Chapter 62 – Kristiina’s Vanhojentanssit

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Advertisements

 

Friday, 19 February 2016.

 

Day 61

 

Months and months of dance practice and lots of other efforts, such as searching for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes, planning the perfect hairdo and make up – and the day has finally arrived!

The whole family is very excited with tonight’s special event.

Kristiina woke up at 6 a.m. to go to the hairdresser’s, taking with her the deep-red dress she is going to wear. She’ll be dancing in front of her whole school this morning and in front of all of us, the parents and extended family, in the evening.

Kristiina’s dance partner is her best friend Babel, a tall Syrian genius of a young man who’s grown up in Finland.

 

“Oh, mom! What if I make mistakes??”

Anna and Kristiina hug each other bye/see you later.

“It’s normal to feel a little nervous, my darling. But if you make any mistakes, just smile with your back straight, turn your head slightly to the side, let your gorgeous hair fly in the air, and I promise your false steps won’t matter that much. Believe me, linda…

What people will notice is how confident, beautiful and happy you are.” Anna reassures her.

 

Today is the Vanhojentanssit day in all Finnish upper secondary schools – the Ball of The New Seniors, a formal prom that celebrates the passage of the second-year students to high school seniors.

And it is absolutely beautiful!


 

So far, it feels that the best days since Anna’s separation have all started and ended with Christian’s messages. Today couldn’t be any different. Yay!

 

10:26   Morning. Still rough today but hopefully will turn the corner.

It’s your last day at school so I wish you a good one! See you in 2 days (cough cough). 🙂

10:37   Thanks. That’s sweet of you to remember. 🙂 Can’t believe I’ll see you in two days. Hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon!

 

Teacher Anna is sitting with her whole school after lunch, watching a couple dozen of their countryside students dance graciously – though a bit stiffly. She feels emotional as she looks at them.

The beauty and the innocence of youth… May they be blessed and lead healthy lives, learning to be content in their search for happiness!

 

She’s grown used to sharing all kinds of things with Christian, so she sends him a video of the dancers.

14:43   I’m sure I’ll cry when see my daughter tonight! Felt like crying when I saw these pupils who aren’t even mine.

15:00  Ahh. That’s sweet. Better get the tissues ready!! 🤧 They have obviously been practicing hard.

One of those pupils is really tall!! Must be a basketball player. 😊

 

15:51   Hi! Going for the coffee power nap now to then get ready to see my very own princess dance tonight! 😊💃

Don’t forget the hankies. 😊

Yeah… I wouldn’t want to mess up my makeup!

Btw, can you see my surnames on WhatsApp? Or does my name appear to you in the way you’ve saved it?

How many do you have??

You’re cute!

I see you as Princess. 😊
Princess Anna!
 .

Aww. Sweet! I have 3 (as do many South Americans). But I’m losing the last one once the divorce is through in July, my dear handsome Prince Christian.

Ahh. You’re too kind.
.
 16:00   Now, I’ve definitely gotta take that nap to then get ready. Trying to look good in less than an hour. Effectively! Very busy day since 5:30 a.m… But tomorrow I’ll just be alone, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, running and such. So, it’ll be easier to chat. I’ll send you a pic of my daughter’s dance later on. 😊
.

Great. Good luck and enjoy. 😊

Thanks, we certainly will.
 I have been sleeping such deep naps that I snore and wake up with my own noises.
 .
Haha. A little snorer? I bet it’s a cute snore though.
💋💋 One for each tattoo.
😊

Mmm 💋!

 

18:30   Waiting for the dances to start!!

mao

 

Anna sits in the audience with her mom, Riitta, son Joey, her sister Sarah (Kristiina’s godmother), niece Isabela and varamummo Liisa. They spot Mr. Pedro/Ex from a distance. Riitta cringes.

“Eurgh. Doesn’t it feel bad to see him?” Riitta asks Anna.

“No. I’m sure it’s very important for Kristiina that he’s here, mom.

“And, I’m moving on. Not looking back, but forward.” Anna assures her. “Can’t wait to meet Christian in two days. Two days, mom!

“Dating is fun.” she smiles.

And the Ball of the Seniors is astounding.

 

 

01:57   Hey. Just got up. Of course now I can’t sleep. 😊 How did this evening go?

I’m feeling a bit better. Not been eating well though. Lost my appetite, so a bit of weight loss, I guess.

02:01   Hi.

02:02   Hello! You still awake?.

2:03   Yes, have been for 21h already. Since Friday morning 5 a.m.

21 hours awake! How come?

Happy to hear you’re feeling better!

Are you ok?

Yes, fine thanks.

I think I’ve been in bed 21 hours! OK. Not that much.

Oh! I knew I was gonna clean the house on Saturday – just decided to do it after the dance ball instead. This way, when I wake up, I’ll only have some minor things to do. 😊

How was it? Hope you wake up late. You are on holiday after all. 😊

Yes! But I’ll have to get up at 9:50 to move the car.

Your house must be spotless now.

Almost, haha.

The ball was beautiful!! And so much bigger than at my school (I think they said 126 couples were dancing there)!

383C2B7F-DA68-434B-84F9-EED7A002B14C

2:09   Lovely picture. 😊 Did she enjoy it?

Yes! She was sooo graceful. Beautiful! Wonderful body language, smiles, eye contact. 😊 I felt so proud! Will never forget this night.

We never had balls at my school.

Neither did we. Too bad! Love Pride and Prejudice – the dances looked like they were from that time. And from Gone With the Wind.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!
 Here’s one! Here you go 😊:
 .
.
2:13   Wow! Looking great. Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it.
.
Ah, before I forget!
Remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

 

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 61 to 62. Beautiful! Surreal.

 

 

Chapter 55 – The Interim

 

Tuesday, 16 February 2016.

 

Day 58

 

Anna goes away from Tinder Date #12 feeling restless.

Disappointed.

She’s been too busy and is feeling a little worried about her daughter Kristiina, as well.

Not that she’d been too excited with any of this week’s dates before meeting them. Slow chats, little effort. Just nice enough.

That’s boring!

 

I don’t understand why people even go to the trouble of going on dates with half-efforts.

Nothing we don’t devote ourselves to can become special in our lives.

We learn to love what we serve – in other words, give our best efforts to. Time, energy and affection.

On the other hand, we shouldn’t throw our pearls to pigs…!

We just can’t love what we don’t respect. We don’t appreciate what comes easy. I definitely don’t enjoy half-hearted stuff. Not for me, no.

These half-wits!!

 

Christian puts in lots of effort into our chats. Good manners, a positive attitude, respect. Flirtiness. Like Frederick – except for the flirting.

She’s feeling a little too tired when he finally sends her that smile selfie he’s been promising.

What?! So different from his other pictures. What??

Oh, what if I don’t like him in person?

 

All these last events make her ponder over things and worry a little bit. She appreciates honesty, so here it goes.

16:30   Christian, I’ve been thinking… Can I share a little?

I have a question. Is now a good time to ask?

14:37   Hi there. Yes, of course. What’s on your mind? Can I ring you up?

Oh, maybe soon. I’ve just been thinking that my separation is so recent. Imagine. It happened just last December. Yours was in September? So, maybe you can relate…

Here I am two months later… On Tinder. I’ve been on quite a few dates already, and even though most of the men were nice, I didn’t feel any attraction – except maybe with one. Still, I didn’t want to keep on seeing him.

Most of them asked for second dates, but I just didn’t feel like it. And that has made me wonder whether I’m ready for this or if I still have too much emotional baggage to deal with…

I love chatting with you every day. It’s so nice!

But I’m wondering: since I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more (and we don’t even know whether we’ll have any chemistry in person)…

Are you interested in becoming friends with me if we feel no attraction? You seem to be a great person and I could really use some new friends at this point in my life. And… if nothing else comes out of this, at least we could both gain something precious. No wasted time!

I love having a warm well-mannered person to chat with, like you. The best on Tinder. 😊

 

Anna is being very sincere. At the same time, what she’s not telling him is that based on the previous dates, she knows that some men who seem nice online are so boring in person.

Discouraging, really.

Or then so horribly dressed. Bad teeth!

I am not a superficial person. I make lots of new friends easily and respect every human being. I believe every person was made to be loved and appreciated for who they are. Everyone has their brokenness and their beauty.

Still… that doesn’t mean that I have to accept just anyone into my life, as my boyfriend!

Without chemistry there’s nothingFrederick is right.

 

Hmmm. Who should I give a chance to?? I’m not looking for a perfect guy. My expectations aren’t too high. I don’t care if he’s my age or 10 years older.

I don’t mind if he’s short, like the other women on Tinder seem to do.

I don’t care if he’s overweight – or middle class, like me. He doesn’t even have to be super handsome.

(I’ve read that it can be good for the relationship if the woman is just a little better looking than the guy. That way, the guy feels like he’s scored and the woman feels great, because she always feels pretty in his eyes. He’ll be happy with this. Value her more? I don’t know if that’s true, but it does make sense…)

 

So, what am I looking for??

Well, I certainly know what I do like.

Hmmm.

I like kindness and good manners – I hate constant bad moods.

I like interaction and good communication. Don’t really feel attracted to slow, boring men who won’t chat or talk much. They don’t ask anything – or then they do, but don’t comment on my answers.

Dull!

He doesn’t need to have a PhD, but I need intelligence. Mr. Pedro/Ex was very intelligent. I loved that about him.

Funny, hardworking, a good dad (to his kids). A good enough listener… A guy able to make decisions and take action.

A mature man. Playful, too. The man in the relationship.

Affectionate. Oh, very, very affectionate. That’s what I dream of the most.

Sigh.

Sigh.

Sigh.

Oh, gosh, does he even exist? My cousin Caleb and my brother Moses are like that. My father, too. Some of my friends, as well.

But is there someone out there for me…?

 

Am I too demanding? Do I have to lower my expectations?

Hmm. Most men my age are married. 90%. Minimum.

And the other 10% includes the lazy ones, the crazy ones, the smelly ones. The half-wits.

 

OK, maybe I could give up some of my expectations. 😯

But, but, I’m talking about who to bring into my intimate life! Not just about who to become friends with.

Into my life, my home, my heart, my body, my history, my dreams.

My present and my future.

And vice versa. Into his – value him and his.

Sigh.

 

I definitely have to do some research on the topic this week.

 

Anna, thanks for opening your heart to me. I have loved chatting with you, as well. I can see you’re a kind person, and so beautiful!

Everyone has baggage. I do, too. We’re all flawed, but we won’t know about the chemistry if we don’t meet in person. No pressure, though.

I’m interested in friendship, as well. Hopefully more. Life is good but gets lonely, like I said before. I’m coming to Helsinki just to meet you. If you’ll have me.

Work? I can work from my computer, from anywhere. You are the reason I’ll be flying there.

 

Wow, what a man.

At least this cool friendship. Fingers crossed for more. 🤞🤞🤞 I hope he’s as lovablelicious as I imagine.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 58 and five to go?

 

 

Chapter 43 – Assorted Chats

 

Tuesday, 9 February 2016.

 

Day 51

 

Anna is lying in bed, reading Tinder messages and thinking to herself.

 

Gosh, there are all kinds of chats on Tinder. I’ve had hundreds so far…

I think there’s something called chat chemistry, too.

There are the guys who make no effort whatsoever. They just send a hi and that’s it. The chat dies a natural – welcomed – death.

Then there are those who try a little harder, but there’s just no chemistry. No chat chemistry! The topics seem really off – these guys give the vibe of being quite superficial or immature. Or simple-minded.

Lazy. Not interested enough?

Definitely NOT interesting! Humft.

Maybe they’re simply really, really bad with social skills? Or with writing. Hard to imagine anything going forward like that. Hard to see how they’d get anyone’s attention like that.

They’re plain boring. Poor things.

Not to mention the disrespectful guys. They don’t lift a finger, just say something nasty and want the lady to fall onto their lap?? I don’t waste my time with them.

Unmatch – what a great little button.

 

Ah… There’s the Italian university graduate doing some research around here. Really cute and friendly. He insists on chatting a lot – he’s new in Finland. But only 33 years old.

He’s been trying to convince me to meet him for days and days. Always sending romantic things, rose emojis, hearts, compliments.

It’s sweet really…

Out of nowhere he sends a message like:

Dear Anna, good morning!

I would go to the ends of the Earth for you. I would swim the raging seas and cross the scariest jungles. I’d fight a lion for you, survive all perils and mine that cave. Just to get you the perfect diamond and bring it to you with an immaculate red rose. I’ll sing you a serenade under your window, just for the chance of you blowing me a kiss.

Let me take you on a date this weekend? Please beauty.

 

That’s funny.

Italians!

Wow. They really are romantic.

 

Areia demais pro meu caminhão – as the saying goes in Portuguese – too much sand for my little truck! Or I for his?

Anyway, champagne taste, beer wage. He should take it down a notch…… or not.

Mmmm, Anna, Anna – it could be fun!

He’s endearing.

No. He’s a student. And just too young!!

I’ll just wish him all the best and unmatch him. Kindly. Don’t want to stab his romantic little heart. I hope he never changes…

 

And then, there are chats like Frederick’s and Christian’s. 🎯

No comments. Let them speak for themselves.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 51 since moving out.