ve lost all your previous messages? Wish I could retrieve them. They were so sweet!

I’m in need of new ones now.

11:16 I bet you have lots of good kids there. I’m not a fan of the one who chucked the ice ball at your head though!! I was hit when I was at school and it almost knocked me out! You’ve just made me remember that. 😊

And you keep breaking your phones. You must be quite strong. All those hours at the gym. 😊

11:20 Right. Talk to you later. Have a lovely day.

Btw, I booked my flights finally. Will arrive in Helsinki on Sunday the 21st at 1830. So are you free on Monday?

Anna looks at the spare phone again — OMG, OMG! He really is coming to Finland. As promised.

11:25 Sorry. Finished my lesson now. I was showing some pupils your website.

Seriously??? You are? So cool!!

Happy your ticket has been booked. Maybe I’ll even have dinner with you on Sunday?

That would be nice. 😊

Great. You run now and I’ll catch you later. If I write, just read when you can.

So, about being strong – yes, a little. I like lifting weights. 250 abs per time. But there’s a long way to go. Ah, and talking about sports, I miss jogging when it’s been raining non-stop.

Lunch now. Fish and salad.

11:27 Bon apetit! Impressive gym work there!

13.38 Hello! How was your morning? I popped out for a river walk. A few work calls and almost lunchtime here. Played your music along the way. Loved it. 😊 Very sunny today. But also frosty. My favourite weather – I should have taken a pic.

14:30 😊 Yes, you should have. I love sunshine, especially in cold days. Happy you liked the music.

I’m going to the hairdresser’s. You have an hour to give me your opinion. Either keeping this medium-dark blond. Or some light brown with vivid colors. Have had many hair colors. Even black.

Anna sends him three pictures of her with three different hair colors. She chooses good photos – of course. Gotta make an impression…

14:35 Hmmm. Tricky. All look good!! Are you natural blonde?

Thanks! I was as a child. Light brown now. But no preference?

Hmmm. I think your hair looks great already! You and your daughter could be sisters! I like your colour as it is. 😊

That Sofia Vergara daughter of mine and me? Sisters! Hahahaha. I wish.

16:09 Oh, my daughter is much much more beautiful! And on the inside, as well. Heart of gold, that girl. And very sharp brain!

Thanks for the opinion. My son loves the brown and my daughter the blond. So I vary. Keeping the dark blond for now. ☺️

16.19 Good decision. It’s a nice colour.

I dyed my hair once in my life. Jet black. I looked like Dracula so tried to dye it back. Then it turned into a copper colour!! So I had to shave it off. Never again. Well….there’s no point now anyway. 😊

16.23 Your story is funny!! And the way you felt each time. I’ve had similar hair experiences. Hahaha.

I was going to ask where you would like to go for dinner. If you are free of course.

16.26 Tonight? 😊

Not sure where I am staying yet but will be central.
Haha. Sunday. Next Sunday that is. 😊

16.29 Thought you were suddenly here to surprise me tonight.

That would be fun.

Yes. Sure it’s too late?
I would love to have dinner with you on the 21st.
Vapiano closes at 11 p.m.

Vapiano sounds great. You are not working the next day, is that right? Just concerned if you have to get up at 0550!

16.47 No, not working the next day. Yay!
But you’ll be tired from the trip.

It’s not a long journey. Plus, the next morning I will sleep in.

Hey, today I’ve been working on a new AI engine that should definitely be called A.N.N.A….R.I.T.V.A.

A=Articulate, N=Natty, N=Nightly, A=Alluring 😊

R=Rapid (brain), I=Impassioned, T=Talented, V=Valiant, A=Amazing

My God. How sweet is that!! S2

16:52 Was going to put a T=Tattoo. But you don’t have enough T’s in your name. Are you sure it’s not RITTVA?

17.06 Awww.

My turn.

C arinhoso
H andsome
R apt
I ngenious
S urprisingly sweet
T ea for two?
I maginable
A musing
N aked in the sauna?

Maybe that’s you!

17:07 Hahaha!! That made me laugh! 😊

I knew it! But it’s unfair. My two names together have more letters than yours!
Still, I wanted to express how I appreciate your personality and good manners. Did try making you laugh, too.

17:10 You covered all the bases. 😊
Looking forward to seeing you very soon. I must have walked past that restaurant a million times. Not sure I’ve been in.

It’s simple and good. 9 p.m?

17.13 Perfect.

Loved the acrostic you made of my name. ☺️

17:15 Yours was better.

Anna’s just leaving the hairdresser’s.

Christian is always so nice!

On the other hand…………

…if there’s one thing I’ve learned already…

…it is that if I like my Tinder match’s voice, there’s a bigger chance of liking them in person. The opposite is also true………😬

17.19 Would you like to give me a call? In a few minutes?

17:20 Standby.

The phone rings. Christian’s calling her on WhatsApp. She answers.

Fingers crossed.

“Hello, how are you doing there?” he says with a voice and a native accent that sounds like a mixture of Hugh Grant’s and Simon Cowell’s.

Oh My God!!! Beautiful.

She gets goosebumps all over her body as the sides of her lips turn up and she blushes a little.

They discuss Anna’s English – he says it’s perfect. Much better than he expected.

These Englishmen!

Oh, stop it – you’re making me blush!

They chat about his job in Finland, his years in South Africa.

About why Tinder. “It gets lonely,” is his answer.

Finally meeting… “You really are coming to Finland. As promised!”

“I always do what I promise.”

It’s a very, very pleasant call, and Anna just adores his voice. And his way of interacting with her. Why does it always feels so nice with him?

He feels so present in the here and now.

17.42 Sorry. My son called. Always nice to talk to him, of course, but not nice to have our first phone call interrupted.

17:46 No problem. I thought it was all my work messages coming through. Will talk again soon. Nice to hear your beautiful voice.

Thank you. I feel the same way.

17:47 You haven’t sent me you new hairdo.

I will try a selfie at home. 😊 Have to walk there now.

I’m going to go for the African Karoo desert look for my hair.

Phew! That’s great. When Christian sent Anna a pic of him in South Africa, she thought he looked very handsome. Tall, in shape – thankfully not overly fit – and with a beautiful friendly smile. Almost bald, hair trimmed short. Casual and elegant.

Later, he sent he a pic which was taken in a recent business meeting in Finland. He had longer bald hair, and that didn’t look very nice, tbh. That day, she hadn’t wasted any time, but told him the African haircut suited him much, much better. “It gives you a younger, more modern look.”

17:49 Cool. I liked it!! Modern.

But no sun tan. 😑

Well, not yet.

I had a nice tan for over 20 years. But I guess bad for skin.

17.50 If I could travel, we could both get a tan in Spain in ten days. 😊

Well….that can be arranged v easily.

In Finland, we just freeze the skin so it won’t get old. Ever. Haha – I wish. Hey, who knows? Maybe we’ll just go crazy and hop on a plane to Spain.

It’s not far. Where I live(d) was 22 degrees today.

Or then a cottage and the hole in the ice. Warm and nice. 😊

17:22 I love that!!!! Both extremes. Fireplace. Sunshine.

Me too.

You have no idea how much I love fires. 😊 🔥

17.56 I love a dark cottage with the glow and noise and smell from the fireplace. The silent forest outside. The privacy.

If you are trying to make me move to Finland….. it’s working!!

And I love hooks, too!!! You’re addicted to fires and my teens say I am addicted to hooks. More about that later.

17:57 Hooks?

Yes, I’m crazy about hooks.

For clothes? Or fishing??

For mostly everything. Got one as a surprise gift from my daughter last Xmas. I got so happy and emotional that I cried. She started laughing and filmed me smiling and crying – holding the hook. Hilarious.

17.59 Hahaha. A hook!?

I’ll send you a pic soon.

Interested about your hooks.

18:00 Basic stuff. Not hooking myself up in spears and ceilings and such, like some lunatics. So, you have nothing to fear.

18:01 Haha. Very good. Phew.

I’m walking past Bulevardi and send him a pic of the icy church yard.

18:02 Are you close to cathedral?

Near Esplanadi. So not that far from the cathedral.

It looks familiar. I have walked a lot across Helsinki. Hope it snows soon.

Hope for a nice fire, at least.

Where can we light a fire?

We’ll have to google that because outside is no fun in the rain right now.

Back home, Anna sends him the requested selfie of her new hair.

18:24 Very nice! Looks great.

18:45 Thanks! 😘

21.20 Hello. 😘 Just a quick one. Hope you’re finding the time to relax over there and enjoying your new hairdo. What do your kids think? I’m sure they love it. Going for my Karoo cut next week.

21.24 Sounds great! I’m going to sew something with my sewing machine now.
What are you up to over there?

21.37 What are you creating tonight?

Just a practical sheet system for the sofa bed.

Oh. Very good. I’d like to see that. Did you take classes for that? Or are you just a natural??

Only in elementary school. I’m no good. Just improvise.

I think you are very modest.

No. In Finland people are really good at these things. I just learn the basics of everything and like to do a bit when needed.

21:41 That’s still impressive. Just about to eat so speak to you soon. Don’t forget to send the finished product! Please. 😊

Haha. Talk to you soon. Good night. ☺️

You never know, but who knows, who knows?

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 52 of life can actually be good.

Chapter 44 – For the Love of Writing

Wednesday, 10 February 2016.

Day 52

Anna loves chatting – and writing in general. When she was a teenager, she used to have over two hundred pen pals. It was so exciting to go to her mailbox after school to retrieve up to ten-twelve letters a day from all over the world.

Such joy and excitement. Emotions.

Every single day.

Her boyfriend at the time was a long-distance relationship, and they too sent each other fun, romantic letters for three long years. Drawings, gifts, books. Paper kisses and longing.

Anna’s father, Marcos, is the one responsible for teaching her the love of reading and writing.

You see, in her childhood her family used to move almost every year – from city to city and country to country. Dad, always the affectionate artistic type, didn’t want his kids to become estranged from their relatives and best friends, and so he taught them all the joys of letter writing when Anna was about 9 years old, and her sister Sarah, 10.

She recalls the day when dad came into their room, holding the beautiful letter paper their mom Riitta had bought. They were living in New Jersey at the time.

“First, write the city and the date on the upper right-hand corner, you see? Like this.

“Good. Well done, my darlings.

“Then you start with ‘Dear Y, how are you?’ Always tell them how you are doing, as well.

“Sarah, watch your handwriting! You’ll want people to understand what you’re saying. There, that’s better.

“Now, you can proceed to share nice things about your life, your pastimes, school and trips. Tell your pen pal how you felt during certain events, not just about the things you’ve been doing. It makes the reading experience more intense and interesting.

“It’s also very important never to forget to ask them about their life. Be curious and show interest. That’s how you make friends and, above all, keep your old ones.

And with a little kiss on their heads — “I’ll proofread your letters when you’re ready and then you’ll go with your mom to the post office.

“Ask me if you need any help, sweethearts.”

Day 17. Grownup Anna has just been on Tinder for a couple of days when she matches with a guy named Tino. Remember? Their chats are so intense and Anna’s feeling very excited to meet him… Unfortunately, he cancels the day before their coffee date, becoming her Tinder disappointment #1.

That is when she reads some advice online, and decides to stop chatting for days and days before meeting up with her dates.

Day 36, and along comes Christian.

Remember him? One of the Englishman? The one Anna matched with after she decided to change her criteria about who to swipe yes to on Tinder.

Yes, that CEO of a new start-up in Finland who promised to come from Germany soon to meet her in person.

The one with the long, manly nose. — She smiles at the thought.

Not knowing if she’ll really ever meet him or not, she decides to make an exception and keep in touch with this guy. They’ve been chatting on a daily basis for over two weeks now.

And every day the chats grow warmer and more fun.

They’re intriguing.

Christian has become the exception to her rule.

10:01 Morning!! 😊 Just reading your messages. I see some selfies up there! 😊
Very frosty here. Hope you slept well. Any dreams?
It’s a nice tattoo. Discreet. 😉 Feminine and sexy.

10:11 Hi Christian…

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 52 since moving out of Mr. Ex’s home, their last home together.

Chapter 33 – Empanadas de Kebab

Friday, 5 February 2016.

Day 47

🎶 The girls need a break, tonight we’re gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance, we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hang down 🎵

Do I really?

“You look good, Anna.” — The surgeon arrives and gives her a hot kiss.

She’s not wearing a dress, high heels… Nor red lipstick. She is looking pretty in her own way, thank you very much.

They go and sit down in the second row of the movie theater. Anna’s sister and niece on her right side. Ümit on her immediate left. And next to him, his daughter and Sabri, her fiancé. All united for the Avant Premiere and the spilling of Ümit’s guts.

A typical date. 😁

Very curious to learn about his life…

The documentary starts. The lights are dimmed and Anna can sense the surgeon’s nervousness.

He grabs her hand for support. It’s cold and he’s shaking like a wet puppy. Poor doggy. She smiles and assures him that it will be alright – pressing his hand affectionately.

In the very first minutes of the show, there’s a scene in which the surgeon’s daughter is assisting him in filling an online dating form. So, right at the start and Anna already discovers about his preferences in women. Funny.

Everybody in the theater laughs heartily during the show. Well done! Talented director.

The documentary portrays him as a strong-willed, stubborn, funny, hardworking man. A loving/controlling father, whose daughter finally moves to Turkey to have breathing space, connect with their relatives there and grow as a person.

Anna can feel how they love each other immensely. She is happy for them.

Reader dear – yes you! No need to tell you much more, because if you’re the curious type, I’m sure you can easily google up this documentary, using just your brain a few key words.

Flashforward to October 2017 and Anna’s at the cottage again, one of her favorite places on Earth.

Writing.

She calls Ümit from there. She wants to ask for his permission to write about their dates, since he can potentially be recognizable.

“How are you, Anna? — he asks with his sexy accent and warm style — “Have you remarried?”

“Oh, not yet,” — she laughs — “but I did fall in love last year…”

“Really, tell me about it!”

“That’s why I’m calling you, tbh. I’m writing a book…”

“Interesting…” — he comments. With a rising, curious, investigative pitch in his friendly voice.

“It’s about the experience of being a woman, a mother, an ex-wife, a teacher, a friend… A vulnerable, yet strong human being. Someone who, though brokenhearted, still has the courage to believe in new love. She needs to deconstruct and reconstruct herself. She just needs to find out who she is now. And she joins Tinder and, voilá, you’re one of her dates. Number 9. Just 46 days after her separation.”

“Wow, you were quick and active!”

“Oh, I met Mr. Boyfriend a few dates after ours. Actually, just a few days after meeting you, as well.”

“Haha. Good. And is he from Finland??”

“Well, you’ll have to read the story to find out. You know how poker-faced, mysterious and slow Finnish guys can be, don’t you? But I won’t reveal anything at this point.

“So… I’ve reached the chapter where it’s time to write about meeting you. And… our dates were so different from the others. Really fun (well, mostly), that I’d rather not change them too much, if that’s OK…?

“You know, I was lonely and I direly wanted some fun that evening. You distracted me. I needed that!”

“Good, good.”

“I can change many details in my writing. For example, if you want I can say you came from abroad to Helsinki for a medical conference. We matched, and you took me to the conference gala as your +1. A gala where you were going to give a speech and receive a prize? What do you say?”

“Hmm. Let me think for a second. Maybe you could just change my name and my city? Now I’m seeing a nurse, but at the time I wasn’t seeing anyone. We were both single, we had a good time. So…”

“Yes, and I want to describe all the positive stuff.”

“Yes. You do that. It’s your story. Write from your heart. Maybe I can proofread before you publish it?”

“Yes. And do send me a Turkish name you’d like? On WhatsApp?”

Ding!

Anna receives some suggestions to choose from. As well as…

Write briefly about our night ending with talks about religion.

Did it happen? Remind me please. Tell me what you remember and I’ll use some of it. Co-author. 🙂

I remember feeling excited! Let’s meet and reconstruct it all again?

Funny guy! Now I know why I had such a great time with you!

Seriously!

Hmm. I’ll think about it.

Ümit says he could be a gynecological surgeon in the story. What else? Anna emails him the previous chapter and he likes it. He’s quite flattered and wants nothing changed. I told you he likes the spotlights. Artistic man!

But now, back to Day 47 and our second date…

Ümit is being interviewed on stage after the documentary. He looks pleased. And relieved.

Anna’s sister congratulates him and leaves with her daughter. It’s late. Anna and Ümit walk to the cocktail celebration hand in hand.

There, she meets his people.

This is a very Turkish-South American kind of date. Extended family?? Friends. Ex-wife and her lover! Workmates. The whole bunch.

Bring the kebab already. Empanadas de queso, por favor!

Noisy. Warm.

“Anna, in a couple of years, you will already have raised your teens and we will travel the world together! I’ll buy an apartment in Rio – sea view – and we’re moving in together. OK?”

Hours later, after much kissing and some grabbing, Ümit opens his heart a little. He’s looking a bit sad.

“Anna, I have everything. A career (I’m a good surgeon)! A wonderful daughter. Money. Trips.

“A documentary!

“What’s the meaning of life? Where will happiness come from? Does anything make sense?? What about this big void? What else is there?”

“Oh Ümit.” — sigh — “Those things are all good. You are so privileged!

“Still, I believe that only God can fill our deepest, biggest void.”

“But I don’t believe in God. Isn’t money the god of this world?”

“Well, are people really fulfilled with money, careers and all that stuff?”

“No.”

“So there, you see?

“I’ve had lots of problems and suffering in my life. Everyone suffers in different ways sooner or later, sadly enough. I don’t know where I’d be without my faith in God and the strength I get from it. He is the one who fills my void, ultimately.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and if you want, we could pray…”

He closes his eyes, they hold hands and Anna prays with him. For them.

“Anna, it’s late. Let’s sleep now.”

No! She wants to go home and sleep in her own bed. He walks her to her car, like a gentleman.

Day 48

The next afternoon, he calls her up.

“Anna, let’s meet! Let’s spend the day together. I like you!”

She is feeling a little sad. — “No, Ümit. I don’t think we’re right for each other.”

“Ah, come on. Let’s make each other company, have some fun!”

“Thank you, but I think we’re looking for different things in life. You want company and I’m looking for a relationship.”

“Eurgh. Why do women always want to define things? Can’t we just have a good time? I could send you a plane ticket. We could travel together. I’ll cook for you!”

“Ümit. I admire you!

“You paint your own house and plant your own apple trees. You cook like a true chef – I’ve heard. You seem to be a very loving father – raised your daughter alone. While studying Medicine in Finland.

“In Finnish!!

“Becoming a good surgeon in a country like this. That’s impressive.

“But… you smoke, you swear, you like to party hard? I think we’re just too different… Besides, I’m a little angry at you!! So… friends?”

“Thank you! Haha. OK, let’s be friends. Yes.”

“And I think you’ve achieved so much! You could find lots of purpose in helping others with what you have to offer.”

They discuss that for a bit and he gets excited. He says he could start a social project to support single dads. I’d be proud of him if he did that!

There’s a time for everything, but Anna believes that if we’ve been given any strengths and special advantages in life, they’re not to just be used for our own benefit alone. We should try to relieve people’s pain with it. Protect the vulnerable. Help the weak. Bless the needy… Make someone’s life a little happier?

Yes, that’s our main purpose in life.

Now, remember the cat?

Well…

…You’ll just have to keep reading. 🐱 Yes?

The gory details. Are you curious? Do you want to know?

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Only day 47 of does everything happen for a reason?