Chapter 18 – Downsides and Upsides

 

Monday, 1 February 2016.

 

Day 43

 

Anna’s just arrived home after having coffee with her old-time friend after work. They’ve known each other since Anna’s wedding day, back in 1995, when Mary was brought to the festivities as a +1.

It’s always lovely to catch up and chat with a lady friend, isn’t it? A good dose of oxytocine and your stress levels come tumbling down.

Anna’s told Mary about joining Tinder and they giggled about her first dates.

Despite the fact that Mary felt quite shocked with that piece of news! For one, she’d never even heard of dating apps and, being the very wise, well-behaved type, Mary doesn’t really fathom Anna’s decision.

“What’s the hurry, dear creature? Take some time, enjoy life! You’ve only been single for a month and a half,” she exclaims wide-eyed.

Nonetheless, Mary’s a good listener and always shows great respect for her friend, so she just reminds her to be careful, which Anna promises to do.

 

Hey, I don’t know about you, but the first twenty years of Anna’s life were spent in a very close-knit and cheerful, oftentimes noisy circle of relatives, friends, classmates, and above all, her musical parents and siblings.

In the next twenty years, she found herself constantly surrounded by all of the aforementioned, with the addition of her two beloved kids.

And handsome Mr. Ex.

That is, when it felt like he was present at all.

 

Volleyball is Anna’s favorite sport and now I can say I finally understand the reason. Involving constant team work and cooperation, it is such a social game. No wonder why she plays it up to ten hours a week, loving every moment of it.

You see, when you’re divorced and your kids are practically adults, there are some nice upsides to your life. You can focus on your hobbies, spend hours and hours with friends; even decide to sleep over after a visit, chatting and laughing all night long around their dinner table.

If you want to, you can live sparingly and save all your money to the last dime. Or just go on a shopping spree and, who cares, save next month. Good-bye having to discuss and agree on those things with your spouse, that is, if you don’t want to deal with the disapproving frowns.

 

The first year of divorce is fun. Mm. Go on Tinder, courageously look for love again.

Oh, and does Anna enjoy a tidy flat or what.

Having to do the laundry only once or twice a month and – oh, oh – eating easy-to-prepare eggs and salads. Healthy. And cheap, too.

I’m no advocate for divorce – God forbid. But, you can up and travel during all your holidays. Make last minute plans and then change them, just like that. Hey, maybe not even come back home from a long trip before the very last vacation night…

 

…On the other hand, there is a downside.

One of many. 🙁 But the one I’m talking about is coming home to an empty house.

Don’t believe me? Maybe that’s because your life is always busy with family members and unending chores, so you’d gladly accept a quiet, home-alone day. Cozy and relaxing – I can understand that. I remember.

 

But, we are social beings and life is to be shared. So, when Anna comes home, night after night to her dark, empty flat, knowing nobody is there, and no one is going to come in through the door, not even later in the evening… Nobody’s going to wish her good night… I’ll tell you, at times her stress grows with the hours.

It can feel pretty lonesome and cold.

Flash forward to 2017 and Anna hates that – with her entire soul.

© 2017 rf

 

 

Obs. Day 43 since moving out. What now?

 

 

Author: TinderellaAnna

Anna is a character. Half-fictional, half-inspired in many, many true events. Half-European, half-Latin-American. She is happy, she is strong, she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. Despite the divorce - not of her choice - she is determined to be joyful, grateful, hopeful, sweet; believing that life is for sharing and that he is somewhere out there. But he will have to be as lovable as she is. After all, better alone than in bad company. Sigh: but better in good company than alone... Disclaimer: All names and places have been changed to protect the people who happen to be true.

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