Chapter 78 – The Student Prince

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

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Ein zwei drei vier
Lift your stein and drink your beer

Drink! Drink! Drink!
To eyes that are bright as stars when they’re shining on me!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To lips that are red and sweet as the fruit on the tree!

Here’s a hope that those bright eyes will shine
Lovingly, longingly soon into mine!
May those lips that are red and sweet,
Tonight with joy my own lips meet!

Drink! Drink!
Let the toast start!
May young hearts never part!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Let every true lover salute his sweetheart!

Drink! Drink! Drink!
To arms that are white and warm as a rose in the sun!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To hearts that will love one, only when I am the one!
Here’s a hope that those soft arms will twine
Tenderly, trustingly soon around mine!

All I ask is the right to see those smiling eyes beguiling me
Drink! Drink!
Let the toast start!
May young hearts never part!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Let every true lover salute his sweetheart!
Let’s drink!

 .
.
.
 
 .

Tuesday, 23 February 2016.

 

She visits her sister Sarah, for a late lunch with her niece and nephews, mom Riitta, and her teens Kristiina and Joey.

“Anna mamma, you are glowing,” says Kristiina, laughing and giving her a hug, “How did your date go? Was that Christian nice?”

“Oh, yes. Very!”  Anna smiles “In fact, I’m having my third dinner with him tonight. I’ll tell you a little more during the weekend, OK darling? What about you and Joey? How are your holidays going?”

 

Yes, Anna mamma, you are glowing, girl! She agrees as passes the entry hall mirror. So good to feel happy!

 

In the evening, Christian and Anna’s arms twine. They are cooling off, looking at the panoramic view from the sauna terraces on the eigth floor of her building, before going back in for more löyly.

“I missed you, Anna!”

“Oh, did you now? Already!??” their lips meet “I did too, Christian, but just a little bit.”

“Ouch,” he says slapping her bottom, “Is that so?”

“Ouch! Christian!!!”

 

It’s movie night now.

“Here are the Fiesta Salads you’ve ordered, Madame!” he says and then inquires, “What are we watching, Annita?”

“Thank you, sweet guy! Let’s eat as we watch The Student Prince? It’s another classic my dad taught me to love.” Oh! Dad, the pastor… Very genuine and strong in his faith. He’d have a heart attack if he knew I’m sleeping with the Englishman… Sigh. But I’m an adult now. I’ve gotta figure this out for myself.

“OK. What is the movie about?”

“Oh! It’s so beautiful, Christian. Such great music! You’ll like it.

“It’s about this prince called Karl, who is sent off to the university in Heidelberg to learn how to socialize. He makes friends there and falls for Kathie, the barmaid. The two are soul mates, but when the king is at his deathbed, he…”

“Don’t tell me the whole movie, Anna!”

“No. No spoilers. You’re right.” — she smiles heartily, poking his nose.

 

“I still can’t believe you had me go to MacDonald’s!! That’s it. Tomorrow I’m taking you on a proper date. Somewhere nicer. Gosh!”

“But the salad is delicious. You’ll see!”

 

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The movie starts. They eat, laugh and 🎶 drink the rest of the champagne. She sings along a little. They pause the movie to take the food away.

They chat, smile, laugh, hug, cuddle. It feels sooooo warm and nice. They play the movie again. They look at each other and start kissing passionately. Things heat up. They pause the movie for some loving. Then, he envelops her to chat a little more, while stroking and kissing her hair and her cheeks.

“I’m still hungry, Anna! Do you have anything light for dessert? Where are those grapes you keep promising, huh?”

“Oh, yes. We still haven’t had the grapes!”

 

They sit up on her bed and he mouthfeeds her, teasingly. Touching the cold fruit first against different parts of her hot skin. Mmmm. Looking at her adoringly.

Drink! Drink! Drink! To lips that are red and sweet as the fruit on the tree?! — She smiles at the thought.

 

After a while, he is asleep – the poor guy is still fighting his terrible cold – but Anna wants to finish watching the movie. She presses play.

She cries – alone – during the most emotional scenes. During the song I’ll Walk with God.

So beautiful!

A prince has a beautiful romance before he must choose between his country and his own happiness…? Noooo! So sad! I need to cry some more…

The next day Anna is looking thoughtful again and Christian asks her why.

“Oh, Christian. It’s the movie.”

 

“Oh? I fell asleep. Did you finish it? Naughty! I wanted to finish it with you.”

Giving up personal happiness for duty?

“Maybe it’s better that you didn’t. It’s so beautiful, and yet so sad!”

“It’s just a movie, Annita. Don’t be sad.” He hugs her.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Premonition? Please, no!

 

DRINKING SONG (aka DRINK, DRINK, DRINK)
From the Broadway Operetta "The Student Prince" (1924)
(Sigmund Romberg / Dorothy Donnelly)

 

 

Chapter 73 – Crush at First Sneeze

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Just Past Midnight, 22 February 2016.

 

Game Time!

 

Ah, where were we?

Yes. Christian loads the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. “My job! You did all that cooking already.”

“Btw, I bought the champagne at the airport – like I promised – to celebrate finally meeting my mysterious Anna! Shall we have a glass tonight?”

“Yes! And, Christian…?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still have some energy left? We could play one of those card games I told you about.” Somehow her voice sounds so feminine and sweet in her own ears. Wow, where is that coming from? I’m such a tough lady!

“Of course. I’m feeling much better now after your delicious veggie soup.” He smiles – looking better indeed.

“Great. So why don’t we sit on the sofa? Have our champagne there?”

 

Christian has been pleasant company for dinner. Anna feels good around him, but thinks he is quite mysterious, a bit like Finnish guys? It’s hard to know what they are thinking…

Just a little bit of flirting since the soup?

He is easy to talk with, nonetheless, and very well-mannered. It surely feels as though they have known each other for a year? Is that how it feels when there’s chemistry?

I should be stronger. Still unsure about this guy. The meal conversation was just OK. Nothing too impressive. He was shy!

But why does it suddenly feel so good again?? I think it’s the good manners, the dishes he’s loaded into the washer.

And… he’s brought champagne to celebrate meeting me in person. A romantic gesture?

The mystery – the game – is a turn on. There is electricity between you, but you just don’t know what’s gonna happen. Or even how much he likes you. 

Anna, you like him, but you want to see if he’ll win you over fully. Keep up – in person – the good work he’s put in through the messages and calls. The challenge is a turn on, too. Did you know that?

OK. Let’s see how he’ll do at my board games. See if he really is smart.

 

Anna switches off the dining table lights. The living room is as not as bright anymore, as they sit on her couch to play Ugh over the wooden antique chest with the added wheels. She informs him he’ll learn the games by playing – because she will tell him the rules as they move along.

He wins the first game, she sits closer to him. Side by side. She wins the next, their legs are touching slightly now. More relaxed and familiar with each other? There is tension in the air – that much I’m certain of.

 

“Atishoo. Aaaatisho. Oh, excuse me!” He goes to the bathroom to blow his nose.

Cute guy! He flew in to see me – with champagne – despite his cold. Oh, Anna! I think you may have a little crush.
.
“Sorry for that. I’m back. So… the game is tied. 1 x 1. One more round? The winner takes it all and I’m gonna beat you again.”
.
“No way you’ll win,” she defies him, with a completely different kind of scoring system she’s keeping in her mind.
.
🎼  We’ll have a good time, baby, don’t you worry
And if we’re still playin’ around, boy, that’s just fine. 🎶 I think!!

 

Sorry, Anna can’t remember who won the challenge. Eurgh.

Oh! Who cares! The games are really fun, but the whole point is obviously just being able to sit very close to each other. You know as much, right?

🎼  Give in this time and show me some affection…
We shouldn’t even think about tomorrow
Sweet memories will last a long, long time  🎶

 

The game ends. They have a laugh and he says something. Whatever – it is not important. Christian stands up to take their glasses back to the kitchen.

“It’s getting pretty late, I should get going,” he tests her.

“Really? Let’s play another game! This one here, Love Letter. I’m on holiday, remember? So there’s no hurry. No alarm clocks for tomorrow,” she tests him back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Please?”

“OK, so let me refill a glass of champagne for us to share. Wow. This is the cleanest fridge I have ever seen.” He stands there, admiring the insides.

“Stop it, you’re just saying that. I haven’t cleaned it for weeks!”

“And you’ve bought grapes!” Christian adds. “Haha. Naughty! But remember I’m the sick one, so you’re gonna do all the mouth-feeding.”

“You’re funny, Christian. That will be dessert for later. If you win!! We shall see.”

 

Love Letter ends and Christian leans back on the couch. She turns towards him and lightly touches his blue SuperDry shirt, complimenting him on his choice of outfit.

He grabs her hand and their fingers intertwine. She smiles. Maybe blushes just a little bit. They say a few things. Anna can’t remember what, but she remembers how she felt with him. The growing desire. His long warm fingers. His mouth.

The flirting is intense now. Finally! Magnetism draws them together, and now they are kissing and kisssing. Amidst the zillion butterflies fluttering their amazing little wings in the air. Zizzzz. This feels so electric. Zizzz.

They look at each other. Zizzzz. Deep gazes. Zizzzz. The desire is so intense. Zizzzz……….

“Anna, you’re so beautiful, sexy girl.” clothes being dropped everywhere.

.
🎼  Let’s get excited, we just can’t hide it
I’m about

Oh boy, I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you

I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you 🎶

🎼  I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can’t get enough
And if you move real slow, I’ll let it go
I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it
I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), and I just can’t hide it (you got me burning up)
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it (yeah)
I’m so excited (how did you get to me?), and I can’t deny, no, no, no (I’ve got to give it up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)I know, I know, that I want you
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), oh boy (you got me burning up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh) Hey, hey I think I like it (yeah)
I’m so excited (how did you get to me?), you got me (I’ve got to give it up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh) Oh, ooh I like it boy
I’m so excited (look what you do to me), oh, you got me burning up (burning up)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, ow)  🎶
.

© 2017 rf

.
 
 
Obs. 🎼  (Oh, oh, oh, oh) 🎶
.
I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

 

Chapter 70 – Tinder Date #16, Part Three

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-WTF!?

 

Exhilarated Anna smiles. She’s got a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight. I’m single again…

No.

Let me rephrase that: I’m single and hot and full of energy and life. Cute! Fun. Playful. Kind.

Single and ready to mingle – she giggles – with a big heart…

 

…And my date is here. Yay, yay, yay!!

 

20:49   OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

 

Gonna meet charming prince Christian any minute now. Yahoo! (Hmm. Hope he’s not too much of a frog).

Game on?

The Love Game. One can’t win if one doesn’t dare play. Try, Anna, try! Risk it.

Game on!!

 

Anna is standing outside Christian’s hotel, and her body is singing… 🎼 I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it – I’m about to lose control and I think I like it… 🎶

Yay!!

She literally can’t wait to see him anymore. Big smile, bubbly heart and many bouncy butterflies flying in her stomach. Hopefully in his, too. They’re flying everywhere. Out of control. Haha. YOLO, yeah! That’s what I’m talking about, babe.

They’ve agreed to meet around 20:30.

She looks at her watch and…

...21:15? Seriously?! Where is this man?? I thought Englishmen were punctual.

Interesting…?! Hmmm.

 

21:20   Hey there, I’m outside your hotel with my son’s dog. James Bond also wants to meet you. 😊 Are you almost ready?

 

It’s getting a little cold in the drizzling rain for little 007 – but no reply from Christian. What’s going on?

 

 

21:37   I’m so sorry. I got lost!!! I’m at Oluthuone Kaisla.

 

WTF?? I thought he was dying to meet me! What is he doing in a bar instead???

 

21:38   Weren’t you at the hotel?

I got lost.

I’m in front of the Radisson Blu Royal. Is this your hotel? I was going to pick you up from here, wasn’t that what we planned?

I’m so tired and ill. I’ll get a taxi.

 

Oh! He’s feeling ill? Oh.

We’re gonna lose each other if he starts moving around.

 

A taxi. Where to?

 

He doesn’t have my address. And I’m not at home.

 

Can you pick me up, please? So sorry! Everyone I asked pointed me towards the wrong hotel.

I can come to the bar – but if I come there, will you be there?

I’m not moving. I’m lost. I’ll be waiting for you here. Please! And, sorry again. ☹️

 

Anna walks a km down to Kaisla and waits by the door on Vilhonkatu. She can’t go in with the dog, so she tries calling him.

Line busy.

??

She starts feeling suspicious. Almost irritated. Not quite, but almost. Sigh. I’ll give him the benefit of a doubt. He can probably explain this.

 

22:03   Are you at the bar? I’m outside Kaisla now, with 007. Can’t see you from here.

 

He calls her and says he’s coming outside in a minute.

But still nothing.

This is too weird! Eurgh!?!?!?!!!

Is he even where he says he is???

 

About five minutes go by before Anna asks some people who are coming out of the establishment if there possibly is another entrance to the bar. “Yes, there is,” they answer with a friendly smile.

Ahhh. That explains it. Phew.

Well… maybe!

 

She walks James Bond round the block to Kaisaniemenkatu. She spots a tall man standing by the tram stop with a suitcase and his back towards her. Feeling feisty now.

Is he even who he says he is?? Be brave, now.

Jack Chi 007 – good doggie – will sniff him and scare him off if he’s a bad guy!!

She approaches him and says, “Hi, Christian?” with a careful smile.

He turns slowly.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. D-WTF – it really happened like this, folks!

I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

 

(Hey, You Guys!)

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Timeless, maybe.

 

Sidenotes To The Guys

 

My book has been called female-oriented. I don’t think I agree. I guess it depends on who you are and what you’re looking to find when you read me. Hopefully, you’re finding something worthwhile.

In my experience, many men are as sensitive – or even more – than the average woman. Romantic, meek, adorable – strong and wonderfully manly, at the same time.

Some men I know (and some new stranger-friends) are reading these chronicles and sending me comments – giving me all kinds of thought/emotion-provoking feedback. I really, really appreciate it, guys.

Thank you for your valuable input, your time and interest, your intelligence and depth. Thank you for letting our souls touch a little bit, as our journeys cross paths. The world should have more beings like you. I’m lucky to have if just a fraction – you’re heroes, and you make a difference! Like you can’t imagine.

But that was not what I intended for this chapter. This parenthesis.

So……….

 

Hey, you guys (as in Goonies)!

This book is not a How-to-Find-a-Lady-Online, nor a How-To-Understand-a-Tinderella kind of book. Nonetheless, if you’re attentive, you will capture some indirect tips in my writings. Dating, food for thought, some thoughts on being a decent human being…

Well, it all comes down to this.

Be human, yes, be flawed and powerfully vulnerable – by all means. Be yourself, but seek to become the best version of yourself – even if just one tiny step at a time. We won’t respect ourselves otherwise. I hear that progress equals happiness, and I agree.

(What’s our alternative? Growing older and sadder with time? A downhill trip to the grave? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s meant to be).

Try. Succeed. Stumble and fall. Err and then dust off, chin up and repeat. A small step, but a small step in the right direction. It piles up and amounts to much. Get help, if needed.

(I often need help. Hugs + talking are the best kind!)

 

Whether you’re single and happy to stay so, or longing for a partner and all the love in the world. Whether you’re happily married, or in the process of deciding to divorce.

I’m sure that whatever the case, you want to feel alive, very ALIVE!

Vulnerable, yet mighty. Responsible, but true. You want to be gentle and loved and respected. And wild!

You want to be needed, missed and admired – to hug her and make her laugh, make her life happier and lighter (whoever the word ‘she’ represents here).

You thrive in having something to offer and living a purpose-filled life. And you have lots to give. We need each other.

Be true, be true, be true, darling. “To thine own self be true.” Go through the process, but get there, don’t give in. I believe in you.

If you were suddenly in your deathbed, would you say, “I wish I had lived a life true to myself – not the life that others expected of me. I wish I had expressed my feelings, and I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.”?

If not, you’re doing great. Yay!

 

And to those of you in hopes of finding a special gal (the same works for keeping her, I guess).

If you’re not ready for dating, don’t do it. Wait a little. Work on yourself. But when you’re ready…

Go for it 100%!

I can’t promise you the lady you like will like you back, but I can promise you this:

Women like attitude (without the arrogance). Women respond to self-confidence and self-respect. Remember to respect them, too.

Women like guys who are wise and cool and brave. Decisive. They know what they want and dare to try. Men who have the courage to give their best, put in the effort and risk rejection – even if it hurts. (Aren’t guys supposed to love adventure and uncertainty? Hunting? Battlefields? Conquering? A quest, a fair fight with dignity, any way??)

You don’t have to be James Bond, but when you decide to go dating/to keep the lady, don’t just be yourself – but your best!

Don’t do anything half-heartedly, with meager efforts, out of fear. Yuk!

You might be super skinny or short, super fat or old or whatever. Kind of poor? I don’t care.

You need time? Ask for it. Communicate.

Have goals, be working on your goals. Going somewhere. Be affectionate – romantic sometimes. Don’t be mean. I think what she really cares about is the fact that you try hard – even though what you really want is to succeed.

Put on a great newish shirt or a casual outfit, wash your hair, trim your beard, back straight, smile! Treat her with respect and admiration. Listen to her a little more than you talk yourself. Care! Look into her eyes – practice eye contact. Be a perfect gentleman. Well-mannered, at least.

But dare to hold her hands in the second part of the date. To kiss her good-bye. Text her back soon! The world is quick nowadays, and if you dormir no ponto, if you give it too much time… If she’s really special – uh-oh!

Read her body language and watch out for the signs. Is she touching her hair as she looks at you? Leaning her head? Retouching her lip gloss? Is she touching your arm lightly? Is her smile genuine? Does she think you’re funny? Can you sense if you’re being smart and interesting in her eyes?

 

And what if you don’t like her? That’s OK, too. Others will. Just like there will be a person who will like you. Your unique self.

Change the game, but be a gentleman anyway. Don’t be a jerk – thank her for a lovely evening. Wish her good luck!

Leave your best impression wherever you go – be it a yes or a friendly no – and she’ll respect you for it. You’ll respect yourself. And that’s powerful!

(I respect all the times Mr. Ex was a good man. All the times he was true and vulnerable, a decent guy. The moments when he was his best. I’ll remember. And most of all, I respect him for not wasting any more of my time and daring to ask for a divorce. For finally making up his mind. Thank you, Pedro.)

If you’re not for each other, at least you did your part and treated her with dignity. Why would you regret that?

But don’t give her half-efforts, excuses or laziness, BS. You deserve to leave a better impression than that.

Your statement, your signature.

That’s just one girl’s very humble opinion. And I’m as fallible as you.

 

XOXOXOXO,

Anna

(And my real name to others).

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Today I received this cute message. Here it goes for you, too:

 

Life is as passing as pain.

As beautiful as love.

As simple as me.

As important as you.

Therefore fight, forgive, love, conquer and enjoy every second of it.

If you have to choose between being happy or being important, choose being happy,

Because important you already are! 😊

 

 

Chapter 26 – Ding! Plo-Plim. Ding! Ding!

 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016.

 

Day 45

 

Ding!

Plo-Plim!

Anna feels enthusiastic every time her phone dings.

Ding!

 

Yay…! Connecting with new people has been so interesting…

Sharing ideas, discussing big subjects, some intellectual topics, too. Being a little playful – a little flirty at times, of course! It’s all novel stuff, so our Anna can’t help but get all wired up.

There’s a time for everything, and this is the first time that Anna is free, you see? Free to explore, free to rediscover herself. Who am I now?

I don’t know, but this sure is fun! Yay.

Ding!

 

Don’t get me wrong, my dearest reader. When someone conquers her passionate heart, she’s ever the loyal and adoring type – aren’t twenty years proof enough, huh?

It’s exciting, too, being that passionate. And she’s undoubtedly a romantic daydreamer.

Ah…!

Plo-Plim!

 

Yet, her personality type adores to explore.

Excitement, creativity, laughter, flexibility, sensations, curiosity, energy, drama, novelty intelligence, feelings, fun and unpredictability. That’s what I’m talking about, baby. That’s the kind of stuff that delights her.

Ah…!

Ding!

 

Besides, I’ll let you in on a little secret now.

Anna has yet to understand that about herself, but truth be told, our Anna’s a bit of a drama queen. She needs a couple of challenges from time to time to ignite her adventurous problem-solving mode.

Yes, she even needs a little drama in her love life. Otherwise she’ll feel bored.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 45 since moving out.

Chapter 24 – Let Him Down Easy Like This

“So don’t be afraid – you are worth more than many sparrows.”

 

February 2016 and before.

 

There’s a little birdie flying in the Finnish sky. Clouds or no clouds, sunshine or rain, our sparrow spreads its wings and glides away. She soars, back-flips, twirls and dives.

She’s free, you see?

After a long long time, she’s happily – finally – free to fly.

She wasn’t his prisoner. No, they were friends – both in the same cage. Then came craze and maturity and now they’ve both been freed to age with dignity.

There are other birds out there. Flying her way and she theirs.

“No! Go away – you’re not him.” Let’s see what happens when she finds 16.

  🐦

 

Tears will come later. More longing. But truth be told, Anna has been feeling relieved and delivered.

The last two years of her marriage were all about friendship, kindness, and awkward final attempts to reconnect. A few last fights. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Of course it was shocking when, in the summer of 2015, it felt as though he was far away and as good as gone already. They were spending a long holiday in Majorca with the teens, but no, no connection. Just a huge unsurpassable gap.

July to September flew (ha-ha). Then one day in the latter, they were sitting in her car in the afternoon. He touched on the topic of a separation – again…

And Anna couldn’t take even one more of his candid, unruffled reminder-threats! Yet, it looked as though he had accepted the truth and was at peace.

At that moment, she searched her soul, to its most unerring part and back, faced the tweet 🎵, let herself feel fully what she really, truly felt. And then very calmly, very lovingly said:

“Pedro, I think we should stay together. We have our teens, all the memories, our photo albums, all our victories. We have just moved back into our renovated/redecorated flat. The teens have settled in their new schools and made friends. We’ve found new jobs, paid our debts and can start saving again.

“I don’t want a divorce – and I love you. We have all we need to grow closer together, open up our hearts once more to each other after our many storms. And just be happy, leaving the past in the past.

Having said that, the only reason, the absolute only reason why I’ll want a divorce is…

…if you look into your heart of hearts and know – you just know that you don’t love me enough. You don’t love me like I deserve to be appreciated. Like everybody does.

In that case, I do want a divorce.

But, I won’t ask for it. You will have to be brave enough and make the decision. To take that leap of faith.

A flight of faith?

 

It felt amazing to speak with such veracity. They finally connected.

And a week later he asked for the divorce.

 

It was a slow-paced process – that dragged on for years – the whole thing. Now, four months after that earnestness, Anna has been living in her adorable flat for almost six weeks.

All the tears seem so 2015 to her! Tears that purified her being, nonetheless. She feels washed up and freed.

A new beginning! Há males que vêm para o bem.

A blessing in disguise. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Even in the Finnish skies.

© 2017 rf

🐦

 

P.S.alm 84

How lovely is your dwelling place… My soul yearns, even faints… my heart and my flesh cry outEven the sparrow has found a home… Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley… they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength… Hear my prayer Lord… Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper… than dwell in the tents of the wicked. No good thing does he withhold… Blessed is the one who trusts in you.

Chapter 1 – Separated Anna

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? The Prologue and Intro. 🙂

 

Sunday, 27 December 2015.

 

Day 7

 

Separated Anna has started to settle down in her new flat. It’s been three days since Xmas Eve and the teens have been with her since then. She’s feeling merry and she just loves spending time at their new place together.

She loves Kristiina and Joseph way more! Before here and now and beyond.

“I love you guys too much… and not nearly enough!❤️‍” is what she sometimes texts them.

Gosh, to heaven and back, to hell and back, and everywhere in between. Natural motherly love. Plain and simple.

 

Talking of feelings…

At the moment, all her tears have dried up. For now, she’s just making sound decisions and acting on them: stay strong, be happy, light, brave, and matter of fact. Nonchalant.

Fight it with sports and a healthy diet, Anna! Spend time with your teens, relatives and friends. Enjoy freedom!

OK, OK. If needed cry a little. But not too often, please! — she rolls her eyes, annoyed — If Mr. Ex doesn’t want to be with me anymore, well, too bad for him. His loss!!

Who cares about the past, right?

Anna has been through a thousand emotions in the last few months. Torrential tears, inexplicable laughter, numbness, rage, relief, doubt, fear. Just to name a few of the heart-wrenching feelings she’s had down poured all over her.

Or welled up from the deepest, most unbeknownst depths inside.

Take the night she moved out of her home, for instance. It felt so horrible that she can’t bear dwelling on it. She won’t even allow me, the narrator, to further elaborate on that either. At least not yet.

 

Unconsciously, Anna has postponed her final tears for the lost marriage to later on.

You actually can – willingly, yet unknowingly – push your grief into the future. But warning! It will catch you there when you least expect it. After all, still waters run deep. Very deep.

Anna’s storms are slowly brewing, the necessary mourning is still to come. Thunder and lightning – believe me! I, the narrator, am here in 2017, so I already know everything that’s going to happen back in 2016.

This book will seek to relate to you the story of Anna in chronological order (perhaps with a few flash forwards and -backs).

Right now she’s very determined to be happy, friendly and calm. Sweet Lord Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the donkey! Anna’s 2016 will be loaded with novelty in every way.

Hmm. There will be tough partial healing, too. But most of all, 2016 will turn out to be a blessed, fun-filled year, amazing and full of love – like she can’t imagine just yet.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 7 since moving out. New beginnings!