Thursday, 18 February 2016.
Anna is on her way to work – alone – because the teachers who usually carpool with her have a shorter workday today. That gives her a whole hour to reflect, while she drives in the dark, heavy early morning rainstorm.
Hopes and dreams. Needs.
Frustrations and the hurt she’s determined to leave in the past.
Good things to look forward to!
Ah… how I’d love a boyfriend.
I feel young(ish) and pretty. So much affection to give! So much that could be shared. So very much I’d love to receive. And life is for sharing! We are social beings.
And I’m so passionate!!
I’ve been through too much to care for stuff. Materialism, shopping? Despicable. Meaningless bickerings? Wasting life?
And aren’t the best things for free, anyway?
Affection, embraces, kisses, caring, playfulness, chatting, loving, helping others. Smiling. Shedding emotional tears and other goodies.
With an equal.
Attraction, vulnerability, growth.
Interesting dates – fun!
If not hilarious – to say the least.
She finds that it’s been good to meet up as quickly as possible after matching on Tinder and enjoying some pleasant interaction.
You see, when you’re just online, you start building up a mental picture of the other person in your head. Maybe you imagine a certain height, weight, voice, appearance and body language.
An imagined person based on words and a few 2D images.
It’s like when you’re reading a novel and deciding for yourself what the characters look like. And, more importantly, how their personality shines.
Then comes the date and… even if you keep an open mind and heart, the longer you’ve imagined the person in a certain way… the more difficult it can be to make the shift from 2D to 3D.
Tonight is date #14. With Aarne – the one scheduled three weeks ago, since he lives in Turku. Coming to visit his daughter and excited to meet me – he says.
Hmm. He’s 54.
Uh… I just wonder…
…if I’ll like Christian in person — Anna laughs.
She parks her car and reads the Englishman’s last messages again.
4:30 Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😞 Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊
🎼 I’ve got sunshine in a cloudy day… 🎶
9:21 Still feeling like that, yes. But at 4 I was fast asleep.
Glad that you wrote any way. 😊 How are you feeling today? Any coughing? Sore throat?
11:31 Morning. Feel much worse today. Cold is finally coming out. Throat feels better though. Nose will be raw by end of today.
Hope you’re having a nice day there.
Ah, is he really going to make it with his cold??
14:24 Oh, no!! Get well soon. I hope you can stay in bed all day today again. Maybe the salt helped with the throat?
Raw nose? Try lip balm around there a few times per day. Solves the problem.
Awful weather here. Raining hard. Would be perfect to be under covers with good company and watch a nice movie, drinking hot cocoa…
14:47 Eurgh. Struggling today. Glad I don’t have to be anywhere else. Raining? No!! Bring back the snow. ☃️ I like your ideas for spending a rainy day. 😊
15:00 😊 Maybe Monday?
15:01 OK. Hoping for rain in that case. 😊
🎼 When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way? 🎶
Got hotel booked today. Staying at Radisson Blue Royal hotel until Tuesday.
15:24 Nice place! And walking distance to my flat. About 1 km downhill and you’re at my door. Maybe I could choose a restaurant between the hotel and my place, instead of Vapiano. Maybe Koti Pizza? Since you’re ill… So you won’t need to walk that much. What do you think?
15:41 That sounds like a great plan. 😊 And downhill too! Can I ski there??
Haha. You can try to ski there. I’ll watch. It’ll be funny!
During the week, we could have some wonderful veggie soup at my place. Would be good for your cold, too!
Meeting up at 8 or 8:30?
If you could meet me at hotel around 2015 that would be great. I’m still not that familiar with Helsinki….but improving. This is my 4th trip. 5th in March. 😊
Let’s do that. Should be there by then.
If the flight is late – snow storm or something – I’m sure we’ll manage to find some other place open.
Healthy pizza sounds great. And your soup. 😊 Want to try that. I won’t let you starve and hope to take you out a few times.
16:22 So we have ourselves a plan. 😊 Oh, I eat very little nowadays. Can survive with 4-6 eggs and I’m happy.
16:24 You should keep chickens!!
Soup, salads, eggs. Volleyball. Not much more that I need. Except a little loving.
That’s good exercise too. 😊 Miss that.
Blink slowly at me with those dreamy eyelashes of yours… And that voice. Maybe I won’t be able to resist. Not sure. Who knows??
Hmmm. I’m just coming out of a long long relationship. So no hurry.
Christian… Should I maybe tell you something?
I’m not really the wild kind. My values are important to me. Having said that… I’d love to get to know someone slowly. Find a boyfriend. Someone to enjoy life with, respect, spend time with whenever possible. Have my person out there!
I read something that makes sense. Something I’ve experienced in life, and it was totally worth it. Even though it ended… ☹️
“I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience… You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.” And… “Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.”
16:58 I’m quoting Anais Nin. Ever heard of her? Beautiful!
I’ve had it and hope to again. Someday!
How do you feel about this? Are you looking for something completely different?
You seem to be a nice person. Friend? Boyfriend? Who knows? We have to meet first, spend some time together. Will there be any chemistry? Maybe.
But I like sincerity and I think you do, too. When there’s honesty, people can make informed decisions and be on the same page.
Would love to hear your thoughts. A little now and more later.
17:14 Thought-provoking quotes there. I haven’t seen them before. To start with, friendship is so important for me – hopefully much more, but it takes a lot of time to get to know people.
Somehow, I can sense that you are such a good person!
I had some bad people in my life. It was only recently I decided to cut my ties. There are too many nice people in the world go bother with the bad ones.
I love what you write. So… looking forward to Sunday. Hope you won’t be disappointed. Either way, we’ll have a fun evening. And some good food and laughs.
🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶.
And… You have to teach me ‘Hazel Eyes,’ Love Letter and Ingenious – all the games you told me about. You promised! 😊
17:23 You sound wise. Looking forward to Sunday!!
Fingers crossed for rain. 😊 Back in bed.
18:08 Good! You need that!
Can’t wait to feel well again. Btw, is my hotel close to station? I’m catching bus from airport.
The hotel is about 600m uphill from the station.
Ok. Hope I can make it uphill!! 😊 They need a chairlift.
You’re so funny! I wish I could pick you up, but it’s sauna time and the teens are coming over for that and then leaving.
Won’t have much luggage so should be easy. Oh. I would never expect that!!
Don’t want to miss the sauna.
Sauna is the right place for you.
🎼 I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me
I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees 🎶
But I would have loved picking you up. You would have been able to hear me singing in the car from moment zero.
Not necessary at all. But thanks.
18:13 No singing necessary for you then. LOL! 😊 Loved your suggestion of getting myself some chickens!
18:15 Meant the lift. Please sing away!! 😊
Look at my dinner.
Mmmm. Making me hungry.
I knew that you meant the lift. Was just teasing you a little.
You teasy-joker! 😊
Anna sends him another picture of her taking a nap. Under lots of covers.
Are you having another power nap?
No. Actually just eating those eggs.
OK. Thought you were multitasking. 😊
Teasing is kind of fun, too. I’m in an energetic mood all the time nowadays! Beware. I might grab you.
I was wondering where you were balancing the eggs. 😊 Grabbing? I like a bit of energy.
(Love how witty you are)! Just a bit? I heard you…
Haha. OK. A lot!!
🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶
So lucky to be on holidays from tomorrow afternoon. 😊 Hiihtoloma – our spring break – meant for skiing in Finland.
18:22 Enjoy! Holidays at last.
I’ve brought home some games for 2 from school. Some of my own, so that we’ll have enough to do in case of bad weather.
Competitiveness and intelligence are big turn-ons!
18:30 So I have to win. What are the games?
Ha. You want to practice, huh? Ingenious. That’s one of the games. 😊 Ticket to Ride. 6 Nimmt.
I want to do my homework for the teacher.
The rules are in Finnish, so, too bad!
Haha. I see. I will just have to trust your teaching, then.
Are you going to sleep soon? Get your energy back for me.
Yep. Sleeping. But I’m thinking about your hazel eyes.
Sweet dreams… I’m going out soon.
Enjoy. I will be thinking about sauna games, as well.
You do that and try to come up with some cool rules. Talk to you later then, handsome eyes.
Sleep well later.
P.S. Three days!! X
Three days for you and me in 3D. 😊 Finally!
🎼 I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
I’ve got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do) 🎶
© 2017 rf
Obs. Day 60 – hey, hey, hey! 🎶
(My Girl © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC)