Chapter 12 – Tinder Dates #2-5

 

Mon-Wed, 18-20 January 2016.

 

Days 29-31

 

Handsome Sami seems respectable. An older psychiatrist, that surely means he’s to be trusted, right?

Anna invites him over to her place for tea. It’s a spontaneous invitation. She’s not used to so much alone time and someone to talk to feels like a good idea.

He’s kind and well-mannered and they converse serenely about an array of different topics.

He says he thinks she’s beautiful, but also that he’s shy and doesn’t really know how to do relationships.

No sparks are flying, yet it feels interesting, though very, very strange to be serving tea alone to a new acquaintance at her place, with no one to answer to about it, for the very first time in her life.

No one who will even ask! Or know, unless she tells.

They hug lightly as they say good-bye at her door. They don’t even kiss and will never see each other again.


 

Aaro is a very fit psychologist/ physiotherapist / ballroom dancer. By the look in one of the pictures, he must be really good at his dancing.

A great smile with professional body language. On the chat, he says he’s won prizes and really adores it all. 👍👍👍

They meet late in the evening in a park after an animated phone call. He looks excited, but has come straight from dance class and is smelling of old sweat in his bright green-pink skiing outfit.

OMG, what??

Seriously! 😐

As they talk, he bends and stretches in all possible ways. Anna is flabbergasted and starts feeling very sad.

He asks her about her recent separation and she starts crying. He turns on his psychologist mode and gives her good advice, while taking the liberty of rubbing her shoulders.

He thinks she’s crying over her separation, but honestly? She’s crying because she’s so disappointed at the date and is starting to feel lonely, longing for companionship.

It’s been a month and a half since I separated from Mr. Ex… Gosh! Will it be this hard to find a man I’ll be attracted to and have a boyfriend again??

Back home, she writes to thank him for the free appointment(s) before they say goodbye and unmatch. And hopes he’ll find himself a great dance partner.


 

Tapio doesn’t speak English, so they have to chat in Finnish.

(After the Aaro experience), she tells him she’s been thinking that people should give each other some clear feedback after dates, so they could improve themselves, and he finds her whole idea of ratings hilarious.

He plays volleyball, Anna’s favorite sport, so she decides to give him a chance, despite the fact they’ll have to speak Finnish.

He wants a proper date. Would she like a picnic and a walk in the freezing February weather or a restaurant meal, he wonders? She chooses the dinner.

They meet in front of Tennispalatsi and walk down to the Nepalese restaurant by the Central Railway Station.

Oh! He’s nicely dressed!

With a ¾ black woolen overcoat that looks quite new, jeans and a casual shirt – Anna thinks it’s very sweet when guys put in the effort to do things nicely and give a good first impression!👍🥇 🤸‍ 🏆

Is that too much to ask?

They chat in Finnish as they walk to the restaurant.

By the time they sit to eat, however, she has already realized that there’ll be no chemistry between them, so she decides to order just a salad (more about that later – it’s a whole system she’s unknowingly developing).

 

He’s having a full course meal, which takes forever to eat, and inwardly, she’s getting impatient.

Gosh, this was a mistake! It’s so draining to try to date in Finnish and much less exciting.😟 

So, as awful as it feels, she excuses herself to go powder her nose and there she texts Timo, another Tinder guy she’s been chatting with. 🤥🙁

Timo told her earlier that he was going to be at the Finnkino cinema nearby tonight, so after asking him if his movie was any good, she suggests they meet up for a drink in an hour.

Yeah, sure, I could have a drink! 😀

 

Back at their table, nice Tapio wants to pay and won’t take no for an answer. She feels bad. 🤦‍

Then, he insists on walking her back to her bike, parked by Tennispalatsi in the upper part of Kamppi.

After they hug good-bye, he doesn’t release her, but instead steals a little gentlemanly kiss on the mouth, to her great surprise!

He asks if she still wants to hang out some more, and she lies that she’s feeling a bit tired.

“Bye-bye. Let’s chat later and thank you very much for the date!”

Anna waits and then carefully cycles back down to Casa Largo, near the Railway Station. She doesn’t want to hurt Tapio’s feelings, but there was just no attraction and she didn’t know how to tell someone that, on the spot.

Hm, another google research coming up!

 

The next day, when Tapio cutely asks for his feedback, she messages him:

+ you were really sweet

+ well dressed

+ walked me back to my bike like a true gentleman

+ gave me a proper date (my first dinner date ever) and even insisted on paying for it (thank you!)

 

– you don’t like to speak English

– I get tired speaking Finnish in my free time

– I don’t feel we have enough things in common

 

He thanks her, amused. “You really are a teacher!! 😂”

They never unmatch on the app and mention that perhaps they’ll end up playing volleyball together, at some point.


 

Timo is waiting for Anna on the second floor of Casa Largo.

He’s having tea at the bar, as she sits next to him. It is his tea-total month, he explains.

He works for the Parliament and his English is amazing. Timo’s just a little taller than Anna, probably around 1,68 or so. But personality-wise he’s a big man, very fun, making her laugh a lot.

After half an hour of lively talk, it occurs to her that is she’s having a great time.

His eyes shine like a little boy’s as he talks in this fast and furious pace about events, museums, galleries, festive parties and all the people and places he knows around the center of Helsinki. He seems to be passionate about his work, friends, art, his teens, and traveling.

He tells her about an Art History course he’s taking at the Atheneum. He likes traveling abroad, but says that in Finland anywhere outside the city center feels too far for him.

Anna, on the other hand, loves the Finnish countryside and tries hard to stay away from organized events, concerts and fixed programs.

 

He says he knows for a fact that he never ever wants to get married again, because he loves being a bachelor. He seems to have had a great time, too, and they say good night with a surprisingly warm, firm hug outside the restaurant, agreeing to see each other again sometime soon.

Back at home, she realizes she’s feeling very thirsty.

Ha! He didn’t even ask if I wanted to go get my own tea. Hmm.

He texts her on and off, not really asking Anna anything about her life. He just sends her pics of his events, expositions and trips. She thinks he’s friendly – but finds this kind of interaction really strange.

He’s not trying to get to know me better at all!

A few weeks later, he writes: “We should meet up, Anna!”

By then it is too late. Anna’s got a massive, heart-warming crush on Tinder Date #16. 😍

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 29-31 since moving out. What now?

 

Author: TinderellaAnna

Anna is a character. Half-fictional, half-inspired in many, many true events. Half-European, half-Latin-American. She is happy, she is strong, she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. Despite the divorce - not of her choice - she is determined to be joyful, grateful, hopeful, sweet; believing that life is for sharing and that he is somewhere out there. But he will have to be as lovable as she is. After all, better alone than in bad company. Sigh: but better in good company than alone... Disclaimer: All names and places have been changed to protect the people who happen to be true.

7 thoughts on “Chapter 12 – Tinder Dates #2-5”

    1. Exactly! That’s what I ask myself too. Haha.

      My ex and his girlfriend in the Bahamas. That’s what happened.

      In hindsight I know that I had been a good girl all my life. Always following all the rules. Always putting others first. Always pondering and being wise. When is the time to live, enjoy and just be happy and pampered? 2016 was definitely it. Hopefully more in the coming years.

      2017 has been a kind of no dating year instead. 😀

      But I don’t regret it. 2016 was basically one of the happiest of my life.

      Like

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