Chapter 14 – Be Active… Stay Happy?

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Hard work runs in the family. Granny, mom, Anna, daughter Kristiina… Sister, aunts, all the ladies!

Granny Anna (who our story’s Anna is named after) is amazing! At 93, she’s calm and very active. It’s no oxymoron, you know.

Granny, affectionately called Mummo by everyone, has survived cancer twice in the last ten years. When the doctor gave her two months to live, she asked people to pray for her cure, because she loves life and isn’t ready to die. 😍 So far, she’s been cancer-free in all her yearly check-ups. Yes!

Still living alone, every time Anna goes there unannounced, Mummo’s home is clean and tidy. She often cooks delicious lunches for twelve-fifteen of us and has lots of other pastimes, such as having coffee with friends, baking and sewing in large quantities. It’s out of this world, really.

Mom is cut out of the same cloth. Her current project: she’s hand-knitting and giving out 900+ scarves. Almost one per day, and they’re beautiful!

 

What about our Anna? Oh, she’s definitely used to being super busy, too.

In the last years, she had her family and home to take – almost – impeccable care of. A full-time job, hobbies, friends (you simply have to make time for them, don’t you). And all the while pursuing her dream to get bachelor’s and master’s degrees.

So, full-time studies, too.

She wonders why some women who neither have a job nor studies, can’t even manage to keep their home tidy!

And some single students don’t have kids, don’t work and take forever to graduate.

Anna graduated in six years.

When she had exams, she’d sleep only six nights a week. She’d study all night long after work and family, drink a Red Bull and go to the university. From there, straight to work. Great grades, happy, creative work.

Intense.

But she made it! With joie de vivre, really. And lots of playground time with constant adventures with her kids. ❤️‍

 

After graduating in 2012, the family moved around the world for a while – long story. Maybe later (or… maybe better not).

Back in Finland, she fought for a job, went on many interviews, got a teacher’s tenure position and has had time to try to start the new habit of a little jogging and going to the gym. Then came the divorce.

Gosh.

Point is, Anna’s used to being surrounded by people and very, very efficient with her time.

Yes, she’s the productive type.

Yes, it does run in the family. True.

Nevertheless…

Anna knows that she became more focused on, let’s call it ‘efficiency,’ because what she really, really longed for was to stop, as often as possible, for love and affection. ‍

Busyness is a sort of escapism. It keeps you from being too sad about reality.

 

Mummo’s a widow, she has to fill her time! It’s healthy – Anna thinks to herself.

But when you’re married and you don’t stop… is it because of the lack of romantic chemistry, the lack of that wonderful emotional bond?

Sigh.

You must fill your time with other activities. 😏

Things weren’t as they should and sex was just a hobby between Anna and Mr. Ex – like a sport of sorts. You know how to play well. You do it often. But where’s the excitement?

 

Anna’s life has changed drastically. From a full-time everything, she’s now an only-two-weeks-a-month-with-the-teens kind of mom.

Work and hobbies, too, but there’s not enough to do!!

All of a sudden she’s feeling she has too much spare time in her hands.

You see, Anna has a big, joyful heart, and she thinks she is ready to love again.

I am!!

She’s also got a dark empty flat when she turns the key in the lock after work and pushes the front door open.

A heart, a place and time.

 

And love can stop time.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Love, come and make me stop!

 

 

 

Chapter 8 – Moi

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Thursday, 14 January 2016.

 

Day 25

 

Dear Diary,

Happy New Year!

School restarted a week ago, and I’m trying hard to leave separation sadness in 2015. I wouldn’t be able to stand working feeling so disconsolate. It just drains all my mental and physical energy.

And yes! Today is Friday. Yay!!

The teens and I are going to watch a movie soon, but, but, wait, wait, wait! I still have time to write a little. ☺️

 

Over a hundred matches on Tinder so far, some nice chats since the first week, but nothing super exciting to report yet (since the Tino-disappointment😕).

Idk… Finnish guys seem so slow! Or way too private.

Non-committing, little effort, no flirting.

Yawn. 🤤

Mysterious and a bit boring.

Sorry… 😁

They send a “Moi” – hi in Finnish – or a “Beautiful smile, there,” or a dull “Hey, how’s the weekend going?” and seem to expect the lady to do all the rest of the hard work.

So, like I wrote before, easy app, but tedious human behavior… Hmm.

 

I have obviously never kissed a Finnish guy.

Probably never flirted (back) with one. Growing up off and on in South America, the only Finnish men I knew were my grandfather, my brother and my cousins. And an occasional uncle who flew in to visit.

I’ve always admired their sisu a Finnish word for strength and courage, intelligence, hard work, focus and stubbornness. 💪 

I dreamed of learning my grandparents’ language and perhaps moving here. But do I maybe see all Finnish men as brothers and cousins?

OMG, I think so!!

I’m a 39-year-old divorcée who doesn’t go to bars and lives in a country full of Finnish men. How am I ever going to find someone?

Finns don’t talk with strangers unless they’re drunk. And they look at you as though you’re crazy if you do. 😂

It’s the end.

The Apocalypse.

Haha.

Is it cultural shock, I wonder? I’m half South American, after all.

Is it my artistic nature???

I need emotions and enthusiasm – I like intensity, romance and vulnerability.

Hey you, prospect bf – you’re…

WANTED

You’ve gotta be flirty, but true. Players suck – big time.

A guy who is daring, positive, decisive, hey, that shows confidence.

(And confidence – without the arrogance, please! – is always hot).

Who cares about your size or your six-pack! There must be that yes feeling about our personalities and the way we keep on interacting… Both playfulness and depth, efforts, curiosity, purpose, butterflies in our stomachs, keep them coming. 🦋 🦋 🦋

Intelligence!

And then in person lots and lots and LOTS of hugging.

Firm, heart-warming, life-warming, time-stopping, heart-healing embraces!

And touching: natural, magnetic, spontaneous and very affectionate, the don’t-want-to-keep-my-hands-off-you kind of touch.

Grabbing, pinching, kissing, hair-tussling, butt-spanking, stroking, naps on your shoulder.

Passionate, hungry loving, fun, friendly, romantic?

Trying new things!

 

I know that is out there. It has to be!

It will take two to make it happen.

 

Still… I have been chatting a lot on Tinder because, truth is, I like being social and getting to know new people. I’d even love to make some new friends. I’m the kind who basically likes everybody until proven wrong. And that rarely happens…

I just love people!

Who they are, why they are here, what they are in pursuit of?

Has anyone broken their hearts? Do they have kids? How’s the divorce going? Are they good dads?

Am I going to be OK, too? 😖

Is it tough being a single parent and the likes.

What are their hopes and dreams? What makes their hearts beat faster? What brings the best of smiles to their faces? What makes them excited to wake up in the mornings and go to work? What drives them insane? Are they bored or in a life crisis?

Help! Are they even happy??

So many questions, but…

Teen duty calls! ❤️‍

 

Ah, P.S. Anna, stay strong. We can do this!

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 25 since moving out. What now?