Chapter 63 – In the Middle of the Night

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

 

Day 62

 

Back home from her daughter’s Senior Dance and it was so amazing!

My little princess is all grown now. Capable, strong. With the innocent, perfect beauty of youth – soul and skin.

Ah – to be young again and know how to appreciate it!

To be honest, Anna is feeling quite young herself. She is careful, works out, eats right. The lower-carb lifestyle makes her feel extra energetic.

In fact, she’s feeling so pigg  (alert in Swedish) that she starts cleaning the house around midnight.

It’s good to do things a day earlier than planned – how very Finnish of her.

That way one can enjoy more free time the next day. Multi-tasking is fun, too, so she answers Christian’s messages.

 

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!
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Here’s one! Here you go 😊:
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2:13   Wow! Looking great.
Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it. 😊😊
 
Ah, before I forget, remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??
 .

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2:20   Oh, you have great memory. Amazing.

Phew. I thought I was going mad!

Yes, English muffins.

Yum. You have excellent taste.

You like cakes? Maybe I could bake something quick and easy.

Sure. But I don’t have a sweet tooth. What is your speciality?

Korvapuusti. Literal translation: a slap on the ear.

Hahaha. Ouch!! I felt that.

They’re actually the best cinnamon buns in the world. A Finnish recipe. What tea do you usually drink? English people drink a lot of tea! How can one be that thirsty?

2.21   Haha. Yes. Decaf. Also like camomile, peppermint – Chinese tea too. White, no sugar.

Did you find the teas you like in Finland?
My mom always complains that the ones over here are not as good as there.
.
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Well…. I did notice. Not much choice.

There’s an Intense Mint sort that is wonderful. Maybe you could bring a stash of your own tea to keep some in my flat. How intimate is that, huh? 😊

Oh….very!! 😊

Should be drinking champagne but don’t want to make you feel bad.

Why champagne, what’s the occasion? And I won’t feel bad…

A glass to celebrate meeting you.

Ah, that’s too sweet. Now you’ll have to bring it. And I’ll have a glass with you. Celebrate meeting you!

Champagne and English muffins. A good combination. 😊

2.31   Tomorrow – wow. About 40h from now. 😊 Hey, you’ll never ever guess what I’m doing. But I’ll give you three tries.

Ok.
Guess 1. Here goes.
Exercising?

Nope.

Guess 2. Cleaning.

No. Already done with that. 😊

Guess 3. Writing to me? OK, that’s not my real guess. 😊
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Guess 3. Drawing a picture?

No, no, no – too many guesses already! 😊 

Wrong again? 😔 I give up.

Taking selfie??
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2.36   Not staying awake at this time for selfies!

A clue: It hurts a little and maybe you haven’t tried it yet.

Oooh.
Standing on your head?

Planking?

What is planking?

Type of exercise. To strengthen abs.

Waxing legs. Have you ever?
 .
Hahaha. Ouch! Have I waxed?
Sure. Someone did my back (don’t have a hairy back like a bear’s though).
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Really! Did you like it?
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Loved it.
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Texting and waxing, huh?
Women!

Haha. But you won’t believe what happened to my friend after a Brazilian wax.
Won’t tell you now, though.

What happened?

It’s horrible. A mood killer!

Does it involve bits coming off??

Yes.

Ouch!!!!!!!

A bacterial infection, and he will need multiple plastic surgeries. Happened last month in Brazil. He posted on Facebook! Google it if you dare: Gangrene de Fournier.
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I’m scared. Gangrene!! Googling now.
.
Oh

My

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The worst. Losing all the skin everywhere. He almost died!

I’ve never heard of that before. Poor guy! I won’t be trying that anytime soon.

His luck was that he’s a military major and had prompt access to the best care at the military hospital. 😕 Life is so strong and frail at the same time.

I can’t get the images out of my head!!! Help!!!

Sorry! Just a warning for people to be careful when waxing…

Be careful!! Still see it. Burnt into my retinas!!
.

I promise to be extra careful.

Don’t want to have to visit you in hospital! To feed you grapes!

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2:532:5Haha.

But I can still feed you grapes.

There are better things to do here than go to the hospital. Oh! I want grapes now!
.

Like play hazel eyes??

Yeah. How long can you keep eye contact with those long lashes on the way?

.

They are quite heavy. It’s crazy! Thought about cutting them.

Don’t you dare cut them!

😊

Text and wax is a new kind of multitasking for me.

Haha. Would love to see that!

Me being a clown here? My phone is all sticky!

Clown. 🤡

😊😊  Hey, did you lose our conversations from WhatsApp like me, or did you have time to back them up?

I backed them up. 😊

Wouldn’t want to lose those fun stories we were co-authoring.

They are safe!
Omg. The gangrene pics are still open on Google. Looked like something from a butcher’s window.

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3.02   Poor friend. I hope he recovers fully! Hey, send me a cute selfie of yours? Want to see what you look like in the middle of the night.

Haha. It’ll be dark.
.
.
.
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Click and ding!

Nice dreamy eyes. 😊

 

Wow! He does look cute. Not like that crazy smile selfie. Phew!

 

Your turn now. 😊
Waxing??
.

Whatever you fancy. You are queen of selfies. 😊

3:10   Just so you see I’m really texting and waxing.

 

Click and ding!

 

You sure are!! Very impressive. And sexy. 😊
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3:16   Ok. Better let you get on with it.
Enjoy the rest of your waxing. If that’s possible!

And see you tomorrow. Xx

3.18   See you tomorrow! Xx
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© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 62. Cleaning, texting & waxing, selfieing – normal multi-tasking.

 

 

Chapter 13 – Swiped Out

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 23 January 2016.

 

Day 34

 

Dear Diary,

I’ve just had a nice jog and morning coffee. Feels good!

Swiping for over two weeks now. 150+ matches. Lots and lots and lots of simultaneous chats, of which maybe 10% end up being interesting (entertaining, deep and wise, funny or flirty – things like that), but…

I’ve only been on 5 dates and Tinder is telling me “There is no one else near you!”

Say, what??

That’s all there is?? Are all the other men in Finland taken???

What??!

Apparently, I’m all swiped out.

Haha. Maybe I’ve played Tinder to its last phase. Uh-oh.

Game over – oh, no!

 

On the positive side, I seem to have nice matches on my list. I feel there’s potential with some of the upcoming dates… 🤓

It’s surprisingly easy. Guys are eager to meet up face to face and happy to go out for a coffee. A few of them have even told me that it’s cool that I actually want to meet them in person, because there are many ladies who just want to chat. That’s so strange. 🤔

 

Ah, let me tell you.

There’s this one guy I matched with who seems so nice! Really. 😊 For one, his profile text is adorable. Check this out:

 

“Frederick (40)

Smart, loyal, romantic, dad, 5’10, enjoys travelling. Goes to the gym to keep fit. Enjoys the great outdoors. Enjoys eating out, especially curries. After friendship and hopefully more. I read other people’s profiles rather than just looking at the photos. If this appeals, then swipe right.”

 

How sweet is that?? 😻

I’m quite impressed, tbh. Then I realize he’s

 

 

 

1868km away

 

 

 

And think to myself, that explains it – he’s not from Finland… Hey, maybe that’s good news!

 

In Finland, most guys write nothing in their profile. I hate that! Laziness? Put in the effort, Finnish dudes!!

I’m not wasting any time:

 

Hi Frederick, you sound great!

Hi Anna, how is life? Are you in Finland? Fred x

 

Blah, blah, blah. Distance. Family. Board games. Jobs. Blah, blah. Pastimes. He is nice!!

 

Oh, I absolutely love the outdoors, too! I usually walk 5-15km a day, cycle around, jog a little. Enjoy picnics with bonfires in the snow, cottages in the middle of nowhere. Nothing could be better. I’m only half-Finnish, but I live in one of my favorite countries. Do you ever come to Finland?

I explored Scandinavia when I was younger. Would love to go again. I recall Finland is a beautiful country, with beautiful girls. 🙃

If you are half-Finnish, what’s your other half?

Now you guess my other half! I’ll just say it’s to the left of Europe. And that I speak five languages (four fluently)!

 

He guesses correctly.

My first guess. What a star! 🙂 You have a dark complexion. And Anna is a Spanish-type name…

I’m impressed by your language skills!

 

Blah, blah, blah. And then we discuss our divorce and letting bygones be bygones.

Yes. I saw it coming for many years. But I’m also loyal and romantic and just held on for life. For the family ideal, for the ideal of marriage. And hope…

But I wish him all the happiness, healing and success that life can bring. I want no bitterness for this new phase of my life!

Well, sounds like you believed in marriage.

Best way to be. Let the resentment go. My ex-wife and I were together for fifteen years, but I now have the chance to fall in love again, and the mad chemistry that love brings.

 

Diary dear, he looks handsome in three of his pics.

(1) Nice beard, jeans shirt, looking sideways – kind of in the diagonal – with a big smile.

(2) B&W. He’s drinking coffee, looking very intelligent.

(3) He’s cute and youthful, wearing a cap in a close up. With a cool expression, there’s warmth and joy in his eyes.

(On the other hand, I h-a-t-e-d the pic where he’s dressed like a teenager: boots, cargo pants and a hoodie. Sunglasses and a cap. NOOO!! That’s how my pupils dress).

 

I see you sometimes like to dress as a rapper. Caps, hoodies. Is it always?

Oh, the hoodie pic was just to show you all what my body looks like. I do generally dress my age, though I wish to be young.

 

Well, nobody’s perfect. Hmm. I wonder how he likes my pics. Maybe he’d have a few things to say about mine too, huh?

We’ve been chatting daily. He seems super 👍. Tech manager, two kids, lives in England, loves board games ➡️ one of my favorite hobbies!! Besides, (and I’ve told him)…

I love guys who speak with the British accent. Gives me goosebumps. 😅

 

Still, not planning on flying to England anytime soon.

But it’s pleasant to chat about so many different things. And, like me, he seems genuinely interested in making friends, which I find very honorable.

As for coffee dates, I’ve had to be careful not to over-book or double-book. 😅 Especially because I’ve decided to just go out when Kristiina and Joey are with their dad.

When they are here, I want to focus on them. Of course.

Oh, how I miss those two! They’re coming back to my place Sunday evening. Happy. 👸 🤴

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 32 since moving out. I wonder what now?

 

 

Chapter 7 – Tino?!

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

 

Moikka Anna, ootpa tosi nätti 🙂 Mitä sun vuodenvaihteeseen kuuluu?

Kiitos! Sinäkin olet komea.

🙂 Kiitti, sun tekstin perusteella ootkin toki kansainvälinen tyyppi. Puhutko mielummin englantia vai suomea tämmösessä chatissa?

Englantia.

Ok, that’s fine. So, you’re a teacher? Have to say I always felt that teachers are kind of hot, like really hot… Something that must come from the time when I was young and still in school.🙂 Are you teaching languages?


 

Monday, 11 January 2016.

 

Day 22

 

What you should know about Anna, at this point, is that she’s deep. Married at 20, mother at 22, dedicated friend, wife, mom.

She had her first teacher’s job at the age of 11. Her first official job at 17. Loving every moment of it. But then working too hard to pay the bills with Mr. Ex – trying to grow and get somewhere together.

 

Everybody suffers, and they’ve had their fair share of it. Haven’t you? Her Ex-mother-in-law’s tragic death, Mr. Ex’s depression years that followed. 😭 Devastating. And too heavy for this book.

And even before those tragic events, Anna hadn’t been feeling too lucky-in-love-and-marriage, anyway.

 

Can you imagine what it feels like to really love and commit yourself to your spouse? To be good to him. Patient, kind, affectionate, adoring. Year after year.

To invest in him, argue and always challenge him to be a better man. And just be there, for better or for worse, till death…

…and feel she wasn’t getting half of that back? 🤦‍

Oh, how often she fought for his love. In dignified ways – make no mistake. And how often she cried – alone – bitter tears of longing. Never getting why she wasn’t good enough for him…

In her heart, she always knew she was imperfectly wonderful.

But hurt people hurt people.

 

So… has she seemed silly and a little shallow to you at times? Freud explica. It’s psychological.

Give her a break, my friend. Let her enjoy a little happy-go-lucky, for the first time in her life. She can’t take tears and suffering right now.

One has got to move on. And there are good things to be grateful for.

Anna has been taking care of herself in the last years. Body and soul. Right now, she’s feeling cute. Younger, a little wilder and free. Let her be, OK? Or then root for her.

And let’s see what happens.

 


 

Anna has been feeling beside herself. She’s been asked out on dates by some Tinder matches, but she’s asked everyone to wait.

She’s so into Tino right now that she’s simply lost interest in all the other chats. He’s coming back from his China business trip tomorrow and they’re finally going to meet in person.

Two days. My very first date! Yay.

This is so exciting!

 

Tino is this super cute Finnish engineer who works for a steel industry. His vibe is respectful, intriguing and fun. He is so warm and nice that they quickly moved their communication to Whatsapp.

Trips, cultures, pastimes, favorite South American and Finnish songs – they’ve been chatting about all those things. He told her he plays instruments and is a good dad. Well, I should hope so… Good dads are a turn on and children deserve all our love.

For her, chatting with Tino has been pretty amazing and she has the feeling she’ll like him in person.

He writes non-stop, answering fast, pursuing her all day long. They joke, act silly, send cute messages, and so on. This has been going on for over a week and she can’t help but feel thrilled.

He sends her a pic of his face, lying over a colorful pillow, along with a Finnish song about lions.

Romance has always inspired the artist in her. So this morning, while her pupils are focused on some exercises, she puts his song and picture together, quickly drawing this:

 

 

It’s so weird. Now that she stops to think about it, she realizes that she’s never been on a date as a single adult. Ever!

She can’t wait to finally meet him this week. 😊

 


 

Tuesday, 12 January 2016.

 

Day 23

 

Dear Diary,

 

After days and days of chatting, what a disappointment!!

Seriously??

 

About our meeting… Things changed in my life, so that I’ve agreed to focus on my family. Hopefully you understand. Anyway, maybe in this situation better to take a time out and cancel our date. 🙁

Really? 🙁 I was looking forward to meeting you and even said wait to five-six other guys who asked me out last week. 🙂 But, family first. My kids come first, too. You seem to be a nice person, so I’ll just wish you all the best! Ciao.

Take care of yourself!

 

 

St#u&p%id Tino thanked me for understanding, kiss kiss, and mentioned maybe asking me out in the future, but what…??

Very odd. Is he married??

Hmm. Although Tinder’s mechanics couldn’t be any easier to use, human behavior makes it just a little more complicated, it seems. 

Well… Bola pra frente! Onward, soldier.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. E”#ur%g&h!! Shitty new beginnings.

 

 

Chapter 6 – Tindering, Chattering

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 9 January 2016.

 

Day 20

 

Dear Diary,

 

I’ve got so much to tell you!!

How I swipe on Tinder was my last diary entry…

Yeah, yeah, I’m quite artistic and a bit impulsive, too, sometimes. But, as exciting as Tinder is… I ponder over everything. I’ve gotta have my principles and values everywhere! No other way to live.

 

So, before I tell you about this guy I matched with, let me tell you how I try to chat:

👉  Answer every message. Good manners are all about being considerate of other people’s feelings. That’s how I expect to be treated myself, after all. If someone is disrespectful – which is rare – OK, in that case I’ll definitely unmatch. Immediately!

👉  If I realize the chat is either too slow or too boring for my taste – yawn, can’t take that – or then that the guy and I seem to have nothing in common, go “Hey, nice meeting you here and good luck with your search,” unmatching them a little later.

👉  Never share things that are too personal. You never know who is behind the profile. There seem to be some dodgy ones there, too. Hmm. A couple of my pupils said they have fake profiles on Tinder. Can you believe it? Gosh!

👉  Seek to be warm, open-minded, curious, friendly, proactive, truthful, and a teeny bit mysterious. To play a little. Show your best self. Slowly. What if he is Mr. One? And why waste time being half-hearted and lazy, anyway? Either do it right or just don’t do it!

👉  Chat just in English –  feels like too much hard work to do it in Finnish.

👉  Take the initiative when you feel like it – when the guys are quiet.

👉  One date at a time… Haha. When you’ve already scheduled a date with somebody, tell all other guys who ask you out: “Let’s wait and see how the other date goes first. I’ll let you know, OK?” (But I haven’t been on any yet).

There have been soooo many matches and pleasant chats this first week… 😄

But none as warm as Tino’s… Sigh! 😍

We matched on the 6th this month.

Gotta go! More later. 🤞

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 20 since moving out. New experiences…