Chapter 47 – Extemporaneous Tinder Date #10

 

Friday, 12 February 2016.

 

Day 54

 

Diary of Mine,

 

Today has been a good day. 🙂

Just coming home from our Youth Group (my way to contribute).

I started these youth evenings twice a month a year ago, as a way for Kristiina and Joey and other young people to make new friends and have some Friday fun in a safe environment. We play board games, talk, have a snack, play hide-and-seek in the dark and anything else we can come up with.

 

It’s not easy to be leading the youth group at the moment (separation and all), but I told the pastor I’ll give it a try. The young people appreciate it so much and my teens have made some nice friends. And they seem to have no one else yet who could do it instead…

Last time, I had to tell the group about my separation, as they know Mr. Pedro (he used to help me with these gatherings sometimes). So I spoke about forgiveness and determination and the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

Kate, one of the oldest teenagers there, was very touched. She came to hug me and say, “Anna, you are always so inspiring. Thank you very much for your words.”

I think she is inspiring. What a great person and talented artist Kate is. Some people just know how to shine their light. 😊

 

This time father was our special guest. He held a short devotional – and tried to turn us into an instantaneous choir (dad is so cool)! We weren’t that successful with the singing, but ended up having great laughs.

Tonight’s theme was seeing the good in others and letting them know it. I repeated a “building up your self-confidence” dynamic I sometimes have with my pupils at school. Will tell you more later.

 

Today has been a very good day – yeah.

Sunny. I looked cute – better yet, I felt it! And we all know how fantastic that is for a woman. 😁

 

As for random updates:

Remember Frederick, Tinder Englishman #1? I think we’re becoming friends. We chat on Messenger and have started ringing each other sometimes, too. Nice guy. Wise. He‘s a good listener and sharer. He tells me his thoughts and general feelings concerning his recent separation – still feeling pretty angry at his ex – childcare, immediate goals and such.

His voice is manly and pleasant, but we haven’t flirted at all. Not even once. He lives in Reading – England, and since neither of us is planning on meeting in person any time soon, virtual friendship is the option.

I think what we have feels like some needed encouragement – comparable with divorce therapy groups? Appreciated and retributed.

 

With Christian, Tinder Englishman #2, it’s been intriguing to say the least – very curious to meet him soon. Chatting daily from Good Morning to Good Night…

I love that!

It inpires the artist in me. Triggers good feelings with dopamine.

 

This is a new life phase and I won’t complain about the attention I’m receiving from some interesting men. Won’t complain too much! 😊 Sooner or later I’ll find him. I just know it. ❤️ ‍No hurry.

I do have some dates set up for this Sunday to Friday. 😅 Guys who seem eager to meet up…

…I booked them in a long time ago – one at a time – for this coming week, since the teens will be going back to their dad’s place. My only chance!

This is my project at the moment. When I decide something, I go for it. Obstinate me!

 

However… today I broke one of my own rules. Had a shorter day at school and went on a coffee date straight from work. Number 10.

Yes, I know I wasn’t going to meet anyone when the teens are home with me, but this guy insisted the whole week!

I caved in.

So busy, sorry! 🙁

Kids at my place this week, other dates next week… But all right.

If you’ll come to IKEA in a couple of hours – it’s on my way home – I can meet you for a coffee straight from work. Would that be OK?  🙂

How it went?

Oh, extemporaneously…

Cute foreigner. Muslim. Pianist – very artistic, very cultural. We had a long chat and he smiled a lot, looking appreciatively into my eyes.

But, was Tom right about perfume…! 😷 😟

Seriously, Soner’s perfume was sooooo strong, and to his misfortune, I really, really disliked the scent. Made it very hard to relax and concentrate on the other aspects of the date.

Soner asked to meet again soon, but I told him I really didn’t feel the chemistry.

Smelled it? 😂

Eurgh. All the best to him!

 

Anyways, today has been a great day.

My workouts have been working. Finally!

I’m back to jogging two-three times a week (usually 3-6km). I think it’s such a perfect workout because it takes 20-30 minutes, but feels great and gives nice results.

Going to the gym, playing volleyball, lots of brisk walks. And on top of that, I just go by bike everywhere I need to. Even well dressed and in high heels. Haha. I haven’t had a public transportation card since I moved back to Helsinki three years ago.

OK, if it’s raining reeaaally hard, I’ll take the tram. Otherwise, steps it is.

 

Healthy foods, good thoughts, support from my parents. Determination.

Life’s to be lived happily now. I’ve just had enough hard times.

 

Aaahhh, best of all, I’ve gotta tell you this –> even my hair has been looking exactly the way I like it. 😁 😁

That’s no small feat, you know. Mom and sis tease me about it all the time. They say I’m never happy with my hairdressers, nor with my hair.

Is it my fault that I’m usually very unlucky with the results??? Mom and sis seem to think I’m fussy about it. Very funny. 😑

The tenure position I fought so much for is something else I’m grateful for. A flat I love, a broken loving heart under repair, quality time with daughter and son.

Joy.

Don’t you just love Fridays, Anna?

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. Day 54 of life comes in waves, good days, bad days. Good years, bad years? It’s all part of the journey. Just enjoy it.

 

 

Chapter 7 – Tino?!

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

 

Moikka Anna, ootpa tosi nätti 🙂 Mitä sun vuodenvaihteeseen kuuluu?

Kiitos! Sinäkin olet komea.

🙂 Kiitti, sun tekstin perusteella ootkin toki kansainvälinen tyyppi. Puhutko mielummin englantia vai suomea tämmösessä chatissa?

Englantia.

Ok, that’s fine. So, you’re a teacher? Have to say I always felt that teachers are kind of hot, like really hot… Something that must come from the time when I was young and still in school. 🙂  Are you teaching languages?


 

Monday, 11 January 2016.

 

Day 22

 

Married at 19, mother at 21, a dedicated friend, a good wife, an awesome mom.

She had her first teacher’s job at the age of 11. Her first official job at 17. Loving every moment of it. But then, maybe too young to be working so hard to pay the bills with Mr. Ex – trying to grow and get somewhere together.

 

Everybody suffers, and they’ve had their fair share of it. Who hasn’t? Her Ex-mother-in-law’s tragic death (murder), Mr. Ex’s depression years that followed. 😭 Devastating. And too heavy for this book.

And even before those tragic events, Anna hadn’t been feeling too lucky-in-love-and-romance, anyway. Family life, friendship, uncertainty, longing, frustration, kissing, laughter, lots of sex, loving, suspicion of betrayal, trips, raising beautiful kids, loans, university studies, work load, game nights, sports; more uncertainty. Fear of loss.

All intertwined.

 

What does it feel like to really love and commit to your spouse… To be good to him. Affectionate, hopeful for better times. Year after year.

To invest in him, argue and keep supporting and challenging him to be a better man. And just be there, for better or for worse, ’til death…

…and feel you’re not getting half of that back? 🤦‍

Oh, she fought for his love. In dignified ways – make no mistake. And how often she cried – alone – bitter tears of hurt. Never getting why it felt she wasn’t good enough for him… It stung so much to feel that way!

In her heart, she always believed that she was imperfectly wonderful.

She didn’t know it wasn’t really personal.

Hurt people hurt people. And they hurt each other numerous times.

 

So… now she’s going to enjoy a little happy-go-lucky, for the first time in her life.

No more tears!

It feels less overwhelming to just turn her back on the past and move on!

Anna has been taking care of herself in the last years. Body and soul. Right now, she’s feeling cute. Younger, a little wilder and free. Will you help me root for her?

Here we go!

 


 

Anna has been feeling beside herself. She’s been asked out on dates by some Tinder matches, but she’s asked everyone to wait.

She’s so into Tino right now that she’s simply lost interest in all the other chats. He’s coming back from his China business trip tomorrow and they’re finally going to meet in person.

Two days. My very first date! Yay.

This is so exciting!

 

Tino is this super cute Finnish engineer who works for KONE. His vibe is respectful, intriguing and fun. He is so warm and nice that they quickly move their communication to Whatsapp.

Trips, cultures, pastimes, favorite South American and Finnish songs – they’ve been chatting about all those things. He told her he plays instruments and is a good dad. Well, I should hope so… Good dads are a big turn on.

For her, chatting with Tino has been pretty amazing (hot), and she has the feeling she’ll like him in person.

He writes non-stop, answering fast, pursuing her all day long. They joke, act silly, send cute messages, and so on. This has been going on for over a week and she can’t help but feel thrilled.

He sends her a pic of his face, lying over a colorful pillow, along with a Finnish song about lions.

Romance has always inspired the artist in her. So this morning, while her pupils are focused on some exercises, she puts his song and picture together, quickly coming up with this:

 

 

It’s so weird. Now that she stops to think about it, she realizes that she’s never been on a date. Ever!

She can’t wait to finally meet him this week. 😊

 


 

Tuesday, 12 January 2016.

 

Day 23

 

Dear Diary,

 

After days and days of chatting, what a disappointment!!

What the hell??

 

About our meeting… Things changed in my life, so that I’ve agreed to focus on my family. Hopefully you understand. Anyway, maybe in this situation better to take a time out and cancel our date. 🙁

Really? 🙁 I was looking forward to meeting you and even said wait to five-six other guys who asked me out last week. 🙂 But, my kids come first, too. You seem to be a nice person, so I’ll just wish you all the best! Ciao.

 

St#u&p%id Tino thanked me for understanding, kiss kiss, and mentioned maybe asking me out in the future, but what the fuck…??

Very odd. Is he married??

Hmm. Although Tinder’s mechanics couldn’t be any easier to use, human behavior makes it just a little more complicated, it seems. 

Well…

Bola pra frente! Onward, soldier.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. E”#ur%g&h!! Shitty new beginnings.