now what – Page 3 – The Chronicles of a Happy Divorcée

Chapter 66 – 24 Hours

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Ending Day 62

21:03 Hello! Hope you’ve had a great day. I’m just packing, so will be there in just over 24 hours! 😊 Can’t wait to see you. Early night tonight…
.

God, this guy is something else. Well-mannered and endearing. Communicative! Seems normal/wonderful. Hopefully as nice as I expect.

.
Last night was pretty bad. Taxi arrives 11am tomorrow.
My forecast says snow in Helsinki. 🌨️

21:39 Hi Chris,
Yes, an interesting day! Just coming home. After leaving James Bond at home, I decided to drop by a friend’s farewell party. Some Brazilian football players hit on me. Haha! I know the type…

I left quite fast after that because a couple of women started fighting!
But the young woman who is moving back to Brazil is lovely. She’s the one who introduced me to Tinder, so I’m grateful. 😊

Had to go thank her, hug her good-bye and buy some of her wonderful feijoada, a national Brazilian dish. Have you ever tried it?

21:49 Home now to finish tidying up for a prince who’s coming over tomorrow. 😊 Can’t wait. I’ve heard he’s handsome, sweet, friendly and very witty. I’m hoping he’s hot, too. I think he’s a good person. That’s the main thing I can hope for.

Hmm. You’re probably sleeping to have energy for tomorrow, right? Just like Sleeping Beauty. Gosh! Wonder how many dragons and thorny bushes I’ll have to fight to get to you and possibly give you a wake up kiss!

See you in 22h! Tervetuloa vaan!

21:55 Hello! More cleaning and tidying? No more waxing though, right? 😊 Awake. Planning a full night’s sleep.

Fighting!!? What was that all about?? Glad you made your escape. 😊

22:05 😊 So, I’ll go and pick you up at your hotel at 8:15 tomorrow evening.

Perfect. I’ll let you know if there are any delays.

Delays, yay! You know how women can always use some extra time in front of the mirror: selfies, waxing and such.

Haha. Sounds intriguing! 😊 Just finishing packing.

Nice! Have a safe trip!

Thanks. I’m coming alone this time. Did I tell you that?

No.

Maybe business meetings just for one day. CEO/partner decided to postpone his trip to Finland to March. 😊

Got my Karoo desert haircut today. 😊 Just for you!

22:31 😊😊 Good style!

Yes! Bald men should always trim their hair short. At least the younger ones.

Btw, is your business meeting on Wednesday? I have an appointment at 1 pm and another from 4:30-6. Maybe could do something with the kids at lunch time. And then I’ll be free again at night.

23:41 Yes, it is. Glad you are spending time with kids. 😊

Ah… Tattoo mystery soon to be solved! Have you always liked tattoos? How many do you have?

Oh! Haha. I got my first tattoo to cover a surgical scar. I had two difficult c-sections, especially the second. They sewed me up badly, so I had to get a corrective plastic surgery some years later. I was very pleased with the result and the better quality of life after that! That’s when Sarah, my sister, told me some people cover scars with tattoos.

It’s tough being a woman!!

I never ever thought I’d get a tattoo in my life. I wasn’t the kind. but I figured I preferred seeing a tattoo to a scar…

23:48 Great idea with that. 😊 Is it a snake?

No snakes!!! I’m still planning to get a third and last tattoo to cover another scar.

Well… you have a tattoo parlour in your neighbourhood. Remember the pic you sent me? Unorthodox Tattoo?

I have a few scars. We can compare them. 😊

Let’s compete!

I think you may win. But we shall see!

Haha. I’ve got 5!

Got 3.

😊 Hey, getting sleepy here, but movies and games waiting… Some good food! And wax strips if you need them.

Feel free to do your computer work this coming week, whenever you have to. Just let me know.

I should be pretty free. It’ll be like a holiday. 😊

OK. But still, I promise not to cage you up. I won’t use my dungeon this week! 😊 Good night.

Hahaha. But I want to see that! Is it down by the sauna?

Sweet dreams!

Obs. Day 62 of just being silly. And hoping! Never lose hope!

Chapter 65 – This One Doesn’t Count – But JB Always Does!

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Day 62

Right after Date #15, Anna is busy again.

That’s OK, because she has planned her weekend in such a way that she’ll have all Sunday to relax, sleep and pamper herself – in order to be energetic and excited to meet Christian in the evening.

Finally!!

The holidays have started – spring break, yay – so there’ll be lots of chilling time. No stress. So what if I’m tired today?

She checks her phone for Christian’s messages.

There’s one from Giovanni, LOL. To be honest, other messages just don’t interest her enough at the moment.

This is what Christian writes:

13:43 Good morning!! Hope you slept in the end, after all that waxing and selfie taking. 😊 I didn’t until after 4 am, so feeling tired now.

Cold better though.

16:00 Good afternoon! Yes, I slept well, thanks. About 7h️.

Glad you’re feeling better. You should go back to bed now!

Have energy for tomorrow 😊.

In a hurry with the laundry here.

And getting ready to walk the dog… Gonna walk him to grandma’s to meet my mom and daughter there soon. 😊

I’ll text you later.

Snowing in Helsinki and looking nicer.

But I think it’s going to melt…🙁

Keep the snow just a little longer!! 😊

Anna goes back upstairs from the laundry, humming as she opens the door to her flat.

“Hi, JB!”

The jack russel/chihuahua mix, James Bond, aka JB, receives her as excitedly as she’s feeling herself. He’s too darn cute, this adorable little doggie!

“Vamos passear? É, vamos passear.”

JB goes wild with joy. He knows that they’re going out for a walk. He understands Portuguese.

“Beijinho, JB, beijinho!” — and he licks her face – head over heels in love with Anna. Or so she believes…

And that feels good.

Anna’s read somewhere that every single time a pooch sees its owner, the familiar scent activates the dogs’ caudate nucleus – the part of the brain that lights up in humans when we anticipate things we enjoy… Our dogs have a positive association with our scent, so they feel love as we do. Isn’t that just awesome?

Ah JB, JB!

Strong-willed, playful, smart and social.

Dignified, loyal and affectionate.

Hmm…

…I wonder if I’ll find a boyfriend like you out there? 😊

When Anna’s feeling good, JB is great company – though he can act quite nonchalant at other times, too. Huh.

Then, when she’s sad and crying, he cuddles up and won’t let go of her all night long. There’s such empathy in this tiniest of beings – our James Bond, beloved!

Anna is feeling as happy as JB to go out for a walk. Life is good!

They walk 4k to her granny’s neighborhood, Kallio, where Mummo Anna, Riitta, Kristiina and Anna have evening tea and a good time together.

Then, just as she is walking James Bond back home past the market square in Hakaniemi, she gets a message from Giovanni.

Giovanni is a Canadian-Italian Tinder match with whom she’s been chatting a little this week. He told her he’s just moved to Finland to stay for the next five years, because the company he owns has a multi-million dollar IT contract with one of the biggest grocery stores in the world.

Huh!

Giovanni has been inviting her to dinner in a very gentlemanly manner. He will be going on a business trip to Norway tomorrow, so they’ve agreed to possibly go out when he gets back.

Gentlemanly is always good…

But she wants to meet Christian first. Too confusing otherwise! And this Canadian uses too many LOLs and things like that for her taste!

A little infantile?

Anyway, as I was saying…

Anna is walking the dog past Hakaniemi when Giovanni tells her he’s just arrived back to the Hilton in…

…Hakaniemi!

Oh, really? I’m literally at the corner of your hotel right now! Small world.

Hey, why don’t I come down so we can meet for a quick hi? Give me five minutes!

Spontaneous date? No! This one doesn’t count. Not a proper date – just a hi.

She stands outside the lobby for ten-fifteen minutes. It’s cold and she starts freezing. She hears her name being called, “Hi Anna,” and turns to see Giovanni walking out the hotel door.

“Hi…”

They stand there talking, she’s shaking with cold and grabs JB in her lap to warm up. The dog is shaking, too, poor thing. And uhhh, what is Giovanni saying? It’s hard to pay attention. She’s been caught off guard. He could have warned me!

“Yeah, so dinner two weeks from now, Anna?”

“Uh, why not? Get in touch after your trip!”

Anna does not consider herself to be superficial, uh-uh. So, she has always found it hard to understand why men complain that the women on Tinder are too interested in knowing their height before meeting up.

What is the problem with these women? Why does the man have to be tall?? She used to wonder.

Now she understands. Ahhh…

Maybe it’s not that they have to be tall per se, it’s just that Nordic women are quite tall themselves… so they probably prefer the guy to tower just a little above them?

OK… I see.

Anna is just 161, but Giovanni is at least a head shorter than her. 135?

With heeled shoes.

And he’s trying so hard to look upbeat. He’s doing his best to cause a great impression. Maybe trying too hard?

A couple of weeks later she has already deleted her account on Tinder and feels sad when she thinks he must imagine she’s disappeared because of his height. Oh no! Poor thing!

Danny DeVito’s romantic movie – The OH in Ohio – occurs to her. I recommend it!

And to this day she sometimes wonders how good Giovanni would have been.

He’d probably have valued me, not taken me for granted, not let go, felt lucky, treated me like a Queen; girls just want to feel loved – she smiles at the thought – imagining constant fun rides in his limousine.

Obs. Day 62 with a Chinese Date, a Danny DeVito, lots of JB joys and nice expectations.

Dogs in Love?

The OH in Ohio – Danny DeVito

Chapter 64 – Chinder Date #15

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

日 62

Only one day to go, and Anna’s going to meet the intriguing Englishman Christian – can’t believe it! I just hope he’s as nice live as online… 🤞🤞

One more pre-booked date to attend, however. The last one before witty Chris.

So…

After twenty-two hours awake the previous day, our main character wakes up tired, but feeling very excited with life indeed. Almost as if it were spring!

Anna has a cup of coffee, takes a nice long shower, puts on a cute outfit with light make up, and goes to Faro by the Ruoholahti Canal for her coffee with her first Chinese date ever.

Chun Ah Ah is already there waiting for her when she arrives the usual five minutes late. He stands up, mighty elegant at 42, like Mulan’s warrior teacher in the Disney movie.

Wow! This guy is something else.

Chun Ah Ah has a presence about him. Tall, about 180? Strong jet-black hair that has recently been cut. Clean-shaven and very well-dressed: a smart shirt, smart pants, smart shoes, an impressive watch – ticking, ticking – and an overcoat. Handsome, he’s the spitting image of what Asian discipline must look like.

As strong as a reproductive bull. As impressive as a dragon!

Sigh…

They were only supposed to have a coffee, but after three hours of chatting non-stop, Chun Ah Ah looks at his watch.

“Anna, time has flown! It’s so easy to talk to you.” — he smiles charmingly.

“Oh, thank you. Likewise.” — she corresponds.

“I see that it is already 14:30, so I won’t be cooking anymore. Would you have lunch with me? Across the square? My treat!”

“Oh, that would be nice! Yes.” — she answers happily, suddenly craving for pizza.

They walk over to Dacca Pizzeria, and it looks as though Chun’s suddenly feeling more relaxed. He pulls a chair for her to sit down, and sits across from her by the window facing the canal. They order and he leans comfortably forward with his forearms against the table.

He folds his shirt up to the elbows and opens the upper button by his collar.

He smiles, flirting intensely now.

They discuss his previous relationship with a Finnish woman. No. They never got round to having kids and…

Anna tells him about her marriage and her wonderful teenagers. How great being a mom has always felt.

Their pizzas arrive. His has chili peppers, arugula and extra meat. Hers is a closed calzone with ham, shrimp, oregano and extra mozzarela. Yummy – so moist! And she likes this guy. Mmm.

Suddenly, he drops his fork, looking really serious. His eyes almost look big. He holds up two fingers in the air and looks like someone who means business.

Intense, mysterious.

“Anna. My mother is already 82 years old and of weak health. She doesn’t have any grandchildren and she’s concerned about me being alone.”

“Oh?”

“Some women are young and still end up having no kids. Other women are forty-five and can still have babies…

“…How do I know if the woman I choose to marry will be able to give me any little ones? I’m a succesful engineer and I want to build a family.”

“Well…” — Anna automatically looks down at her right arm that extends as if holding a newborn.

His voice becomes more urgent.

“Anna, in the next three years I need to (1) get married, and (2) have at least two babies,” he says holding up those two fingers again. ✌️

“Chun, ah…” — her left arm raises in the previous manner. Her gaze switches to her left arm, as if in slow-motion.

“I need to take a wife and ✌️babies back to my mother in China before she dies.

“And I can’t wait much longer. It’s quite hard to get good matches and nice dates, you know…”

“Ah…” — she looks down at her bosom and imagines having two Chinese babies of her own sucking voraciously at her nipples in 2018.

“So, what do you say?” — and the vision of a short, very cute, chubby Chinese old lady smiling with satisfaction at her from across the table seems to materialize. Everything is happening so fast!

Later, Anna hears that the name Chun means ‘born in the spring’ and Ah means ‘little one’.

That explains it!

Chun Ah Ah!

Haha.

Waa, waa. May his destiny turn out to include the two waa, waas!

Obs. Day 62 with imagined Chinese babies in my loving arms and a very happy mother-in-law in tow.

Chapter 63 – In the Middle of the Night

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Saturday, 20 February 2016.

Day 62

Back home from her daughter’s Senior Dance and it was so amazing!

My little princess is all grown now. Capable, strong. With the innocent, perfect beauty of youth – soul and skin.

Ah – to be young again and know how to appreciate it!

To be honest, Anna is feeling quite young herself. She is careful, works out, eats right. The lower-carb lifestyle makes her feel extra energetic.

In fact, she’s feeling so pigg (alert in Swedish) that she starts cleaning the house around midnight.

It’s good to do things a day earlier than planned – how very Finnish of her.

That way one can enjoy more free time the next day. Multi-tasking is fun, too, so she answers Christian’s messages.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!

Here’s one! Here you go 😊:

Video of Kristiina’s Senior Dance S2 :))

2:13 Wow! Looking great.

Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it. 😊😊

Ah, before I forget, remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

2:20 Oh, you have great memory. Amazing.

Phew. I thought I was going mad!

Yes, English muffins.

Yum. You have excellent taste.

You like cakes? Maybe I could bake something quick and easy.

Sure. But I don’t have a sweet tooth. What is your speciality?

Korvapuusti. Literal translation: a slap on the ear.

Hahaha. Ouch!! I felt that.

They’re actually the best cinnamon buns in the world. A Finnish recipe. What tea do you usually drink? English people drink a lot of tea! How can one be that thirsty?

2.21 Haha. Yes. Decaf. Also like camomile, peppermint – Chinese tea too. White, no sugar.

Did you find the teas you like in Finland?
My mom always complains that the ones over here are not as good as there.

.…

Well…. I did notice. Not much choice.

There’s an Intense Mint sort that is wonderful. Maybe you could bring a stash of your own tea to keep some in my flat. How intimate is that, huh? 😊

Oh….very!! 😊

Should be drinking champagne but don’t want to make you feel bad.

Why champagne, what’s the occasion? And I won’t feel bad…

A glass to celebrate meeting you.

Ah, that’s too sweet. Now you’ll have to bring it. And I’ll have a glass with you. Celebrate meeting you!

Champagne and English muffins. A good combination. 😊

2.31 Tomorrow – wow. About 40h from now. 😊 Hey, you’ll never ever guess what I’m doing. But I’ll give you three tries.

Ok.

Guess 1. Here goes.

Exercising?

Nope.

Guess 2. Cleaning.

No. Already done with that. 😊

Guess 3. Writing to me? OK, that’s not my real guess. 😊

Guess 3. Drawing a picture?

No, no, no – too many guesses already! 😊

Wrong again? 😔 I give up.

Taking selfie??

2.36 Not staying awake at this time for selfies!

A clue: It hurts a little and maybe you haven’t tried it yet.

Oooh.
Standing on your head?
Planking?

What is planking?

Type of exercise. To strengthen abs.

Waxing legs. Have you ever?

Hahaha. Ouch! Have I waxed?
Sure. Someone did my back (don’t have a hairy back like a bear’s though).

Really! Did you like it?

Loved it.

Texting and waxing, huh?

Women!

Haha. But you won’t believe what happened to my friend after a Brazilian wax. Won’t tell you now, though.

What happened?

It’s horrible. A mood killer!

Does it involve bits coming off??

Yes.

Ouch!!!!!!!

A bacterial infection, and he will need multiple plastic surgeries. Happened last month in Brazil. He posted on Facebook! Google it if you dare: Gangrene de Fournier.

I’m scared. Gangrene!! Googling now.

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst. Losing all the skin everywhere. He almost died!

I’ve never heard of that before. Poor guy! I won’t be trying that anytime soon.

His luck was that he’s a military major and had prompt access to the best care at the military hospital. 😕 Life is so strong and frail at the same time.

I can’t get the images out of my head!!! Help!!!

Sorry! Just a warning for people to be careful when waxing…

Be careful!! Still see it. Burnt into my retinas!!

I promise to be extra careful.

Don’t want to have to visit you in hospital! To feed you grapes!

2:532:5Haha.

But I can still feed you grapes.

There are better things to do here than go to the hospital. Oh! I want grapes now!

Like play hazel eyes??

Yeah. How long can you keep eye contact with those long lashes on the way?

They are quite heavy. It’s crazy! Thought about cutting them.

Don’t you dare cut them!

😊

Text and wax is a new kind of multitasking for me.

Haha. Would love to see that!

Me being a clown here? My phone is all sticky!

Clown. 🤡

😊😊 Hey, did you lose our conversations from WhatsApp like me, or did you have time to back them up?

I backed them up. 😊

Wouldn’t want to lose those fun stories we were co-authoring.

They are safe!
Omg. The gangrene pics are still open on Google. Looked like something from a butcher’s window.

3.02 Poor friend. I hope he recovers fully! Hey, send me a cute selfie of yours? Want to see what you look like in the middle of the night.

Haha. It’ll be dark.

Click and ding!

Nice dreamy eyes. 😊

Wow! He does look cute. Not like that crazy smile selfie. Phew!

Your turn now. 😊

Waxing??

Whatever you fancy. You are queen of selfies. 😊

3:10 Just so you see I’m really texting and waxing.

Click and ding!

You sure are!! Very impressive. And sexy. 😊

3:16 Ok. Better let you get on with it.

Enjoy the rest of your waxing. If that’s possible!

And see you tomorrow. Xx

3.18 See you tomorrow! Xx

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 62. Cleaning, texting & waxing, selfieing – normal multi-tasking.

(Hey, You Guys!)

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Timeless, maybe.

Sidenotes To The Guys

My book has been called female-oriented. I don’t think I agree. I guess it depends on who you are and what you’re looking to find when you read me. Hopefully, you’re finding something worthwhile.

In my experience, many men are as sensitive – or even more – than the average woman. Romantic, meek, adorable – strong and wonderfully manly, at the same time.

Some men I know (and some new stranger-friends) are reading these chronicles and sending me comments – giving me all kinds of thought and emotion-provoking feedback. I really, really appreciate it, guys.

Thank you for your valuable input, your time and interest, your intelligence and depth. Thank you for letting our souls touch a little bit, as our journeys cross paths. The world should have more beings like you. I’m lucky to have if just a fraction – you’re heroes, and you make a difference! Like you can’t imagine.

But that was not what I intended for this chapter. This parenthesis.

So……….

Hey, you guys (as in Goonies)!

This book is not a How-to-Find-a-Lady-Online, nor a How-To-Understand-a-Tinderella kind of book. Nonetheless, if you’re attentive, you will capture some indirect tips in my writings. Dating, food for thought, some thoughts on being a decent human being…

Well, it all comes down to this.

Be human, yes, be flawed and powerfully vulnerable – by all means. Be yourself, but seek to become the best version of yourself – even if just one tiny step at a time. We won’t respect ourselves otherwise. I hear that progress equals happiness, and I agree.

(What’s our alternative? Growing older and sadder with time? A downhill trip to the grave? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s meant to be).

Try. Succeed. Stumble and fall. Err and then dust off, chin up and repeat. A small step, but a small step in the right direction. It piles up and amounts to much. Get help, if needed.

(I often need help. Hugs + talking are the best kind!)

Whether you’re single and happy to stay so, or longing for a partner and all the love in the world. Whether you’re happily married, or in the process of deciding to divorce.

I’m sure that whatever the case, you want to feel alive, very ALIVE!

Vulnerable, yet mighty. Responsible, but true. You want to be gentle and loved and respected. And wild!

You want to be needed, missed and admired – to hug her and make her laugh, make her life happier and lighter (whoever the word ‘her’ represents here).

You thrive in having something to offer and living a purpose-filled life. And you have lots to give. We need each other.

Be true, be true, be true, darling. “To thine own self be true.” Go through the process, but get there, don’t give in. I believe in you.

If you were suddenly in your deathbed, would you say, “I wish I had lived a life true to myself – not the life that others expected of me. I wish I had expressed my feelings, and I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.”?

If not, you’re doing great. Yay!

And to those of you in hopes of finding a special gal (the same works for keeping her, I guess).

If you’re not ready for dating, don’t do it. Wait a little. Work on yourself. But when you’re ready…

Go for it 100%!

I can’t promise you the lady you like will like you back, but I can promise you this:

Women like attitude (without the arrogance). Women respond to self-confidence and self-respect. Remember to respect them, too.

Women like guys who are wise and cool and brave. Decisive. They know what they want and dare to try. Men who have the courage to give their best, put in the effort and risk rejection – even if it hurts. (Aren’t guys supposed to love adventure and uncertainty? Hunting? Battlefields? Conquering? A quest, a fair fight with dignity, any way??)

You don’t have to be James Bond, but when you decide to go dating/to keep the lady, don’t just be yourself – but your best!

Don’t do anything half-heartedly, with meager efforts, out of fear. Yuk!

You need time? Ask for it. Communicate.

It doesn’t matter if you’re super skinny or short, super fat or old or whatever. Kind of poor? I don’t care.

Have goals, be working on your goals. Going somewhere. Be affectionate – romantic sometimes. Don’t be mean. I think what she really cares about is the fact that you try hard – even though what you really want is to succeed.

Put on a great new-looking smart shirt or a casual outfit, wash your hair, trim your beard, back straight, smile! Treat her with respect and admiration. Listen to her a little more than you talk yourself. Care! Look into her eyes – practice eye contact. Be a perfect gentleman. Well-mannered, at least.

But dare to hold her hands in the second part of the date. To kiss her good-bye. Text her back soon! The world is quick nowadays, and if you dormir no ponto, if you give it too much time… If she’s really special – uh-oh!

Read her body language and watch out for the signs. Is she touching her hair as she looks at you? Leaning her head? Retouching her lip gloss? Is she touching your arm lightly? Is her smile genuine? Does she think you’re funny? Can you sense if you’re being smart and interesting in her eyes?

And what if you don’t like her? That’s OK, too. Others will. Just like there will be a person who will like you. Your unique self.

Change the game, but be a gentleman anyway. Don’t be a jerk – thank her for a lovely evening. Wish her good luck!

Leave your best impression wherever you go – be it a yes or a friendly no – and she’ll respect you for it. You’ll respect yourself. And that’s powerful!

(I respect all the times Mr. Ex was a good man. All the times he was true and vulnerable, a decent guy. The moments when he was his best. I’ll remember. And most of all, I respect him for not wasting any more of my time and daring to ask for a divorce. For finally making up his mind. Thank you, Pedro.)

If you’re not for each other, at least you did your part and treated her with dignity. Why would you regret that?

But don’t give her half-efforts, excuses or laziness, BS. You deserve to leave a better impression than that.

Your statement, your signature.

That’s just one girl’s very humble opinion. And I’m as fallible as you.

XOXOXOXO,

Anna

(And my real name to others).

Obs. Today I received this cute message. Here it goes for you, too:

Life is as passing as pain.

As beautiful as love.

As simple as me.

As important as you.

Therefore fight, forgive, love, conquer and enjoy every second of it.

If you have to choose between being happy or being important, choose being happy,

Because important you already are! 😊

Chapter 62 – Kristiina’s Vanhojentanssit

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Friday, 19 February 2016.

Day 61

Months and months of dance practice and lots of other efforts, such as searching for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes, planning the perfect hairdo and make up – and the day has finally arrived!

The whole family is very excited with tonight’s special event.

Kristiina woke up at 6 a.m. to go to the hairdresser’s, taking with her the deep-red dress she is going to wear. She’ll be dancing in front of her whole school this morning and in front of all of us, the parents and extended family, in the evening.

Kristiina’s dance partner is her favorite classmate, Babel, a tall Syrian genius who’s grown up in Finland.

“Oh, mom! What if I make mistakes during the dances??”

Anna and Kristiina hug each other bye/see you later.

“It’s normal to feel a little nervous, my darling. But if you make any mistakes, just smile with your back straight, turn your head slightly to the side, let your gorgeous hair fly in the air, and I promise your false steps won’t matter that much. Believe me, linda…

“What people will notice is how confident, beautiful and happy you are.” — Anna reassures her.

Today is the Vanhojentanssit day in all Finnish upper secondary schools – the Ball of The New Seniors, a formal prom that celebrates the passage of the second-year students to high school seniors.

And it is absolutely beautiful!

So far, it feels that the best days since Anna’s separation have all started and ended with Christian’s messages. Today couldn’t be any different. Yay!

10:26 Morning. Still rough today but hopefully will turn the corner.

It’s your last day at school before the autumn break, so I wish you a good one! See you in 2 days (cough cough). 🙂

10:37 Thanks. That’s sweet of you to remember. 🙂 Can’t believe I’ll see you in two days. Hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon!

Teacher Anna is sitting with her whole school after lunch, watching a couple dozen of their countryside students dance graciously – though a bit stiffly. She feels emotional as she looks at them.

The beauty and the innocence of youth… May they be blessed and lead healthy lives, learning to be content in their search for happiness!

She’s grown used to sharing all kinds of things with Christian, so she sends him a video of the dancers.

14:43 I’m sure I’ll cry when see my daughter tonight! Felt like crying when I saw these pupils who I don’t even teach at all.

15:00 Ahh. That’s sweet. Better get the tissues ready!! 🤧 They have obviously been practicing hard.

One of those pupils is really tall!! Must be a basketball player. 😊

15:51 Hi! Going for the coffee power nap now to then get ready to see my very own princess dance tonight! 😊💃

Don’t forget the hankies. 😊

Yeah… I wouldn’t want to mess up my makeup!

Btw, can you see my surnames on WhatsApp? Or does my name appear to you in the way you’ve saved it?

How many do you have??

You’re cute!

I see you as Princess. 😊
Princess Anna!

Aww. Sweet! I have 3 (as do many South Americans). But I’m losing the last one once the divorce is through in July, my dear handsome Prince Christian.

Ahh. You’re too kind.

16:00 Now, I’ve definitely gotta take that nap to then get ready. Trying to look good in less than an hour. Effectively! Very busy day since 5:30 a.m… But tomorrow I’ll just be alone, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, running and such. So, it’ll be easier to chat. I’ll send you a pic of my daughter’s dance later on. 😊

Great. Good luck and enjoy. 😊

Thanks, we certainly will.
I have been sleeping such deep naps that I snore and wake up with my own noises.

Haha. A little snorer? I bet it’s a cute snore though.
💋💋 One for each tattoo. 😊

Mmm 💋!

18:30 Waiting for the dances to start!!

Anna sits in the audience with her mom, Riitta, son Joey, her sister Sarah (Kristiina’s godmother), niece Isabela and varamummo Liisa. They spot Mr. Pedro/Ex from a distance. Riitta cringes.

“Eurgh. Doesn’t it feel bad to see him?” Riitta asks Anna.

“No. I’m sure it’s very important for Kristiina that he’s here, mom.

“And, I’m moving on. Not looking back, but forward.” — Anna assures her. — “Can’t wait to meet Christian in two days. Two days, mom!

“Dating is fun.” — she smiles.

And the Ball of the Seniors is astounding.

01:57 Hey. Just got up. Of course now I can’t sleep. 😊 How did this evening go?

I’m feeling a bit better. Not been eating well though. Lost my appetite, so a bit of weight loss, I guess.

02:01 Hi.

02:02 Hello! You still awake?.

2:03 Yes, have been for 21h already. Since Friday morning 5 a.m.

21 hours awake! How come?

Happy to hear you’re feeling better!

Are you ok?

Yes, fine thanks.

I think I’ve been in bed 21 hours! OK. Not that much.

Oh! I knew I was gonna clean the house on Saturday – just decided to do it after the dance ball instead. This way, when I wake up, I’ll only have some minor things to do. 😊

How was it? Hope you wake up late. You are on holiday after all. 😊

Yes! But I’ll have to get up at 9:50 to move the car.

Your house must be spotless now.

Almost, haha.

The ball was beautiful!! And so much bigger than at my school (I think they said 126 couples were dancing there)!

2:09 Lovely picture. 😊 Did she enjoy it?

Yes! She was sooo graceful. Beautiful! Wonderful body language, smiles, eye contact. 😊 I felt so proud! Will never forget this night.

We never had balls at my school.

Neither did we. Too bad! Love Pride and Prejudice – the dances looked like they were from that time. And from Gone With the Wind.

Would love to see tonight’s dance videos!

Here’s one! Here you go 😊:

Video of Kristiina’s Senior Dance S2 :))

2:13 Wow! Looking great. Congrats. I’m glad you all enjoyed it.

Ah, before I forget!

Remind me, was it English muffins you said you wanted me to bring on my flight? The salty bread, right? Or did I dream that??

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 61 to 62. Beautiful! Surreal.

Chapter 61 – Tinder Date #14

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

They are sitting at a nice table – her usual one – at the Nepalese restaurant in Jätkäsaari, Anna’s neighborhood. Aarne has a huge meal, and she?

She has the soup and an open mind.

It’s the third time she’s at this very restaurant on Tinder dates. With three different men in three weeks. The waiter is starting to look at her in a funny way.

Ops, he’ll think I’m an escort! Maybe time to change venues?

Aarne is tall and a little chubby, friendly and warm. His teeth look like a bunny’s, but he’s cute and nice enough.

54.

She doesn’t feel the chemistry, however, so no flirting from her side!

To discourage him, she just talks about her Ex, church and such things. Haha.

Not cool? Sorry! 😁

She can’t help herself. What is she supposed to do if she’s just waiting for tomorrow to chat with Christian again?

3 days to meet him in person.

Happy Sigh.

Maybe I shouldn’t be going out on these dates anymore before I meet Christian and figure out whether I’ll like him or not.

But there’s another one scheduled for tomorrow. Bad manners to cancel last minute…

Like Tino did to me! Humpf.

Meeting new people is exciting.

Yes.

Besides… This is Anna’s You’re-Free-Now-So-Find-Out-Who’s-Available-Out-There Project, remember?

Play the field!

And her Possibly–Make-Some-New-Friends Project.

The Have-Some-Fun-Live-A-Little and Don’t-Hide-In-Your-House-While-You-Heal and Dare-To-Believe-In-Love-Again Projects are also worth a mention. Don’t you think?

Ultimately, what this really, really is, is…

…The Find-A-B♥️yfriend-To-Share-The-Good-Simple-Things-In-Life-With Project.

Pause.

But Anna, don’t you forget The Don’t-Put-All-Your-Eggs-In-One-Basket-Yet Project. You haven’t met Mr. Boyfriend yet.

The smirky waiter walks by their table and Aarne asks, “Can I have a coffee please? Long drive home soon.” — and turning his gaze to Anna — “What about you? Would you like a coffee or tea?”

“Just another glass of water, please!” 😁🚰😁

Later that night, Aarne texts her.

Dear Anna, I’m now safely back home in Turku, thanks for your concern.

You are very nice, too. 🙂 Thank you for your pleasant company tonight. But, I have to be say that we are from different generations and I have never dated anyone as young as you.

Honestly? I must admit I don’t know exactly why – can’t put my finger on it just yet – but I didn’t really feel the chemistry.

Friends?

Obs. End of Day 60 of… The Above-All-What-You’re-Doing-Is-Rediscovering-Yourself Project.

Chapter 60 – Coffee or Soup?

This blog is a book. Maybe better to read from the beginning? 🙂

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

Annita knows what she wants (new friends and passion, romance, a fun relationship – please, please?)…

She thinks she knows what she’s doing… So, why not?

What we have here is a very project-oriented kind of person (a little obstinate, too). And such a r🙂mantic – my, oh my.

When Anna is determined, she usually goes for it.

With her logic, emotions, body, heart and soul!

Blood and sweat, time, energy, affection, faith and excitement!

But, uh-oh!

Too many dinner dates equals too much food and getting fat.

No!!!

Not to mention the extra expenses in a short period of time.

She’s been out fifteen times in the last three weeks.

Gosh, thank God for my dating protocol!!

Anna realizes three things early on in this story:

(1) She likes it when the men are gentlemen.

(2) But… she doesn’t want to take advantage of anyone.

(3) And… she doesn’t want to gain weight! Or spend too much.

What to do, what to do??

She goes on her first few dates, learns from a few mistakes and comes up with…

The (aforementioned) Dating Protocol:

➡️ She gets a good first impression of the guy within a couple of minutes (She usually knows in the first five seconds if she doesn’t like him – a Mr. Maybe takes a little longer to read).

➡️➡️ If they’re going out on a coffee date, she’ll just have a cup of coffee or tea. (Tea if she thinks she might want to kiss him – and he’s also having tea).

➡️➡️➡️ If it’s a dinner date instead, she’ll just have a soup or a salad.

So far, she’s watched and patiently waited for many men to finish eating full courses.

Oh well… it does give me a chance to observe them and to come up with interesting topics to talk about.

Results wrap-up:

She hasn’t gained weight.

She can afford the dates.

Most guys have insisted on treating her.

No luck in finding Mr. Boyfriend yet.

Dating experience gained and allllllll her fingers crossed.

Hmmm, what if I realize from moment zero that I don’t like my date?

Hmm, maybe…

…I’ll just order a glass of tap water. 🚰

Obs. Day 60 of looking to score a b♥️yfriend (not a free meal)!

Chapter 59 – 3D

Thursday, 18 February 2016.

Day 60

Anna is on her way to work – alone – because the teachers who usually carpool with her have a shorter workday today. That gives her a whole hour to reflect, while she drives in the dark, heavy early morning rainstorm.

Hopes and dreams. Needs.

Frustrations and the hurt she’s determined to leave in the past.

Good things to look forward to!

Ah… how I’d love a boyfriend.

I feel young(ish) and pretty. So much affection to give! So much that could be shared. So very much I’d love to receive. And life is for sharing! We are social beings.

And I’m so passionate!!

I’ve been through too much to care for stuff. Materialism, shopping? Despicable. Meaningless bickerings? Wasting life?

And aren’t the best things for free, anyway?

Affection, embraces, kisses, caring, playfulness, chatting, loving, helping others. Smiling. Shedding emotional tears and other goodies.

With an equal.

Attraction, vulnerability, growth.

Interesting dates – fun!

Hilarious, sometimes – to say the least.

She finds that it’s been good to meet up as quickly as possible after matching on Tinder, and she’s been enjoying some pleasant interaction.

You see, when you’re just online, you start building up a mental picture of the other person in your head. Maybe you imagine a certain height, weight, voice, appearance and body language.

An imagined person based on words and a few 2D images.

It’s like when you’re reading a novel and deciding for yourself what the characters look like. And, more importantly, how their personality shines through.

Then comes the date and… even if you keep an open mind and heart, the longer you’ve imagined the person in a certain way… the more difficult it can be to make the shift from 2D to 3D.

Oh!

Tonight is date #14. With Aarne – the one scheduled three weeks ago, since he lives in Turku. Coming to visit his daughter and excited to meet me – he says.

Hmm. He’s 54.

Finnish.

Uh… I just wonder…

…if I’ll like Christian in person — Anna laughs.

She parks her car and reads the Englishman’s last messages again.

4:30 Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😞 Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

🎼 I’ve got sunshine in a cloudy day… 🎶

9:21 Still feeling like that, yes. But at 4 I was fast asleep.

Glad that you wrote any way. 😊 How are you feeling today? Any coughing? Sore throat?

11:31 Morning. Feel much worse today. Cold is finally coming out. Throat feels better though. Nose will be raw by end of today.

Hope you’re having a nice day there.

Ah, is he really going to make it with his cold??

14:24 Oh, no!! Get well soon. I hope you can stay in bed all day today again. Maybe the salt helped with the throat?

Raw nose? Try lip balm around there a few times per day. Solves the problem.

Awful weather here. Raining hard. Would be perfect to be under covers with good company and watch a nice movie, drinking hot cocoa…

14:47 Eurgh. Struggling today. Glad I don’t have to be anywhere else. Raining? No!! Bring back the snow. ☃️ I like your ideas for spending a rainy day. 😊

15:00 😊 Maybe Monday?

15:01 OK. Hoping for rain in that case. 😊

Me, too!

🎼 When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way? 🎶

Got hotel booked today. Staying at Radisson Blue Royal hotel until Tuesday.

15:24 Nice place! And walking distance to my flat. About 1 km downhill and you’re at my door. Maybe I could choose a restaurant between the hotel and my place, instead of Vapiano. Maybe Koti Pizza? Since you’re ill… So you won’t need to walk that much. What do you think?

15:41 That sounds like a great plan. 😊 And downhill too! Can I ski there??

Haha. You can try to ski there. I’ll watch. It’ll be funny!

During the week, we could have some wonderful veggie soup at my place. Would be good for your cold, too!

Meeting up at 8 or 8:30?

If you could meet me at hotel around 2015 that would be great. I’m still not that familiar with Helsinki….but improving. This is my 4th trip. 5th in March. 😊

Nice!

Let’s do that. Should be there by then.

If the flight is late – snow storm or something – I’m sure we’ll manage to find some other place open.

Healthy pizza sounds great. And your soup. 😊 Want to try that. I won’t let you starve and hope to take you out a few times.

16:22 So we have ourselves a plan. 😊 Oh, I eat very little nowadays. Can survive with 4-6 eggs and I’m happy.

16:24 You should keep chickens!!

Soup, salads, eggs. Volleyball. Not much more that I need. Except a little loving.

That’s good exercise too. 😊 Miss that.

Blink slowly at me with those dreamy eyelashes of yours… And that voice. Maybe I won’t be able to resist. Not sure. Who knows??

Hmmm. I’m just coming out of a long long relationship. So no hurry.

Christian… Should I maybe tell you something?

I’m not really the wild kind. My values are important to me. Having said that… I’d love to get to know someone slowly. Find a boyfriend. Someone to enjoy life with, respect, spend time with whenever possible. Have my person out there!

I read something that makes sense. Something I’ve experienced in life, and it was totally worth it. Even though it ended… ☹️

“I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience… You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.” And… “Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.”

16:58 I’m quoting Anais Nin. Ever heard of her? Beautiful!

I’ve had it and hope to again. Someday!

How do you feel about this? Are you looking for something completely different?

You seem to be a nice person. Friend? Boyfriend? Who knows? We have to meet first, spend some time together. Will there be any chemistry? Maybe.

But I like sincerity and I think you do, too. When there’s honesty, people can make informed decisions and be on the same page.

Would love to hear your thoughts. A little now and more later.

17:14 Thought-provoking quotes there. I haven’t seen them before. To start with, friendship is so important for me – hopefully much more, but it takes a lot of time to get to know people.

Somehow, I can sense that you are such a good person!

I had some bad people in my life. It was only recently I decided to cut my ties. There are too many nice people in the world go bother with the bad ones.

I love what you write. So… looking forward to Sunday. Hope you won’t be disappointed. Either way, we’ll have a fun evening. And some good food and laughs.

🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶.

And… You have to teach me ‘Hazel Eyes,’ Love Letter and Ingenious – all the games you told me about. You promised! 😊

17:23 You sound wise. Looking forward to Sunday!!

Fingers crossed for rain. 😊 Back in bed.

18:08 Good! You need that!

Can’t wait to feel well again. Btw, is my hotel close to station? I’m catching bus from airport.

The hotel is about 600m uphill from the station.

Ok. Hope I can make it uphill!! 😊 They need a chairlift.

You’re so funny! I wish I could pick you up, but it’s sauna time and the teens are coming over for that and then leaving.

Won’t have much luggage so should be easy. Oh. I would never expect that!!

Don’t want to miss the sauna.

Sauna is the right place for you.

🎼 I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me
I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees 🎶

But I would have loved picking you up. You would have been able to hear me singing in the car from moment zero.

Not necessary at all. But thanks.

18:13 No singing necessary for you then. LOL! 😊 Loved your suggestion of getting myself some chickens!

18:15 Meant the lift. Please sing away!! 😊

Look at my dinner.

Mmmm. Making me hungry.

I knew that you meant the lift. Was just teasing you a little.

You teasy-joker! 😊

Anna sends him another picture of her taking a nap. Under lots of covers.

Are you having another power nap?

No. Actually just eating those eggs.

OK. Thought you were multitasking. 😊

Teasing is kind of fun, too. I’m in an energetic mood all the time nowadays! Beware. I might grab you.

I was wondering where you were balancing the eggs. 😊 Grabbing? I like a bit of energy.

(Love how witty you are)! Just a bit? I heard you…

Haha. OK. A lot!!

🎼 Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah 🎶

So lucky to be on holidays from tomorrow afternoon. 😊 Hiihtoloma – our spring break – meant for skiing in Finland.

18:22 Enjoy! Holidays at last.

I’ve brought home some games for 2 from school. Some of my own, so that we’ll have enough to do in case of bad weather.

Great. 😊

Competitiveness and intelligence are big turn-ons!

18:30 So I have to win. What are the games?

Ha. You want to practice, huh? Ingenious. That’s one of the games. 😊 Ticket to Ride. 6 Nimmt.

I want to do my homework for the teacher.

The rules are in Finnish, so, too bad!

Haha. I see. I will just have to trust your teaching, then.

Are you going to sleep soon? Get your energy back for me.

Yep. Sleeping. But I’m thinking about your hazel eyes.

Sweet dreams… I’m going out soon.

Enjoy. I will be thinking about sauna games, as well.

You do that and try to come up with some cool rules. Talk to you later then, handsome eyes.

Sleep well later.

P.S. Three days!! X

Three days for you and me in 3D. 😊 Finally!

🎼 I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
I’ve got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do) 🎶

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. Day 60 – hey, hey, hey! 🎶

Chapter 58 – Eurgh!!

Wednesday, 17 February 2016.

Day 59

Anna is leaving school earlier to go to a doctor’s appointment. She’s thinking and feeling, feeling and going crazy.

I’m 39.

With a shitload of experience, both great and horrible. Half my life ahead of me…

Living in my own flat for two months now…… Met 13 Tinder Guys.

Sigh.

I want intimacy – with chemistry!!!

I’m yearning for hugs, kisses, passion, watching a movie inside an embrace. Getting to know someone precious, unveil who he is… Ah, it’ll be so special!!! A boyfriend – yes!

My life is definitely to be lived. Eurgh!!! Going a little crazy here.

All this energy.

I’ll write Christian a message. 4 days to meet him in person……

11:06 Good morning. How are you feeling today? Driving now. Call? Or does it hurt to speak?

11:18 Morning. In bed. Feel worse today. Just trying to call you. You are definitely driving. 😔

12:19 So, did you gurgle salt and water? And can I have a picture of you with a cold? Under the covers? Please? 🙂

13:03 Haha. I’ll try.
Yep. Gargled. Delicious. 🤢

He sends his picture.

.
13.09 Sick 🤧.

13.11 And veeeery cute!!

OMG, he’s snuggly!!!

You have beautiful eyes! 😍

Hmm. This is the first time I’m seeing his eyes. He had sunglasses on in his other pictures.

13:16 Ahh. Thanks. Don’t feel v beautiful today! ☺️

13:30 I’m checking some homework here. Stories the pupils have written. Lots of spelling mistakes in this one. 🤔

13:32 Mind you, their English is better than my Finnish!

13.34 We’ll have to deal with your Finnish soon. Haha! But teaching you Swedish would be so much easier… Maybe I can come up with a prize system for your Finnish studies. A kiss or something for every ten new words you learn. 😚

Or some punishment when you don’t. Hahaha. Which pushes you better?

Hahaha. I think both would work!! Should I be scared? 😱 😨 Carrot and stick. 😊

Let’s wait and see!

14.21 You look so cuddly in bed. Love looking at your pic! Here’s mine:

.
Wow. MUCH better than mine! 😊😊 Are you having a power nap?

I wish – with you – would be nice!

Nice. 😊😊

14.38 Can I ask you something?

14.39 Of course.

You don’t think I’m this crazy chic, do you?

Not at all!!!

I mean, inside my heart I’m very deep and wise.

14.41 I know.

And I really like you. Your voice and lovely personality.

Same here. I know you are a nice person. 😊
Was that your question? 😊

And to elaborate my answer, if you were crazy….then I like a little crazy. 😊

15.12 Sorry. Was in the waiting room and the nurse called me in. Then I drove back to school.

Just checking, because one day I tell you I may have to take it slow and the next day I act differently. Cool that you like a little crazy. Me too! 😊

15:17 Hope all went OK at Doctor’s.

21:09 I have just finished playing volleyball and it was totally worth it. Super fun! I think I’m going for a short run soon, too. 😊 Hope you’re resting and feeling better soon! I feel energized.

18/02/2016, 4:28 Sorry. Went to bed super early and now I can’t sleep. 😕 Still feeling ‘energised’?? 😊

9:21 Still feeling like that, yes. Haha! But at 4 I was fast asleep. 😉

Obs. All names have been changed, and chat messages were published with the match’s kind permission.

Obs. End of Day 59. Energized.