Thursday, 14 January 2016.
Happy New Year!
School restarted a week ago, and I’m trying hard to leave separation sadness in 2015. I wouldn’t be able to stand working feeling so disconsolate. It just drains all my mental and physical energy.
And yes! Today is Friday. Yay!!
The teens and I are going to watch a movie soon, but, but, wait, wait, wait! I still have time to write a little. ☺️
Over a hundred matches on Tinder so far, some nice chats since the first week, but nothing super exciting to report yet (since the Tino-disappointment😕).
Idk… Finnish guys seem so slow! Or way too private.
Non-committing, little effort, no flirting.
Mysterious and a bit boring.
They send a “Moi” – hi in Finnish – or a “Beautiful smile, there,” or a dull “Hey, how’s the weekend going?” and seem to expect the lady to do all the rest of the hard work.
So, like I wrote before, easy app, but tedious human behavior… Hmm.
I have obviously never kissed a Finnish guy.
Probably never flirted (back) with one. Growing up off and on in South America, the only Finnish men I knew were my grandfather, my brother and my cousins. And an occasional uncle who flew in to visit.
I’ve always admired their sisu – a Finnish word for strength and courage, intelligence, hard work, focus and stubbornness. 💪
I dreamed of learning my grandparents’ language and perhaps moving here. But do I maybe see all Finnish men as brothers and cousins?
OMG, I think so!!
I’m a 39-year-old divorcée who doesn’t go to bars and lives in a country full of Finnish men. How am I ever going to find someone?
Finns don’t talk with strangers unless they’re drunk. And they look at you as though you’re crazy if you do. 😂
It’s the end.
Is it cultural shock, I wonder? I’m half South American, after all.
Is it my artistic nature???
I need emotions and enthusiasm – I like intensity, romance and vulnerability.
Hey you, prospect bf – you’re…
You’ve gotta be flirty, but true. Players suck – big time.
A guy who is daring, positive, decisive, hey, that shows confidence.
(And confidence – without the arrogance, please! – is always hot).
Who cares about your size or your six-pack! There must be that yes feeling about our personalities and the way we keep on interacting… Both playfulness and depth, efforts, curiosity, purpose, butterflies in our stomachs, keep them coming. 🦋 🦋 🦋
And then in person lots and lots and LOTS of hugging.
Firm, heart-warming, life-warming, time-stopping, heart-healing embraces!
And touching: natural, magnetic, spontaneous and very affectionate, the don’t-want-to-keep-my-hands-off-you kind of touch.
Grabbing, pinching, kissing, hair-tussling, butt-spanking, stroking, naps on your shoulder.
Passionate, hungry loving, fun, friendly, romantic?
Trying new things!
I know that is out there. It has to be!
It will take two to make it happen.
Still… I have been chatting a lot on Tinder because, truth is, I like being social and getting to know new people. I’d even love to make some new friends. I’m the kind who basically likes everybody until proven wrong. And that rarely happens…
I just love people!
Who they are, why they are here, what they are in pursuit of?
Has anyone broken their hearts? Do they have kids? How’s the divorce going? Are they good dads?
Am I going to be OK, too? 😖
Is it tough being a single parent and the likes.
What are their hopes and dreams? What makes their hearts beat faster? What brings the best of smiles to their faces? What makes them excited to wake up in the mornings and go to work? What drives them insane? Are they bored or in a life crisis?
Help! Are they even happy??
So many questions, but…
Teen duty calls! ❤️
Ah, P.S. Anna, stay strong. We can do this!
© 2017 rf
Obs. Day 25 since moving out. What now?