Chapter 71 – Tinder Date #16, Part Four

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D – Welcome T😊 Finland

 

Anna walks James Bond round the block to Kaisaniemenkatu. She spots a tall man standing by the tram stop with a suitcase and his back towards her.

Suspense is in the air.

Is he even who he says he is?? Be brave, now…! Jack Chi 007 will definitely sniff him and scare him off if he’s a bad guy!

 

IMG_2461

 

She approaches the man and says, “Hi, Christian?” with a careful smile.

He turns slowly.

 

Her heart skips a beat.

Oh……..! He’s just like his best pics! (See, Anna? That crazy, clueless selfie. I told you to take the risk and meet him in person – otherwise you’d never know!)

Christian is tall – good built, back straight.

1,82 against Anna’s 1,61.

Aww. He looks d-r-e-a-m-y. Yummy. — Inner giggles.

1 x ?

Her careful smile widens as her suspicions melt away a little bit. She can already see a glimpse of the the mysterious Englishman who’s made her laugh and feel important quite a few times in the last three weeks.

 

“There you are!” He smiles back, enveloping her in his arms. The way she likes it. Awww.

His very first embrace (Can you believe it?) is firm and nice, “transmitting human warmth,” as the saying goes in Portuguese. Christian seems to be used to hugging, and comfortable with touching new acquaintances in a natural way. A confident manner.

Score!

2 x ?

 

“Hi Anna,” he exclaims with a joyful voice, “How are you doing?

“Wow, you look exactly like the girl in the pictures!” Oh God, that sexy voice. His Queen’s English is to die for. Eurgh! She gets goose bumps all over.

3 x ?

 

Stop. This is torture! And she’s dropping her guard already.

Act cool, Anna.

 

“Really? Oh, thank you.” Anna replies.

“No.” He sounds adamant now, “You look even better!” He adds while squatting to greet James Bond, who swings his tail and sniffs him approvingly.

Surprise, surprise. This dog always loves everybody. I’m not giving Christian extra points for that!

“Hey, little one!” Christian says, patting the dog and chatting with him.

Meanwhile, careful Anna quickly scans the Englishman some more.

She checks his luggage to see whether it has recent flight luggage stickers. He could be a street bum with a smart phone, the Tinder app and a desperate need to find lodging, after all.

Good! The Finnair stickers match the story. Check. ☑️

More points? No, just relief. Same score.

3 x ? So far so good on my side of things.

 

Christian is wearing Hugo Boss glasses, a ¾ length dark gray overcoat, jeans and hiking boots. Casual and elegant. Smooth face, no wrinkles. Bald, but his remaining hair is nicely trimmed – the Karoo Desert cut, as she suggested and he promised.

4 x ? Yay.

He’s 45, but hmm, he could pass for 42.

 

“Christian, you’re so late that all the restaurants have closed down already. That’s Helsinki on Sundays for you.

“Why don’t we go to my place to have that veggie soup?” Now that he showed up. Hey, about that….. She suddenly remembers his tardiness and feels she deserves an explanation.

“Yes, it’d be my pleasure, thanks. Can we drop my suitcase at the Radisson first?”

 

“Some mysterious hotel you booked yourself there, huh?” she teases him.

“Oh. Soooo sorry. I haven’t found it yet. Please, would you show me the way?”

“I thought you knew Helsinki well, Christian! What’s happened?” she smiles, a little suspicious again.

“Oh Anna, I think I have a fever. I’m feeling pretty weak.” puppy eyes.

 

“Poor Christian. Let me feel your forehead.”

She touches him and – oh electricity, butterflies, zizzz – “Yes! Maybe you do have a temperature. Oh no! Whatever shall we do?? Talking of which…” she opens her mocca leather bag and…

“Here’s the scarf. Where are my manners. Do you like brown? It’s a gift from my mom to you!” she smiles as she wraps Riitta’s very own art form around his neck, touching his skin a little bit again. Zizzzzz.

“There you go!” says Anna, looking into his beautiful eyes. “That’s better!”

Their gaze locks for a few seconds. More butterflies. More zizzz, zizzzzz. Oh… 🎼 Tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen. Tonight we’ll put all other things aside…? 🎶

 

“Very kind of you. Yes. I feel better already.” English manners…

5 x ?  But what about me?? What’s my score? I must definitely be 10 points ahead, just for having been kept waiting. Ha!

“Thank your mom for me, will you? Btw……. may I buy another one of her scarves?” he asks while they walk down the path she’s leading.

“Oh, no, no. Mom has hand-knitted about 800 of them, so far. One per day. Aren’t they perfect? Her project is to make a thousand and give them away around the world.

“I help distribute the scarves to whomever wants them. Mom says she prays that the people wearing them will be blessed. You can have a few more, if you’d like.” (He later chooses a green one).

 

As Christian follows Anna, he explains that he had tried checking in at the Radisson on Mikonkatu, by the railway station.

“Oh, that’s where you texted me from, then?” Yes. When his turn at the reception came, he had been told that he was at the wrong Radisson.

“A person in the streets pointed me towards Ha-ka-niemi…!? Hakaniemi, is that how you say it? I walked there and back. By the time I came back to Kaisla, I couldn’t stand taking one more step. Until you came to save me.

“There must be at least three Radissons in Helsinki, Anna.” He protests.

“Oh, really!” Coughing and spluttering like a dying vagrant in the drizzling rain, an Englishman takes refuge inside a pub. —  “Your hotel is in the complete opposite direction, silly man! Come on, let me lead you there.” Anna laughs, relieved to have their earlier missencounter accounted for.

OK. The slate has been wiped clean.

 

23:45

Suitcase drop at Radisson ☑️

James Bond returned to Mr. Ex ☑️

Christian survives the walk to her flat in Jätkäsaari – uphill with no ski lift and downhill with no bicycle basket ☑️

 

“Welcome to my humble abode, Mr. Englishman.”

Anna feels just a little shy. A little self-conscious, while making that 2D to 3D shift. You never know what will happen next, no matter how many times you’ve imagined it.

And that’s fun.

“Thank you, it’s so great to finally be here,” he says as he puts down a shopping bag on the entrance floor.

She shows him around the apartment. He likes its modern architecture.

“Yes,” Anna says. “Even though it is only 59 square meters, all the spaces look huge and have been well-planned.”

“Definitely. And I love your sofa. What a great choice!”

“Thanks.”  she opens up the practical sheet she sewed the other night, explaining the whole concept to him “When the teens are here, the apartment can feel a little small. Especially if James Bond is also with us. But we are South Americans, so we love proximity. This way we can easily hang out, talk and hug!” she giggles.

“Here, let me show you something in the bedroom. My son is an artist like me, so I’ve painted him a black board directly on the wall. A DIY.”

“Wow. You painted this yourself? Well done,” he says, touching the board with his long fingers, “Can we draw? Give me some chalk. You go and draw something, as well. There. On the other end. Don’t look. No peeping!

“Uh, no peeping, Anna! Make your own drawing. Gosh.” he feigns annoyance. Funny guy. 

Zizzz.

Anna is drawing a dog and she’s feeling curious. What is he up, too? I’m the the artist, after all.

This is fun.

 

“OK, now you may look.”  He smiles, visibly satisfied with his masterpiece.

unnamed2

 

“Oh……. What is that?”

“Can’t you see the necklace, Anna? It has your name on it. It’s you!” he is laughing now.

“What?? What is that snake?? JB is a dog, not a snake. That’s ridiculous!”

“Oh, that’s your mysterious tattoo, the snake, Anna. The one you said you have on your belly!” he teases her and they laugh.

“I don’t have a snake on my belly!!” Oh, gosh! He is looking so handsome. Anna feels the urge to to kiss him, to be hugged again.

She doesn’t lose control just yet. But all her insides are going  🎼  I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. 🎶

“Yes, you do! It’s a snake. I know it.” he laughs.

“It is not.” Fun guy my ass, he’s a clever dog! That’s what he is. — “Hey, the soup is boiling. Let’s go and have that dinner now, shall we?”

 

Paracetamol and a convalescence dinner of strong homemade veggie soup ☑️

Christian is looking better already. Happy to be here. There’s so much his eyes seem to want to say, but Anna can’t tell what. There is no clear flirting during dinner.

Pleasant conversations – polite, smart, interesting. Kids, their separations last year. Work, hobbies. Blah, blah, some laughter, blah, blah. ☑️

He’s mysterious – what an intriguing guy – making her want to find out more. ☑️

You see, Anna is being mysterious, too. She is a bit competitive and loves a nice challenge. Oh, how I miss kissing. Sooooo much! And I like him…

🎼  I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can’t get enough
And if you move real slow, I’ll let it go 🎶
.

He loads the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. “My job!” he gently pushes her away “You did all that cooking for us. No, don’t help me.”

“OK.” she retreats, putting the leftovers in the fridge and the French baguettes in a plastic bag.

“Btw, I bought the champagne I promised to. At the airport, Anna. To celebrate finally meeting my tattooed mystery! Shall we have a glass tonight?”

🎼  I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you 🎶

“Yes! And, Christian…?”

© 2017 rf

Obs. Day too happy to count.
.
I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
.
.

The Hard Part

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

My Dearest Readers,

 

How are you doing?

I’m doing well, and…

…Happy to have the whole weekend ahead for posting the next chapters here on the blog. That should be exciting. 🙂

 

Thank you for reading me. 😊

 

Thank you for laughing out loud, for crying sad tears of empathy (good for you!)…

…Hopefully not tears welling up from your own personal pain…

Thank you for rooting for Anna: for a hope and a future. 🙏

And for being brave to let this story induce your self-reflection and growth. I solemnly swear to keep my fingers crossed for all of us.

(Anyway… These are the things dozens of my readers have told me on the comment sections below, as well as on my other social media).

 

Once a week, I read a chapter or two aloud to Joey, my awesome son.

He’s said, “Mom, I love your style. You’re funny!! I’m not divorced, you know, so your story is not that relatable to me, but… I can imagine it must be to so many divorced oldies out there.”

When I’m driving, he reads my latest chapter aloud (for us to review it together), making funny voices and giving my feelings the wrong intonations and all the wrong intentions.

Eurgh. Such teasing is horrible! Later, when I try to read the chapter again on my own, I can’t remember how I meant it anymore. I can just hear Joey’s interpretation and I feel quite desperate. Haha.

At other times, when I’m writing and he is sitting nearby making one more of his amazingly creative, funny, deep and darkly sarcastic drawings, he comes to me, takes control of my hands and changes my text.

For example like this:

krismudando

 

Or then like this:

unnamed1

 

Oh God, I am so grateful for Joey. Don’t know where I’d be without his companionship in 2017… We are both artists and have lots of friendship chemistry. Love you, Joey!! You make me happy and so proud, cool boy.

 

Anyway.

As I was saying…

 

Dear reader, if you’ve accompanied the story this far and are feeling curious at all about Christian… (I’ve been called cruel for the way I finished the last chapter – and I loved it) …that’s good!

But please, bear with me just a little while longer (and I’ll tell you why you should).

For one, I’m doing my best.

Writing is just a hobby alongside my full-time job and volleyball and friends and a nice tidy home and quality time with my teens, etc.

It’s the first time I’m writing a book and hmmm! It is much harder than it seems.

It takes hours!

Thinking, planning (and then doing the exact opposite), feeling it, rephrasing, re-reading and doing some editing. Hours and hours. What takes me forever to write takes you literally three minutes to read – have you considered that?

But that’s all very, very easy in comparison to…

Not the hard part at all.

 

So, what’s the hard part???

Hmm. Let’s see.

After reading about forty chapters, my daughter Kristiina called me one night. She was overwhelmed with tears. “Mom, I’m so sorry for all the things you went through. You are such a wonderful person, happy and loving, and you deserve the best. I remember so many things you’re not telling the reader. You should tell them even more – they need to understand! I remember.”

I had to calm her down. Comfort her.

“Aww. Such a beautiful empathetic heart you have!

“Don’t worry, darling. I just write so strongly for the reader to be able to feel my old feelings… And…

“Yes!!!” — I celebrate “Yay! Don’t cry, sweetie, but I’m happy to be causing such strong reactions. You’re the fourth to tell me they’ve cried to the story – so I must be doing something right…?”

 

There you go.

The hard part is not writing, creating, and editing.

The hard part is feeling it.

Either revisting my emotions concerning things I no longer feel… (Out of respect to you, my reader, who is giving me your valuable time and attention).

Or harder yet…

It can be even harder to allow myself to feel the things I still feel very strongly.

I cried like a baby when I wrote chapter 21. Saudade.

Or when I told my sister about chapter 31. Wept. Big Sigh.

The hopes and dreams, the fears and frustrations, the wonderful memories. So vivid! Sorry. Can’t reveal much more at this moment.

No spoilers.

Besides… a little mystery is always good.

Layer by layer, right? 😊 Suspense.

I love surprises. I love twists of fate. Drama movies, crises to use as stepping stones, victories.

Surprise calls, surprise visits! Please?

Hmm. Good surprises, of course… “Bad surprises we call problems,” as Tony Robbins says.

 

My blog is my draft zero, and I promise you, soooo many things are going to happen before the end of the book… if you’ll like them or not is your problem. They happened and I can’t change the facts now.

Or can I?

This story will only be about 2016 – I know exactly where and when and how book 1 ends. It’s quite dramatic (that much I can reveal). In fact, I’ve already written many of the final chapters.

With all my heart.

 

Eurgh. I can only hope for book 2 someday – and a happy ending to Anna’s tale. Or maybe I’ll be too busy with daily love to be here writing about it. I’ll be enjoying it, instead.

(But am I enjoying monthly love in 2017? Weekly? Bi-yearly?)

More chapters coming to you this weekend, amigos. Finnish intention, Brazilian promise!

In fact, I’m going to start writing the next one right now. Write now, Anna.

“No! I’ll do it after my 11 p.m. Friday nap.”

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. One of those weekends alone in 2017. Day zillion since moving out. When I wake up from my nap, I will write.

 

 

Chapter 70 – Tinder Date #16, Part Three

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-WTF!?

 

Exhilarated Anna smiles. She’s got a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight. I’m single again…

No.

Let me rephrase that: I’m single and hot and full of energy and life. Cute! Fun. Playful. Kind.

Single and ready to mingle – she giggles – with a big heart…

 

…And my date is here. Yay, yay, yay!!

 

20:49   OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

 

Gonna meet charming prince Christian any minute now. Yahoo! (Hmm. Hope he’s not too much of a frog).

Game on?

The Love Game. One can’t win if one doesn’t dare play. Try, Anna, try! Risk it.

Game on!!

 

Anna is standing outside Christian’s hotel, and her body is singing… 🎼 I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it – I’m about to lose control and I think I like it… 🎶

Yay!!

She literally can’t wait to see him anymore. Big smile, bubbly heart and many bouncy butterflies flying in her stomach. Hopefully in his, too. They’re flying everywhere. Out of control. Haha. YOLO, yeah! That’s what I’m talking about, babe.

They’ve agreed to meet around 20:30.

She looks at her watch and…

...21:15? Seriously?! Where is this man?? I thought Englishmen were punctual.

Interesting…?! Hmmm.

 

21:20   Hey there, I’m outside your hotel with my son’s dog. James Bond also wants to meet you. 😊 Are you almost ready?

 

It’s getting a little cold in the drizzling rain for little 007 – but no reply from Christian. What’s going on?

 

 

21:37   I’m so sorry. I got lost!!! I’m at Oluthuone Kaisla.

 

WTF?? I thought he was dying to meet me! What is he doing in a bar instead???

 

21:38   Weren’t you at the hotel?

I got lost.

I’m in front of the Radisson Blu Royal. Is this your hotel? I was going to pick you up from here, wasn’t that what we planned?

I’m so tired and ill. I’ll get a taxi.

 

Oh! He’s feeling ill? Oh.

We’re gonna lose each other if he starts moving around.

 

A taxi. Where to?

 

He doesn’t have my address. And I’m not at home.

 

Can you pick me up, please? So sorry! Everyone I asked pointed me towards the wrong hotel.

I can come to the bar – but if I come there, will you be there?

I’m not moving. I’m lost. I’ll be waiting for you here. Please! And, sorry again. ☹️

 

Anna walks a km down to Kaisla and waits by the door on Vilhonkatu. She can’t go in with the dog, so she tries calling him.

Line busy.

??

She starts feeling suspicious. Almost irritated. Not quite, but almost. Sigh. I’ll give him the benefit of a doubt. He can probably explain this.

 

22:03   Are you at the bar? I’m outside Kaisla now, with 007. Can’t see you from here.

 

He calls her and says he’s coming outside in a minute.

But still nothing.

This is too weird! Eurgh!?!?!?!!!

Is he even where he says he is???

 

About five minutes go by before Anna asks some people who are coming out of the establishment if there possibly is another entrance to the bar. “Yes, there is,” they answer with a friendly smile.

Ahhh. That explains it. Phew.

Well… maybe!

 

She walks James Bond round the block to Kaisaniemenkatu. She spots a tall man standing by the tram stop with a suitcase and his back towards her. Feeling feisty now.

Is he even who he says he is?? Be brave, now.

Jack Chi 007 – good doggie – will sniff him and scare him off if he’s a bad guy!!

She approaches him and says, “Hi, Christian?” with a careful smile.

He turns slowly.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. D-WTF – it really happened like this, folks!

I’m So Excited lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

 

Chapter 69 – Tinder Date #16, Part Two

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Evening

 

Anna’s spring break has started well.  🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶  Remember?

This is her first holiday week ever as a single adult woman, with no care in the world for eight more days. I’m gonna enjoy this as much as I can!

Anna is feeling happy and Christian surely plays a part in that.

Still can’t believe that crazy selfie he sent me, though.

Anna had insisted for days he send her a picture with a smile, teeth showing. She wanted to make sure Christian had teeth, what else? A nice smile is such a turn on, after all!

So, tonight she’s finally going to meet that very, very short, chubby, sixty-five-year-old jolly grandpa with a pink complexion, a forced smile and eyes wide open. Like one of Snow White’s little darlings. Bald, with a few long hairs sticking up his head against the backlight.

Not at all like in his other pics. Haha.

Clueless selfie. He’s such a guy!

Endearing. Some clueless guys are simply endearing.

 

Ding!

15:00   On my way. 😊 But I forgot to bring my scarf. Delayed flight. Will send you a message once I’m onboard. 😊

Yay! Looking forward to seeing you. Have a safe flight! 😊 About the cold, don’t worry, I’ll bring you one of my mom’s gift-project scarves.

Great. Thanks so much! 😊 What’s the best way to get the hotel?

 

She sends him detailed directions. Ha! It’s pretty straightforward. Isn’t he supposed to be a world traveller?! And Helsinki is so tiny!

 

15:50   Can always get lost. 😊 Can you leave a trail of breadcrumbs?

15:58   Funny guy! I’ll leave you a trail of smiles. If you get lost, text me and I’ll come and save you.

16:20   Will do. Just put me in your bicycle basket. 😊 Boarding soon. Take a power nap!

Of course I will!  😊

 

D-evening has now come and Anna’s ready to mingle. Yay!

She wanted to wear a skirt, but since it is 0°C outside, she’s chosen black slacks and a blue jeans shirt. Hold-ups underneath. High-heeled leather Army-style Vagabond boots on her feet, and to warm her up, a new navy Didriksson’s parka, her favorite scarf and matching gloves (she doesn’t like wearing hats – no).

Loose hair and a happy smile.

She is looking good and feeling awesome!

 

19:20   The eagle has landed. And can’t find his luggage!

 

Anna is just waiting around. Getting restless. I can’t wait any longer!! Can you?

20:10   Found my suitcase! And… I’m in Helsinki!!!! Heading for hotel. Will call you when I am there. 😊 Really, really nice to be back. And can’t wait to see you.

Tervetuloa! Xx 😊😊

 

Ohhh! I’m too excited to wait around the house.

She walks to Mr. Ex’s place, wishes the teens a good holiday – with big hugs – and borrows the dog for the walk up to the hotel.

 

There has been lots of subtle teasing from both lately. And from his side “cough, cough and splutter,” too.

A funny man…

…With a cold!

Where does he find the motivation to get up from bed and catch a flight? Haha – I did ask him if he wanted to postpone his trip, but no.

So, playing nurse on a date, am I?

 

20:15   I’m wearing my snow boots. Don’t want to break more bones!

Better safe than sorry. I’m wearing casual. Let’s match?

Yes! Don’t wear heels. 😊 Slippery out there.

 

Anna and James Bond take brisk steps through the Kolmiopuisto park, towards Kamppi. Cute doggie! It’s drizzling and dark, but who cares??

Soon, soon, soon!

Yes!

Christian has put in so much effort so far – like guys who know what they are doing in the dating game. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying his attention. She smiles, with a positive gut feeling about their encounter tonight.

I’m a single woman now – and my date is here.

Yay, yay, yay!!

 

20:49   OK. Almost ready. Will give you a call soon. 😊

 

Game on!!

She’s standing outside his hotel and can’t wait to see him…

Literally she looks at her watch 21:15? Seriously? Where is this guy??

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. D-Evening

(The snow is falling gracefully here in Tampere as I write this chapter, looking out the windows at the beautiful scenery of my parents’ backyard).

 

 

Chapter 68 – Tinder Date #16, Part One

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Afternoon

 

Anna is feeling as peppy as a little girl on Christmas morning since she woke up and jumped out of bed.

She cannot believe they are finally going to meet face to face after three weeks of enthusiastic chatting on Whatsapp – such heart-warming interaction. Sweet and witty! Back and forth between Finland and Germany.

Ahhh…

What if Christian really is a special person??

Please be!!

Please… Don’t disappoint me.

Well, his texts and phone calls have been quite impressive – I’ll give him that much… Expectations are high. Just saying.

Anna, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You’ll know soon enough. 

 

If there’s one thing our Anna has learned from her previous fifteen dates, it’s that you never know what the chemistry (or lack thereof) will be like, until you spend some time together in person.

Yes.

She’s found that interesting messages usually make for an interesting person, and phone calls already give you half an accurate first impression.

Definitely.

But, you’ve gotta meet live, really… Spend time together!

Sometimes it only takes ten seconds to know.

But can the attraction grow on you as he shows you the different sides of himself little by little?

Or the opposite? Haha – surely.

It takes time to know people.

 

Then, there’s something else about guys. They have traditionally been considered the stronger, braver gender, but sometimes I think they seem to have interest in a lady, but they just quit way too fast.

Reasonable men won’t pursue a lady if they don’t think they stand a chance. It’s as if their energy is limited, so they need a clear/mysterious sign to see that it’s worth putting in the effort.

This little Love Game is harder than it seems! Gosh.

And more fun.

And more frustrating.

And the winning prize the best there can be (but remember to put in the work to keep the prize alive through the years).

Ahhh… Anna sighs.

Ahhh…

 

It’s like the birds and their back and forth dance of love. We’re just the same!

You chat, he rings you up, you laugh together. You go a little silent – but just a little! You show interest, and then go about your normal daily business.

You live life to the full. Go on many dates, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Never! Not before he will…

He writes again, he pursues you. He finds you interesting and doesn’t go AWOL. You’re active and happy in life.

And thinking of him.

You send him a new message – show him he easily comes back to your mind. Awww. He writes to you for hours on end. Makes you laugh like at the circus. The chat flows. It feels good for both of you.

You send a couple of selfies. Tell him about your day. Wow – he’s interested! He comments. It seems like he cares and finds you adoring for some reason. Expectations are on the rise. You say Good Night 💋, he says Sweet Dreams Xx – and you sleep with a huge smile on your face. Feeling warm and nice.

It’s hot – I’ll open the window.

Sometimes both of you go silent for longer hours and you can’t really know – but you’re hoping you’re on his mind, too. Both are investing time and attention – but playing it just a teeny bit cool, as well. Just to make it more exciting.

This seduction dance goes on for days, weeks or months in some cases.

In theirs, time flies, and the three weeks since they matched on Tinder and started chatting are complete. The awaited D-Day is today. D-evening, actually.

They are going to meet up in person in six hours. Sex, på svenska.

 

Anna finds attraction, romance, passion and love amazing. Maybe it’s happened to her three-four times since she was eleven years old?

That’s why she has to be so picky. You can’t share all that with just anyone. It’s gotta be special. He’s gotta feel like the One. He’s gotta put in the effort and not be a quitter.

 

OK, I’m 40 now.

You fall in love with someone (or the same One) once per decade. That’s not much at all!! Maybe it happens more often as you grow older and approach your end?? Live before it’s too late?? OMG. Fingers crossed.

 

The clock is ticking, and as you can see, all kinds of thoughts are rushing through Anna’s excitable mind as she’s relaxing at home, listening to music on her record player, thinking of what outfit to wear. Singing, humming, swinging to the tune.

She’s on holiday – yay! Hiihtoloma. Her flat is looking awesome – everything is so new – now clean, as well.

 

Ahhh… I should go and set the table. If Christian and I don’t find a restaurant open, we can always come here and have the veggie soup…?

The one I ordered from Mr. Ex – she giggles.

Pedro makes the best veggie soup ever – he’s such a great cook! First, he carries two heavy grocery bags full of fresh vegetables and legumes from the grocery store. Twenty different sorts, for sure. Then, he sits there in the kitchen – a whole day peeling, slicing and chopping the greens. His late mother’s recipe from Rio Grande do Sul.  Extremely healthy. Delicious!

In the last year of their marriage, he would make it whenever she asked him to, while sipping chimarão. She’d freeze different portions of the soup and have them throughout the week.

Last time she went to his home to pick up the dog, she bought a huge pot of the magical soup he’d just made. He laughed at it, but OK, agreed. And gave her the recipe for any future need.

Anna defroze it over the night and tasted it this morning. It seemed a little bland, for some reason, but no problem! She’s chopped garlic, onions, celery and lots of ginger herself, being careful not to touch the garlic so her fingertips won’t stink and be a turn off.

She’s fried it all up and added it to the boiling soup. Must be perfect now.

Ha! I can make soup, too!

 

Uh…Where was I?

Ahhh… daydreaming about tonight’s date. And the Love Game. Mmm.

You talk, you smile, you’re both polite. You look at each other.

Then, look down, fast. In a feminine way.

You have some soup, you smile again, say something interesting. Laugh at his jokes.

The expectation slowly rises. There’s flirting. A little blushing.

He’s cute. He’s sm💗rt. His smile is nice. You touch his arms lightly. There is energy in the air – loads – and he can feel that you like him. His peacock feathers open up. Wide open. You melt.

It takes two to tango.

To tango, to salsa, to samba. To zumba? Definitely to cha-cha-cha.

Well, let’s see what happens.

(Tonight, I promise!!)

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. D-Day and only six hours to wait!

 

 

Chapter 67 – What is Love?

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Sunday, 21 February 2016.

 

D-Day

 

Sunday morning of D-Day.

Yes!!

Anna is on her way to the K-Market grocery store in Jätkäsaari to buy some ginger and celery to spice up the veggie soup that’s ready and waiting in the fridge back home.

What else should I get?

Some grapes — she giggles.

 

She’s in a great mood. She’s slept very, very well.

🎼 I got out of bed on the right side, on the right side, on the right side. I got out of bed on the right side and I’m having a wonderful day. 🎶

 

As she walks to the store, she’s listening to the YouTube video of an old song from the classic movie Dangerous When Wet that her father Marcos used to watch with her and her siblings when they were little. Starring Esther Williams…

…and Tom and Jerry – yeah, them! You’ve seen them. The grey cat who does all the chasing and the brown mouse who does all the teasing.

Ah… good memories!

After the song has ended, a random TV show starts on auto-play. It is in this unexpected video that Anna hears a fantastic quote for the very first time:

 

“Love is a game that one can play and two can win.”  Eva Gabor.

 

Wow…!

 

Wow. Yeah… Uh-hmm.

Absolutely perfect!

 

A game that one can play and two can win?

Genius!

She’s excited. Very excited over D-Day.

 

I wanna play! I wanna play this love game!

 

But what if I lose??

Is it worth the risk of new heartbreak?

Is it…?

 

Yes!

B-r-i-n-g    i-t    o-n.

But… What if Chris is not the one?

 

Humpf – there’ll be others!

So, bring it ON!

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. D-Day.

 

 

Chapter 61 – Tinder Date #14

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

 

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

 

Day 60

 

They are sitting at a nice table – her usual one – at the Nepalese restaurant in Jätkäsaari, Anna’s neighborhood. Aarne has a huge meal, and she?

She has the soup and an open mind.

It’s the third time she’s at this very restaurant on Tinder dates. With three different men in three weeks. The waiter is starting to look at her in a funny way.

Ops, he’ll think I’m an escort! Maybe time to change venues?

 

Aarne is tall and a little chubby, friendly and warm. His teeth look like a bunny’s, but he’s cute and nice enough.

54.

She doesn’t feel the chemistry, however, so no flirting from her side!

To discourage him, she just talks about her Ex, church and such things. Haha.

Not cool? Sorry! 😁

She can’t help herself. What is she supposed to do if she’s just waiting for tomorrow to chat with Christian again?

3 days to meet him in person.

Happy Sigh.

 

Maybe I shouldn’t be going out on these dates anymore before I meet Christian and figure out whether I’ll like him or not.

But there’s another one scheduled for tomorrow. Bad manners to cancel last minute…

Like Tino did to me! Humpf.

 

Meeting new people is exciting.

Yes.

 

Besides… This is Anna’s You’re-Free-Now-So-Find-Out-Who’s-Available-Out-There Project, remember?

Play the field!

And her PossiblyMake-Some-New-Friends Project.

The Have-Some-Fun-Live-A-Little and Don’t-Hide-In-Your-House-While-You-Heal and Dare-To-Believe-In-Love-Again Projects are also worth a mention. Don’t you think?

Ultimately, what this really, really is, is…

The Find-A-B♥️yfriend-To-Share-The-Good-Simple-Things-In-Life-With Project.

 

Pause.

 

But Anna, don’t you forget The Don’t-Put-All-Your-Eggs-In-One-Basket-Yet Project. You haven’t met Mr. Boyfriend yet.

 

The smirky waiter walks by their table and Aarne asks, “Can I have a coffee please? Long drive home soon.” and turning his gaze to Anna “What about you? Would you like a coffee or tea?”

 

“Just another glass of water, please!” 😁🚰😁

 

Later that night, Aarne texts her.

Dear Anna, I’m now safely back home in Turku, thanks for your concern.

You are very nice, too. 🙂 Thank you for your pleasant company tonight. But, I have to be say that we are from different generations and I have never dated anyone as young as you.

Honestly? I must admit I don’t know exactly why – can’t put my finger on it just yet – but I didn’t really feel the chemistry.

Friends?

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. End of Day 60 of… The Above-All-What-You’re-Doing-Is-Rediscovering-Yourself Project.

Chapter 59 – 3D

 

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

 

Day 60

 

Anna is on her way to work – alone – because the teachers who usually carpool with her have a shorter workday today. That gives her a whole hour to reflect, while she drives in the dark, heavy early morning rainstorm.

Hopes and dreams. Needs.

Frustrations and the hurt she’s determined to leave in the past.

Good things to look forward to!

Ah… how I’d love a boyfriend.

I feel young(ish) and pretty. So much affection to give! So much that could be shared. So very much I’d love to receive. And life is for sharing! We are social beings.

And I’m so passionate!!

I’ve been through too much to care for stuff. Materialism, shopping? Despicable. Meaningless bickerings? Wasting life?

And aren’t the best things for free, anyway?

Affection, embraces, kisses, caring, playfulness, chatting, loving, helping others. Smiling. Shedding emotional tears and other goodies.

With an equal.

Attraction, vulnerability, growth.

Interesting dates – fun!

Hilarious, sometimes – to say the least.

 

She finds that it’s been good to meet up as quickly as possible after matching on Tinder, and she’s been enjoying some pleasant interaction.

You see, when you’re just online, you start building up a mental picture of the other person in your head. Maybe you imagine a certain height, weight, voice, appearance and body language.

An imagined person based on words and a few 2D images.

It’s like when you’re reading a novel and deciding for yourself what the characters look like. And, more importantly, how their personality shines through.

Then comes the date and… even if you keep an open mind and heart, the longer you’ve imagined the person in a certain way… the more difficult it can be to make the shift from 2D to 3D.

Oh!

Tonight is date #14. With Aarne – the one scheduled three weeks ago, since he lives in Turku. Coming to visit his daughter and excited to meet me – he says.

Hmm. He’s 54.

Finnish.

Uh… I just wonder…

…if I’ll like Christian in person — Anna laughs.

She parks her car and reads the Englishman’s last messages again.

 

4:30   Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😞  Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

 

🎼  I’ve got sunshine in a cloudy day… 🎶

 

9:21   Still feeling like that, yes. But at 4 I was fast asleep.

Glad that you wrote any way. 😊  How are you feeling today? Any coughing? Sore throat?

11:31   Morning. Feel much worse today. Cold is finally coming out. Throat feels better though. Nose will be raw by end of today.

Hope you’re having a nice day there.

 

Ah, is he really going to make it with his cold??

 

14:24   Oh, no!! Get well soon. I hope you can stay in bed all day today again. Maybe the salt helped with the throat?

Raw nose? Try lip balm around there a few times per day. Solves the problem. 

Awful weather here. Raining hard. Would be perfect to be under covers with good company and watch a nice movie, drinking hot cocoa…

14:47   Eurgh. Struggling today. Glad I don’t have to be anywhere else. Raining? No!! Bring back the snow. ☃️  I like your ideas for spending a rainy day. 😊

15:00  😊 Maybe Monday?

15:01   OK. Hoping for rain in that case. 😊

  Me, too!

🎼  When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way? 🎶

 

Got hotel booked today. Staying at Radisson Blue Royal hotel until Tuesday.

15:24   Nice place! And walking distance to my flat. About 1 km downhill and you’re at my door. Maybe I could choose a restaurant between the hotel and my place, instead of Vapiano. Maybe Koti Pizza? Since you’re ill… So you won’t need to walk that much. What do you think?

15:41   That sounds like a great plan. 😊 And downhill too! Can I ski there??

Haha. You can try to ski there. I’ll watch. It’ll be funny!

During the week, we could have some wonderful veggie soup at my place. Would be good for your cold, too!

Meeting up at 8 or 8:30?

If you could meet me at hotel around 2015 that would be great. I’m still not that familiar with Helsinki….but improving. This is my 4th trip. 5th in March. 😊

Nice!

Let’s do that. Should be there by then.

If the flight is late – snow storm or something – I’m sure we’ll manage to find some other place open.

Healthy pizza sounds great. And your soup. 😊 Want to try that. I won’t let you starve and hope to take you out a few times.

16:22   So we have ourselves a plan. 😊 Oh, I eat very little nowadays. Can survive with 4-6 eggs and I’m happy.

16:24   You should keep chickens!!

Soup, salads, eggs. Volleyball. Not much more that I need. Except a little loving.

That’s good exercise too. 😊 Miss that.

Blink slowly at me with those dreamy eyelashes of yours… And that voice. Maybe I won’t be able to resist. Not sure. Who knows??

Hmmm. I’m just coming out of a long long relationship. So no hurry.

Christian… Should I maybe tell you something?

I’m not really the wild kind. My values are important to me. Having said that… I’d love to get to know someone slowly. Find a boyfriend. Someone to enjoy life with, respect, spend time with whenever possible. Have my person out there!

I read something that makes sense. Something I’ve experienced in life, and it was totally worth it. Even though it ended… ☹️

 

“I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience… You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.”  And… “Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.”

16:58   I’m quoting Anais Nin. Ever heard of her? Beautiful!

   I’ve had it and hope to again. Someday!

How do you feel about this? Are you looking for something completely different?

You seem to be a nice person. Friend? Boyfriend? Who knows? We have to meet first, spend some time together. Will there be any chemistry? Maybe.

But I like sincerity and I think you do, too. When there’s honesty, people can make informed decisions and be on the same page.

Would love to hear your thoughts. A little now and more later.

17:14   Thought-provoking quotes there. I haven’t seen them before. To start with, friendship is so important for me – hopefully much more, but it takes a lot of time to get to know people.

Somehow, I can sense that you are such a good person!

I had some bad people in my life. It was only recently I decided to cut my ties. There are too many nice people in the world go bother with the bad ones.

I love what you write. So… looking forward to Sunday. Hope you won’t be disappointed. Either way, we’ll have a fun evening. And some good food and laughs.

🎼  Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶.
.
.
And… You have to teach me ‘Hazel Eyes,’ Love Letter and Ingenious – all the games you told me about. You promised! 😊
.

17:23  You sound wise. Looking forward to Sunday!!

Fingers crossed for rain. 😊 Back in bed.

18:08   Good! You need that!

Can’t wait to feel well again. Btw, is my hotel close to station? I’m catching bus from airport.

The hotel is about 600m uphill from the station.

Ok. Hope I can make it uphill!! 😊 They need a chairlift.

You’re so funny! I wish I could pick you up, but it’s sauna time and the teens are coming over for that and then leaving.

Won’t have much luggage so should be easy. Oh. I would never expect that!!

Don’t want to miss the sauna.

Sauna is the right place for you.

 

🎼  I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me
I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees 🎶

But I would have loved picking you up. You would have been able to hear me singing in the car from moment zero.

Not necessary at all. But thanks.

18:13   No singing necessary for you then. LOL! 😊  Loved your suggestion of getting myself some chickens!

  unnamed (4) – kopio

18:15   Meant the lift. Please sing away!! 😊

Look at my dinner.

Mmmm. Making me hungry.

I knew that you meant the lift. Was just teasing you a little.

You teasy-joker! 😊

 

Anna sends him another picture of her taking a nap. Under lots of covers.

 

Are you having another power nap?

No. Actually just eating those eggs.

OK. Thought you were multitasking. 😊

Teasing is kind of fun, too. I’m in an energetic mood all the time nowadays! Beware. I might grab you.

I was wondering where you were balancing the eggs. 😊 Grabbing? I like a bit of energy.

(Love how witty you are)! Just a bit? I heard you…

Haha. OK. A lot!!

 

🎼  Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶

 

So lucky to be on holidays from tomorrow afternoon. 😊 Hiihtoloma – our spring break – meant for skiing in Finland.

18:22   Enjoy! Holidays at last.

I’ve brought home some games for 2 from school. Some of my own, so that we’ll have enough to do in case of bad weather.

Great. 😊

Competitiveness and intelligence are big turn-ons!

18:30   So I have to win. What are the games?

Ha. You want to practice, huh? Ingenious. That’s one of the games. 😊 Ticket to Ride. 6 Nimmt.

I want to do my homework for the teacher.

The rules are in Finnish, so, too bad!

Haha. I see. I will just have to trust your teaching, then.

Are you going to sleep soon? Get your energy back for me.

Yep. Sleeping. But I’m thinking about your hazel eyes.

Sweet dreams… I’m going out soon.

Enjoy. I will be thinking about sauna games, as well.

You do that and try to come up with some cool rules. Talk to you later then, handsome eyes.

Sleep well later.

P.S. Three days!! X

Three days for you and me in 3D. 😊 Finally!

 

🎼  I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
I’ve got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do) 🎶

 

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. Day 60 – hey, hey, hey! 🎶

(My Girl © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC)

 

 

Chapter 58 – Eurgh!!

 

Wednesday, 17 February 2016.

 

Day 59

 

Anna is leaving school earlier to go to a doctor’s appointment. She’s thinking and feeling, feeling and going crazy.

 

I’m 39.

With a shitload of experience, both great and horrible. Half my life ahead of me…

Living in my own flat for two months now…… Met 13 Tinder Guys.

Sigh.

I want intimacy – with chemistry!!!

I’m yearning for hugs, kisses, passion, watching a movie inside an embrace. Getting to know someone precious, unveil who he is… Ah, it’ll be so special!!! A boyfriend – yes!

My life is definitely to be lived. Eurgh!!! Going a little crazy here.

All this energy.

 

I’ll write Christian a message. 4 days to meet him in person……

 

11:06   Good morning. How are you feeling today? Driving now. Call? Or does it hurt to speak?

11:18   Morning. In bed. Feel worse today. Just trying to call you. You are definitely driving. 😔 

12:19   So, did you gurgle salt and water? And can I have a picture of you with a cold? Under the covers? Please? 🙂

13:03   Haha. I’ll try.
Yep. Gargled. Delicious. 🤢

 

He sends his picture.

.
13.09   Sick 🤧. 

13.11   And veeeery cute!!

OMG, he’s snuggly!!!

You have beautiful eyes! 😍

 

Hmm. This is the first time I’m seeing his eyes. He had sunglasses on in his other pictures.

 

13:16   Ahh. Thanks. Don’t feel v beautiful today! ☺️ 

13:30   I’m checking some homework here. Stories the pupils have written. Lots of spelling mistakes in this one. 🤔

13:32   Mind you, their English is better than my Finnish!

13.34   We’ll have to deal with your Finnish soon. Haha! But teaching you Swedish would be so much easier… Maybe I can come up with a prize system for your Finnish studies. A kiss or something for every ten new words you learn. 😚

Or some punishment when you don’t. Hahaha. Which pushes you better?

Hahaha. I think both would work!! Should I be scared?  😱 😨 Carrot and stick. 😊

Let’s wait and see! 

14.21   You look so cuddly in bed. Love looking at your pic! Here’s mine:

IMG_2420 – kopio (2)

.
Wow. MUCH better than mine! 😊😊 Are you having a power nap?

I wish – with you – would be nice!

Nice. 😊😊

14.38   Can I ask you something?

14.39   Of course.

You don’t think I’m this crazy chic, do you?

Not at all!!!

  I mean, inside my heart I’m very deep and wise.

14.41   I know.

And I really like you. Your voice and lovely personality.

Same here. I know you are a nice person. 😊
Was that your question? 😊

And to elaborate my answer, if you were crazy….then I like a little crazy. 😊

15.12   Sorry. Was in the waiting room and the nurse called me in. Then I drove back to school.

Just checking, because one day I tell you I may have to take it slow and the next day I act differently. Cool that you like a little crazy. Me too! 😊

15:17   Hope all went OK at Doctor’s.

 

21:09   I have just finished playing volleyball and it was totally worth it. Super fun! I think I’m going for a short run soon, too. 😊  Hope you’re resting and feeling better soon! I feel energized.

 

18/02/2016,  4:28   Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😕  Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

9:21   Still feeling like that, yes. Haha! But at 4 I was fast asleep. 😉

 

© 2017 rf

 

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

 

 

Obs. End of Day 59. Energized.

 

 

Chapter 57 – Who I Am?

 

Wednesday, 17 February 2016.

 

Dichotomy.

 

Not the sun – just thy moon?

I’m a lover – I’m beloved.

I am fun, I am old.

Woman, sister, mom and daughter,

I am scared, I am bold.

 

 

I’m not bitter, I am sweet!

I’m a lady,

Bittersweet.

I’m determined, I am flawed,

I am awed by thee.

 

I’m his Ex, I am deep,

I am active, I’m asleep.

I am happy, ugly, heavy.

I just want to leave.

 

I am light, I am dark,

I am gracious, I am marred.

I’m a birdie, I am barred.

I am patient, restless, pretty –

Just thy wild card.

 

North and south,

Kind and blind.

Just a girl,

I’m a friend.

I’m just tired –

I will end.

 

I am loyal, I betray:

I’m a sinner, I’m a saint –

I’m forgiving, I’m forgiven,

Though now drained.

 

Hot and cold (not really)

I’m a teacher, so silly!

I’m a playful mystery…

I am strong, I give up,

Direly need thy hugs.

 

I am human – there you go.

You won’t judge me,

So I’m told.

 

I am crazy, I am biased.

Fired up,

Wise, wired and hooked.

I am Tinderella Anna.

I’m thy secret, open book.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 59 of who am I’s?