determination – Page 2 – The Chronicles of a Happy Divorcée

Chapter 70 – Tinder Date #16, Part Three

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-WTF!?

Exhilarated Anna smiles. She’s got a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight. I’m single again…

No.

Let me rephrase that: I’m single and hot and full of energy and life. Cute! Fun. Playful. Kind.

Single and ready to mingle – she giggles – with a big heart…

…And my date is here. Yay, yay, yay!!

20:49 OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

Gonna meet charming prince Christian any minute now. Yahoo! (Hmm. Hope he’s not too much of a frog).

Game on?

The Love Game. One can’t win if one doesn’t dare play. Try, Anna, try! Risk it.

Game on!!

Anna is standing outside Christian’s hotel, and her body is singing… 🎼 I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it – I’m about to lose control and I think I like it… 🎶

Yay!!

She literally can’t wait to see him anymore. Big smile, bubbly heart and many bouncy butterflies flying in her stomach. Hopefully in his, too. They’re flying everywhere. Out of control. Haha. YOLO, yeah! That’s what I’m talking about, babe.

They’ve agreed to meet around 20:30.

She looks at her watch and…

...21:15? Seriously?! Where is this man?? I thought Englishmen were punctual.

Interesting…?! Hmmm.

21:20 Hey there, I’m outside your hotel with my son’s dog. James Bond also wants to meet you. 😊 Are you almost ready?

It’s getting a little cold in the drizzling rain for little 007 – but no reply from Christian. What’s going on?

21:37 I’m so sorry. I got lost!!! I’m at Oluthuone Kaisla.

WTF?? I thought he was dying to meet me! What is he doing in a bar instead???

21:38 Weren’t you at the hotel?

I got lost.

I’m in front of the Radisson Blu Royal. Is this your hotel? I was going to pick you up from here, wasn’t that what we planned?

I’m so tired and ill. I’ll get a taxi.

Oh! He’s feeling ill? Oh.

We’re gonna lose each other if he starts moving around.

A taxi. Where to?

He doesn’t have my address. And I’m not at home.

Can you pick me up, please? So sorry! Everyone I asked pointed me towards the wrong hotel.

I can come to the bar – but if I come there, will you be there?

I’m not moving. I’m lost. I’ll be waiting for you here. Please! And, sorry again. ☹️

Anna walks a km down to Kaisla and waits by the door on Vilhonkatu. She can’t go in with the dog, so she tries calling him.

Line busy.

She starts feeling suspicious. Almost irritated. Not quite, but almost. Sigh. I’ll give him the benefit of a doubt. He can probably explain this.

22:03 Are you at the bar? I’m outside Kaisla now, with 007. Can’t see you from here.

He calls her and says he’s coming outside in a minute.

But still nothing.

This is too weird! Eurgh!?!?!?!!!

Is he even where he says he is???

About five minutes go by before Anna asks some people who are coming out of the establishment if there possibly is another entrance to the bar. “Yes, there is,” they answer with a friendly smile.

Ahhh. That explains it. Phew.

Well… maybe!

She walks James Bond round the block to Kaisaniemenkatu. She spots a tall man standing by the tram stop with a suitcase and his back towards her. Feeling feisty now.

Is he even who he says he is?? Be brave, now.

Jack Chi 007 – good doggie – will sniff him and scare him off if he’s a bad guy!!

She approaches him and says, “Hi, Christian?” with a careful smile.

He turns slowly.

Obs. D-WTF – it really happened like this, folks!

I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Chapter 69 – Tinder Date #16, Part Two

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-Evening

Anna’s spring break has started well. 🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶 Remember?

This is her first holiday week ever as a single adult woman, with no care in the world for eight more days. I’m gonna enjoy this as much as I can!

Anna is feeling happy and Christian surely plays a part in that.

Still can’t believe that crazy selfie he sent me, though.

Anna had insisted for days he send her a picture with a smile, teeth showing. She wanted to make sure Christian had teeth, what else? A nice smile is such a turn on, after all!

So, tonight she’s finally going to meet that very, very short, chubby, sixty-five-year-old jolly grandpa with a pink complexion, a forced smile and eyes wide open. Like one of Snow White’s little darlings. Bald, with a few long hairs sticking up his head against the backlight.

Not at all like in his other pics. Haha.

Clueless selfie. He’s such a guy!

Endearing. Some clueless guys are simply endearing.

Ding!

15:00 On my way. 😊 But I forgot to bring my scarf. Delayed flight. Will send you a message once I’m onboard. 😊

Yay! Looking forward to seeing you. Have a safe flight! 😊 About the cold, don’t worry, I’ll bring you one of my mom’s gift-project scarves.

Great. Thanks so much! 😊 What’s the best way to get the hotel?

She sends him detailed directions. Ha! It’s pretty straightforward. Isn’t he supposed to be a world traveller?! And Helsinki is so tiny!

15:50 Can always get lost. 😊 Can you leave a trail of breadcrumbs?

15:58 Funny guy! I’ll leave you a trail of smiles. If you get lost, text me and I’ll come and save you.

16:20 Will do. Just put me in your bicycle basket. 😊 Boarding soon. Take a power nap!

Of course I will! 😊

D-evening has now come and Anna’s ready to mingle. Yay!

She wanted to wear a skirt, but since it is 0°C outside, she’s chosen black slacks and a blue jeans shirt. Hold-ups underneath. High-heeled leather Army-style Vagabond boots on her feet, and to warm her up, a new navy Didriksson’s parka, her favorite scarf and matching gloves (she doesn’t like wearing hats – no).

Loose hair and a happy smile.

She is looking good and feeling awesome!

19:20 The eagle has landed. And can’t find his luggage!

Anna is just waiting around. Getting restless. I can’t wait any longer!! Can you?

20:10 Found my suitcase! And… I’m in Helsinki!!!! Heading for hotel. Will call you when I am there. 😊 Really, really nice to be back. And can’t wait to see you.

Tervetuloa! Xx 😊😊

Ohhh! I’m too excited to wait around the house.

She walks to Mr. Ex’s place, wishes the teens a good holiday – with big hugs – and borrows the dog for the walk up to the hotel.

There has been lots of subtle teasing from both lately. And from his side “cough, cough and splutter,” too.

A funny man…

…With a cold!

Where does he find the motivation to get up from bed and catch a flight? Haha – I did ask him if he wanted to postpone his trip, but no.

So, playing nurse on a date, am I?

20:15 I’m wearing my snow boots. Don’t want to break more bones!

Better safe than sorry. I’m wearing casual. Let’s match?

Yes! Don’t wear heels. 😊 Slippery out there.

Anna and James Bond take brisk steps through the Kolmiopuisto park, towards Kamppi. Cute doggie! It’s drizzling and dark, but who cares??

Soon, soon, soon!

Yes!

Christian has put in so much effort so far – like guys who know what they are doing in the dating game. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying his attention. — She smiles, with a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight.

I’m a single woman now – and my date is here.

Yay, yay, yay!!

20:49 OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

Game on!!

She’s standing outside his hotel and can’t wait to see him…

Literally — she looks at her watch — 21:15? Seriously? Where is this guy??

Obs. D-Evening

(The snow is falling gracefully here in Tampere as I write this chapter, looking out the windows at the beautiful scenery of my parents’ backyard).

Chapter 68 – Tinder Date #16, Part One

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-Afternoon

Anna is feeling as peppy as a little girl on Christmas morning since she woke up and jumped out of bed.

She cannot believe they are finally going to meet face to face after three weeks of enthusiastic chatting on Whatsapp – such heart-warming interaction. Sweet and witty! Back and forth between Finland and Germany.

Ahhh…

What if Christian really is a special person??

Please be!!

Please… Don’t disappoint me.

Well, his texts and phone calls have been quite impressive – I’ll give him that much… Expectations are high. Just saying.

Anna, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You’ll know soon enough.

If there’s one thing our Anna has learned from her previous fifteen dates, it’s that you never know what the chemistry (or lack thereof) will be like, until you spend some time together in person.

Yes.

She’s found that interesting messages usually make for an interesting person, and phone calls already give you half an accurate first impression.

Definitely.

But, you’ve gotta meet live, really… Spend time together!

Sometimes it only takes ten seconds to know.

But can the attraction grow on you as he shows you the different sides of himself little by little?

Or the opposite? Haha – surely.

It takes time to know people.

Then, there’s something else about guys. They have traditionally been considered the stronger, braver gender, but sometimes I think they seem to have interest in a lady, but they just quit way too fast.

Reasonable men won’t pursue a lady if they don’t think they stand a chance. It’s as if their energy is limited, so they need a clear/mysterious sign to see that it’s worth putting in the effort.

This little Love Game is harder than it seems! Gosh.

And more fun.

And more frustrating.

And the winning prize the best there can be (but remember to put in the work to keep the prize alive through the years).

Ahhh… Anna sighs.

Ahhh…

It’s like the birds and their back and forth dance of love. We’re just the same!

You chat, he rings you up, you laugh together. You go a little silent – but just a little! You show interest, and then go about your normal daily business.

You live life to the full. Go on many dates, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Never! Not before he will…

He writes again, he pursues you. He finds you interesting and doesn’t go AWOL. You’re active and happy in life.

And thinking of him.

You send him a new message – show him he easily comes back to your mind. Awww. He writes to you for hours on end. Makes you laugh like at the circus. The chat flows. It feels good for both of you.

You send a couple of selfies. Tell him about your day. Wow – he’s interested! He comments. It seems like he cares and finds you adoring for some reason. Expectations are on the rise. You say Good Night 💋, he says Sweet Dreams Xx – and you sleep with a huge smile on your face. Feeling warm and nice.

It’s hot – I’ll open the window.

Sometimes both of you go silent for longer hours and you can’t really know – but you’re hoping you’re on his mind, too. Both are investing time and attention – but playing it just a teeny bit cool, as well. Just to make it more exciting.

This seduction dance goes on for days, weeks or months in some cases.

In theirs, time flies, and the three weeks since they matched on Tinder and started chatting are complete. The awaited D-Day is today. D-evening, actually.

They are going to meet up in person in six hours. Sex, på svenska.

Anna finds attraction, romance, passion and love amazing. Maybe it’s happened to her three-four times since she was eleven years old?

That’s why she has to be so picky. You can’t share all that with just anyone. It’s gotta be special. He’s gotta feel like the One. He’s gotta put in the effort and not be a quitter.

OK, I’m 40 now.

You fall in love with someone (or the same One) once per decade. That’s not much at all!! Maybe it happens more often as you grow older and approach your end?? Live before it’s too late?? OMG. Fingers crossed.

The clock is ticking, and as you can see, all kinds of thoughts are rushing through Anna’s excitable mind as she’s relaxing at home, listening to music on her record player, thinking of what outfit to wear. Singing, humming, swinging to the tune.

She’s on holiday – yay! Hiihtoloma. Her flat is looking awesome – everything is so new – now clean, as well.

Ahhh… I should go and set the table. If Christian and I don’t find a restaurant open, we can always come here and have the veggie soup…?

The one I ordered from Mr. Ex – she giggles.

Pedro makes the best veggie soup ever – he’s such a great cook! First, he carries two heavy grocery bags full of fresh vegetables and legumes from the grocery store. Twenty different sorts, for sure. Then, he sits there in the kitchen – a whole day peeling, slicing and chopping the greens. His late mother’s recipe from Rio Grande do Sul. Extremely healthy. Delicious!

In the last year of their marriage, he would make it whenever she asked him to, while sipping chimarão. She’d freeze different portions of the soup and have them throughout the week.

Last time she went to his home to pick up the dog, she bought a huge pot of the magical soup he’d just made. He laughed at it, but OK, agreed. And gave her the recipe for any future need.

Anna defroze it over the night and tasted it this morning. It seemed a little bland, for some reason, but no problem! She’s chopped garlic, onions, celery and lots of ginger herself, being careful not to touch the garlic so her fingertips won’t stink and be a turn off.

She’s fried it all up and added it to the boiling soup. Must be perfect now.

Ha! I can make soup, too!

Uh…Where was I?

Ahhh… daydreaming about tonight’s date. And the Love Game. Mmm.

You talk, you smile, you’re both polite. You look at each other.

Then, look down, fast. In a feminine way.

You have some soup, you smile again, say something interesting. Laugh at his jokes.

The expectation slowly rises. There’s flirting. A little blushing.

He’s cute. He’s sm💗rt. His smile is nice. You touch his arms lightly. There is energy in the air – loads – and he can feel that you like him. His peacock feathers open up. Wide open. You melt.

It takes two to tango.

To tango, to salsa, to samba. To zumba? Definitely to cha-cha-cha.

Well, let’s see what happens.

(Tonight, I promise!!)

Obs. D-Day and only six hours to wait!

Chapter 67 – What is Love?

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

D-Day

Sunday morning of D-Day.

Yes!!

Anna is on her way to the K-Market grocery store in Jätkäsaari to buy some ginger and celery to spice up the veggie soup that’s ready and waiting in the fridge back home.

What else should I get?

Some grapes — she giggles.

She’s in a great mood. She’s slept very, very well.

🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, on the right side, on the right side. I got out of bed on the right side and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶

As she walks to the store, she’s listening to the YouTube video of an old song from the classic movie Dangerous When Wet that her father Marcos used to watch with her and her siblings when they were little. Starring Esther Williams…

…and Tom and Jerry – yeah, them! You’ve seen them. The grey cat who does all the chasing and the brown mouse who does all the teasing.

Ah… good memories!

After the song has ended, a random TV show starts on auto-play. It is in this unexpected video that Anna hears a fantastic quote for the very first time:

“Love is a game that one can play and two can win.” — Eva Gabor.

Wow…!

Wow. Yeah… Uh-hmm.

Absolutely perfect!

A game that one can play and two can win?

Genius!

She’s excited. Very excited over D-Day.

I wanna play! I wanna play this love game!

But what if I lose??

Is it worth the risk of new heartbreak?

Is it…?

Yes!

B-r-i-n-g i-t o-n.

But… What if Chris is not the one?

Humpf – there’ll be others!

So, bring it ON!

Obs. D-Day.

Chapter 66 – 24 Hours

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Ending Day 62

21:03 Hello! Hope you’ve had a great day. I’m just packing, so will be there in just over 24 hours! 😊 Can’t wait to see you. Early night tonight…
.

God, this guy is something else. Well-mannered and endearing. Communicative! Seems normal/wonderful. Hopefully as nice as I expect.

.
Last night was pretty bad. Taxi arrives 11am tomorrow.
My forecast says snow in Helsinki. 🌨️

21:39 Hi Chris,
Yes, an interesting day! Just coming home. After leaving James Bond at home, I decided to drop by a friend’s farewell party. Some Brazilian football players hit on me. Haha! I know the type…

I left quite fast after that because a couple of women started fighting!
But the young woman who is moving back to Brazil is lovely. She’s the one who introduced me to Tinder, so I’m grateful. 😊

Had to go thank her, hug her good-bye and buy some of her wonderful feijoada, a national Brazilian dish. Have you ever tried it?

21:49 Home now to finish tidying up for a prince who’s coming over tomorrow. 😊 Can’t wait. I’ve heard he’s handsome, sweet, friendly and very witty. I’m hoping he’s hot, too. I think he’s a good person. That’s the main thing I can hope for.

Hmm. You’re probably sleeping to have energy for tomorrow, right? Just like Sleeping Beauty. Gosh! Wonder how many dragons and thorny bushes I’ll have to fight to get to you and possibly give you a wake up kiss!

See you in 22h! Tervetuloa vaan!

21:55 Hello! More cleaning and tidying? No more waxing though, right? 😊 Awake. Planning a full night’s sleep.

Fighting!!? What was that all about?? Glad you made your escape. 😊

22:05 😊 So, I’ll go and pick you up at your hotel at 8:15 tomorrow evening.

Perfect. I’ll let you know if there are any delays.

Delays, yay! You know how women can always use some extra time in front of the mirror: selfies, waxing and such.

Haha. Sounds intriguing! 😊 Just finishing packing.

Nice! Have a safe trip!

Thanks. I’m coming alone this time. Did I tell you that?

No.

Maybe business meetings just for one day. CEO/partner decided to postpone his trip to Finland to March. 😊

Got my Karoo desert haircut today. 😊 Just for you!

22:31 😊😊 Good style!

Yes! Bald men should always trim their hair short. At least the younger ones.

Btw, is your business meeting on Wednesday? I have an appointment at 1 pm and another from 4:30-6. Maybe could do something with the kids at lunch time. And then I’ll be free again at night.

23:41 Yes, it is. Glad you are spending time with kids. 😊

Ah… Tattoo mystery soon to be solved! Have you always liked tattoos? How many do you have?

Oh! Haha. I got my first tattoo to cover a surgical scar. I had two difficult c-sections, especially the second. They sewed me up badly, so I had to get a corrective plastic surgery some years later. I was very pleased with the result and the better quality of life after that! That’s when Sarah, my sister, told me some people cover scars with tattoos.

It’s tough being a woman!!

I never ever thought I’d get a tattoo in my life. I wasn’t the kind. but I figured I preferred seeing a tattoo to a scar…

23:48 Great idea with that. 😊 Is it a snake?

No snakes!!! I’m still planning to get a third and last tattoo to cover another scar.

Well… you have a tattoo parlour in your neighbourhood. Remember the pic you sent me? Unorthodox Tattoo?

I have a few scars. We can compare them. 😊

Let’s compete!

I think you may win. But we shall see!

Haha. I’ve got 5!

Got 3.

😊 Hey, getting sleepy here, but movies and games waiting… Some good food! And wax strips if you need them.

Feel free to do your computer work this coming week, whenever you have to. Just let me know.

I should be pretty free. It’ll be like a holiday. 😊

OK. But still, I promise not to cage you up. I won’t use my dungeon this week! 😊 Good night.

Hahaha. But I want to see that! Is it down by the sauna?

Sweet dreams!

Obs. Day 62 of just being silly. And hoping! Never lose hope!

Chapter 63 – In the Middle of the Night

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Day 62

Back home from her daughter’s Senior Dance and it was so amazing!

My little princess is all grown now. Capable, strong. With the innocent, perfect beauty of youth – soul and skin.

Ah – to be young again and know how to appreciate it!

To be honest, Anna is feeling quite young herself. She is careful, works out, eats right. The lower-carb lifestyle makes her feel extra energetic.

In fact, she’s feeling so pigg (alert in Swedish) that she starts cleaning the house around midnight.

It’s good to do things a day earlier than planned – how very Finnish of her.

That way one can enjoy more free time the next day. Multi-tasking is fun, too, so she answers Christian’s messages.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!

Here’s one! Here you go 😊:

Video of Kristiina’s Senior Dance S2 :))

2:13 Wow! Looking great.

Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it. 😊😊

Ah, before I forget, remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

2:20 Oh, you have great memory. Amazing.

Phew. I thought I was going mad!

Yes, English muffins.

Yum. You have excellent taste.

You like cakes? Maybe I could bake something quick and easy.

Sure. But I don’t have a sweet tooth. What is your speciality?

Korvapuusti. Literal translation: a slap on the ear.

Hahaha. Ouch!! I felt that.

They’re actually the best cinnamon buns in the world. A Finnish recipe. What tea do you usually drink? English people drink a lot of tea! How can one be that thirsty?

2.21 Haha. Yes. Decaf. Also like camomile, peppermint – Chinese tea too. White, no sugar.

Did you find the teas you like in Finland?
My mom always complains that the ones over here are not as good as there.

.…

Well…. I did notice. Not much choice.

There’s an Intense Mint sort that is wonderful. Maybe you could bring a stash of your own tea to keep some in my flat. How intimate is that, huh? 😊

Oh….very!! 😊

Should be drinking champagne but don’t want to make you feel bad.

Why champagne, what’s the occasion? And I won’t feel bad…

A glass to celebrate meeting you.

Ah, that’s too sweet. Now you’ll have to bring it. And I’ll have a glass with you. Celebrate meeting you!

Champagne and English muffins. A good combination. 😊

2.31 Tomorrow – wow. About 40h from now. 😊 Hey, you’ll never ever guess what I’m doing. But I’ll give you three tries.

Ok.

Guess 1. Here goes.

Exercising?

Nope.

Guess 2. Cleaning.

No. Already done with that. 😊

Guess 3. Writing to me? OK, that’s not my real guess. 😊

Guess 3. Drawing a picture?

No, no, no – too many guesses already! 😊

Wrong again? 😔 I give up.

Taking selfie??

2.36 Not staying awake at this time for selfies!

A clue: It hurts a little and maybe you haven’t tried it yet.

Oooh.
Standing on your head?
Planking?

What is planking?

Type of exercise. To strengthen abs.

Waxing legs. Have you ever?

Hahaha. Ouch! Have I waxed?
Sure. Someone did my back (don’t have a hairy back like a bear’s though).

Really! Did you like it?

Loved it.

Texting and waxing, huh?

Women!

Haha. But you won’t believe what happened to my friend after a Brazilian wax. Won’t tell you now, though.

What happened?

It’s horrible. A mood killer!

Does it involve bits coming off??

Yes.

Ouch!!!!!!!

A bacterial infection, and he will need multiple plastic surgeries. Happened last month in Brazil. He posted on Facebook! Google it if you dare: Gangrene de Fournier.

I’m scared. Gangrene!! Googling now.

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst. Losing all the skin everywhere. He almost died!

I’ve never heard of that before. Poor guy! I won’t be trying that anytime soon.

His luck was that he’s a military major and had prompt access to the best care at the military hospital. 😕 Life is so strong and frail at the same time.

I can’t get the images out of my head!!! Help!!!

Sorry! Just a warning for people to be careful when waxing…

Be careful!! Still see it. Burnt into my retinas!!

I promise to be extra careful.

Don’t want to have to visit you in hospital! To feed you grapes!

2:532:5Haha.

But I can still feed you grapes.

There are better things to do here than go to the hospital. Oh! I want grapes now!

Like play hazel eyes??

Yeah. How long can you keep eye contact with those long lashes on the way?

They are quite heavy. It’s crazy! Thought about cutting them.

Don’t you dare cut them!

😊

Text and wax is a new kind of multitasking for me.

Haha. Would love to see that!

Me being a clown here? My phone is all sticky!

Clown. 🤡

😊😊 Hey, did you lose our conversations from WhatsApp like me, or did you have time to back them up?

I backed them up. 😊

Wouldn’t want to lose those fun stories we were co-authoring.

They are safe!
Omg. The gangrene pics are still open on Google. Looked like something from a butcher’s window.

3.02 Poor friend. I hope he recovers fully! Hey, send me a cute selfie of yours? Want to see what you look like in the middle of the night.

Haha. It’ll be dark.

Click and ding!

Nice dreamy eyes. 😊

Wow! He does look cute. Not like that crazy smile selfie. Phew!

Your turn now. 😊

Waxing??

Whatever you fancy. You are queen of selfies. 😊

3:10 Just so you see I’m really texting and waxing.

Click and ding!

You sure are!! Very impressive. And sexy. 😊

3:16 Ok. Better let you get on with it.

Enjoy the rest of your waxing. If that’s possible!

And see you tomorrow. Xx

3.18 See you tomorrow! Xx

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 62. Cleaning, texting & waxing, selfieing – normal multi-tasking.

(Hey, You Guys!)

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Timeless, maybe.

Sidenotes To The Guys

My book has been called female-oriented. I don’t think I agree. I guess it depends on who you are and what you’re looking to find when you read me. Hopefully, you’re finding something worthwhile.

In my experience, many men are as sensitive – or even more – than the average woman. Romantic, meek, adorable – strong and wonderfully manly, at the same time.

Some men I know (and some new stranger-friends) are reading these chronicles and sending me comments – giving me all kinds of thought and emotion-provoking feedback. I really, really appreciate it, guys.

Thank you for your valuable input, your time and interest, your intelligence and depth. Thank you for letting our souls touch a little bit, as our journeys cross paths. The world should have more beings like you. I’m lucky to have if just a fraction – you’re heroes, and you make a difference! Like you can’t imagine.

But that was not what I intended for this chapter. This parenthesis.

So……….

Hey, you guys (as in Goonies)!

This book is not a How-to-Find-a-Lady-Online, nor a How-To-Understand-a-Tinderella kind of book. Nonetheless, if you’re attentive, you will capture some indirect tips in my writings. Dating, food for thought, some thoughts on being a decent human being…

Well, it all comes down to this.

Be human, yes, be flawed and powerfully vulnerable – by all means. Be yourself, but seek to become the best version of yourself – even if just one tiny step at a time. We won’t respect ourselves otherwise. I hear that progress equals happiness, and I agree.

(What’s our alternative? Growing older and sadder with time? A downhill trip to the grave? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s meant to be).

Try. Succeed. Stumble and fall. Err and then dust off, chin up and repeat. A small step, but a small step in the right direction. It piles up and amounts to much. Get help, if needed.

(I often need help. Hugs + talking are the best kind!)

Whether you’re single and happy to stay so, or longing for a partner and all the love in the world. Whether you’re happily married, or in the process of deciding to divorce.

I’m sure that whatever the case, you want to feel alive, very ALIVE!

Vulnerable, yet mighty. Responsible, but true. You want to be gentle and loved and respected. And wild!

You want to be needed, missed and admired – to hug her and make her laugh, make her life happier and lighter (whoever the word ‘her’ represents here).

You thrive in having something to offer and living a purpose-filled life. And you have lots to give. We need each other.

Be true, be true, be true, darling. “To thine own self be true.” Go through the process, but get there, don’t give in. I believe in you.

If you were suddenly in your deathbed, would you say, “I wish I had lived a life true to myself – not the life that others expected of me. I wish I had expressed my feelings, and I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.”?

If not, you’re doing great. Yay!

And to those of you in hopes of finding a special gal (the same works for keeping her, I guess).

If you’re not ready for dating, don’t do it. Wait a little. Work on yourself. But when you’re ready…

Go for it 100%!

I can’t promise you the lady you like will like you back, but I can promise you this:

Women like attitude (without the arrogance). Women respond to self-confidence and self-respect. Remember to respect them, too.

Women like guys who are wise and cool and brave. Decisive. They know what they want and dare to try. Men who have the courage to give their best, put in the effort and risk rejection – even if it hurts. (Aren’t guys supposed to love adventure and uncertainty? Hunting? Battlefields? Conquering? A quest, a fair fight with dignity, any way??)

You don’t have to be James Bond, but when you decide to go dating/to keep the lady, don’t just be yourself – but your best!

Don’t do anything half-heartedly, with meager efforts, out of fear. Yuk!

You need time? Ask for it. Communicate.

It doesn’t matter if you’re super skinny or short, super fat or old or whatever. Kind of poor? I don’t care.

Have goals, be working on your goals. Going somewhere. Be affectionate – romantic sometimes. Don’t be mean. I think what she really cares about is the fact that you try hard – even though what you really want is to succeed.

Put on a great new-looking smart shirt or a casual outfit, wash your hair, trim your beard, back straight, smile! Treat her with respect and admiration. Listen to her a little more than you talk yourself. Care! Look into her eyes – practice eye contact. Be a perfect gentleman. Well-mannered, at least.

But dare to hold her hands in the second part of the date. To kiss her good-bye. Text her back soon! The world is quick nowadays, and if you dormir no ponto, if you give it too much time… If she’s really special – uh-oh!

Read her body language and watch out for the signs. Is she touching her hair as she looks at you? Leaning her head? Retouching her lip gloss? Is she touching your arm lightly? Is her smile genuine? Does she think you’re funny? Can you sense if you’re being smart and interesting in her eyes?

And what if you don’t like her? That’s OK, too. Others will. Just like there will be a person who will like you. Your unique self.

Change the game, but be a gentleman anyway. Don’t be a jerk – thank her for a lovely evening. Wish her good luck!

Leave your best impression wherever you go – be it a yes or a friendly no – and she’ll respect you for it. You’ll respect yourself. And that’s powerful!

(I respect all the times Mr. Ex was a good man. All the times he was true and vulnerable, a decent guy. The moments when he was his best. I’ll remember. And most of all, I respect him for not wasting any more of my time and daring to ask for a divorce. For finally making up his mind. Thank you, Pedro.)

If you’re not for each other, at least you did your part and treated her with dignity. Why would you regret that?

But don’t give her half-efforts, excuses or laziness, BS. You deserve to leave a better impression than that.

Your statement, your signature.

That’s just one girl’s very humble opinion. And I’m as fallible as you.

XOXOXOXO,

Anna

(And my real name to others).

Obs. Today I received this cute message. Here it goes for you, too:

Life is as passing as pain.

As beautiful as love.

As simple as me.

As important as you.

Therefore fight, forgive, love, conquer and enjoy every second of it.

If you have to choose between being happy or being important, choose being happy,

Because important you already are! 😊

Chapter 61 – Tinder Date #14

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

They are sitting at a nice table – her usual one – at the Nepalese restaurant in Jätkäsaari, Anna’s neighborhood. Aarne has a huge meal, and she?

She has the soup and an open mind.

It’s the third time she’s at this very restaurant on Tinder dates. With three different men in three weeks. The waiter is starting to look at her in a funny way.

Ops, he’ll think I’m an escort! Maybe time to change venues?

Aarne is tall and a little chubby, friendly and warm. His teeth look like a bunny’s, but he’s cute and nice enough.

54.

She doesn’t feel the chemistry, however, so no flirting from her side!

To discourage him, she just talks about her Ex, church and such things. Haha.

Not cool? Sorry! 😁

She can’t help herself. What is she supposed to do if she’s just waiting for tomorrow to chat with Christian again?

3 days to meet him in person.

Happy Sigh.

Maybe I shouldn’t be going out on these dates anymore before I meet Christian and figure out whether I’ll like him or not.

But there’s another one scheduled for tomorrow. Bad manners to cancel last minute…

Like Tino did to me! Humpf.

Meeting new people is exciting.

Yes.

Besides… This is Anna’s You’re-Free-Now-So-Find-Out-Who’s-Available-Out-There Project, remember?

Play the field!

And her Possibly–Make-Some-New-Friends Project.

The Have-Some-Fun-Live-A-Little and Don’t-Hide-In-Your-House-While-You-Heal and Dare-To-Believe-In-Love-Again Projects are also worth a mention. Don’t you think?

Ultimately, what this really, really is, is…

…The Find-A-B♥️yfriend-To-Share-The-Good-Simple-Things-In-Life-With Project.

Pause.

But Anna, don’t you forget The Don’t-Put-All-Your-Eggs-In-One-Basket-Yet Project. You haven’t met Mr. Boyfriend yet.

The smirky waiter walks by their table and Aarne asks, “Can I have a coffee please? Long drive home soon.” — and turning his gaze to Anna — “What about you? Would you like a coffee or tea?”

“Just another glass of water, please!” 😁🚰😁

Later that night, Aarne texts her.

Dear Anna, I’m now safely back home in Turku, thanks for your concern.

You are very nice, too. 🙂 Thank you for your pleasant company tonight. But, I have to be say that we are from different generations and I have never dated anyone as young as you.

Honestly? I must admit I don’t know exactly why – can’t put my finger on it just yet – but I didn’t really feel the chemistry.

Friends?

Obs. End of Day 60 of… The Above-All-What-You’re-Doing-Is-Rediscovering-Yourself Project.

Chapter 60 – Coffee or Soup?

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

Annita knows what she wants (new friends and passion, romance, a fun relationship – please, please?)…

She thinks she knows what she’s doing… So, why not?

What we have here is a very project-oriented kind of person (a little obstinate, too). And such a r🙂mantic – my, oh my.

When Anna is determined, she usually goes for it.

With her logic, emotions, body, heart and soul!

Blood and sweat, time, energy, affection, faith and excitement!

But, uh-oh!

Too many dinner dates equals too much food and getting fat.

No!!!

Not to mention the extra expenses in a short period of time.

She’s been out fifteen times in the last three weeks.

Gosh, thank God for my dating protocol!!

Anna realizes three things early on in this story:

(1) She likes it when the men are gentlemen.

(2) But… she doesn’t want to take advantage of anyone.

(3) And… she doesn’t want to gain weight! Or spend too much.

What to do, what to do??

She goes on her first few dates, learns from a few mistakes and comes up with…

The (aforementioned) Dating Protocol:

➡️ She gets a good first impression of the guy within a couple of minutes (She usually knows in the first five seconds if she doesn’t like him – a Mr. Maybe takes a little longer to read).

➡️➡️ If they’re going out on a coffee date, she’ll just have a cup of coffee or tea. (Tea if she thinks she might want to kiss him – and he’s also having tea).

➡️➡️➡️ If it’s a dinner date instead, she’ll just have a soup or a salad.

So far, she’s watched and patiently waited for many men to finish eating full courses.

Oh well… it does give me a chance to observe them and to come up with interesting topics to talk about.

Results wrap-up:

She hasn’t gained weight.

She can afford the dates.

Most guys have insisted on treating her.

No luck in finding Mr. Boyfriend yet.

Dating experience gained and allllllll her fingers crossed.

Hmmm, what if I realize from moment zero that I don’t like my date?

Hmm, maybe…

…I’ll just order a glass of tap water. 🚰

Obs. Day 60 of looking to score a b♥️yfriend (not a free meal)!

Chapter 59 – 3D

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

Anna is on her way to work – alone – because the teachers who usually carpool with her have a shorter workday today. That gives her a whole hour to reflect, while she drives in the dark, heavy early morning rainstorm.

Hopes and dreams. Needs.

Frustrations and the hurt she’s determined to leave in the past.

Good things to look forward to!

Ah… how I’d love a boyfriend.

I feel young(ish) and pretty. So much affection to give! So much that could be shared. So very much I’d love to receive. And life is for sharing! We are social beings.

And I’m so passionate!!

I’ve been through too much to care for stuff. Materialism, shopping? Despicable. Meaningless bickerings? Wasting life?

And aren’t the best things for free, anyway?

Affection, embraces, kisses, caring, playfulness, chatting, loving, helping others. Smiling. Shedding emotional tears and other goodies.

With an equal.

Attraction, vulnerability, growth.

Interesting dates – fun!

Hilarious, sometimes – to say the least.

She finds that it’s been good to meet up as quickly as possible after matching on Tinder, and she’s been enjoying some pleasant interaction.

You see, when you’re just online, you start building up a mental picture of the other person in your head. Maybe you imagine a certain height, weight, voice, appearance and body language.

An imagined person based on words and a few 2D images.

It’s like when you’re reading a novel and deciding for yourself what the characters look like. And, more importantly, how their personality shines through.

Then comes the date and… even if you keep an open mind and heart, the longer you’ve imagined the person in a certain way… the more difficult it can be to make the shift from 2D to 3D.

Oh!

Tonight is date #14. With Aarne – the one scheduled three weeks ago, since he lives in Turku. Coming to visit his daughter and excited to meet me – he says.

Hmm. He’s 54.

Finnish.

Uh… I just wonder…

…if I’ll like Christian in person — Anna laughs.

She parks her car and reads the Englishman’s last messages again.

4:30 Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😞 Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

🎼 I’ve got sunshine in a cloudy day… 🎶

9:21 Still feeling like that, yes. But at 4 I was fast asleep.

Glad that you wrote any way. 😊 How are you feeling today? Any coughing? Sore throat?

11:31 Morning. Feel much worse today. Cold is finally coming out. Throat feels better though. Nose will be raw by end of today.

Hope you’re having a nice day there.

Ah, is he really going to make it with his cold??

14:24 Oh, no!! Get well soon. I hope you can stay in bed all day today again. Maybe the salt helped with the throat?

Raw nose? Try lip balm around there a few times per day. Solves the problem.

Awful weather here. Raining hard. Would be perfect to be under covers with good company and watch a nice movie, drinking hot cocoa…

14:47 Eurgh. Struggling today. Glad I don’t have to be anywhere else. Raining? No!! Bring back the snow. ☃️ I like your ideas for spending a rainy day. 😊

15:00 😊 Maybe Monday?

15:01 OK. Hoping for rain in that case. 😊

Me, too!

🎼 When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way? 🎶

Got hotel booked today. Staying at Radisson Blue Royal hotel until Tuesday.

15:24 Nice place! And walking distance to my flat. About 1 km downhill and you’re at my door. Maybe I could choose a restaurant between the hotel and my place, instead of Vapiano. Maybe Koti Pizza? Since you’re ill… So you won’t need to walk that much. What do you think?

15:41 That sounds like a great plan. 😊 And downhill too! Can I ski there??

Haha. You can try to ski there. I’ll watch. It’ll be funny!

During the week, we could have some wonderful veggie soup at my place. Would be good for your cold, too!

Meeting up at 8 or 8:30?

If you could meet me at hotel around 2015 that would be great. I’m still not that familiar with Helsinki….but improving. This is my 4th trip. 5th in March. 😊

Nice!

Let’s do that. Should be there by then.

If the flight is late – snow storm or something – I’m sure we’ll manage to find some other place open.

Healthy pizza sounds great. And your soup. 😊 Want to try that. I won’t let you starve and hope to take you out a few times.

16:22 So we have ourselves a plan. 😊 Oh, I eat very little nowadays. Can survive with 4-6 eggs and I’m happy.

16:24 You should keep chickens!!

Soup, salads, eggs. Volleyball. Not much more that I need. Except a little loving.

That’s good exercise too. 😊 Miss that.

Blink slowly at me with those dreamy eyelashes of yours… And that voice. Maybe I won’t be able to resist. Not sure. Who knows??

Hmmm. I’m just coming out of a long long relationship. So no hurry.

Christian… Should I maybe tell you something?

I’m not really the wild kind. My values are important to me. Having said that… I’d love to get to know someone slowly. Find a boyfriend. Someone to enjoy life with, respect, spend time with whenever possible. Have my person out there!

I read something that makes sense. Something I’ve experienced in life, and it was totally worth it. Even though it ended… ☹️

“I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience… You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.” And… “Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.”

16:58 I’m quoting Anais Nin. Ever heard of her? Beautiful!

I’ve had it and hope to again. Someday!

How do you feel about this? Are you looking for something completely different?

You seem to be a nice person. Friend? Boyfriend? Who knows? We have to meet first, spend some time together. Will there be any chemistry? Maybe.

But I like sincerity and I think you do, too. When there’s honesty, people can make informed decisions and be on the same page.

Would love to hear your thoughts. A little now and more later.

17:14 Thought-provoking quotes there. I haven’t seen them before. To start with, friendship is so important for me – hopefully much more, but it takes a lot of time to get to know people.

Somehow, I can sense that you are such a good person!

I had some bad people in my life. It was only recently I decided to cut my ties. There are too many nice people in the world go bother with the bad ones.

I love what you write. So… looking forward to Sunday. Hope you won’t be disappointed. Either way, we’ll have a fun evening. And some good food and laughs.

🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶.

And… You have to teach me ‘Hazel Eyes,’ Love Letter and Ingenious – all the games you told me about. You promised! 😊

17:23 You sound wise. Looking forward to Sunday!!

Fingers crossed for rain. 😊 Back in bed.

18:08 Good! You need that!

Can’t wait to feel well again. Btw, is my hotel close to station? I’m catching bus from airport.

The hotel is about 600m uphill from the station.

Ok. Hope I can make it uphill!! 😊 They need a chairlift.

You’re so funny! I wish I could pick you up, but it’s sauna time and the teens are coming over for that and then leaving.

Won’t have much luggage so should be easy. Oh. I would never expect that!!

Don’t want to miss the sauna.

Sauna is the right place for you.

🎼 I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me
I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees 🎶

But I would have loved picking you up. You would have been able to hear me singing in the car from moment zero.

Not necessary at all. But thanks.

18:13 No singing necessary for you then. LOL! 😊 Loved your suggestion of getting myself some chickens!

18:15 Meant the lift. Please sing away!! 😊

Look at my dinner.

Mmmm. Making me hungry.

I knew that you meant the lift. Was just teasing you a little.

You teasy-joker! 😊

Anna sends him another picture of her taking a nap. Under lots of covers.

Are you having another power nap?

No. Actually just eating those eggs.

OK. Thought you were multitasking. 😊

Teasing is kind of fun, too. I’m in an energetic mood all the time nowadays! Beware. I might grab you.

I was wondering where you were balancing the eggs. 😊 Grabbing? I like a bit of energy.

(Love how witty you are)! Just a bit? I heard you…

Haha. OK. A lot!!

🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶

So lucky to be on holidays from tomorrow afternoon. 😊 Hiihtoloma – our spring break – meant for skiing in Finland.

18:22 Enjoy! Holidays at last.

I’ve brought home some games for 2 from school. Some of my own, so that we’ll have enough to do in case of bad weather.

Great. 😊

Competitiveness and intelligence are big turn-ons!

18:30 So I have to win. What are the games?

Ha. You want to practice, huh? Ingenious. That’s one of the games. 😊 Ticket to Ride. 6 Nimmt.

I want to do my homework for the teacher.

The rules are in Finnish, so, too bad!

Haha. I see. I will just have to trust your teaching, then.

Are you going to sleep soon? Get your energy back for me.

Yep. Sleeping. But I’m thinking about your hazel eyes.

Sweet dreams… I’m going out soon.

Enjoy. I will be thinking about sauna games, as well.

You do that and try to come up with some cool rules. Talk to you later then, handsome eyes.

Sleep well later.

P.S. Three days!! X

Three days for you and me in 3D. 😊 Finally!

🎼 I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
I’ve got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do) 🎶

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 60 – hey, hey, hey! 🎶