Tag: Matt Boggs

Chapter 75 – OMG, Diary!!

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Monday, 22 February 2016.

 

OMG, Diary!!

 

There’s so much to write that I don’t know where to begin!

Why don’t I just tell you the latest? 😊

After a kind of rough and a slow start – so much so that I almost quit before date #16 had even begun………………….

 

 

Yesterday… 😬 

Uh-oh.

 

 

Just kidding. 😊

 

 

 

 

……………..Last night turned out to be amazing. Full stop. 😍

 

Period.

Not telling you anymore.

 

Just teasing you, haha. I’ll tell you everything. 😊😊

 

How can it have exceeded my expectations, tell me? Does this mean that we can’t judge people and situations too quickly, and that if we give them a chance they will step up and potentially show themselves to be wonderful? Awww.

Is Christian wonderful???

I don’t know yet – I just had a taste…

 

…But I know how he felt. 😍😍

😊😊😊  Girls go awww. And guys go mmmm.

 

They say you’ve gotta take things slow, live each day in the here and now, layer by layer, wait and see, seize the moment (Oh gosh, I did!!! I seized every single one of those butterflies…), appreciate the journey, enjoy the ride.

And I will.

I promise.

Having trust, hope and faith is also important. One day at a time.

And, and, and… being “as shrewd as snakes 🐍 and as innocent as doves 🕊️.”

That’s a good one, J!

 

Patience.

Oh my! I’m calm, but patience has always been the hardest for me. I want everything now!

When I was a little girl, whenever people told me their plans or ideas, dad says I always immediately went like “Hoje?”

Today?

“Anna, we’re moving to America!”

“Hoje?”

“Santa Claus is coming!”

“Today?”

“Let’s buy a bunk bed!”

“Hoje?”

“Sleepover with cousins soon.”

“Today?”

Haha. I’m still like that…

 

But oh, do tell me, isn’t life to be lived today?

At my age I know it is.

Today!! As if there’s no tomorrow.

Who knows if there will be a tomorrow?

Oh! I want a tomorrow, too! I want many, many tomorrows. Many awesome ones – just like yesterday…

…Today!! 😍😍😍

Move it, move it! Give it to me.

 

Nowadays, I am more patient: I want things yesterday.

Ohhhh, OH…

 

Ohhhh, yesterday I got everything I wanted from a good date. I finally did.

 

And it was the whole package: scorching sweet, affectionate, heart-warming, electrifying, blazing f-hot. The OH in Ohio 😊😊😊.

Ohhhh…….. Are you happy for me?

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 (There, seven is the number of perfection).

 

That first moment we met in front of Kaisla – despite the suspicious butterflies in my stomach – I immediately liked Christian’s looks. 

His height, his built. His mystery.

His voice. Oh God, his voice is approved – I can’t quite describe it, sorry. Manly, pleasant. Ohhh, like candy to the ears.

Christian looked confident, but not arrogant at all – and this same vibe perpetuated throughout the 12 hours we spent together. 😊

As we were walking to my flat, my attraction gradually intensified.

Slowly.  🎼  É devagar, é devagar, é devagar, é devagar, devagarinho. 🎶

With every step.

I was also feeling confident (like on most of my dates) and happy…

…But I kept the mystery – of course. 😊 Playing it cool and warm. Cool, but warm!

Hmmm. Still a little unsure about him being so late. What??

 

Dinner went fine (he looked a little shy), and his mysterious lack of flirting actually ignited my own wish to score, to hope to win him over, strangely enough 😆.

He was such a gentleman, and smart, interesting. I enjoyed the way it felt easy and so natural to be around him. 

The games were fun, the electric tension between us just growing. Despite the atishoos. Haha. Quite endearing, tbh 😊😊.

 

The champagne, his joy to be there with me, celebrate me – him – us!

The aliveness. Oh – the chemistry.

And then!

OH

MY

GOD.

 

That first kiss!

His words. The intensity of the desire, all that mounted up expectation. The intensity of our gazes, eye to eye. Deep. The yearning…

With the touch of his lips all my doubts dissipated, melted, flew out the window. Mmmm. Clothes flew out the window, too. But not the hold ups. Haha.

Christian is a handsome man – to me 👌. His lips are very thin, but surprisingly thick on the inside 😂.

Not kidding. They are!

Oh, and so delicious.

I just loved his taste, his touch, the way he made me feel. The way I saw I made him feel.

I loved his skin, his smell. His natural smell just felt so right. The sounds of the night, mighty, wondrous. His words to me.

Taste, sight, touch, smell, and hearing – the whole package. Is that why making out is so fantastic??

Oh, yeah. He solved the tattoo mystery 😊. He was so good…

 

I went to the bathroom – I think I floated – and when I came back, he smiled. Arms open wide.

Seriously.

Such a perfect embrace!

“Gosh, it’s 4 a.m. You’re not going to send me back to the hotel at this time, are you?”

“No, you have a cold! Stay here.”

 

My bed is only 80 cm wide, and I suggested making another bed for myself.

“No!” he said, “That’s ridiculous. No way! Let’s just sleep here together.“

“Seriously? We won’t fit.”

“Of course we will. Just cuddle up, I’ll hold you all night long.“

 

That was the first night his triceps brachii was my pillow, as I was enveloped by both his arms in a perfect fit.

(Enveloped is a word he taught me, btw).

Now I’m alone, that’s why I’m writing. He has some business to take care of, so he went back to his hotel. But we are going to be together again. Of course we are!

 

Ding!

12:35   Thank you for a wonderful night. And for coming to my rescue. That should be my job!! 😊

I found the hotel! Easy in daytime.

 

Oh, I have some more things to write, so Christian can wait.

I swear I tried to sleep with him all night, but his body was burning hot. Such a fever – I just couldn’t – so I opened the mattresses I keep under the bed and slept there. In the morning, he told me he thought I had fallen dead, since I didn’t move or make a sound.

Sure I died. Died of pleasure. Overheated, too.

Hey, now I’m feeling tired! Exhausted – I need a nap. Getting back my energy to meet him later. 

 

While Anna sleeps without texting him back, Christian writes again.

 

13:52   My business calls went well. Meeting partners in China in the coming weeks.

Thanks so much for the scarf. Your mom will be rewarded… with all the PG tips she can drink! 😊

I’m wondering if there are any games you have that I know and for which you can’t make up arbitrary rules!! 😊

 

14:28   Hi Chris

Hey. How are you? Sorry I gave you a late night.

It was fun!

For me too.

Yes. Let’s play more games. Watch a movie? I’ll beat you.

Haha. Only because you don’t tell me the rules. What’s the next game?

Ingenious…

 

P.S.

We’ve only just met and I have no idea what will happen from now on.

How much he liked me – if we will feel good about each other after a week… I just told you how it felt last night. I know the tension mounted up in three weeks… So, last night we reached a peak we both had fought for. Rewarding.

Amazing.

Matt Boggs says that people should take it slow when they first meet, since even the most wonderful people have a litte monster within. It’s good to wait, hang out a lot, until you get introduced to that little devil to see if it’s one you can live with.

Makes sense. Let’s see what happens.

But for now, who cares about the monsters? I’m gonna make the most out of my week, because I am on holiday and gloriously happy TODAY!

Hoje.

© 2017 rf

 

 

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Obs. Hoy.
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Chapter 25 – Justin, Dustin’

Ding! Christian’s sending me messages on Whatsapp! Aww. And Riku! Plo-Plim.

 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016.

 

Day 45

 

You look out the window and it’s freezing, but Finnish apartments are always warm and nice in winter — about 21°C.

Anna’s wearing her favorite pj’s: a navy blue tank top with pink text, and flannel shorts with a tartan pattern. So comfy! She’s braiding her hair loosely, ending in a pony tail slightly to the right side.

Hmm, time to get my highlights redone.

Tonight, Anna’s just chilling. Strolling around her house, dusting off here and there, feeling good. Headphones on — she’s swinging to Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself, playing on her iPhone.

🎶 You think you broke my heart, oh, for goodness’ sake
You think I’m crying on my own. Well, I ain’t.
And I didn’t wanna write a song
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care.
I don’t,
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I’ll be movin’ on
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back
Maybe you should know that…

…Didn’t see what’s going on
But now I know
I’m better sleeping on my own

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself 🎶

So melodic — she likes the songs her pupils suggest — Yeah… moving on. That’s the spirit — and she’s humming along.

OMG, that reminds me. Meeting up with the Norwegian god tomorrow! And I still haven’t researched how to say no to a second date.

Anna googles “Let him down easy,” hitting the search button.

Articles, forums… Oh, a video! Here we go. Let me listen to this while I have a snack. Just in case I need it tomorrow.

 

DON’T LIKE HIM? Let him down easy like this (by Matt Boggs)

▶️  “… why would this be important in meeting your man? Because the path to meeting your man… is through the dating process. It’s by going out with people…

“Inevitably, when you give people a chance, you’re going to meet people who are just not a great fit for you.”

You don’t say! 💀🤑🤖👿🤡👺

“Until you end up meeting that person and it just clicks – feels amazing and there’s tons of chemistry.”

Uh, I want that! 🙂 

“…Reframe rejection… to have liberty and freedom to go on more dates…”

Nice.

“…But first, let me explain why this is so important: if you’re afraid of rejecting someone, then you’re not going to go out with a lot of guys who, at first glance, look like, ‘ahhh, I might end up rejecting this guy.’

“But you go out, and you find out that this guy is amazing! This guy blows your socks out!”

My socks!! 😍🤩😍

 

“You see, he’s everything you never knew that you always wanted (to quote a line from Fools Rush In)…

“So, you’re going end up going out on more dates, you won’t be afraid to disappoint them and you’ll be able to reject them in the kindest, most humane way possible.”

Hmm.

“So here’s the key: men respect people who are (1) honest, and who are (2) direct.”

Seriously??! It’s that simple?

“And you want to be absolute. Let me explain. A lot of women like to dance around the topic. They like to hint at things…

“Let me be clear, men don’t speak hint… And letting a guy down easy actually creates more pain through the process than just being honest, being direct and being absolute.”

 

⏸  Wow. I had no idea. I like it when people let me down easy. I can take a hint…

Man, are we different!

OK. I do want people to be objective with me. But still, in a very warm way, giving me their honest reasons. Having a talk about it… Then I don’t feel hurt and it’s easier to move on.

▶️ Oh, gosh! Boggs is telling us not to give guys the reasons!? Haha. That would just be a challenge for the guy to overcome. Or something like that. Interesting…!?

 

“So there’s one thing that nobody can argue, when it comes to calling it quits in any kind of dating experience. It is absolute. That you just don’t feel the chemistry with this person.

“…Two ways that you can reject a man…

“(1) If you’re talking to a guy online:

“‘Hey, thanks so much for contacting me. I’m flattered, but I don’t really feel we are a good fit. You sound like a great guy, and I’m wishing you all the best. Take care.’

“…Great text. Direct, to the point. It’s confident. And you’re wishing them well, you’re being respectful – an open, honest person.”

I like that.

“(2) If you’ve gone out with the guy and it’s face to face on a date (you’re not really feeling it with this guy, but you can tell that he’s going to ask you out on a second date):

“You can simply say, ‘Hey, I really appreciate going out with you tonight. But unfortunately, I’m not feeling the romantic chemistry. You’re an amazing guy, I know you’re going to meet someone really special, and I’m wishing you all the best’.”

Oh, I could have said that to Tapio – he was so sweet. But, I wouldn’t say that to a nutjob. Hmm. Better screen them better from now on.

“…That’s all you need to say. It’s that simple… Understand that it’s just part of the game, no big deal. You’re going to reject people. People are going to reject you. But you’re all gonna live on, and ultimately you’re going to find that special someone and create an extraordinary relationship….”

Hmm. Thanks, Matt! I’ll practice. I’ll try…

Values. Anna believes in self-respect and in treating others with respect, too.

 

Ding!

Yay, Christian’s sending me a Whatsapp message. Aww…

 

Plo-Plim!

And Riku on Tinder.

Plo-Plim!

Ding!

© 2017 rf

 

 

 

Obs. Day 45 since moving out.

 

 

Chapter 15 – Tinder Date #6

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 23 January 2016.

 

Day 34

 

So, Luukas and I text. 

How can we have this much in common?

He’s a teacher too – physics; his father is also a retired pastor; he’s divorced with adult kids; loves volleyball and running (well OK, he runs marathons – I struggle to jog 5km). Just as I have, he’s lived in Oulu, Jyväskylä, Porvoo and Stockholm, and lives in Helsinki now. And more. 

He convinces Anna to call her up immediately. She’s intrigued and a phone call would be a first. Why not?

Oh, no! He sounds soooooo formal. And laughs exactly like Santa Claus, “Ho, Ho, Ho. Anna, you are so adorable! Ho, Ho, Ho.”

Still, he seems like a good person. Plus, he’s in very good shape, in his really blurry pic. So Anna decides to accept his invitation to have tea the next evening.

 

“Oh, Thank you, thank you. Ho, Ho. Where?”

🎅

She’s slowly started to feel that, when unsure, why go all the way to the other side of the center. Let them come to me.

She doesn’t tell him her neighborhood, of course, but suggests a gaming restaurant on Tyynenmerenkatu.

 

 

Day 35

 

On Sunday, after a pleasant day with a little jogging, she’s not feeling too excited, but still, when a human being gives you their precious commodity of time, the least you can do is get nicely groomed for the date and look as cute as possible. It’s a matter of respect.

Self-respect, mainly.

 

And what if he ends up being Mr. Boyfriend, huh? I don’t want to regret not showing up looking good.

Nothing over the top. Just the usual.

Shower. Hair, light make up. A casual outfit. A nice overcoat and a beautiful, fashionable scarf.

A sincere smile, self-confidence and eye-to-eye contact are anyone’s most important accessories.

 

 

Evening has come, and Luukas walks up to her on the dark street, blond, tall, handsome and… shy! Poor dear.

The restaurant is closed, so change of plans, and they go to the Little Big Café inside Verkkokauppa.

Anna can’t remember anymore all the things they talked about that day. She does remember, however, that he was timid, and…

… kept on talking about all the wrong topics.

 

(a) His upcoming unemployment and no stress in looking for another job.

Oh, my. His hair looks so oily. Didn’t he wash it for the date?

(b) His illnesses. The pain and discomfort.

This keeps getting better.

Hey, we all have our conditions, but please! Your charm, first.

Slowly. No hurry. A little mystery is good.

 

Hey you Mr. Wanted out there: win me over and then I won’t mind your brokenness. I have my share, too.

Skills, people, dating skills!

I’m here practicing mine. Hmm.

Oh, poor dear. You have good attributes, but why are you wearing a cheap, old-looking, hoodie? The color doesn’t suit you. It’s too small and has a couple of holes in it. It looks like a teenager’s hand-me-down.

From the last decade!

Dating is comical.

 

 

Saturday, 30 January 2016.

 

A week later, Anna goes to the Educa Messu, an education fair for teachers. Guess who she bumps into there?

Yes, him.

He gets all happy and excited to see her and grabs her hand, pulling her to see different stands.

Walking hand in hand, she panics on the inside and is shocked into passiveness. Wide-eyed.

Akward – does he think we’re on a date??

What if my teacher workmates spot us like this? Some don’t even know I’ve separated yet. They’ll think I’ve found myself a teacher-lover.

Help!!

She has the idea to seem deeply mesmerized by a pedagogical book displayed opposite them, and thus has to let go of his hands to flip its many, many pages. Phew.

He finds ways of grabbing her hand again, so she repeats the trick.

He finally stops taking her hand in his again and she feels better.

 

Anna has been fasting today and is feeling quite weak. The fair is over and Luukas invites her to have a hamburger at Sävel in Kallio. They’re on the tram and she’s feeling so weak that she goes there with him.

Ravenous!

Besides, she’s told him he’s nice, “But sorry, I realized I’m not ready for a relationship or dating yet.”

 

They have a chat about work while they dig into their burgers. He’s OK. And he gulps his beers.

Then, after eating he brings his chair – that has been safely opposite hers – to her side of the table. What the heck?

He hugs her and starts kissing her cheeks.

At a burger restaurant?? People are watching!

She shows him with her body language that she’s not interested, but he licks her ear and whispers, “I’m a very passionate man! Must be my half-Russian blood!”

“Sorry! Stop! I’m not ready.”

“Oh, Anna, you’re simply wonderful.”

“Thanks, but no. Thank you for your company. I’m feeling tired, so I really have to go now.”

Being free to go on dates feels exciting, but so far, eurgh, such bad luck!

 

They bump into other once more, when Anna is with Kristiina at Stadium in Kamppi. Anna introduces the two, and the three of them chat for a minute.

“Mom, he’s so handsome and nice!”

“Yes, he is. But he’s not for me.”

I’ll really have to do that research on how to politely let a man go.

Urgently!

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. He is nice, but there’s just no chemistry.