Tuesday, 21 February 2017.
Day – Does it Matter? Love stops time.
It’s our one-year anniversary and he’s promised to call a little later.
Anna is looking out the window of the cottage she adores so much. The sun appeared from behind the heavy clouds just now, as if to celebrate their special occasion. Its rays are resting over the cleanest of snows. And when you live in Finland, you value each second of sunshine, isn’t it so?
Some friends were here with Anna over the weekend, but had to go back to work in Helsinki. For Annita, this is Spring break from school, 9 days off for ‘hiihtoloma’.
Since Mr. Boyfriend and I can’t be together today, that’s how I’ve planned it: I want to be alone!
Alone. To feel. To reflect. She needs to reminisce, in order to continue writing this book she’s recently begun.
Omar and Anna chatted on Messenger earlier. He’s been reviewing her first drafts and has some constructive criticism.
“Anna, there in Chapter 2 where you say you like practical gifts. I’m not quite buying it. Nobody’s that pragmatic. Come on!
“Gifts make one feel seen… It’s about feeling valued and important to others at the end of the day. But OK, the socks are nice. Romantic.
“Amiga, why don’t you take advantage of the fact that you’re anonymous? Be fully honest with yourself, tell the reader everything. You’re an Alias, it’s a diary. It’s safe to pour your heart out. And we’re curious.” 🙂
The next few days are going to be her first holidays alone.
Ever.
Anna had been afraid to be here like this, in such secluded surroundings. The pitch-black darkness of night. Well, she’s been locking all doors, even though you don’t really need to do that in the middle of the forest in this country.
Mostly, she had been afraid of feeling lonely out here without him – every corner of the place bursting with memories.
So far so good.
Always face your fears! Don’t run away from them. And… solitude and loneliness are different things!
This is solitude.
And what a wondrous place this is.
Back to work then, Chapter 2, where did it end?
Ah, here it is… Eggs, Light Coke, Diesel, Lindt. She is reading over her Ray Ban glasses.
“Socks. Yes!! Socks… Someday I’ll share my life closely with somebody again (but it will have to be someone as special as me), and we’ll give each other good socks for every birthday and every Christmas. One pair each. And sometimes on a normal day too, just to be romantic. ❤️😍”
I’m changing the verb tense. There. This sounds better: “And we’re wearing them all.”
I like that part, it’s sincere, hopeful, simple and romantic – like me. Hope Mr. Boyfriend takes the hint. Haha.
OK Anna, challenge of the day: be honest with yourself. Think of this whole situation. The whole mess. Dreams, frustrations, the longing. Everything you and he shared in a year.
She leans back on the couch and is suddenly in far-away-heartland. For a loooong time. When she comes back to here and now, Anna is ready to type away…
© 2017 rf
Obs. Day 428 – but love does stop time!
The Chronicles of a Happy Divorcée 