Chapter 3 – A Change of Heart

This blog is a book. Maybe better read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Saturday, 2 January 2016.

 

Day 13

 

Dear Diary,

Things have been going quite well, but you won’t believe what happened! I was driving yesterday when Mr. Ex called, asking to book a time with me to sit down and talk.

“Ex, is it that serious that you cannot tell me on the phone??” — I feel furious for about ten minutes. That’s a new record for me. I’ve been angry for fifteen before. Ha! 😉

Then I get a grip and call a couple of friends. My best friend advises me to catch Mr. Ex off guard and really listen. We go to the closest Hesburger. I am feeling calm but curious. Don’t ask me how.

“Anna, how are things?” He attempts to small talk.

“Just fine, thanks. But you did not bring me here to talk about trivialities, did you now?”

“Haha,” — fidgety laughter —  “Eh, first of all, I just want to say that in all those years we were together I never loved another lady. You were always the only one.

“Until now.” — dead silence for a split of a second “But, I promised you that you would be the first one to be informed, so we need to talk.”

“Who is she?” — I immediately need to know.

 

Of course it had crossed my mind that he had another woman. Men do not usually get a divorce before they have found a new person.

Why would they exchange the comfort of a home with a wife, a friend, a mother and extra earnings for a new phase with less money, more responsibilities with the kids and the added loneliness?

“Oh, Anna, she’s asked me not to reveal who she is to anyone yet. She’s afraid everybody will get really angry at her and think she is culpable of breaking up a family.” he tries.

“Well, as much as I accepted your decision to get a divorce, Ex, I won’t take no for an answer!” I make it clear — “I won’t blame her, you know that.”  he looks thoughtful.

“Ex, you and I have been good friends, good hosts, and even co-workers, but on the emotional level our marriage hasn’t been OK at all for a very long time.” I keep pushing it.

“Ex, you’ve got to tell me!! — he’s still silent, so I go — “If you don’t tell me…”

“What?” — he looks alarmed for a second.

“I’ll just complicate every single thing I can, from now on.” — I smile victoriously.

He chuckles — “Yeah, I told her I was going to try, but knowing you, kind of thought I wouldn’t be successful.”

 

So, the truth is out. 🙁

He’s dating a university classmate of his. E%ur#g!h, I hope he gets really fat and bald, fast!!! is how it feels.

But, I consciously decide to turn the other cheek, once again… And try to wish them well. Sigh. And he knows it.

What can I say?

I’m feeling subdued for a moment. Life is messy. So complicated.

Besides, the guy has suffered his fair share on Earth – I’ll give him that. Unfortunately, I’ve also caused him some pain (but he’s caused me much more)!

Mixed feelings.

Cannot help myself, though, so I offer him some unsolicited advice. It feels like a small victory that he’s stuck and has to listen:

“Hey Ex, I have some things to say now. Hear me out, OK?

“Be the best possible dad you can, focusing on the teens when it’s your turn to take care of them. If your new relationship doesn’t work out…” — at this point he rolls his eyes —  “…your kids will still be there for you if you don’t neglect them now.

“Hey, and don’t you abandon your faith! Keep talking to God. Your mother taught you that and it has always been so important to you. Even though it may feel contradictory to what you’re doing right now, and church people – especially – will most likely judge your actions…” — you see, both of us grew up in pastors’ families.

Sigh.

“Finally, try to do things right in the relationship this time, will you? Try to make her happy, OK? If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you did all you could? The rest will depend on her,” I add, not quite believing my own ears.

I mean all I’ve said, yet I know there’s a bit of hidden complaint in my last advice…

 

He asks me if we can change the upcoming dates of childcare so he can travel to the Bahamas with Ms. Newbie this week.

Right.

That explains why he wanted to talk? Haha!

“Yeah, let’s help each other,” — I also know how to give a little — “But remember this later on, when it’s my turn to travel!” — I’m hoping there will be a plane crash…

…But no, that wouldn’t be fair to the other passengers. 😅

 

He wishes me well and we hug good-by.

Lightly.

It feels like I don’t know him anymore. As if I’m hugging a total stranger. 23 years have amounted to this moment.

Surreal.

Doesn’t feel great at all – so much to process.

Later.

Not now.

I’ll do that later.

 

That night I’m feeling annoyed and have a serious change of heart: if Mr. Ex can fly to paradise and act like a teenager in love, I also get to have some fun and try out a few new things. Staying single for a year? Ridiculous!

So, tim……….…ber!

No, Tin…der, here I come. 😊

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 13 since moving out. New beginnings!

 

 

Author: TinderellaAnna

Anna is a character. Half-fictional, half-inspired in many, many true events. Half-European, half-Latin-American. She is happy, she is strong, she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. Despite the divorce - not of her choice - she is determined to be joyful, grateful, hopeful, sweet; believing that life is for sharing and that he is somewhere out there. But he will have to be as lovable as she is. After all, better alone than in bad company. Sigh: but better in good company than alone... Disclaimer: All names and places have been changed to protect the people who happen to be true.

6 thoughts on “Chapter 3 – A Change of Heart”

  1. That is so true when you said a man never leaves one woman until he has the other one lined up! Of course he does not want to be alone, or do his own laundry, or take care of kids on his own….but the fact that you did all that for him does not enter his mind at all. They become so selfish, it is an amazing transformation.

    Liked by 1 person

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