Author: TinderellaAnna

Anna is a character. Half-fictional, half-inspired in many, many true events. Half-European, half-Latin-American. She is happy, she is strong, she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. Despite the divorce - not of her choice - she is determined to be joyful, grateful, hopeful, sweet; believing that life is for sharing and that he is somewhere out there. But he will have to be as lovable as she is. After all, better alone than in bad company. Sigh: but better in good company than alone... Disclaimer: All names and places have been changed to protect the people who happen to be true.

Chapter 43 – Assorted Chats

 

Tuesday, 9 February 2016.

 

Day 51

 

Anna is lying in bed, reading Tinder messages and thinking to herself.

 

Gosh, there are all kinds of chats on Tinder. I’ve had hundreds so far…

I think there’s something called chat chemistry, too.

There are the guys who make no effort whatsoever. They just send a hi and that’s it. The chat dies a natural – welcomed – death.

Then there are those who try a little harder, but there’s just no chemistry. No chat chemistry! The topics seem really off – these guys give the vibe of being quite superficial or immature. Or simple-minded.

Lazy. Not interested enough?

Definitely NOT interesting! Humft.

Maybe they’re simply really, really bad with social skills? Or with writing. Hard to imagine anything going forward like that. Hard to see how they’d get anyone’s attention like that.

They’re plain boring. Poor devils!

Not to mention the disrespectful guys. They don’t lift a finger, just say something nasty and want the lady to fall onto their lap?? I don’t waste my time with them.

Unmatch – what a great little button.

 

Ah… There’s the Italian university graduate doing some research around here. Really cute and friendly. He insists on chatting a lot – he’s new in Finland. But only 33 years old.

He’s been trying to convince me to meet him for days and days. Always sending romantic things, rose emojis, hearts, compliments.

It’s sweet really…

Out of nowhere he sends a message like:

Dear Anna, good morning!

I would go to the ends of the Earth for you. I would swim the raging seas and cross the scariest jungles. I’d fight a lion for you, survive all perils and mine that cave. Just to get you the perfect diamond and bring it to you with an immaculate red rose. I’ll sing you a serenade under your window, just for the chance of you blowing me a kiss.

Let me take you on a date this weekend? Please beauty.

 

That’s funny.

Italians!

Wow. They really are romantic.

 

Areia demais pro meu caminhão – as the saying goes in Portuguese – too much sand for my little truck! Or I for his?

Anyway… champagne taste, beer wage. He should take it down a notch……

Mmmm, Anna, Anna – it could be fun!

He’s endearing.

No. He’s a student. And just too young!!

I’ll just wish him all the best and unmatch him. Kindly. Don’t want to stab his romantic little heart. I hope he never changes…

 

And then, there are chats like Frederick’s and Christian’s. 🎯

No comments. Let them speak for themselves.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 51 since moving out.

 

 

Chapter 42 – Under the Sun

 

Tuesday, 9 February 2016.

 

Day 51

 

Anna is spending the week with her teens. Always so lovely!

Her daughter Kristiina is 17 now and these are exciting times. She’s in the second year of upper secondary school, and her Vanhojentanssit is coming up.

Vanhojentanssit, that is, the Ball of The New Seniors, is a beautiful formal prom held in Finnish high schools to celebrate the passage of becoming the lukio seniors, the day after the third-year students stop attending to start studying for their matriculation exams in February.

They’re going to be fetching Kristiina’s long dress on Thursday. That’s something really nice to look forward to. Anna and Kris are going to have coffee somewhere and chat from the joy of their hearts and their amazing friendship.

Aww. Her little girl is all grown up now.

Oh, how the years fly!

 

Yes, this week Anna is spending quality time with her teens, but they’re teenagers. They don’t need her or even want to spend all their free time with her. An hour or two per evening seems to be more than enough for them these days.

There really is a time for everything under the sun…

Not going out on dates this week, but there’s a lot of time for chatting online. And dates set up for next week. Yay!

Thank God for hobbies and friends.

And for Tinder.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 51 of yay – life is good after all.

 

 

Chapter 41 – Oxymoronic Paradoxes

 

Monday, 8 February 2016.

 

Day 50

 

During her lunch break at school, Anna sits down to scribble in her diary.

 

 

Dear Diary,

 

Long time no write! Sorry.

There’s something I’ve been reflecting about and want to register here.

 

Betrayal.

 

Awful word, but intrinsic in human nature.

I remember just last year, a month before moving out of our last home together…

…I had already signed my rental apartment’s contract and was spending my afternoons and evenings looking for good deals to buy furniture and whatnot. (That part was fun, tbh. I adore moving and decorating. I’m good at it! I love looking for solutions).

 

Anyways, the shopping kept me busy and focused on practicalities for the near future, instead of the immediate pre-separation…

…valley

of

death.

 

As you can imagine, I’d go from excitement and exhilaration to deep sadness.

Agonizing joy.

Energetic exhaustion.

Blue fun.

Fearful hope, dreaded freedom.

 

Oxymoronic paradoxes.

The silent screams of my soul felt pretty loud to me, at times. Good grief!

 

Some say that people get divorced too easily nowadays, but sincerely? I don’t believe that most people take separation lightly. It’s scary and painful! They say it’s like amputating a leg.

More like amputating a part of your heart. :(((

 

For better or for worse, we were together for 22 years. Neither he nor I took it lightly, see? Even though it wasn’t ’til death – at the end of the end.

 

I wish we had divorced eight years ago, when he first said he wanted it. We wouldn’t have wasted so much of each other’s time and would have avoided more excruciating heartbreak and some other drastic measures (no comments)… 

Nevertheless…

I am grateful we were able to part in one piece.

Ops! Part in peace!

Where was I?

Yes, during that pre-separation month, I’d feel relieved and then anguished. Little did I know it was going to turn out to be a cruel kindness – what he was doing to me (at least that’s my hope now).

If only people knew! They’d divorce sooner.

But people with bad marriages fear. So, they make haste  s…l….o…..w……l…….y…………..

They’ve got to go through the process to progress.

OK! Be wise, don’t rush it too much. Prepare the way for a (better?) future.

 

As I was saying… at times I’d cry in the shower. I’d let go and then the next second hold on for dear life.

 

I’d love him with all my hate.

I’d agonize and think about betrayal.

“Do you already have somebody else?”

“Anna, I’ve already hurt you so much in this marriage. There’s no reason for me to hurt you more right now.” — The holy sinner – damned saint would repeat!

Not unlike me…

Some of the church people we know judge him, but I’ll respect him for not remaining a hypocritical chaplain in the end. For finally having the courage to be true to himself.

And give me my freedom to (try) to find love again.

(Maybe the painful journey of self-love first?)

 

It’s always better to deal with the truth, no matter the blow. I’ll choose hearing the honest truth 90 out of 100 times.

The truth shall set you free – true – free to fly the dreadful flight of freedom.

How can we make the best decisions for our own well-being without the truth??? People have no right to keep us prisoners of lies.

 

Nonetheless…

…”Speak the truth with love”.

 

Would it have been better to stay in the bad marriage and feel alone together?

♥️ I’d much rather be together alone someday. Just the two of us! Mr. Bf and me. ♥️

 

As I was saying… I’d cry in the shower thinking about betrayal. I felt so betrayed!

Yet, what was the betrayal??

Was it that he was jumping in bed with another lady?

For me, the greatest betrayal was not that.

 

He fell in love. O amor é lindo.

As Dr. Helen Fischer says, “love is a powerful brain system, more powerful than sex drive. It comes from primordial parts of the brain – way below the cortex. It gives you the energy, the focus, ecstasy, the despair and the motivation. To win life’s greatest prize – a mating partner”.

Aye, no!

(Btw, she’s studied brain scans of couples who have been romantically in love after 21 years together. It can happen!)

 

“Passion makes people climb the highest mountains and sail the raging seas. Romantic love inspires poets, musicians, commoners”.

Its memories make people write books. 😇

The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins.

 

Then, what was the betrayal?

 

The betrayal for me was this:

How can he prefer not to have me in his life? To just erase me, swipe me out.

After everything. All the memories. All the battles, victories, photo albums and family memories. All the patience and forgiveness. All the support and growth. All the emotions!

All that investment in vain?

How can someone actually find they’re upgrading their lives by taking me out of it??? His best friend for over half his life… To think he’s better off without me than with me? Unfathomable.

I felt like garbage. Rejection was the betrayal!

That actually felt like death. A resurrection I should have welcomed?

Why not sooner then? It would have saved me some of my youth.

 

And what about our kids? They say divorce is harder on teenagers than children. 

 

Wow.

But no problem.

Now I know his cruel kindness was for my best, too.

A passionless marriage is not true for me. Holding on is just wishful thinking. Wasted years? I think so… 

Men and women out there: pleeease do not hold on to someone who doesn’t love you. Please do not fear. You deserve to be loved with all of your lover’s flawed human heart. Everyone does.

Mutuality!

 

But, silver linings, silver linings, Anna! Don’t get depressed now.

Everything happens for a purpose. Or at least you can give it a purpose and make it meaningful.

I sure am turning my pain into something beautiful.

 

In this long, long diary entry, my mind has been wandering everywhere – itinerant from place to place. I can break it down later, but I did warn you in the title.

And it does happen with pre-separation. Consider separating, do it, and your mind will thus wonder and wander while your heart rides a scary merry-go-round.

 

OK, long story short – finally:

 

Divorce??

More like amputating half of your heart!

Hey, maybe I need a heart transplant!

A new heart? I like that.

I’m gonna think of divorce as an open-heart surgery from now on. Painful, risky, extreme. I’ll need time for convalescence… But not alone, please…?

 

The Divorce Paradox = a seemingly false, but significant step.

 

Anna, you’ll get a new heart – hope for a stronger one!

You’ll still retain your brain, your memories, your soul, your you. But you’ll have the chance to start over.

Bitter sweet. New beginnings. A crash landing? New-found grace.

And an opportunity to be true. To love again and do it much, much better.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 50 of an oxymoronic new life.

http://gtotd.blogspot.fi/2007/06/oxymoronic-paradox-wisdom-of-yogi-isms.html

 

 

Chapter 40 – I Simply Remember

 

Monday, 8 February 2016.

 

Day 50

 

And the lesson goes on.

 

“My dear 8C, now that you’re all awake… Your homework was to think about your favorite pastimes and such, writing a list with at least ten items. Who has done that?”

Hands go up everywhere.

Anna shows the class a video – My Favorite Things, from The Sound of Music – one of her favorite movies. And the boldest of her pupils sing along with her.

“🎶 I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad!”

Ah… Nice.

“Encouraging, isn’t it?” — she smiles.

“So, today your task is to be creative. Take your list of favorite things and transform it into beautiful art. A poster, a video, a play. The sky is the limit. If you’re not good at drawing, write a colorful list that will look great on the wall.

“You can also draw stick men, like I did.”

Anna told Christian (one of the nice Englishmen from Tinder), that she’s been working on this theme at school. He insisted she share her list with him – wouldn’t take no for an answer. So endearing! So she drew it for him.

How Anna loves feeling inspired with the silliest of things!

Now, she projects the images she drew on the smart board, hoping to ignite her pupils’ creativity. First, she wants them to speak up and practice their English.

“Hey look, here are my very own favorite things. Can you tell me what they are?”

 

ft1 – kopio

ft – kopio

ft2 – kopio

ft3 – kopio

 

Chatting with Chris has been so lovely. A mix of witty, smart, gentlemanly and flirty. Guys are a mystery, but it’s gradually getting warmer.

She drew him a couple of extra (burning hot) pastimes on the back side. 😍

Completely scratched over now, of course!

 

Hmm. We shall see…

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 50 since moving out. Warm beginnings!

 

 

Chapter 39 – Waking Them up

Monday, 8 February 2016.

 

Day 50

 

8:30 English – Anna is teaching 8C.

 

“Good morning, everyone! How was your weekend?” she asks excitedly.

Not much of a reaction- not uncommon in Finland, if you ask me.

 

“OK, let’s try this again. Who’s had a great weekend? Raise your hand.”

One or two hands go up in the air, timidly.

 

“Who has had a good enough weekend?”

Most of the other sleepy pupils raise their hands.

 

“And has anybody had a bad, bad weekend?”

A couple of pupils raise their hands.

“Why? Would you like to tell us why?”

“It was just boring.”

“Hey, sorry to hear about that. Do you want to share more?”

“No!!”

“So, tell me this: Did you have food to eat? A bed to sleep in? Maybe the company of your family or siblings?”

Yeses are coming from everywhere.

She likes to tease them a little, and she often does it in a lively way, with lots of laughter and excitement. To wake them up.

“There, you see! Sometimes boring is good! It means you weren’t ill. It means you are alive. You didn’t die last weekend. Phew. Or did you?”

They laugh.

They are adorable, really, it just takes time to get them interested. School can be so boring – the teacher here will admit to it…

 

“Not dead?!

“I’m glad you’re still here. But I do agree with you…” — a pause for suspense — “Boring is baaaad. YOLO! Nobody wants boring. I myself H-A-T-E boring.

“OMG, do I hate it…

“And yes! It doesn’t matter how many blessings we have to be grateful for – though gratitude is indeed important – if we compare our lives to happier, more exciting past moments, boredom can make us feel sad and frustrated. It’s all about expectations versus reality, isn’t it?

 

“But, did you know that most of the time even frustration is very good?

“Believe me?”

“No!” a bold boy answers. The same one as before.

“Yes, frustration and even failure can be awesome. They tell you what you are unhappy with. What you need to change in your life. They are important signals that can be used as a stepping stone for improvements. For transformation and growth.

“But you must be brave to face them. Face the truth. Maybe one thing at a time. And decide to change. Decide to start dealing with it immediately… Start changing that one thing.”

Some of the pupils are looking very thoughtful now – and others are slowly showcasing smiles of satisfaction.

 

Her iPhone dings and she quickly puts it in the silent mode. It’s Christian. Yay.

She smiles and her pupils tease her a little.

“No phones, Anna! Put away your phone.”

 

Anna likes to give her pupils food for thought. It’s usually what she direly needs herself. She hopes she’ll be brave enough to see her changes through to the very end. To victory and better times. Oh, fingers crossed, soul of mine!

 

But, keep reading. The lesson goes on.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Just the beginning of Day 50.

 

Chapter 38 – Staying

 

Sunday, 7 February 2016.

 

Day 49

 

Remember Frederick? One of the two Englishmen who have been writing daily?

It’s late and Fred and Anna have been chatting for an hour.

 

…One misses the companionship. And having someone to cuddle at night. After my divorce, at first I dreaded bank holidays as it meant a 3-day weekend.

But over time, you find happiness in yourself, and start to enjoy life again.

Exactly. 🙂 Life’s too short to waste, but we’re still quite young!

See the positives. A chance for new love and adventures.

True, true.

So, have you had any dates since the breakup?

Oh, I’ve been on quite many dates. But so far, I haven’t liked any Finnish guys.

Too dull?

Quiet. Private. Mysterious. No touching, no flirting, no hugging. Or worse: a kind of awkward don’t-touch-me-just-pat-me-lightly-in-the-back kind of hug. Even when they like you and want to see you again!

You?

I’ve had 6 1st dates (a few more with one of them).

6 or 61?

Just kidding.

 🙂 But, I’m back on the market.

I had 9 business-like, friendly dates. Coffee, walking, chatting. It felt as though I was walking a little bit of their life journey alongside them. For the most, it felt authentic and valuable. Btw, all guys looked 5-10 years older in person.

But hey, you have some great pics!

All recent. I’ve got them done by a photographer friend of mine. Oh, did I mention that I’m shy at first?

Mine are recent, too. No. How come?

I’m just the kind of person that is worth getting to know. I have a great sense of humour, but it takes me time to warm up with people I don’t know.

I believe you. I have that feeling about you already.

I think you need a physical and mental attraction with someone.

Definitely. If chemistry is needed even for friendship – how much more so for dating and intimate relationships.

Without chemistry, there is nothing. You need to look into their eyes and see them sparkle.

Yes.

If you can’t get excited about the thought of waking up next to them, then it won’t work, no matter how many dates you go on. Or how long you try to stay together.

…Anna, we have to embrace being single. It’s fun.

You have a friendly face. And a great smile. And you seem talkative.

Haha. I have my quiet Finnish moments, too.

Sometimes I talk too much. I have so many cool stories to tell. But then I control myself and shut up.

Other times, I just enjoy being quiet. I admire the Finnish habit of feeling comfortable in silence, side by side. Small-talking is not a must.

Finns can ride a car together in silence and no one gets uncomfortable or offended. It’s not impolite.

In the UK, we fill the awkward silences by talking about the weather.

I love talking and listening to others. Asking questions. The interaction!

But then, when it’s my turn to drive (when carpooling with other teachers), I often wonder why women have to talk that much. When I’m just listening, sometimes I get the feeling 90% of what is being said seems unnecessary.

Silence here is uncomfortable. And I like people who are talkative.

Yes. But I have this artistic need to feel that what is being said has a deeper purpose – fun, important info, reassurance, appreciative words, support, love, emotions. Sharing something significant, etc.

Having said that, I also prefer people who like talking.

Yep. But the woman talks 60% and the man 40%.

I agree. Is that annoying for men? Be honest!

No. Women are natural talkers.

My dad talks more than my mom. But mom is the Finnish one!

I like talkative people, but some aren’t good listeners. They just focus on themselves.

That’s bad. It’s important to ask back. To listen.

So… what are you going to do after this chat?

You seem like a good listener, too.

I try.

Gonna chill out.

How do you like to chill out after work?

I play the guitar, read, chat to friends. YouTube. I don’t sing.

But you play! I don’t. I just like singing in the car, in the shower.

I’ve started to get better now. More time to practice after the divorce.

Frederick, I have to thank you so much for this lovely chat.

Monday tomorrow and I have to sleep my six hours. More later?

OK. Sleep well. Chat in the morning. Or later tomorrow.

Sleep well! Besitos.

You, too. X

 

Monday, 8 February 2016.

 

Day 50

 

Morning, Anna.

How was your commute to school. I get the feeling you have a long drive? My board games MeetUp is tonight. I’ll let you know what we play in the evening.

 

A few hours later.

 

Hi Frederick. Yes, you are good at deduction. I guess it’s those games of yours. My drives take over an hour, one way. But no traffic! Great roads and a beautiful countryside.

Glad that you’ll get to enjoy games later on. Let me know what you played.

I’m going to watch a movie with my son and going to bed early for a change! But only three lessons tomorrow. Yay!

I guess you live in the city but work in the sticks? Enjoy your early night!

 

They talk about work, kids, games. Sports, hiking. International friends. Blah blah blah.

 

I’ve done a long hike in Lapland. The Bear Trail. Have you heard of it? It has great infrastructure to stop to chill or camp, every three hours or so. Love walking!

Love jogging too, but I’ve been a bit lazy, lately. I play volleyball and go to the gym, too. A little fitter every year. What about you?

You must be very fit!

Unfortunately not. Definitely need to lose 4-6kg, but I’m sure I’ll eventually get there… Besides, I’ve had two c-sections. But that’s life.

I’m probably maintaining my current weight. Do need to push a bit harder, but working full-time and having the kids is grueling at the moment. My son’s football tomorrow, so busy day.

Oh, my teens are so big. We’re three independent souls here, who sometimes stop to spend time together.

I think I’ve got that to look forward to!

 

Later that night.

 

Hi Anna. Here are some ideas for you, since you’re newly-separated:

Travel

Visit a new city

Go to museums

Hiking 🙂

Start a new box set

Read a new book series

Find a new hobby

Cycle

Check out MeetUP

The way you’ve got to see it, divorce is sad, but it also gives us that opportunity to do the things we’ve put off and experience the chemistry of new love.

Learn guitar?

Oh, thank you! That’s so sweet.

Great ideas!

I love reading

Painting

Drawing

Writing

Meeting friends

Games

Movies with company (don’t really do it alone)

I’ve been considering a new language course. Italian? It would be my sixth language. And an easy one to learn.

Ah! Chemistry of new love would be the best.

New opportunities. You’re right.

P.S.  🙂How was football tonight? 

 

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Days 49-50 of stay! Now you know what you’re doing.

 

 

Chapter 37 – Why I Am Doing This

 

Sunday, 7 February 2016.

 

Day 49

 

Dear Diary,

Today has been a time for some reflection, and now in the evening I feel I want to scribble down some thoughts.

Turning 39 recently… the separation… our new flat… are the teens going to be OK?

Tinder! Eight dates, elation, fun, tears, peace, a little sadness, too. Prayer. Separation sure creates a merry-go-round of varying emotions.

Mixed feelings. But tbh, negative ones have been rare since November. Believe me if you will. More often than not, I’ve been content since I moved out.

I have the chance for a new beginning. It’s normal to feel sad, at times. Naturally. That’s life! But I’ve actually been quite OK for the most, and I won’t complain about that!

Hmm, my dad is telling everyone that “Anna is doing fine. She is so relieved.” He even posted that on FB. Haha. Face-palm.

I had enough suffering within the marriage, so now I’ve left the fights back there. Broken objects, too.

Let me be happy now. I am determined to!

(Yesterday was the first exception since November. I  felt blue all morning, but strong again in the evening).

 

So……….

After a long delicious nap this afternoon, I decided to think about why I have been going on these dates.

Love it or leave it.

Tinder, that is.

 

I asked myself:

 

OK, what do I want?

Well, I believe in love! I love love. I love passion. I am a people person, very social. Prefer company. Besides, I have time in my hands. And lots of curiosity.

And a big heart, ready to love again. ❤️‍

 

What’s the hurry?

Oh, no hurry. After twenty-two years with the same man, it’d be crazy to be in a hurry to find another husband.

 

So, what are you looking for on Tinder now?

Well, that was what took me the longest to answer. But then I came to the following conclusions:

 

(1) In the short term, just meeting new people, socializing. Finding out who is out there. What kind of men are single and on the lookout. Long interesting conversations. A few new friends?

Yes, excellent. Nothing wrong, scary or desperate about that. 🙂

 

(2) In the medium term, I’d love to find a boyfriend. Life is definitely for sharing. And I’ve got so much love and affection to give!

I want to add value to a man’s life and heart. To his days. To his thoughts. And he must as much to me, too!

 

And finally, (3) In the long term…

…someday, if I’m really lucky. I hope to share my life closely with my Mr. One again.

Happy sigh!

 

Hey, one thing I know for sure: if he exists, he has already been born!!! 😂

He’s somewhere over the rainbow… 🦅 

So, wherever he is right now, I hope he’s fine and looking for me too. Longingly.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 49 of stay! Now you know what you’re doing.

 

 

Chapter 36 – But Sunday’s On the Way

tiainen – kopio (2)

Sunday, 7 February 2016.

 

Day 49

 

The brass band plays during the morning service. It’s powerful!

Oh, so very touching!

Anna doesn’t attend too often anymore (it’s hard to look at the pulpit and remember Mr. Ex standing there singing, playing the guitar, bringing the Sunday sermon).

A decade of memories.

But she wanted to sit here this Sunday and just scrutinize her own soul.

 

Afterwards, she walks home in the chilly sunshine, listening to a Ted ed video called “Who am I?”

https://ed.ted.com/lessons/who-am-i-a-philosophical-inquiry-amy-adkins

 

“Who am I?

Throughout the history of mankind,

three little words have sent poets to the blank page,

philosophers to the Agora,

and seekers to the oracles:

‘Who am I?’

From the ancient Greek aphorism inscribed on the Temple of Apollo,

‘Know thyself,’

to The Who’s rock anthem, ‘Who Are You?’

philosophers, psychologists, academics,

scientists, artists, theologians and politicians

have all tackled the subject of identity.

Their hypotheses are widely varied and lack significant consensus.

These are smart, creative people,

so what’s so hard about coming up with the right answer?

 The challenge certainly lies

with the complex concept of the persistence of identity.

Which you is who?

The person you are today?

Five years ago?

Who you’ll be in 50 years?

And when is ‘am’?

This week?

Today?

This hour?

This second?

And which aspect of you is ‘I’?

Are you your physical body?

Your thoughts and feelings?

Your actions?

 These murky waters of abstract logic are tricky to navigate,

and so it’s probably fitting that to demonstrate the complexity,

the Greek historian Plutarch used the story of a ship.

How are you ‘I’?

As the tale goes, Theseus, the mythical founder King of Athens,

single-handedly slayed the evil Minotaur at Crete,

then returned home on a ship.

To honor this heroic feat,

for 1000 years Athenians painstakingly maintained his ship in the harbor,

and annually reenacted his voyage.

Whenever a part of the ship was worn or damaged,

it was replaced with an identical piece of the same material

until, at some point, no original parts remained.

Plutarch noted the Ship of Theseus

was an example of the philosophical paradox

revolving around the persistence of identity.

How can every single part of something be replaced,

yet it still remains the same thing?

 Let’s imagine there are two ships:

the ship that Theseus docked in Athens, Ship A,

and the ship sailed by the Athenians 1000 years later, Ship B.

Very simply, our question is this: does A equal B?

Some would say that for 1000 years there has been only one Ship of Theseus,

and because the changes made to it happened gradually,

it never at any point in time stopped being the legendary ship.

Though they have absolutely no parts in common,

the two ships are numerically identical, meaning one and the same,

so A equals B.

However, others could argue that Theseus never set foot on Ship B,

and his presence on the ship is an essential qualitative property

of the Ship of Theseus.

It cannot survive without him.

So, though the two ships are numerically identical,

they are not qualitatively identical.

Thus, A does not equal B.

But what happens when we consider this twist?

What if, as each piece of the original ship was cast off,

somebody collected them all, and rebuilt the entire original ship?

When it was finished, undeniably two physical ships would exist:

the one that’s docked in Athens,

and the one in some guy’s backyard.

Each could lay claim to the title, ‘The Ship of Theseus,’

but only one could actually be the real thing.

So which one is it,

and more importantly, what does this have to do with you?

Like the Ship of Theseus,

you are a collection of constantly changing parts:

your physical body, mind, emotions, circumstances, and even your quirks,

always changing, but still in an amazing and sometimes illogical way,

you stay the same, too.

This is one of the reasons that the question, ‘Who am I?’ is so complex.

And in order to answer it,

like so many great minds before you,

you must be willing to dive into the bottomless ocean of philosophical paradox.

Or maybe you could just answer,

‘I am a legendary hero sailing a powerful ship on an epic journey.’

That could work, too.”

 

She smiles.

Now, the second part of her Sunday Soul Service has been completed.

 

Who is Anna?

I am the compelling heroine of my own adventurous soar.

Yes, indeed!

 

Dear, dear.

Dearest me…

…your who has been shredded into bits in the last years, hasn’t it? 

You must piece it all together again!

Do rediscover yourself, darling.

Deconstruct.

Reconstruct.

Become a stronger version of who you are and aspire to be.

 

Just… don’t lose the sweet, warm parts of yourself in the process. OK, little one?

XO

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 49 for the Mighty Little One.

 

 

Chapter 35 – Saturday Blues

 

Saturday, 6 February 2016.

 

Day 48

 

Morning comes and she’s feeling blue. Anna just needs some answers.

 

Who am I??

                              What do I want now?

What am I seeking?

Why am I doing this again??

Yes, why?

What the heck is the hurry, huh??

            What is wrong with you, stupid Anna???

 

Tears are rolling down like a river, as she lies in the darkness of her bed.

 

She calls Mr. Ex.

Not concerning their past marriage, no!

I hang on to people, but then when I move on, I really move on.

Not concerning him. Just about herself. Who am I? What’s going on?

Pedro and Anna have spent over half her life together. He may not love her as his wife anymore, but she knows he cares about her as her best friend and the mother of his children. She has no doubt that he wishes her well, too.

Just not with him.

He listens in no hurry, feels her pain, comforts her. Tells her it will be alright. Talking with him is so easy.

 

She feels better.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 48 since moving out of Mr. Ex’s home – their last home together.