Chapter 80 – Sad

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

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Thursday, 25 February 2016.

 

 

Anna has been her best self this week.

She felt appreciated for who she is.

She’s so happy, my friends! Every woman deserves that…

Chris and Annita got to see a few different sides of each other, and now she wants to keep exploring what they have got in store. The best of what life has got to give? Slowly, no rush.

Time flies.

 

13:54   Just taking off. Thanks so much for taking me to airport. And for a magical week. I can’t wait to see you again soon. Enjoy the rest of your holidays and speak soon. Think of me when you eat your grapes. 😊

 

Instead of answering his message, she calls her best friend Lisa to tell her about her spring break.

“And ohhhh, Lisa. It was so fun! I felt so relaxed. You know how hard-working I am, right? Always doing something in the house and at work – a thousand projects for me and for others…

“But this week a miracle happened. I just stopped everything. I just enjoyed myself. I even sat on the sofa a few times, can you imagine that? Christian made me stop all the rush. Naturally. Just like that.”

“Seriously? Is that even possible?”

“Awww. He called our week magical. And yes, that’s the best way to describe it. It was magical!”

“Really?” Liisa giggles “Tell me more!”

“Gosh, I feel I’m like I’m 20 years old again! I had free time, dates. I was treated with courtesy and good mood. English manners are super sexy. All these hugs, this affection. Pure joy!

“I felt important, Lisa. Well, I certainly retributed. He earned it…

“Why did I stay in the marriage that long? Tell me, am I just dreaming now? Do tell me!”

“I’m so excited for you, Anna!”

“Thanks, Lisa. And thank you, Tinder.” Ding! “Hey, Christian is texting me now. Haha.”

 

17:11   I made it. Fell asleep and the passenger beside me woke me up after landing. Must have thought I died.

 

“Wait… Lisa, he is trying to call me on WhatsApp now. Can I call you back?”

Anna takes Christian’s call.

“Hello,” she says sweetly.

“Hi.”  there’s laughter in his voice “It’s only me. I’ve just landed. I miss you so much that I had to hear your voice again,” he says with longing.

“That’s awesome. I miss you, too.” smiles.

 

She texts him immediately after they hang up.

 

My pleasure taking you to the airport. That way I got to touch and kiss you a little more. 😊

I have some nice plans for tonight, starting with a long nap soon… I’ll miss your ears, Chris. And how you love sleeping! I’ll miss trying to wake you up.

 

She sends him the pics of their last date at Gringos Locos and Töölö Bay. Especially their kiss selfie.

 

Mmm, couldn’t stop biting your tongue. Totally irresistible. 😊 I miss you. Xx.

Anna, thanks for the pics. I’m feeling quite sad to have left you there. ☹️

I saw my son. Glad he remembers me. Hope you will wear my t-shirt tonight. Where are you sleeping? Sofa? Floor? Bed? Chair? I will imagine you next to me. And I’ll be back. 😊

There are still so many games for us to play, Christian. And I can’t believe it you beat me in some! I want my revenge. More movies, forests, walks, hugs. Would love to show you many nice places. My favorites. We also need to try out other kinds of saunas. You’re sweet! 😊

 

In the next few weeks (well, months), they’ll be chatting more avidly than ever. There will be frequent visits, mind-blowing dates, hot getaways, more and more unforgettable texts, precious voice messages, movie nights, novel games, new tricks for old dogs…

Sharing, dreaming, touching, growing fond of, having fun, feeling inspired, challenging one another, missing, praying, trusting, believing, questioning and way too many crises, too. Eurgh. They’ll take the good with the bad. Grateful. Appreciative. Sometimes feeling sadness and doubt. Hopeful.

And then… hmmm.

But, who knows what tomorrow will bring?? One day at a time. No rush.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Missing him soooo very much!

 

 

Chapter 69 – Tinder Date #16, Part Two

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Evening

 

Anna’s spring break has started well.  🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶  Remember?

This is her first holiday week ever as a single adult woman, with no care in the world for eight more days. I’m gonna enjoy this as much as I can!

Anna is feeling happy and Christian surely plays a part in that.

Still can’t believe that crazy selfie he sent me, though.

Anna had insisted for days he send her a picture with a smile, teeth showing. She wanted to make sure Christian had teeth, what else? A nice smile is such a turn on, after all!

So, tonight she’s finally going to meet that very, very short, chubby, sixty-five-year-old jolly grandpa with a pink complexion, a forced smile and eyes wide open. Like one of Snow White’s little darlings. Bald, with a few long hairs sticking up his head against the backlight.

Not at all like in his other pics. Haha.

Clueless selfie. He’s such a guy!

Endearing. Some clueless guys are simply endearing.

 

Ding!

15:00   On my way. 😊 But I forgot to bring my scarf. Delayed flight. Will send you a message once I’m onboard. 😊

Yay! Looking forward to seeing you. Have a safe flight! 😊 About the cold, don’t worry, I’ll bring you one of my mom’s gift-project scarves.

Great. Thanks so much! 😊 What’s the best way to get the hotel?

 

She sends him detailed directions. Ha! It’s pretty straightforward. Isn’t he supposed to be a world traveller?! And Helsinki is so tiny!

 

15:50   Can always get lost. 😊 Can you leave a trail of breadcrumbs?

15:58   Funny guy! I’ll leave you a trail of smiles. If you get lost, text me and I’ll come and save you.

16:20   Will do. Just put me in your bicycle basket. 😊 Boarding soon. Take a power nap!

Of course I will!  😊

 

D-evening has now come and Anna’s ready to mingle. Yay!

She wanted to wear a skirt, but since it is 0°C outside, she’s chosen black slacks and a blue jeans shirt. Hold-ups underneath. High-heeled leather Army-style Vagabond boots on her feet, and to warm her up, a new navy Didriksson’s parka, her favorite scarf and matching gloves (she doesn’t like wearing hats – no).

Loose hair and a happy smile.

She is looking good and feeling awesome!

 

19:20   The eagle has landed. And can’t find his luggage!

 

Anna is just waiting around. Getting restless. I can’t wait any longer!! Can you?

20:10   Found my suitcase! And… I’m in Helsinki!!!! Heading for hotel. Will call you when I am there. 😊 Really, really nice to be back. And can’t wait to see you.

Tervetuloa! Xx 😊😊

 

Ohhh! I’m too excited to wait around the house.

She walks to Mr. Ex’s place, wishes the teens a good holiday – with big hugs – and borrows the dog for the walk up to the hotel.

 

There has been lots of subtle teasing from both lately. And from his side “cough, cough and splutter,” too.

A funny man…

…With a cold!

Where does he find the motivation to get up from bed and catch a flight? Haha – I did ask him if he wanted to postpone his trip, but no.

So, playing nurse on a date, am I?

 

20:15   I’m wearing my snow boots. Don’t want to break more bones!

Better safe than sorry. I’m wearing casual. Let’s match?

Yes! Don’t wear heels. 😊 Slippery out there.

 

Anna and James Bond take brisk steps through the Kolmiopuisto park, towards Kamppi. Cute doggie! It’s drizzling and dark, but who cares??

Soon, soon, soon!

Yes!

Christian has put in so much effort so far – like guys who know what they are doing in the dating game. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying his attention. She smiles, with a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight.

I’m a single woman now – and my date is here.

Yay, yay, yay!!

 

20:49   OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

 

Game on!!

She’s standing outside his hotel and can’t wait to see him…

Literally she looks at her watch 21:15? Seriously? Where is this guy??

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. D-Evening

(The snow is falling gracefully here in Tampere as I write this chapter, looking out the windows at the beautiful scenery of my parents’ backyard).

 

 

Chapter 68 – Tinder Date #16, Part One

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Afternoon

 

Anna is feeling as peppy as a little girl on Christmas morning since she woke up and jumped out of bed.

She cannot believe they are finally going to meet face to face after three weeks of enthusiastic chatting on Whatsapp – such heart-warming interaction. Sweet and witty! Back and forth between Finland and Germany.

Ahhh…

What if Christian really is a special person??

Please be!!

Please… Don’t disappoint me.

Well, his texts and phone calls have been quite impressive – I’ll give him that much… Expectations are high. Just saying.

Anna, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You’ll know soon enough. 

 

If there’s one thing our Anna has learned from her previous fifteen dates, it’s that you never know what the chemistry (or lack thereof) will be like, until you spend some time together in person.

Yes.

She’s found that interesting messages usually make for an interesting person, and phone calls already give you half an accurate first impression.

Definitely.

But, you’ve gotta meet live, really… Spend time together!

Sometimes it only takes ten seconds to know.

But can the attraction grow on you as he shows you the different sides of himself little by little?

Or the opposite? Haha – surely.

It takes time to know people.

 

Then, there’s something else about guys. They have traditionally been considered the stronger, braver gender, but sometimes I think they seem to have interest in a lady, but they just quit way too fast.

Reasonable men won’t pursue a lady if they don’t think they stand a chance. It’s as if their energy is limited, so they need a clear/mysterious sign to see that it’s worth putting in the effort.

This little Love Game is harder than it seems! Gosh.

And more fun.

And more frustrating.

And the winning prize the best there can be (but remember to put in the work to keep the prize alive through the years).

Ahhh… Anna sighs.

Ahhh…

 

It’s like the birds and their back and forth dance of love. We’re just the same!

You chat, he rings you up, you laugh together. You go a little silent – but just a little! You show interest, and then go about your normal daily business.

You live life to the full. Go on many dates, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Never! Not before he will…

He writes again, he pursues you. He finds you interesting and doesn’t go AWOL. You’re active and happy in life.

And thinking of him.

You send him a new message – show him he easily comes back to your mind. Awww. He writes to you for hours on end. Makes you laugh like at the circus. The chat flows. It feels good for both of you.

You send a couple of selfies. Tell him about your day. Wow – he’s interested! He comments. It seems like he cares and finds you adoring for some reason. Expectations are on the rise. You say Good Night 💋, he says Sweet Dreams Xx – and you sleep with a huge smile on your face. Feeling warm and nice.

It’s hot – I’ll open the window.

Sometimes both of you go silent for longer hours and you can’t really know – but you’re hoping you’re on his mind, too. Both are investing time and attention – but playing it just a teeny bit cool, as well. Just to make it more exciting.

This seduction dance goes on for days, weeks or months in some cases.

In theirs, time flies, and the three weeks since they matched on Tinder and started chatting are complete. The awaited D-Day is today. D-evening, actually.

They are going to meet up in person in six hours. Sex, på svenska.

 

Anna finds attraction, romance, passion and love amazing. Maybe it’s happened to her three-four times since she was eleven years old?

That’s why she has to be so picky. You can’t share all that with just anyone. It’s gotta be special. He’s gotta feel like the One. He’s gotta put in the effort and not be a quitter.

 

OK, I’m 40 now.

You fall in love with someone (or the same One) once per decade. That’s not much at all!! Maybe it happens more often as you grow older and approach your end?? Live before it’s too late?? OMG. Fingers crossed.

 

The clock is ticking, and as you can see, all kinds of thoughts are rushing through Anna’s excitable mind as she’s relaxing at home, listening to music on her record player, thinking of what outfit to wear. Singing, humming, swinging to the tune.

She’s on holiday – yay! Hiihtoloma. Her flat is looking awesome – everything is so new – now clean, as well.

 

Ahhh… I should go and set the table. If Christian and I don’t find a restaurant open, we can always come here and have the veggie soup…?

The one I ordered from Mr. Ex – she giggles.

Pedro makes the best veggie soup ever – he’s such a great cook! First, he carries two heavy grocery bags full of fresh vegetables and legumes from the grocery store. Twenty different sorts, for sure. Then, he sits there in the kitchen – a whole day peeling, slicing and chopping the greens. His late mother’s recipe from Rio Grande do Sul.  Extremely healthy. Delicious!

In the last year of their marriage, he would make it whenever she asked him to, while sipping chimarão. She’d freeze different portions of the soup and have them throughout the week.

Last time she went to his home to pick up the dog, she bought a huge pot of the magical soup he’d just made. He laughed at it, but OK, agreed. And gave her the recipe for any future need.

Anna defroze it over the night and tasted it this morning. It seemed a little bland, for some reason, but no problem! She’s chopped garlic, onions, celery and lots of ginger herself, being careful not to touch the garlic so her fingertips won’t stink and be a turn off.

She’s fried it all up and added it to the boiling soup. Must be perfect now.

Ha! I can make soup, too!

 

Uh…Where was I?

Ahhh… daydreaming about tonight’s date. And the Love Game. Mmm.

You talk, you smile, you’re both polite. You look at each other.

Then, look down, fast. In a feminine way.

You have some soup, you smile again, say something interesting. Laugh at his jokes.

The expectation slowly rises. There’s flirting. A little blushing.

He’s cute. He’s sm💗rt. His smile is nice. You touch his arms lightly. There is energy in the air – loads – and he can feel that you like him. His peacock feathers open up. Wide open. You melt.

It takes two to tango.

To tango, to salsa, to samba. To zumba? Definitely to cha-cha-cha.

Well, let’s see what happens.

(Tonight, I promise!!)

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. D-Day and only six hours to wait!

 

 

Chapter 63 – In the Middle of the Night

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

 

Day 62

 

Back home from her daughter’s Senior Dance and it was so amazing!

My little princess is all grown now. Capable, strong. With the innocent, perfect beauty of youth – soul and skin.

Ah – to be young again and know how to appreciate it!

To be honest, Anna is feeling quite young herself. She is careful, works out, eats right. The lower-carb lifestyle makes her feel extra energetic.

In fact, she’s feeling so pigg  (alert in Swedish) that she starts cleaning the house around midnight.

It’s good to do things a day earlier than planned – how very Finnish of her.

That way one can enjoy more free time the next day. Multi-tasking is fun, too, so she answers Christian’s messages.

 

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!
.
Here’s one! Here you go 😊:
 .
.
2:13   Wow! Looking great.
Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it. 😊😊
 
Ah, before I forget, remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??
 .

.

2:20   Oh, you have great memory. Amazing.

Phew. I thought I was going mad!

Yes, English muffins.

Yum. You have excellent taste.

You like cakes? Maybe I could bake something quick and easy.

Sure. But I don’t have a sweet tooth. What is your speciality?

Korvapuusti. Literal translation: a slap on the ear.

Hahaha. Ouch!! I felt that.

They’re actually the best cinnamon buns in the world. A Finnish recipe. What tea do you usually drink? English people drink a lot of tea! How can one be that thirsty?

2.21   Haha. Yes. Decaf. Also like camomile, peppermint – Chinese tea too. White, no sugar.

Did you find the teas you like in Finland?
My mom always complains that the ones over here are not as good as there.
.
.

Well…. I did notice. Not much choice.

There’s an Intense Mint sort that is wonderful. Maybe you could bring a stash of your own tea to keep some in my flat. How intimate is that, huh? 😊

Oh….very!! 😊

Should be drinking champagne but don’t want to make you feel bad.

Why champagne, what’s the occasion? And I won’t feel bad…

A glass to celebrate meeting you.

Ah, that’s too sweet. Now you’ll have to bring it. And I’ll have a glass with you. Celebrate meeting you!

Champagne and English muffins. A good combination. 😊

2.31   Tomorrow – wow. About 40h from now. 😊 Hey, you’ll never ever guess what I’m doing. But I’ll give you three tries.

Ok.
Guess 1. Here goes.
Exercising?

Nope.

Guess 2. Cleaning.

No. Already done with that. 😊

Guess 3. Writing to me? OK, that’s not my real guess. 😊
.

Guess 3. Drawing a picture?

No, no, no – too many guesses already! 😊 

Wrong again? 😔 I give up.

Taking selfie??
.

2.36   Not staying awake at this time for selfies!

A clue: It hurts a little and maybe you haven’t tried it yet.

Oooh.
Standing on your head?

Planking?

What is planking?

Type of exercise. To strengthen abs.

Waxing legs. Have you ever?
 .
Hahaha. Ouch! Have I waxed?
Sure. Someone did my back (don’t have a hairy back like a bear’s though).
.
Really! Did you like it?
.
Loved it.
.
Texting and waxing, huh?
Women!

Haha. But you won’t believe what happened to my friend after a Brazilian wax.
Won’t tell you now, though.

What happened?

It’s horrible. A mood killer!

Does it involve bits coming off??

Yes.

Ouch!!!!!!!

A bacterial infection, and he will need multiple plastic surgeries. Happened last month in Brazil. He posted on Facebook! Google it if you dare: Gangrene de Fournier.
.
I’m scared. Gangrene!! Googling now.
.
Oh

My

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
.

The worst. Losing all the skin everywhere. He almost died!

I’ve never heard of that before. Poor guy! I won’t be trying that anytime soon.

His luck was that he’s a military major and had prompt access to the best care at the military hospital. 😕 Life is so strong and frail at the same time.

I can’t get the images out of my head!!! Help!!!

Sorry! Just a warning for people to be careful when waxing…

Be careful!! Still see it. Burnt into my retinas!!
.

I promise to be extra careful.

Don’t want to have to visit you in hospital! To feed you grapes!

.

2:532:5Haha.

But I can still feed you grapes.

There are better things to do here than go to the hospital. Oh! I want grapes now!
.

Like play hazel eyes??

Yeah. How long can you keep eye contact with those long lashes on the way?

.

They are quite heavy. It’s crazy! Thought about cutting them.

Don’t you dare cut them!

😊

Text and wax is a new kind of multitasking for me.

Haha. Would love to see that!

Me being a clown here? My phone is all sticky!

Clown. 🤡

😊😊  Hey, did you lose our conversations from WhatsApp like me, or did you have time to back them up?

I backed them up. 😊

Wouldn’t want to lose those fun stories we were co-authoring.

They are safe!
Omg. The gangrene pics are still open on Google. Looked like something from a butcher’s window.

.

3.02   Poor friend. I hope he recovers fully! Hey, send me a cute selfie of yours? Want to see what you look like in the middle of the night.

Haha. It’ll be dark.
.
.
.
.

Click and ding!

Nice dreamy eyes. 😊

 

Wow! He does look cute. Not like that crazy smile selfie. Phew!

 

Your turn now. 😊
Waxing??
.

Whatever you fancy. You are queen of selfies. 😊

3:10   Just so you see I’m really texting and waxing.

 

Click and ding!

 

You sure are!! Very impressive. And sexy. 😊
.
3:16   Ok. Better let you get on with it.
Enjoy the rest of your waxing. If that’s possible!

And see you tomorrow. Xx

3.18   See you tomorrow! Xx
.
.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 62. Cleaning, texting & waxing, selfieing – normal multi-tasking.

 

 

Chapter 62 – Kristiina’s Vanhojentanssit

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Friday, 19 February 2016.

 

Day 61

 

Months and months of dance practice and lots of other efforts, such as searching for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes, planning the perfect hairdo and make up – and the day has finally arrived!

The whole family is very excited with tonight’s special event.

Kristiina woke up at 6 a.m. to go to the hairdresser’s, taking with her the deep-red dress she is going to wear. She’ll be dancing in front of her whole school this morning and in front of all of us, the parents and extended family, in the evening.

Kristiina’s dance partner is her best friend Babel, a tall Syrian genius of a young man who’s grown up in Finland.

 

“Oh, mom! What if I make mistakes??”

Anna and Kristiina hug each other bye/see you later.

“It’s normal to feel a little nervous, my darling. But if you make any mistakes, just smile with your back straight, turn your head slightly to the side, let your gorgeous hair fly in the air, and I promise your false steps won’t matter that much. Believe me, linda…

What people will notice is how confident, beautiful and happy you are.” Anna reassures her.

 

Today is the Vanhojentanssit day in all Finnish upper secondary schools – the Ball of The New Seniors, a formal prom that celebrates the passage of the second-year students to high school seniors.

And it is absolutely beautiful!


 

So far, it feels that the best days since Anna’s separation have all started and ended with Christian’s messages. Today couldn’t be any different. Yay!

 

10:26   Morning. Still rough today but hopefully will turn the corner.

It’s your last day at school so I wish you a good one! See you in 2 days (cough cough). 🙂

10:37   Thanks. That’s sweet of you to remember. 🙂 Can’t believe I’ll see you in two days. Hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon!

 

Teacher Anna is sitting with her whole school after lunch, watching a couple dozen of their countryside students dance graciously – though a bit stiffly. She feels emotional as she looks at them.

The beauty and the innocence of youth… May they be blessed and lead healthy lives, learning to be content in their search for happiness!

 

She’s grown used to sharing all kinds of things with Christian, so she sends him a video of the dancers.

14:43   I’m sure I’ll cry when see my daughter tonight! Felt like crying when I saw these pupils who aren’t even mine.

15:00  Ahh. That’s sweet. Better get the tissues ready!! 🤧 They have obviously been practicing hard.

One of those pupils is really tall!! Must be a basketball player. 😊

 

15:51   Hi! Going for the coffee power nap now to then get ready to see my very own princess dance tonight! 😊💃

Don’t forget the hankies. 😊

Yeah… I wouldn’t want to mess up my makeup!

Btw, can you see my surnames on WhatsApp? Or does my name appear to you in the way you’ve saved it?

How many do you have??

You’re cute!

I see you as Princess. 😊
Princess Anna!
 .

Aww. Sweet! I have 3 (as do many South Americans). But I’m losing the last one once the divorce is through in July, my dear handsome Prince Christian.

Ahh. You’re too kind.
.
 16:00   Now, I’ve definitely gotta take that nap to then get ready. Trying to look good in less than an hour. Effectively! Very busy day since 5:30 a.m… But tomorrow I’ll just be alone, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, running and such. So, it’ll be easier to chat. I’ll send you a pic of my daughter’s dance later on. 😊
.

Great. Good luck and enjoy. 😊

Thanks, we certainly will.
 I have been sleeping such deep naps that I snore and wake up with my own noises.
 .
Haha. A little snorer? I bet it’s a cute snore though.
💋💋 One for each tattoo.
😊

Mmm 💋!

 

18:30   Waiting for the dances to start!!

mao

 

Anna sits in the audience with her mom, Riitta, son Joey, her sister Sarah (Kristiina’s godmother), niece Isabela and varamummo Liisa. They spot Mr. Pedro/Ex from a distance. Riitta cringes.

“Eurgh. Doesn’t it feel bad to see him?” Riitta asks Anna.

“No. I’m sure it’s very important for Kristiina that he’s here, mom.

“And, I’m moving on. Not looking back, but forward.” Anna assures her. “Can’t wait to meet Christian in two days. Two days, mom!

“Dating is fun.” she smiles.

And the Ball of the Seniors is astounding.

 

 

01:57   Hey. Just got up. Of course now I can’t sleep. 😊 How did this evening go?

I’m feeling a bit better. Not been eating well though. Lost my appetite, so a bit of weight loss, I guess.

02:01   Hi.

02:02   Hello! You still awake?.

2:03   Yes, have been for 21h already. Since Friday morning 5 a.m.

21 hours awake! How come?

Happy to hear you’re feeling better!

Are you ok?

Yes, fine thanks.

I think I’ve been in bed 21 hours! OK. Not that much.

Oh! I knew I was gonna clean the house on Saturday – just decided to do it after the dance ball instead. This way, when I wake up, I’ll only have some minor things to do. 😊

How was it? Hope you wake up late. You are on holiday after all. 😊

Yes! But I’ll have to get up at 9:50 to move the car.

Your house must be spotless now.

Almost, haha.

The ball was beautiful!! And so much bigger than at my school (I think they said 126 couples were dancing there)!

383C2B7F-DA68-434B-84F9-EED7A002B14C

2:09   Lovely picture. 😊 Did she enjoy it?

Yes! She was sooo graceful. Beautiful! Wonderful body language, smiles, eye contact. 😊 I felt so proud! Will never forget this night.

We never had balls at my school.

Neither did we. Too bad! Love Pride and Prejudice – the dances looked like they were from that time. And from Gone With the Wind.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!
 Here’s one! Here you go 😊:
 .
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2:13   Wow! Looking great. Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it.
.
Ah, before I forget!
Remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

 

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 61 to 62. Beautiful! Surreal.

 

 

Chapter 55 – The Interim

 

Tuesday, 16 February 2016.

 

Day 58

 

Anna goes away from Tinder Date #12 feeling restless.

Disappointed.

She’s been too busy and is feeling a little worried about her daughter Kristiina, as well.

Not that she’d been too excited with any of this week’s dates before meeting them. Slow chats, little effort. Just nice enough.

That’s boring!

 

I don’t understand why people even go to the trouble of going on dates with half-efforts.

Nothing we don’t devote ourselves to can become special in our lives.

We learn to love what we serve – in other words, give our best efforts to. Time, energy and affection.

On the other hand, we shouldn’t throw our pearls to pigs…!

We just can’t love what we don’t respect. We don’t appreciate what comes easy. I definitely don’t enjoy half-hearted stuff. Not for me, no.

These half-wits!!

 

Christian puts in lots of effort into our chats. Good manners, a positive attitude, respect. Flirtiness. Like Frederick – except for the flirting.

She’s feeling a little too tired when he finally sends her that smile selfie he’s been promising.

What?! So different from his other pictures. What??

Oh, what if I don’t like him in person?

 

All these last events make her ponder over things and worry a little bit. She appreciates honesty, so here it goes.

16:30   Christian, I’ve been thinking… Can I share a little?

I have a question. Is now a good time to ask?

14:37   Hi there. Yes, of course. What’s on your mind? Can I ring you up?

Oh, maybe soon. I’ve just been thinking that my separation is so recent. Imagine. It happened just last December. Yours was in September? So, maybe you can relate…

Here I am two months later… On Tinder. I’ve been on quite a few dates already, and even though most of the men were nice, I didn’t feel any attraction – except maybe with one. Still, I didn’t want to keep on seeing him.

Most of them asked for second dates, but I just didn’t feel like it. And that has made me wonder whether I’m ready for this or if I still have too much emotional baggage to deal with…

I love chatting with you every day. It’s so nice!

But I’m wondering: since I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more (and we don’t even know whether we’ll have any chemistry in person)…

Are you interested in becoming friends with me if we feel no attraction? You seem to be a great person and I could really use some new friends at this point in my life. And… if nothing else comes out of this, at least we could both gain something precious. No wasted time!

I love having a warm well-mannered person to chat with, like you. The best on Tinder. 😊

 

Anna is being very sincere. At the same time, what she’s not telling him is that based on the previous dates, she knows that some men who seem nice online are so boring in person.

Discouraging, really.

Or then so horribly dressed. Bad teeth!

I am not a superficial person. I make lots of new friends easily and respect every human being. I believe every person was made to be loved and appreciated for who they are. Everyone has their brokenness and their beauty.

Still… that doesn’t mean that I have to accept just anyone into my life, as my boyfriend!

Without chemistry there’s nothingFrederick is right.

 

Hmmm. Who should I give a chance to?? I’m not looking for a perfect guy. My expectations aren’t too high. I don’t care if he’s my age or 10 years older.

I don’t mind if he’s short, like the other women on Tinder seem to do.

I don’t care if he’s overweight – or middle class, like me. He doesn’t even have to be super handsome.

(I’ve read that it can be good for the relationship if the woman is just a little better looking than the guy. That way, the guy feels like he’s scored and the woman feels great, because she always feels pretty in his eyes. He’ll be happy with this. Value her more? I don’t know if that’s true, but it does make sense…)

 

So, what am I looking for??

Well, I certainly know what I do like.

Hmmm.

I like kindness and good manners – I hate constant bad moods.

I like interaction and good communication. Don’t really feel attracted to slow, boring men who won’t chat or talk much. They don’t ask anything – or then they do, but don’t comment on my answers.

Dull!

He doesn’t need to have a PhD, but I need intelligence. Mr. Pedro/Ex was very intelligent. I loved that about him.

Funny, hardworking, a good dad (to his kids). A good enough listener… A guy able to make decisions and take action.

A mature man. Playful, too. The man in the relationship.

Affectionate. Oh, very, very affectionate. That’s what I dream of the most.

Sigh.

Sigh.

Sigh.

Oh, gosh, does he even exist? My cousin Caleb and my brother Moses are like that. My father, too. Some of my friends, as well.

But is there someone out there for me…?

 

Am I too demanding? Do I have to lower my expectations?

Hmm. Most men my age are married. 90%. Minimum.

And the other 10% includes the lazy ones, the crazy ones, the smelly ones. The half-wits.

 

OK, maybe I could give up some of my expectations. 😯

But, but, I’m talking about who to bring into my intimate life! Not just about who to become friends with.

Into my life, my home, my heart, my body, my history, my dreams.

My present and my future.

And vice versa. Into his – value him and his.

Sigh.

 

I definitely have to do some research on the topic this week.

 

Anna, thanks for opening your heart to me. I have loved chatting with you, as well. I can see you’re a kind person, and so beautiful!

Everyone has baggage. I do, too. We’re all flawed, but we won’t know about the chemistry if we don’t meet in person. No pressure, though.

I’m interested in friendship, as well. Hopefully more. Life is good but gets lonely, like I said before. I’m coming to Helsinki just to meet you. If you’ll have me.

Work? I can work from my computer, from anywhere. You are the reason I’ll be flying there.

 

Wow, what a man.

At least this cool friendship. Fingers crossed for more. 🤞🤞🤞 I hope he’s as lovablelicious as I imagine.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 58 and five to go?

 

 

Chapter 51 – Living and Yearning

 

Monday, 15 January 2016.

 

Still Day 57

 

What a clown! Annoyed Anna is thinking as she walks back home from the second date with Christian – the wrong Christian, the American.

I’ve got to start doing my screening better.

If this is not going to add joy and affection to my life – to two people’s lives…

…it’s just pointless and a waste of time!

 

Her steps get quicker in the cold. It’s good to walk to clear her head.

But I have to be brave.

Have faith, Anna!

I won’t meet anyone if I just stay home and give no one a chance…

Keep being proactive.

 

Whom to give a chance? Hmm.

 

Christian, the Englishman, sends a message. She smiles.

21:05   Hello! I’ve had a really busy day. Sorry I’ve not been able to write/call. It sounds like you’ve had a busier day in fact!

You’re lucky you have a ‘normal’ job. Bit different in the world of start ups.

I’ve booked the Radisson Hotel for my stay on Sunday and Monday. Tuesday, Lilla Roberts. Basically it’s free time Sunday and Monday.

 

Oh! And how I yearn for love, passion and sharing the simple good things in life. It’s been so long. More than three years since I’ve felt like that.

I’m certain there are well-mannered, mature, kind men out there, also looking for someone.

There must be!

Even if most guys my age are taken.

Especially the good ones.

 

She starts jogging home to fight the cold.

There’ll be exceptions. Recently separated/divorced?

Someone like me!

Yes.

 

Her phone dings. It’s tomorrow’s date, Eli. They’re just going to have a coffee at McDonald’s on her way home from school.

Because, you see, later tomorrow evening Anna’s going on yet another date. Another coffee at yet another café near Citymarket in Ruoholahti.

A Finn and a Canadian. Should be interesting.

Ah, I have to phone mom and update her! That’s always fun.

Mom gets excited every time she hears a new story – some details left out, of course.

 

Just as Anna’s entering her building – definitely less annoyed after the fresh air and good thoughts – her phone rings. It’s Kristiina, her daughter.

“Hi, sweetheart, how are you? How are things going there at dad’s?”

“Oh, mom. I’m so stressed out!” she’s crying. Poor darling dear!

 

It’s just one of those days.

Vivendo y aprendendo. Living and learning, living and yearning.

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. Still day 57 since moving out.